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Author Topic:   @Mirage29
AQUACap88
Knowflake

Posts: 370
From: United Kingdom
Registered: Jun 2020

posted August 02, 2020 11:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AQUACap88     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
😩 Iím so stressed with school and life. Please comfort me T.T

Have you been well? Miss you xx

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 139135
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 03, 2020 04:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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MoonMystic
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Posts: 4402
From:
Registered: Nov 2016

posted August 03, 2020 08:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonMystic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

⚘.🌸.⚘

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mirage29
Knowflake

Posts: 14328
From: us
Registered: May 2012

posted August 03, 2020 10:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
(((AQUA!!!! *big comfort-hug* !!!!))
How are you doing? ...

Wow.. {looking at your chart}
How special that you had the
Full Moon in Aquarius ON your SUN today!!!

FM Aquarius 11.43
Your Sun Aquarius 11.1l.

Transiting Saturn retrograded back into Capricorn, crossing your Neptune 27+ and Venus 26+ Capricorn H11.

If you think back --
This is something you already 'felt' before last February and March 2020.
So
you have "already" been through it once, and now, this is RETROGRADE Saturn {moving backwards this time}. It's a re-visit.

You'll have a tiny reprieve (even with it still there). Once Saturn turns around again to go over this place ONE more time-- you'll realize how you have worked out this energy as it passes over one more time.
Explained below.

By the way...

You are NOT Alone in how this feels for you right now.
Neptune is a "generational" planet, so people around your AGE are all receiving this 'Saturn stress' right now.
It's "not" just-you going through this..
{if it's any consolation?}.

AND!!
Because YOU know astrology, that gives you a HEADS-UP on "what's going on" inside you, from this transit--
YOU can Ace this!!!

With SATURN--
You have TWO transits going on at the same time. Others may only have the Saturn-Neptune.
The Saturn-Venus with it, might kind of emphasize any feelings you might have of self-doubting.. YOU stay in there. *hug*

* Saturn conjunct Neptune 27.57 Capricorn
* Saturn conjunct Venus 26.02 Capricorn

Quoting Planets in Transit, by Robert Hand.

REMINDER You have felt this BEFORE.
It is 'not' unfamiliar.
It is ONLY a re-visit

You and anyone else at LL who were born with late Neptune in Capricorn are going through this "together."

SATURN CONJUNCT NEPTUNE
During this transit you may have to contend with 'negative moods' that can be quite upsetting.
This transit often results in
confusion, self-doubt, uncertainty, and a general tendency to "look at life from the worst possible point of view."

At its worst, it can make you completely uncertain about 'what is real' in your life,
resulting in a sense of "fear and free-floating anxiety."

This is because Saturn rules what we 'normally' think of as reality,
while Neptune rules 'the ideal'---
the illusory and the 'apparently unreal'.

It is apparently unreal because what Neptune rules is actually another order of reality.
When the two planets are combined, the two categories of Reality blend and become difficult to separate.
It is important to remember---
that this transit usually makes things
"appear worse" than they 'actually' are.

Your confidence and sense of well-being are at a low at this time, and
you should NOT take your own 'gloomy evaluations' too seriously. *Heart*

You seem to be aware of only those facets of life that you are 'afraid of' [while] totally unaware of those things that can Comfort and Reinforce you.

Pay attention to your health at this time.. if you feel that any part of your body is not quite as it should be, then have it checked by a physician.

Strange as it may seem,
there IS a constructive side to this transit, ..
if you are very well-attuned to your inner needs and secure enough 'not' to be lead astray by illusions,
even fearful ones,
then this transit can GIVE you
the ability to make extraordinary self-sacrifices.

One effect of this transit is to detach you from the 'material' universe.

In that case you may become disoriented and afraid, as described already,
or {more positively} you may find that the demands of the material universe no longer concern you particularly, --
and you can sacrifice your material needs TO your spiritual needs.

Either way,
your perception of reality at this time is quite different from what it normally is,
which you should take into consideration when making any plans for the future.

________
transits--
SATURN will turn around Sept 29 at 25+ Capricorn, and go direct.
You might feel it again for the LAST time, in forward movement.
It will come over your planets (Venus, Neptune)
from the 4th week of November through the first couple weeks of December--
THEN,
{hurray} Saturn crosses AGAIN into Aquarius for Christmas 2020.
Out of heavy earthy Capricorn .. and back into AIR.

This TOO shall pass.

I see Mars in your 2nd House.
Be careful with your money,
your spending.
Impulsive purchases.


