posted April 07, 2019 01:12 AM            

I have so much responsibility now. That’s what has changed. I’ve been on the right track. But now as a first year teacher still in college it’s like I have responsibilities on steroids.

My friend on the other hand is pretty much taking it easy. Good for her. But she gets bored!

This dynamic has made her annoying to talk to at times.
I feel like with my Saturn return, I am turning into that zodiac sign where I have Saturn. Capricorn. I am starting to feel like a classic Capricorn when other people complain about “their life being hard” I tell you what hard is, this is all the stuff that I am doing! Lol sorry Capricorn’s.

I’m not perfect but she really has some issues.

1. She wants to be 21 and she’s 31! Wants to experience the constant going out. As a person who is about to be 29, I can only handle this 8 times a year. :’D
She wants that so badly but most people around her age are set in their career or have children. Women her age that can make that a priority have a rich husband that does not expect them to work can afford their wife not working. Like a real housewife. Or really live life on the edge. It seems like she did not experience this in her 20’s being sheltered, and wants to experience it so bad. And I’m like yeah that was my life priority 10 yrs ago I’m pretty over it.

2. I feel like part of this escapism also stems from her mom being hyper critical of her. She is a bulemia survivor and her mom gets on her case about her weight. And while people her age are working and dealing with their kids. Her mom is there when she is desperate for social interaction.

3. She relies on me for social interaction. So much that it’s unfair to me since I have a lot going on and that’s just how life is. I’ve set boundaries. I’ve ignored her calls if I can’t talk or don’t text back. Give her an inch and she’ll take a mile. Will call me multiple times a day. She’s gotten better. I gave her a heads up that I have no time to talk to her when my grandma passed. She gave me time, and I appreciate that.

4. “I need a drink” okay! You have a car, you have money. Go by some and drink at home. Like she is pretty much saying I need a drink but can’t drink alone so hurry up and hang out with me so I can drink. Calls herself a social drinker. There is more going on than you just being a social drinker. You are making it other people’s problem that you want to get drunk.
Second time she has done this....tells me that she is just going to go to a bar by herself since everyone is busy. Is this passive aggressiveness I am detecting?
Then she tells me that she lied to her husband that she is going to run errands for an hour! Yikes! If he finds out, he might suspect that she is doing more than drinking.

Her husband does not really like drinking since I think his father ruined it for him. But it’s like look you are lying. You need to boss up and tell him I’m not your father and don’t punish me like am. That’s better than being sketchy.

posted July 09, 2019 12:42 AM            

About a yr ago I went on a kayak date with my boyfriend. Shortly after she would go Kayaking. I didn’t think much of it.

When we talk and I bring up any travel plans I get this gut instinct to not tell her all the details of my travel plans. Asking me the when and the where, I get this weird paranoia of “why do you want to know so much?”

When I told her I booked my trip, the very next day she booked a trip with her husband. She even admitted she told her husband in a “THEY did that” kind of way.
I won’t pretend I don’t get this way from time to time with my boyfriend.

It just seems like if I go on a vacation, she needs to go on a vacation and close to the same date. (As long as it’s one that doesn’t involve a plane ticket)

I’ve brought up my next trip when talking to her. And it seemed like she decided like two days ago that she NEEDS to go on a vacation that same weekend that I’m going in a similar area not too far from me(something I reserved in March) THIS WEEKEND like me!

On the phone I definitely felt the urge to keep my mouth shut. Her husband just started a new job. (If her husband is anything like me that sounds stressful to go away on a weekend.) she said she is going up by herself and then her husband will join her Saturday.
In my head I’m like “jokes on you I’m not going up until Sunday, DONT tell her that-shhh!” Then I found out she hasn’t even booked a place yet...and she was like “it’s kind of short notice I might have to stay somewhere outside the city. “
So I have these alarms going off in my head like “she already knows your city, but don't you dare say the name of you B&B!”

posted August 07, 2019 10:00 AM            

Then I get asked by other people in the group to pick her up. Since I live the closest to her "it's my problem."

