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Author
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Topic: Thin Line Between Love & Hate...
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LeeLoo2014
Knowflake Posts: 16970
From: Venus cornering Neptune
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted October 02, 2015 01:29 PM
  
I am very sorry  Well, astrologically speaking, something very interesting is happening in your synastry. Your Mars is highly aspected, probably the most aspected planet in there; which means your Mars is overactive with this guy; his however, an angular Mars in Leo (because of NN conj) yet a problematic Mars: on a threshold to Virgo, saturated with Leo energy, yet RX and conj Jupiter dragging him to Virgo and sq Scorpio Uranus, also Rx, making this person with a high level of aggression manifested in unusual ways and completed by Aries Moon opp Pluto,as added energy, prone to resentment, jealousy, competitiveness, hateful excessive emotional reactions sometimes (which you must have too) and everything you describe there manifesting in unusual ways (such as unexpected bouts, passive aggressiveness etc), so this Mars receives no aspects whatsover; although your Venus is an energy he likes, your Mars isn't, and this same overactive Mars fuels your Moon Pluto opp and his Sun opp Saturn and it falls in his 1st; the whole combination, especially because of his Mars not being aspected, creates an antagonism (it makes him want to compensate and he already has huge compensatory behavior markers in his chart). Like others said before, you are pushing wrong buttons for each other. ------------------
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms... AstroMandala New Profiles IP: Logged |
downtomars
Knowflake Posts: 1355
From: NY
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 02, 2015 01:43 PM
Thank you LeeLoo,I think maybe I was too passive for him? He asked me once "Why do you second guess things?" and I thought it was interesting that he noticed that already, because I tend to do that. I don't know. I thought our Moon-Mars trine in our individual charts along iwth a DW Moon-Mars sextile would help. I guess the bad over powered the good... IP: Logged |
Aubyanne
Moderator Posts: 6237
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted October 02, 2015 01:49 PM
quote:
Originally posted by downtomars:
It is just odd...
Ooh. I agree. That's ... I don't like the sound of those things at all. They just strike me ... wrong. Something's not right there. I don't think you really know this guy, DTM. You may have dodged a bullet. IP: Logged |
LeeLoo2014
Knowflake Posts: 16970
From: Venus cornering Neptune
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted October 02, 2015 01:52 PM
Actually, I take it back, he likes a planet there, where your Mars is; what I mean is that due to the lack of proper aspects to his own Mars (your right, there is a Moon Mars sextile astro doesn't show) and so many to yours, he feels he can't express his male energy properly with you, and he already has issues with that in his natal chart.
That's a guy who would love a Taurus or Aqua Venus.
Still, your charts are not bad and the composite is very connected  except that I don't like to see such an angular Mars, and in late Leo, unaspected. He can't express it properly with you.IP: Logged |
LeeLoo2014
Knowflake Posts: 16970
From: Venus cornering Neptune
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted October 02, 2015 01:59 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Ooh. I agree. That's ... I don't like the sound of those things at all. They just strike me ... wrong. Something's not right there. I don't think you really know this guy, DTM. You may have dodged a bullet.
And I second what Auby says...how well do you know each other? A whole weekend on the first date? wow my Saturn conj DSC is like: how can people do that?  almost in awe! hahahaha I don't know how this can be done, seriously Probably someone met online right? because of my chart, I am so far away from these things and in such cases I always ask myself: why the rush? IP: Logged |
downtomars
Knowflake Posts: 1355
From: NY
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 02, 2015 02:09 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Aubyanne:
I don't think you really know this guy, DTM. You may have dodged a bullet.
Funny you should say that... He showed me his 4 guns (rifles) and taught me how to load and handle them. We were supposed to go the the gun range later that day, but other things got in the way (mainly each other)... quote:
Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Actually, I take it back, he likes a planet there, where your Mars is; what I mean is that due to the lack of proper aspects to his own Mars (your right, there is a Moon Mars sextile astro doesn't show) and so many to yours, he feels he can't express his male energy properly with you, and he already has issues with that in his natal chart.
About Mars... I notice that he loved to teach me masculine things - ax wielding, tire and oil changing, gun use and safety. This is all very interesting. Maybe because he feels my healthy Mars he thinks "Why isn't she using this?"... Everything about him is highly Martian... He is a military guy - was in ROTC in high school, joined the Marines after graduation, went to Iraq and then attended college and got his bachelors and masters degrees. A couple of years ago he enlisted in the Army Reserves because he missed the cameraderie he felt in the military and it helped him pay for his home. He talks about it all of the time and he is very proud of his military career, as he should be. However...He doesn't sleep. He is very restless when he does sleep for the 4-5 hours he sleeps in the daytime and he shakes his leg the entire time. When I asked him about it he said "I was always an insomniac, and then Iraq, of course..." He downplays the PTSD symptoms, which is not good. He was a special education teacher (which is what really got to me, because my brother has autism) up until a month ago. He left his job because of issues with his (female) principal. There is even an article about it in the NY Post (I would post it here, but, privacy...then again, I still might)... He has mentioned a lot of issues he has had with women. Now there's me, another woman that has "wronged" him... IP: Logged |
Aubyanne
Moderator Posts: 6237
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted October 02, 2015 03:06 PM
I'm really sorry to have to ask this; it almost feels like trolling, but my 'spidey senses' are tingling through the roof.Are you positive he isn't psychopathic? The only way to honestly tell is through time. Otherwise, all manner of emotional predators -- as well as simply those on the psychopathic spectrum who haven't worked through their particularly damning issues -- are so bloody charming from the onset. You'd never, ever know the deep-seated issues with empathy. The military is a hotbed for them, as well. As is any sort of law enforcement career, sad to say. It's actually why my boyfriend left (the Army). He could tell they had just the type of personality they were looking for, and that worried him deeply. Interesting enough, psychopaths and schizoids can seem very similar; we both have issues with empathy, but schizoids are principled, while psychopaths are flying blind, and seeking the next high in some form or another. That's why they tend to be high-stimulus seekers. I won't drone on and on -- but I am concerned. IP: Logged |
downtomars
Knowflake Posts: 1355
From: NY
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 02, 2015 03:27 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Aubyanne:
I'm really sorry to have to ask this; it almost feels like trolling, but my 'spidey senses' are tingling through the roof.Are you positive he isn't psychopathic?