SATURN conjunct VENUS
(Relationships can undergo stress.
Time of testing and examination. Some relationships serve no purpose anymore for you--
so, having outlived their purpose, these may go.}

It's a time for you to evaluate 'who' you are,
what your individuality consist of,
and how all of these fit into your relationships with other people-- particularly your loved ones.

You may come to some harsh realizations about your relationships, and even those that you thought were quite good may have to be given up.
But you can be sure that any relationship that comes through {makes it through} this period in 'good shape' is very real and important to you. *thumbsup*

{positive}
New relationships with a strongly "fated" quality may also come into your life now, which will have very profound significance for you in about fourteen years.

On a very different level,
this transit can also mean a 'period of austerity' {money/things}, in which (either voluntarily or otherwise) you will give up many of the little indulgences and luxuries that have filled your life previously.
.. This situation would be viewed as an opportunity for self-examination,
for seeing your relationship to the appurtenances with which you have saddled your life.

This is definitely a time to be "conservative in financial matters" and 'not' take on any new financial obligations, for you may have trouble meeting your existing one.

On the other hand,
this is an excellent time for firming-up and organizing the financial structure of your life.

In general, you should look upon this transit as a time for withdrawing into yourself with respect to others and to material possessions.

This withdrawal will enable you to get a clearer idea of 'what and who' you are, so that your future relationships with people and possessions will be more solidly based on reality, and therefore more reliable and useful.

end/quote

ref http://www.amazon.com/Planets-Transit-Life-Cycles-Living/dp/0924608269

Hope you're all right! *angel*

By the way--
I saw some of the Personal Readings you've participated in. You really 'helped' people! *thumbsup* .. *hug*
Proud of you.

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AQUACap88
Knowflake

Posts: 370
From: United Kingdom
Registered: Jun 2020

posted August 04, 2020 04:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AQUACap88     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:

Aw!

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AQUACap88
Knowflake

Posts: 370
From: United Kingdom
Registered: Jun 2020

posted August 04, 2020 04:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AQUACap88     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by MoonMystic:
.. many ((hugs)) and positive thoughts to you! and for Mirage too!
Hopefully she'll see your post when she logs in next time.
⚘.🌸.⚘

Thank you so much >.<

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AQUACap88
Knowflake

Posts: 370
From: United Kingdom
Registered: Jun 2020

posted August 04, 2020 04:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AQUACap88     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sigh Mirage, you really know how to comfort me

Ahhh perhaps it was because of the Moon which made me feel that way. You know I dislike the Moon due to how afflicted mine is natally.

I don't think I am doing fine at all I have been so depressed and lacking motivating. I started on antidepressants a few weeks back and I was getting a little better, now it's just less sad and still no motivation to do anything which makes me so angry at myself. Iím repeating the same vicious cycles I used to. Wasting time, feeling despondent, thinking of the future, more time get wasted and I feel even more despondent and I know eventually I need to get out of this rut and do something about it. Knowing me, it will probably take a long time and by then it will be another race to catch up.

I'm starting to think I can't make myself put in the effort because I think I am going to fail either ways. For the first time in my entire life, my next step is a new one instead of a a corrective one. I have too much fear. So I think I am self sabotaging myself so I have "myself" to blame once again and strive towards "fixing" it...

I'm really struggling because it is my exam week yet the effort I am expanding is not even 1/10 of what I used to and I hate myself so much for it. I know I am going to regret this, I know I should be doing things but I just feel so dead inside.
//just ranting//

I wish I can slap myself alive.
I have so much anger at myself. For everything that is going on/has happened and even the state of my mood.

I don't want anymore venus, I don't want anybody in my life, I hope I never meet anybody. I wish for it to be saturn-neptune forever so by expecting the worst, I am never disappointed. I feel so dead. Angry, but dead (LOL).

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mirage29
Knowflake

Posts: 14328
From: us
Registered: May 2012

posted August 06, 2020 10:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I hope you're getting through your exams in a good way. What subjects are they on?

Sorry to hear you had to go back on the anti-depressants. Those are made to 'blunt' you. Perhaps you're not feeling at 100% capacity (to take your exams as usual) 'because' it's part of the side-effects of those drugs. What you've learned, is already IN you. You might do better than you thought. *fingers-crossed*

Do you get into any kind of "physical" exercise or sports? Perhaps run errands for the elderly in your community? .. Do something that you can "see" achieve results "on the outside" of you?