It's still me going out of my way. She is in the opposite direction of our meeting location, and she lives in the inner city.

I've done it a bit. She has helped me out with car issues too a few times, and she has picked me up and I am grateful for that. But I am also on the way to our meet up place.

She has these "I don't have car/money" issue excessively. Like every other time it seems.
I am getting really fed up with it. Because someone decided in our group that I have to help her every time since I live the closest to her. I still live about a half hour away from her.

So if I express not wanting to do it "I'm the bad guy." I woke up to a text asking me if I will be nice to someone who barely ever has their **** together, for whatever reason. I work extra out of the way now, so I stated how I'll be working out this way and how that really isn't fair to me.
I got the whole "I don't mind doing it, but you live the closest." Okay PLEASE do! It's not fair that it's always me. Give me a break!

I know I'll get asked again on their lunch breaks.

If you care so much, call her an Uber!

Another reason I am ready to MOVE!

posted December 24, 2019 02:13 AM            

A friend of mine had a relative crash with her also hiding from domestic abuse. Finally kicked her out and good riddance because she'd call her ex to yell at him and whether it was something she said or the phone she used or someone else said something he found her threatening my friend as well. The woman thinks that if you're family you have to put up with that BS. Wrong. Not saying the guy is justified and I hope he's in jail with the other guy but what she did to draw him there was inexcusable and deserved to be kicked out on her sorry ass, and if she's in jail now from her own behavior, too, then no sympathy from us.

Hardly unique, and the holidays are bad when finances are stressful and liquor cabinets are opened. I don't give a damn how well Wall Street is doing, the cost of living keeps on rising and more and more are having to make do shopping at the Dollar Store, and that's going to make things even worse. It seems this is the worst Christmas I can ever recall. I have zero holiday spirit now, and all the rampant hostility around here (those 2 weren't isolated incidents, just the worst for me personally) is a big reason for it.

'Course it's profitable to keep us angry and confused so whatever. Profits trump all virtues and excuses almost any vice, at least according to the vast majority of the human race. I saw American Horror Story: Apocalypse not too long ago and one thing I think they have wrong is Satan (as defined in the show) would be quite happy with us, unless you want to take an Old Testament view in which case Satan is prosecuting us and extermination is our just punishment, not because Satan is evil, but because humanity is. Though the scene of the 2 nerds eating chicken as they plot poison and murder and genocide made me think of what plenty of governments have done, especially the US and Russia and Israel, I bet it was the same kind of people in most cases given the surreal poisonings and bizarre plots. Paid for by the taxpayers.

Hey, this is the venting section. Makes me glad I'm staying away from my kin this year as I know it would be bad this year. At least I get along with those I live with and also my close friends (though they can have issues with others that I get drawn into). The worst fight my partner and I had was over the spider extermination policy, but it got bad because ants got into everything (I eventually took care of it, but that's not something that can be corrected in a day) which doesn't happen when we let some spiders stay in the corners. They only reason I give in on this at this point is I'd feel terrible if she went crippled from a spider bite, which is extremely unlikely, but horrible when it happens ('course even with the spider killing policy it can still happen, but does seem less likely, though maybe the ones who stay in the corner would keep the more aggressive, roaming spiders out, especially as even I will go after spiders that roam around, putting them outside if I'm in the mood or killing them myself). We've done mostly well and I'm grateful for that, but for all of us it has been stressful for many reasons.

I'm still making a Christmas feast and all that despite that I'm not feeling it at all, but it's just going through the motions and not wanting to bring anyone else down who is being more resilient than me. And because of my chronic moody condition this month I've refused all alcoholic beverages despite the temptation to give in and drink myself to numbness, but my parent's horrible example has helped me to make sure I don't repeat their mistakes (or that of my neighbors recently).