Take up a "hobby".. for example, something like Carpentry/House Building-- where you can Volunteer your labor AND learn a valuable skill that you'll use all your life? Get involved with some "Humanitarian" groups. I'm looking at all your beautiful Aquarius planets AND asteroids.. IN the 12th can have to do with humanitarian efforts too -- Jupiter just-inside that H12! With asteroid Hidalgo and Pluto on top of your MC Sagittarius, instead of 'imploding' and keeping all that emotion-energy INSIDE of you, you can direct the powerful flow of that Creativity within you to the OUTSIDE with a PURPOSE for Doing Good for others. It will also give you a sense of "doing something" and achieving a Good Thing. A Good thing that you will remember, Always. It will be a part of your memory and emotional Bank. Feed you with a sense of "I Did That".. I Helped there.

Balance Intellectual WITH Physical, too.

You have a gorgeous chart.
Focus on Dreaming for the FUTURE.
Let the past BE passed.
You're BETTER than that, TOTALLY!!!

It does NOT "define" who your are.

You are of a special age right now where YOU decide what you want to Value. It's like going to a buffet. You can 'leave' some things behind, and choose what you want your life and self to Represent in the Future.

I realize how FRUSTRATED you are! *hug*
And, IN all that frustration, is ENERGY that can be Directed towards something you want. Towards something you want to build for your life, and "put your name" on it.

I'm looking at your chart, and, I got a chance to look at people's chart in a summit recently. Do you KNOW... that those people HAVE the chart-shape that you do-- and they had their challenges too, yes.

Your Moon H8 wants to challenge all those planets in H11, and H12. That's POWERFUL energy AT your disposal.

Scorpio Moons.. so deep, so Dear.
I don't think anyone feels as deeply as a Scorpio Moon.

And, you may ultimately down the road of life, find that your Moon can turn out to be a Strength for you. Chiron.

Rise UP.

You are NEEDED in this World.
Fight. Fight to take ALL that energy you have, like Water in a Firehose. Learn the 'control' OF the hose... and the power you'll have is enormous.

This time period of your life is VERY brief, and important.

You seem to have the feel-effects of the Saturn to Neptune-Venus down 'perfectly'!! LOL

When you understand something SO CLEARLY, then you GOTTA know... the only way through is to 'persist'. Your 'thoughts' are temporary... YOU decide what to take action on, or not. Just because you think-it, you don't HAVE to CHOOSE it. ... Think of the buffet.

(music) "I Am Light" (India Arie, SuperSoul Sessions, Oprah Winfrey Network) [3:38] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OL-gxfx2QtY

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mirage29
Knowflake

Posts: 14328
From: us
Registered: May 2012

posted August 06, 2020 02:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Aqua again!

I finally figured out you birthdata info, and plugged it in at Astrodienst.

Have you ever explored their free mini-readings? .. I was able to read yours, and I think you'll find it helpful.

You and I, together, have a sensitive nature. Yours is of a "magnanimous" nature, too.. rare.

And, says you can be TOO self-disciplined!!
Need to be able to loosen a bit, and also your Will.

With myself, other people might not guess, really, the amount of shyness and sensitivity that I have. I'm a mixture of both the Extrovert, with introvert. .. ~oy!

If you need someone to STAND UP with you, I'm THERE. For sure.

I have struggled with bullies in my life. People don't know the damage that can happen from that. .. Clearly I have such sensitivity to folks who've been hurt in their life. I like to join their spirit, and to embolden them, tell them how MUCH they are really-truly Worth. Worthy, worthy human beings .. Each, so special.

I said above "how proud I am of you" and proud of the readings I saw you do in Personal Readings. You stepped in, and did a GOOD job!!! Bravo. ... Read your Astrodienst free-reading reports. Do you know that what you do there is part of your Talent?

If you can get the money,
obtain every one of the computer-reports you can get from Astrodienst. SAVE it. Hold it in a special place, and as you mature in life, it can mean more and more to you.

One of the reports mentions the 'unfortunate' trauma episode you had in childhood .. yup! Part of the plan. It talks about you maybe being afraid that 'this' would repeat or be part of your Future, but it says not to view it that way.

You, essentially, are an introvert.
The music talent and art talent, poetry, mystical things, EVEN astrology and your oracle cards, all "part of your life" -- mentioned in several areas of your chart.

Read through the reports, and just 'sit' with it.

So.. Came back to tell you,
You Are Loved.
and well-hugged!!!!

Can't wait to hear how you did on your tests.
What were the tests on?

____________
Adding...
auto-correct changes words I've chosen!!! Not FAIR. LOL
Just warning you about that, especially when English isn't your first language. So sorry.

Try to learn to use your Astrodienst account. Follow the Daily Horoscope for yourself.

You have a transit starting for only a few days, that can "feel" like you're antsy and scattered and more restless.

Can feel like it is stimulating your mind to "race". .. Remember, it's TEMPORARY. ..

Just ... Slowwwwwww yourself down. ... Practice Peace. Getting into some music, art, or looking at Beautiful things, Nature, to help you.

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mirage29
Knowflake

Posts: 14328
From: us
Registered: May 2012

posted August 06, 2020 06:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
If you want.. go to Astrodienst.
Choose in Free Horoscopes--
"Short Report - Forecast"

You have some positive transits working for you, along with harder ones. Often times, we have both going on. Learn to identify them loosely. Work them.

QUOTE Astrodienst.
Jupiter conjunction Venus: Elegance and taste
Beginning of April 2020 until beginning of December 2020:
This influence helps to smooth over all difficulties in your relationships, as well as to promote friendship and give you a strong desire for happy and peaceful times.
You enjoy being with and talking with friends and will probably attend or hold several social gatherings during this time.
You may also be the center of attention for some reason, and you will enjoy basking in the limelight.

This influence occasionally will bring a new love interest into your life.
If it does, and other factors are equal, the relationship should prove to be an 'unusually' successful one in which you both grow a great deal and in which there is an excellent balance between love and freedom.
Such a relationship will be devoid of jealousy or pettiness to an unusual extent.

The same energy affects existing relationships, so that you are able to relate to loved ones with great ease.

Because you are concerned with the larger issues in your relationship, you are not about to cause trouble over any problem that is not extremely important.
And such a problem is not likely to surface during this time.

At this time also your taste is likely to become more elegant, and you may be tempted to buy something that is very expensive or fancy.
At the worst it might even be gaudy or tasteless.
In fact one of the few real dangers to watch out for under this influence is the tendency to waste or squander money or other resources.
Depending upon your own state of mind, however,
this influence can also bring in money and increase your resources.
Whichever way it goes,
it should be well under your control.

You have a strong desire to surround yourself with beauty.
Sordid or ugly surroundings are much harder than usual for you to bear, so make an effort to avoid them.
You are concerned with the beautiful side of life at this time, and you should do everything to expose yourself to it.
end/quote

(music) My Eyes Were Made To See Thy Beauty Everywhere
(Frances Kozlowski, Yogananda chant)
[3:18] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZhhmOwK7Tk

Lyrics
My eyes were made to see Thy beauty everywhere
My ears were made to hear thine omnipresent voice

Listen to that song from your Heart.
It is repetitive.
That Beauty is already WITHIN you...

Question--
Were you raised/trained in any religious belief system?
Catholicism has prominence in your country?

Higher Power?

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AQUACap88
Knowflake

Posts: 370
From: United Kingdom
Registered: Jun 2020

posted August 07, 2020 06:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for AQUACap88     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My papers were on financial derivatives (options, futures) and international finance <3
My results wont be out for another 2 months but I will let you know!

Mirage you always have the nicest things to say to me and the sweetest heart >.< I feel so comforted.

You can also read me well... I have been thinking of volunteering in my local community to *get out* of this rut/emotional state I am in. I will listen to you and start finding volunteering opportunities next week ^^

I feel that my antidepressants has helped me a lot or else I definitely wouldn't have been able to cope with these. My emotions are more blunted, making it easier to breathe. *sigh* My Moon 8H exhausts me. And brings me pain. It is much easier to just ignore these emotions, the way I always had in the past. I don't know why I bothered, resulting me in losing control and needing to be back on anti depressants.

I feel more energetic today and managed to read a book. I hope my mind clears up soon. And you are right, I am a bit too self disciplined >.< That's why I felt so frustrated at myself. I think it's because of my mars opposite saturn, I read it could manifest as "extreme cruelty to self in the form of self discipline".
I'm so happy I have you to count on, you really cheered me up and gave me some strength. I have a feeling that I want to be better so you wouldn't be disappointed. You seem to think so highly of me~ and it makes me want to be more deserving of that.

I don't want a new love interest!! T_T

And no, my country practices all religions. Being multiracial and multi-religion is a part of our identity~

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mirage29
Knowflake

Posts: 14328
From: us
Registered: May 2012

posted August 07, 2020 12:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
"You seem to think so highly of me~ and it makes me want to be more deserving of that."

ummmmm. You ALREADY deserve it.?
There's no such thing as MORE.