My gallows humor helps:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8A1jDTyxYM

posted February 01, 2020 03:24 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
Yep, 3 days ago I came home to the police at the neighbors. They were looking for the husband who threatened to shoot his wife. He came home later after the police left and was yelling up a storm while we stayed away from the windows in case he did start shooting (all their vicious yelling at each other brought back such unpleasant memories, especially as it was obvious both were drunk). Police got him. Wonder how many others like himself he's locked up with.

A friend of mine had a relative crash with her also hiding from domestic abuse. Finally kicked her out and good riddance because she'd call her ex to yell at him and whether it was something she said or the phone she used or someone else said something he found her threatening my friend as well. The woman thinks that if you're family you have to put up with that BS. Wrong. Not saying the guy is justified and I hope he's in jail with the other guy but what she did to draw him there was inexcusable and deserved to be kicked out on her sorry ass, and if she's in jail now from her own behavior, too, then no sympathy from us.

Hardly unique, and the holidays are bad when finances are stressful and liquor cabinets are opened. I don't give a damn how well Wall Street is doing, the cost of living keeps on rising and more and more are having to make do shopping at the Dollar Store, and that's going to make things even worse. It seems this is the worst Christmas I can ever recall. I have zero holiday spirit now, and all the rampant hostility around here (those 2 weren't isolated incidents, just the worst for me personally) is a big reason for it.

'Course it's profitable to keep us angry and confused so whatever. Profits trump all virtues and excuses almost any vice, at least according to the vast majority of the human race. I saw American Horror Story: Apocalypse not too long ago and one thing I think they have wrong is Satan (as defined in the show) would be quite happy with us, unless you want to take an Old Testament view in which case Satan is prosecuting us and extermination is our just punishment, not because Satan is evil, but because humanity is. Though the scene of the 2 nerds eating chicken as they plot poison and murder and genocide made me think of what plenty of governments have done, especially the US and Russia and Israel, I bet it was the same kind of people in most cases given the surreal poisonings and bizarre plots. Paid for by the taxpayers.

Hey, this is the venting section. Makes me glad I'm staying away from my kin this year as I know it would be bad this year. At least I get along with those I live with and also my close friends (though they can have issues with others that I get drawn into). The worst fight my partner and I had was over the spider extermination policy, but it got bad because ants got into everything (I eventually took care of it, but that's not something that can be corrected in a day) which doesn't happen when we let some spiders stay in the corners. They only reason I give in on this at this point is I'd feel terrible if she went crippled from a spider bite, which is extremely unlikely, but horrible when it happens ('course even with the spider killing policy it can still happen, but does seem less likely, though maybe the ones who stay in the corner would keep the more aggressive, roaming spiders out, especially as even I will go after spiders that roam around, putting them outside if I'm in the mood or killing them myself). We've done mostly well and I'm grateful for that, but for all of us it has been stressful for many reasons.

I'm still making a Christmas feast and all that despite that I'm not feeling it at all, but it's just going through the motions and not wanting to bring anyone else down who is being more resilient than me. And because of my chronic moody condition this month I've refused all alcoholic beverages despite the temptation to give in and drink myself to numbness, but my parent's horrible example has helped me to make sure I don't repeat their mistakes (or that of my neighbors recently).

My gallows humor helps:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8A1jDTyxYM

ETA: though my moodiness this month got me a bunch of chocolate for Christmas. I had so much: chocolate cake with chocolate ice cream, Hershey's dunked in Swiss Miss, and special chocolate candies. I rarely indulge in chocolates at all so this was definitely chocolate overload But I was feeling it, down to the tingling of the pleasure centers in my brain. My stomach wasn't feeling well (though I wasn't actually sick) the next day, but worth it!

---

posted February 01, 2020 04:07 PM            

I am going through my own **** right now. I'm glad we can talk and vent. But oh my God give me break! Like I feel like if I don't pay attention to her when she wants it, she doesn't cope with it well. It seems like she is just bouncing off the walls until I talk to her and she doesn't know what to do with herself.