Did you ever hear or read the story of Michelangelo, and how he approached sculpting his statues?

He chose a large block of stone.
Then, he chipped away the parts of stone that 'didn't belong' to the statue INSIDE his MIND, projected by Imagination, into the stone.

We are ALREADY "a work of Art"...
Our job is to process and "release" whatever outer karma there is. The inside of you came into this world already-Whole.

Coming into the body, you entered the family DNA collection of talents AND also lessons learned and things to be released.

AS you "realize" what these pieces of things are {pertaining to your family, and you}, they pour through the light of your mind {and emotion, MOON}. You can work through a release of pockets of energies associated with it. Your 12th House is related to your Ancestry {along with other houses, like, your 8th!!}.

I am not a perfect person, Aqua.

No one is. We can ALL disappoint during off-times. It is not 'me' that you now look towards... it's the projection of the 'you' that you already are and want 'in your mind'. What you see in me, can be the mirror of you.

It is an imperfect mirror. We see through the glass darkly {quote}. There is an Ideal we can both have that we want to reach from our imperfect selves, but that 'imperfect self' is Divine and Planned and perfect as-is.

Going back to the idea of beautiful statues imbedded in stone, part of what life and Relationships do, is to help 'chip' and release us.

BTW.
I feel nervous being put up on a pedestal (statue)?, because whenever anyone does that to/for another person, it can be a set-up-- unconscious. That other-person WILL disappointment at some place in time. It can be a set-up TO fail. Then what? .. Gently, how can you deal? Do you 'punish', or can you be 'forgiving', with no lashing out {at self in mirror}?

WE/I ain't done yet!!!
We never will. There will always be 'something' that comes up in surprises.

We are Human Beings.

What's important is to 'hold' a high opinion of self, WITH warts and all!

There is No Punishment.
Let it go.
Let things flow as they need to.

We've all been through enough hell, as it is. Life (and people) can be soooo cruel.

Our faults and vulnerabilities are part of the Unique and Beautiful statue that we are. Interesting statues. Captivating Character!!


Practice SELF-Acceptance.
Know that we CAN have {and DESERVE} the outside Support, and Acceptance, and Love from Others-- 'without' issue of WHY they do.

If you believe in past lives, we have known each other before. There is Comfort in meeting with former associates once again. Like a pair of comfy slippers.

I think highly of you, because you are deserving and Kind. You have already worked hard on your self. {I work hard on myself.}

AND, I'm a Fan of Human Potential.
What you Feed, is what can Grow.
If I have an Ability to See the BEST in People,
then people can see themselves IN that mirror,
and have Permission to Nurture their 'own' selves through it.

I have a Virgo Moon.
I understand being self-critical.
I've had to work on that before.
Become Self-Accepting, and ARREST any self-punishing.
... ohhhh yeah. Been through that.
My own mother could NEVER find ANY good thing to say..
I had to gradually work my way out of that.
I have Experience.
Probably one of the reasons we communicate.

WE deserve a Break ... LOL.

Just BE.
and
BE Accepted.

Apologize when we need to...
WITHOUT our opinion of self being put-out with the trash.

"God doesn't make JUNK."
Sometimes bad or wrong things happen that can cloud our judgment of 'who' we are, and 'what' our value could be??

Accept and Feed on the Nurturing
of your Best Self.

There are ample opportunities provided in this mundane world that can do the opposite.

YOU Choose, for YOU.
Steep in it.
Listen to feedback, yes, of all kinds.
But you judge, and Do it Kindly towards yourself,
and hopefully towards others.

{I'm glad you mentioned being out of the box as far as multi-racial and multi-religions go. Allows open resources.} *thumbsup*

(music) I Am A Promise! (children's song)
[1:43] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omIvJKnr4OA

*~

Wow, SO! You're in the career of finance?
That's awesome. You must have a brilliant mind!!

I'm glad the anti-depressant was able to be beneficial to you.

You need to regard ALSO-- at some point --
that your chart indicates you have a poetic artistic Muse; even a religion /philosophical mystical side, to you. {I'll generalize by calling it, comparing it to, Art.}

Math/finance is left-brained.
Art is part of the Humanities, Right-brained.

One day when ready, you might want to explore that.

Glad you will look into Volunteer work.
This will introduce you to others who have a Giving Heart.. like yours.

Take Good Care!

haha.. You can make YOU your 'new love interest', and Humanity as a Love interest. YOU have a part to play.

No matter how tiny, how small,
sometimes the smallest of things Blossom
and can bring Joy
and can Make A Difference.

*~ I got the 'feeling' to look up your placement ..
3001 Michelangelo Scorpio 5.32 H8, is conjunct your Scorpio Moon 2.01 H8, and Chiron Scorpio 1.53.

Today, asteroid Michelangelo transits Aries 19.07,
where
it conjuncts your 10 Hygeia Aries 19.05 H2

Hygeia is related to matters of Health,
which of course ties into our emotional-mental health and well-beingness.

H2 .. besides finances, has to do with one's Self Esteem. Saturn in your H2/H1cusp, might feel 'restricting' to you? Just, Be Aware of this as possible impediment, and instead "build" {a Saturn word} up a Healthy self-image {H1}, and in a forgiving, magnanimous self-picture, build and possess some good Self-Esteem {H2}.

The Universe really Cares about you!
PROOF?..
Brought you this message today,
through use of Care, Intuition, and Asteroids.

Michelangelo!!
You Are A Masterpiece.


And I pray and hope that ALL LL members and others who read this, will Benefit from this conversation.

I have 3001 Michelangelo in Aries at 9.22 H4.
conjunct 8990 Compassion Aries 9.06

HAVE a Compassionate View of your Self and Others.

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AQUACap88
Knowflake

Posts: 370
From: United Kingdom
Registered: Jun 2020

posted August 09, 2020 03:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for AQUACap88     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Michelangelo? Very interesting story! I also like the idea that we are all *work in progress* 😬😬

I saw it conjunct my Moon and Chiron!! (Woohoo 🥳 But when I saw the name <Michelangelo> I thought it's the arch angel Michael *protecting* me from my moon and pain haha. I guess its different? ✨✨

Yess I'm studying finance remember? 💓 I remember I have asteroid <Banks> conjunct my mercury and that was super cool! I just searched a random asteroid <Goven> and I saw it trines my Venus (2 degrees). Does this mean I can be a good, loving governor? Haha 💓💓

Aww I only have compassion 8990 in my 7th house trine Mercury 4 degrees. I guess I am not as compassionate T_T

Yes Mirage, you are the blessing.
You have cheered me up tremendously. Thank you ❤️❤️

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AQUACap88
Knowflake

Posts: 370
From: United Kingdom
Registered: Jun 2020

posted August 09, 2020 03:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for AQUACap88     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You say such wonderful things like

quote:
"No one is. We can ALL disappoint during off-times. It is not 'me' that you now look towards... it's the projection of the 'you' that you already are and want 'in your mind'. What you see in me, can be the mirror of you.

It is an imperfect mirror. We see through the glass darkly {quote}. There is an Ideal we can both have that we want to reach from our imperfect selves, but that 'imperfect self' is Divine and Planned and perfect as-is."


And I agree as well~ I'm not putting you on a pedestal >.< Because you are really kind and nice, I want to be someone like that... now and in the future when I am older. And as you are a lot older than me, you have all of my respect and admiration 😍 (maybe it's a culture thing LOL)

But I hope with everything I have that I can always remain the way I am presently and continue to want to care for others and be kind irregardless of the things I am going to face in the future. I can imagine it must be difficult, thats why I see the adults around me growing up resentful, bitter and unkind.

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mirage29
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posted August 10, 2020 02:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I love the things you've said!
I deeply appreciate the love and respect shown to elders by yourself, and by your Culture.

So Beautiful .. and nurturing.
Again --- You are a Blessing.

Can we 'clone' you???
Stay wonderful.
Have a Great Week.

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AQUACap88
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posted August 25, 2020 04:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AQUACap88     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Mirage 😭😭😭

I am confused whether I should apply for jobs in the private sector. I was so hell bent on taking masters then to work for the government because I want to do *meaningful* work and give back to the community instead of just being a money earning machine. However, because of Covid, my government has set up so many initiatives basically the labour market is flooded with jobs.

The thing is, those jobs were the reason why I entered and LOVE finance (even taking up another degree). They were why I literally eat breathe and even sleep (dream) finance... so looking at all of those job postings, knowing that I can fulfil all of their criteria easily (and competently since it is everything I have been TRAINING and WORKING for) is making me feel so... despondent?

I'm not sure what to do anymore.
Private (old passion) or masters then government (new passion) 😞😞😞

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AQUACap88
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posted August 25, 2020 05:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AQUACap88     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm looking at the 9months - 1 year attachment (traineeship) which commences late this year or early next January. It pays me 2.5k per month (which is very little because with my qualifications I can find a job that pays 3-4k, but these are really important roles in major banks which would never be available under any circumstances if not for my government's funding. Like my government basically agreed to pay 80% of the wages on behalf of them so 😩 .