So I was sick from Wednesday-Friday (I am still coughy and contagious but my fever broke)

I talked to her one day even though I was sick. I told her I have been calling off of work.
A while later she texts me that she called off of work sick. It's her life. But it did not sit right with me like "do you have to try to do everything that I'm doing!? Will you jump off a cliff if I jump off one?"

It's getting in weirdo territory for me! I tell her I am looking to move soon and suddenly her and her husband are urgently looking into moving too.

And yeah it is kind of insulting to me that I am actually sick, and she is basically taking a staycation! I knew she would get bored and want to call me. And that makes me say hell no and **** you.
Kind of like a tough love parent that's like "oh you're sick? No TV for you!"

How many times did she call me yesterday?......oh only 4 times. That's it! She's been crazier. and some texting here and there, and even that was a no for me dawg.
Yeah I don't want to talk to someone who is bored and tired of their job when I am actually sick and am missing days of my online college condensed class. And yeah I am sick of my job too. WELCOME TO LIFE!

I've been in her forced overtime situation but I never took a personal day for it, and the only time I did was for another job interview. Not to phone tag with a friend. JC!!

posted February 01, 2020 05:23 PM            

Well I finally text with her today thinking do I really want to talk to her on the phone? When I haven't been able to anything for three days!? No cleaning, college, wearing real clothes etc. I still have been trying to go easy on my self while beginning to be able to actually do things! Plus I am currently out the french word for seals about her Peter pan syndrome, and how she is sick of her job, is bored, wants to have fun, and doesn't know what to do with herself.

I am not the most blunt friend. But we have been friends for almost 5 years now. She was nice enough to ask if she could call me today. I was a little more blunt in my text and even said "I actually need to do things today"
I was like damn that's kind of harsh. But at the same time I've been biting my tongue on saying that for a while.
I also added in how I also have to run errands and when I cough I sound like a fog horn. (Like I have to spit, and I sometimes p1ss myself from couching so hard)
She goes quiet for a bit and then texts like I just wanted to talk, I'll let you do your shopping.
I was relieved that she took it well, for the good times we have had. I then text her "thank you for understanding, let talk in the next day or so"
She proceeds to call me....
whhhAT the ACTuAl fffAAAck!!!???

She at first texts me like nothing happened but then texts me like "I get it I talk to you just about everyday. Feel free to tell if I am being a ****ing pest.

Uhhhm why do you need me to tell you, you are a ****ing pest when I already told you in non vulgar English I cannot talk to you today?

Sounds like a childish temper tantrum, where I am suppose to feel bad that I am not giving her the attention she demands.
Her behavior is pushing me away. I really need my space from her and don't need her crap while I try to keep up with working and condensed college. After that text I'm like "yup I'm done with her today"

posted February 01, 2020 08:16 PM            

Long story short, I made...I think soup, but I honestly can't remember if it was chili or even a sandwich. In any case, I love it hot and spicy (as in some people's eyes will tear up just smelling it) and especially after leaving Texas I learned to ask how spicy they could handle it.

She told me whatever I made for myself, and I warned her of the above. Still same answer.

So she got it (and saw me make it so she had the chance to say something then as well). She then was obviously tortured as she forced herself to eat it, with tears and mucus, and many hints for me to offer her something else.

I didn't. It ticked me off that I asked an honest question and instead of telling me the truth she told me what she THOUGHT I wanted her to here. While she pretended (in vain) she wasn't suffering, I pretended not to notice her suffering.

Again, I was young, and didn't realize how much pressure many are put under to go along and agree, and to giving fake answers to what they assume are fake questions (as that is how many people are, and even how the business and sometimes religious/spiritual world works), plus there is the odd thing that to "bond" you have to eat the same thing, and also share smokes and drinks in some cases, or you're rejecting the other person. If it happens again now as I'm older I expect I'd make her (or whoever) something else, but they would get a lecture on honesty and not just assuming I was fishing for specific responses, and also to not try to make me second-guess everything they said with hints when the plain truth works just fine. It shouldn't be a problem, I know lots of people will, if they can, order different pizzas (even in the same pizza pie if they can get away with it, like half of it veggie) and it's not a problem.

x

That said, I had an experience I think is funny. When a friend of mine was marrying and moving away we ate at her favorite Thai restaurant (our treat, our way to celebrate her engagement and also our way of saying goodbye since she was moving hundreds of miles away). I ordered prawns and asked for hot. The waiter asked me if I really wanted hot as not many not raised on it could handle it and I said yes, I was raised on Tex-Mex. But I said just to be on the safe side I'll take a side order of rice.

That was the spiciest-hot meal I ever head. But gods it was so GOOD, especially while heated up, that I couldn't stop. I quickly went through the rice, drank the free water, drank the Singha that I'd ordered out of curiosity and then ordered more Singhas (note that I don't drink much so after like 3 bottles I was really buzzed).

I had to go to the bathroom to clean up my face after and wash any lingering spices on my fingers, but it was worth it.

We went to an adjoining store while we were there, and I, very buzzed and impulsive, grabbed some cans of Fancy Feast on sale for the feral cat that lived across the street. My partner did not notice until we got home, and then she blew her top because I said SHE wasted money, and here I was buying Fancy Feast for a cat not even ours.

But we also had ice cream topped with brandy (and my tongue was still on fire so the ice cream was so good) and I think she forgot it. Just to make sure she didn't remember I dumped the cans in the recycling bin of a neighborhood cat lady (with her permission, she and I were casual friends, maybe even acquaintances is the better word).

posted April 03, 2020 02:55 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
Heh, the above reminds me of something when I was much younger. I doubt I'd do the same today, though she'd get a lecture (which for some would be even worse).

Long story short, I made...I think soup, but I honestly can't remember if it was chili or even a sandwich. In any case, I love it hot and spicy (as in some people's eyes will tear up just smelling it) and especially after leaving Texas I learned to ask how spicy they could handle it.

She told me whatever I made for myself, and I warned her of the above. Still same answer.

So she got it (and saw me make it so she had the chance to say something then as well). She then was obviously tortured as she forced herself to eat it, with tears and mucus, and many hints for me to offer her something else.

I didn't. It ticked me off that I asked an honest question and instead of telling me the truth she told me what she THOUGHT I wanted her to here. While she pretended (in vain) she wasn't suffering, I pretended not to notice her suffering.

Again, I was young, and didn't realize how much pressure many are put under to go along and agree, and to giving fake answers to what they assume are fake questions (as that is how many people are, and even how the business and sometimes religious/spiritual world works), plus there is the odd thing that to "bond" you have to eat the same thing, and also share smokes and drinks in some cases, or you're rejecting the other person. If it happens again now as I'm older I expect I'd make her (or whoever) something else, but they would get a lecture on honesty and not just assuming I was fishing for specific responses, and also to not try to make me second-guess everything they said with hints when the plain truth works just fine. It shouldn't be a problem, I know lots of people will, if they can, order different pizzas (even in the same pizza pie if they can get away with it, like half of it veggie) and it's not a problem.

x

(Oh, and for those wondering, I did see the cat across the street seem to enjoy himself as he ate the Fancy Feast I left out on a plate for him. )

---

That is so true! I catch myself "being agreeable" when I don't agree with someone to avoid conflict. My life kind of changed when I sat next to an extreme judgmental catholic on a two hour flight. She was so in my business too about my life style. I realize I don't need to smile and nod around bigots anymore. One of my mom's church friends started to go on a rant about town politics and Christianity. I told myself I can look at my phone while she rants to my mom. I do not have to worry about coming across as rude. It's my way of saying you are full of it, with out actually arguing with the person.

posted April 08, 2020 09:59 PM            

Setting boundaries is a way of caring for myself. It doesn’t make me mean, selfish, or uncaring (just) because I don’t do things your way. I care about me, too. ― Christine Morgan

Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others. – Brené Brown

This one is a new and powerful quote for me.

posted April 09, 2020 02:53 AM            

And I do know what that's like. I got rid of my instant messenger when it first came out and stay off of it because I couldn't do anything online with it. People would see I was online and talk to me about NOTHING. Not just a polite hi, but want to have the most mind numbing boring, pointless texting conversations, and took offense that I was doing other stuff online. No, I couldn't keep them waiting. I had to respond within like a minute or I was "ignoring" them. This prevented me from doing anything else, so it was either delete IM as I did, or be exiled from the internet.