My other option was to take the GMAT in December then start applying for schools next year January. And also scholarships. Face potential disapproval from my parents since that means they have to continue paying the interests on my student debts for me until I graduate etc. Theres a lot of uncertainty here... and possibly pain but I don't think I will be happy anywhere else (though who knows? I was SO in love with finance, I have no idea what changed! I just want to do meaningful work now).

It's a one year opportunity cost for me and I am so terrified of regretting my choice. I don't want to waste any more *years*...


&& *updates on my life to make you proud*
I volunteered last weekend and will continue to do so every weekend from now on! 😁 Basically my job is to deliver (on foot) packed food to the elderlies in my community. Its about 3 hours per session and it was the most fulfilling weekend I had in this year! My heart was so warmed 😩

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Randall
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posted August 26, 2020 12:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Congrats on your volunteering job.

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AQUACap88
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posted August 26, 2020 12:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AQUACap88     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
Congrats on your volunteering job.

Thank you so much Randall! I'm volunteering again on Saturday and Sunday and I am looking forward

BTW I remember that I commented on one of your comments about another female lawyer but I can't remember the thread so I couldn't follow up. Have things been fine?

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mirage29
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posted August 26, 2020 10:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
(Hi Aqua! .. almost done looking at things in your chart. Will comment soon.)

I love the fact that you have chosen to Give of your Time and Talents and Care to your community.

I had opened a link to Sabian symbols ..

This is what the degree of your Moon Scorpio 2+degrees says. Fits really well with your current endeavors.

NEIGHBORS HELP IN A HOUSE-RAISING PARTY IN A SMALL VILLAGE

This Symbol shows people coming together in order to commune and build and accomplish something.
Rather than going it alone, great things can be achieved if everyone works and pulls together.
It is by acting as a community, rather than as separate individuals, that difficult projects can be undertaken and completed.

Sharing oneís skills, resources, time, tools and experiences can build worthwhile community values and enduring friendships that enrich and reward the community.
Along with the labor, there will be time to share a drink, a meal and a chat, further drawing people into a sense of community and a shared purpose.
Co-operation. Parties. Considering the needs of people. Dormitories. Building bigger and better things. Matchmaking. Community halls. Helping hands. Homeless shelters.

.. You really Shine, Aqua.

- http://sabiansymbols.com/symbol-lookup/

________________________
Aug 28, 2020 Friday
Still digging into materials..
Almost there.

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AQUACap88
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posted August 28, 2020 04:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AQUACap88     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

Mirage!! I just saw your response. I thought you didn't respond T_T
Thank you >.<

I'm not sure what Sabian chart means but I'll be going to my volunteering again in another 12 hours

I'm really looking forward to it. I will update you! 💓

I think "The Caution: Taking advantage of group generosity. Refusing group endeavors. Bickering over who does what. Not trusting peopleís input. Shutting off from others."
Kind of hits home though!

I will try my best! ✨
Please continue to watch over me~~


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mirage29
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posted August 28, 2020 05:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I didn't forget you!!!

Actually, I've been digging very hard into your chart. Looking at the transits coming up for you ...

(Am a "student" of astrology, and I tend to get very detailed--- then I pull-back a bit to let what I found melt together. You are more than just a chart-- you're a beautiful human being TOO. I let the astrological get integrated with the human. )

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AQUACap88
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posted August 28, 2020 05:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AQUACap88     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by mirage29:
I didn't forget you!!!

Actually, I've been digging very hard into your chart. Looking at the transits coming up for you ...

(Am a "student" of astrology, and I tend to get very detailed--- then I pull-back a bit to let what I found melt together. You are more than just a chart-- you're a beautiful human being TOO. I let the astrological get integrated with the human. )



Awww thank you Mirage 😭
I'm still thinking of the path I should take next year.
I'm starting to feel like things might be coming together, the way they were supposed to be.

...

I have been thinking of suicide lately. Although it is not as bad as when I was much younger because at my age, I don't feel that I deserve the *easy* way out, that I should at least repay all my debts before dying. *Suicide* is too good for someone like me. I deserve much worse.
(PS I'm sorry if this is too dark >< )

I feel horrid yet tranquil at the same time. I know I am spiralling, but I'm really trying to my best to grasp onto whatever is available.
I just don't know what's in front of me. I guess the only thing I can look forward to is my Jupiter Return on 29 Dec

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mirage29
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posted August 28, 2020 07:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
There have been some rougher transits in these past weeks, and for this weekend.