This is why I prefer email (and private messaging and message boards) to text messaging, save for very special occasions. One day I'll probably try one of those virtual clubs and that will be different as that's what I'm actually there for, not to exchange virtual mindless grunts with complete strangers. (And these days it's all about the clicks as well as the thumbs up or down, so even when having a "real" conversation it's all about getting the right clicks, which means fake conversation.)

It's also why I don't pay for text messaging, however convenient it might be a times (though if I lived alone I would, but it would be understood it was ONLY for important stuff, like letting me know someone is okay, and not to keep me glued to the phone while life passes me by with trivial gossip or even mindless emojis).

It boggles my mind, and scares/anger me what others will put up with. I remember when the idea of the Borg was terrifying, but plenty would turn themselves into Borg if they could only put their smartphones directly into their brains for constant conformity of thought and the comfort of a hive mind. That's not hyperbole, that's how I see many people, but for now anyway I'll spare the many paragraphs of experiences and observations.

posted April 09, 2020 09:41 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
Nice ones.

And I do know what that's like. I got rid of my instant messenger when it first came out and stay off of it because I couldn't do anything online with it. People would see I was online and talk to me about NOTHING. Not just a polite hi, but want to have the most mind numbing boring, pointless texting conversations, and took offense that I was doing other stuff online. No, I couldn't keep them waiting. I had to respond within like a minute or I was "ignoring" them. This prevented me from doing anything else, so it was either delete IM as I did, or be exiled from the internet.

This is why I prefer email (and private messaging and message boards) to text messaging, save for very special occasions. One day I'll probably try one of those virtual clubs and that will be different as that's what I'm actually there for, not to exchange virtual mindless grunts with complete strangers. (And these days it's all about the clicks as well as the thumbs up or down, so even when having a "real" conversation it's all about getting the right clicks, which means fake conversation.)

It's also why I don't pay for text messaging, however convenient it might be a times (though if I lived alone I would, but it would be understood it was ONLY for important stuff, like letting me know someone is okay, and not to keep me glued to the phone while life passes me by with trivial gossip or even mindless emojis).

It boggles my mind, and scares/anger me what others will put up with. I remember when the idea of the Borg was terrifying, but plenty would turn themselves into Borg if they could only put their smartphones directly into their brains for constant conformity of thought and the comfort of a hive mind. That's not hyperbole, that's how I see many people, but for now anyway I'll spare the many paragraphs of experiences and observations.

Oh! I loved this South Park episode (it's wikipedia, but I think you can get a link to the video from there): You have 0 Friends

---

Oh my gosh I hate IM on FB! I use to avoid going on FB cause a handful of dudes use it to try to booty call and such. I like just lurking on FB these days, and the IMs disrupt that. lol

Oh my gosh.....I was contemplating using the do not disturb on my iphone. Cause yeah that friend has been texting exactly that "most mind numbing boring, pointless texting conversations" That is funny that you mention South Park. She just discovered South Park and omg she sent me bursts of texts about it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAA1xgTTw9w

Yes I started to realize I could be doing more with my day if she calmed the BEEP down. It was starting to feel like all I was doing was eating, relaxing, school work, showering, watching nieces and nephews and giving her a piece of my time every single day. For how annoying she is, why am I allowing her to get most of my time and attention when she doesn't deserve it?

posted April 09, 2020 09:51 PM            

I've had a problem with my text window looking empty, and only finding out later that I had texts, after seeing a notification. I've had to search for names, to find anything texted to me. It was working again, the other night, but it comes and goes, and I have no idea why.

posted April 09, 2020 10:23 PM            

I faced time with one of my good friends today. I will call him J. He had some good insights to my situation. He brought up something my mom has mentioned. That she is getting in stalker territory. Because if I don't pick up she will proceed to call me 10 times that day before giving up. My mom said stalker because she took a sick day because I took one.

J said I should make a list of the pros and cons and being this persons friend. He advised also saying how many times I can do phone calls. Honestly it is the only way I think I can give this friendship another shot, and attempt to have a healthy one.

posted April 09, 2020 10:34 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by teasel:
I don't mind text messaging, but only a few friends have my number. I sometimes feel anxiety even talking to them, but I usually let them know if that's the reason I haven't responded for a while - they also know what to expect from me now.

I've had a problem with my text window looking empty, and only finding out later that I had texts, after seeing a notification. I've had to search for names, to find anything texted to me. It was working again, the other night, but it comes and goes, and I have no idea why.

I've got used to mainly talking on message boards, or facebook posts. I rarely send messages on facebook, and miss those sent to me all the time. My chat window is signed off, and I don't use the app, only my browser.

---

I can go almost a whole month with out checking messenger. Ugh those we should hang out messages. Where you know you aren't going to...like God I can barely keep in touch with current good friends, yeah I'm sure we will hang out as much as I think you are a cool person.
And sometimes it's on my end...like sssssshhhhhhyaaaa where I am just getting weird vibes from the person, and I gotta be the blow offy person.

posted April 09, 2020 10:55 PM            

How to tell a friend nicely not to text and call so much; Dealing with compulsive texters http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgovrSqOUlM

posted April 09, 2020 10:55 PM            

How to tell a friend nicely not to text and call so much; Dealing with compulsive texters http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgovrSqOUlM

posted June 14, 2020 11:25 AM            

She would try to text me while I was nannying these overly attached unessesary texts. Like "I hope you have a good day, and that its not too crazy today" I will have a good day by not talking to you, and you are the one that is crazy.
I did not respond. She eventually learned to not send me these texts and to just call me once a week.

I was happy and surprised that we could get to this level in our friendship. Though I will admit once a week is starting to feel like too much. I have better friends that I don't even talk to that much.

I would keep a chat to an hour. I would always be the one to end the conversation.

Well her behavior ended up escalating last week. I let her know that I was visiting the state my fiance was working in, and that I could only text.

I'm guessing in her mind it took her a lot of inner work to be able to handle only talking once a week. I'm assuming she felt a loss of sense of control.
Because on Wednesday the day before I left she called me.
I nannyied my nieces and nephews all day, had to finish packing and attempt to CLEAN. lol I'm busy and I don't owe an explanation. Then she resorted to texting and I wasn't having it.

THEN the first weekend on the trip she calls me! Ignore. Then texts like she is suppose to. I don't care. When I specifically say don't call me, and you do then I don't even want to text you, on Saturday she called me two times in a row. I hate that I had to do this but I blocked her number. I wish I just knew how to set "do not disturb" to a single person on the iphone. But I don't. I wasn't sure how she would take it. But I had to tell myself, if she finds out it shouldn't be shocking to her.

I am reminded that stalking is defined as unwanted contact.

Anyways as I hit the road back home yesterday. I check my work email and unblock her number. A few hours after I get a phone call. I don't pick up and text that I am driving back home. She does a whole "I don't mean to bother you, let me know when you can talk later" I text "I can talk tomorrow around noon to evening."

Well now I am ****** . I got home at night yesterday. My apartment is a dump. I need to unpack. I have today to do a lot with online college, and something for my preschool job. Then I nanny 3 kids, three days in a row. I am doing something special for my preschool job on Thursday.

But big baby friend needs attention! UGH!! I am so not into this. So I am pretty much here to tell myself:

Just because I usually talk to someone once a week, and I take a week off from communicating with them. Does not mean that I owe them conversation immediately after my break.

To get astrological, a lot is retrograde right now. I feel like the universe is making me revisit these issues.