I've heard of people saying they've been in a 'funk' that don't normally go-there.

Hold your ground.
Wait a while.

____________________

You've been taking that antidepressant for almost a month now?

One of the SIDE-EFFECTS of antidepressants CAN BE having "suicidal thoughts and feelings."

My best friend in early 2000s had been taking antidepressants BEFORE the scientists made the discovery that many persons took their lives unnecessarily BECAUSE of the SIDE-EFFECTS of some of these newer anti-depressants that came on the market.

People who are in YOUR AGE bracket are most-vulnerable to those suicidal effects.

Your country MUST have good pharmaceutical researchers and psychiatrists who are on top of these findings.

ONLY take those antidepressant under the SUPERVISION of a "trained" and COMPETENT credentialed physician. Don't be taking one of your relative's left-over prescriptions.. to tie you over with your exam-period.

See a qualified DOCTOR.... Tell them that you're feeling this way again.

COULD BE THE DRUGS.

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mirage29
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posted August 29, 2020 08:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by AQUACap88:

Awww thank you Mirage 😭
I'm still thinking of the path I should take next year.
I'm starting to feel like things might be coming together, the way they were supposed to be.

. . .

I just don't know what's in front of me. I guess the only thing I can look forward to is my Jupiter Return on 29 Dec


Woke up this morning thinking about you.
You'll be experiencing Saturn entering your 12th House. And with the transits you'll be having to your planets there in the first part of that house for you, there is an opportunity for you to finalize what you need for truly planting and planning what you want to do. You have some POWERFUL planets there at the start of Aquarius.. and they are in harmony with your Mars in the 8th. IN that place in your 12th, Saturn can HELP you with any kind of impulse control you would have. It can be your friend, and be an assistant to help 'define' what in the past when you were less-mature "would" have been more destructive to you.

Just because you're having those thoughts, DOESN't mean you have to act on it at all!!!

What I saw about you this morning is that you search for something in the past to use for a future that is yet-unknown to you.

You are in a brand new decade for your life.
It is NOT like your adolescence.
It's a time when you DO have an Open Door to your freedom.

When you have unfinished things in your unconscious, when Saturn or other planets move through your 12th, you'll have the opportunity to REALLY settle those things. Maybe it comes up as 'an energy' .. and you try to 'label' it according to things you had known in the past. But ... it's power. It's energy to be redirected to a vision or imagination of what you truly WANT to happen "FOR" your life.

Perhaps {once you settle that possible side-effect of med} .. you are nervous about your GOOD Future ahead of you? It's something you have NEVER experienced before. TRUST that nervousness can also be defined as Excitement. No need to turn it in on self. The door is OPEN, and you can find yourself. Have a new definition of your self.

I truly understand what having had adverse things happen to you during tender times of life can imprint pains. .. Your pain is real. .. And, the pain that you've had can help you have a special sensitivity for others who have been through something like-that too. You deserve hugs, and people having their arm around your shoulder to give you comfort. Doing bad things to your self may drive them away... is that what you want? .. NO. Let others 'be' with you in your pain, and inside, you 'be' with your painself and allow the Comfort to reach and Heal that part of you too. 'Receiving' the Comfort from others, helps YOU have more power to Heal the Deeps inside you. Let the Comfort FROM others, TEACH YOU how to comfort your own self.

So.. I think it's a Blessing that you're going to have Saturn coming through to help you smooth-over any impulsive kinds of energies. USE that feeling of Saturn's heavier-blanket be like one of those Comfort blankets used on children who need security.

Seriously... heheh. I am NOT a fan of Saturn!! ... But in YOUR case, it may act as a godsend to you.

You need to kind of come to a resolve.
Resolve to be Alive!! Set that Default.
When you have something-off in you that says otherwise? NOPE.
Choose Life.

. . .
I have to give my time on computer back to my roommate right now.

Gotta go.

Choose what you wish your INSIDE to feel like. Whether you 'feel' it or not right now. Whether you have blips of not feeling 100% or not. Choose your inside. THEN, let's build the Picture of what you want your life to look like on the OUTSIDE of you.

And.... There's a difference between receiving comfort that adds to sick-behaviors and sustains in you sick-behaviors, from receiving Comfort that says you are "all right" and having some bad days that will expire.

Find people in your life who are PRO-Future.
Who Believe in you.

I see GOOD THINGS for you.
I see some of these transits you will have as a Positive that can help, and Heal.

So much Love!
_________________________________
no whole quotes

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