Honestly, the way he responded to me after I (gently) confronted him had me concerned. It was like he didn't remember who I was or how much time we'd spent together. It was very eerie actually. He's got a lot of things going on though... He wants to go to law school. Why? Because he wants to be an advocate for "father's rights" in the abortion decision. Why? Because three years ago his girlfriend of one year, had an abortion (would have been his child). Or, as he puts it "THAT B***H KILLED MY BABY!" Yeah, he is a little on edge. Sadly, this is not the first time I have dealt with psychopathic and sociopathic men. I don't know what it is about me. Actually, I might. I actually put up with more than most and I write things off as "quirky" and "interesting" and think that these things give a guy "edge" instead of realizing that these are major red flags. I just don't want a "boring" guy. I have to realize that a guy can be exciting in a healthy way, not just an "odd" way. I always seem to draw depressed men to me, I am like a lightning rod for oddballs (Aqua AC & Uranus conjunct MC)... IP: Logged |
downtomars
Knowflake Posts: 1355
From: NY
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 02, 2015 03:37 PM
quote:
...so bloody charming from the onset. You'd never, ever know the deep-seated issues with empathy.
Wow, I actually thought he had a Leo rising because he would pour on the charm and it was incredible to me (with my 7th house Leo). We would kiss and then he would say "Why are you so beautiful?" and he would sigh and hum like kissing me was the best thing in the world. I ate it up, of course. I did feel that it wasn't entirely genuine, you know, but it just felt so good to be "loved" like that. He opened doors - car doors, building doors - and paid for everything, even bought me gas when we used my car for something. However... He is not only a special education teacher, and a (green, lol) Army man, but he's an actor. His bachelors degree is in theater and it's from a fairly prominent school for actors. Geez, there is so much here that is off...
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Aubyanne
Moderator Posts: 6237
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted October 02, 2015 04:01 PM
I'm an ex-criminologist -- 'profiler' in common parlance. I was an interviewer for a DOJ violent offender study back during my formal education, prior to studying with the FBI Academy via a specific programme.I ended up in that work not because I 'wanted' to, but more that something was driving me; some part of my life which I had to resolve. I met all sorts of people during that time -- and even before it. Nonetheless, it led me to study with some of the top experts on psychopathy and homicide -- not always together, mind. Back in college, when I met my first mentor (an ex-Bureau pathologist and hostage negotiator for CIRG-NCAVC) he told me that profilers are born, not made, and I had the innate sense. So, see that for what it is, but I feel that you absolutely spared yourself a LOT of pain by only 'touching off' of this man. If you can, it's best that you move on as quickly as you're able. I endured 4 years of something that should've been 4 months. But, hey, that's karma. I like to believe, though, that our free-will can be stronger. Too many things -- way too many things -- are red-flags from what I'm seeing in regards to your short relationship, and his behaviour. This is the sort of individual that has strong potential of becoming violent, and even engaging in stalking behaviours. I don't think it's truly been long enough for him to add you to the list of 'women who've wronged him'. That was the ultimate trigger with Bundy too, actually. (I did his profile for my final thesis; there's a lot of his history I know -- uncomfortably -- by heart.) It all really started because of the deep issues he felt regarding betrayal with women. Man, THAT's a chart to study, no? IP: Logged |
LeeLoo2014
Knowflake Posts: 16970
From: Venus cornering Neptune
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted October 02, 2015 04:09 PM
Maybe it's too soon to turn him into the Killer Clown, but I can only give this advice: do not become intimate too soon. Take some time to know each other, to see them in various circumstances: with people, their family, animals, children, work, when they are stressed out, tired, happy, unhappy, if you are looking for a relationship, and all this BEFORE becoming intimate. Men and women are always charming on first dates....or pretending to be. Men, especially, since they are compelled by society to "conquer" the lady will give their best shot. That is not the time to become intimate with someone, first dates.------------------
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms... AstroMandala New Profiles IP: Logged |
downtomars
Knowflake Posts: 1355
From: NY
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 02, 2015 04:13 PM
We did not become intimate until the 4th date. We just happened to have 4 dates within two weeks!I do agree though, things moved very quickly and I should have been more cautious. I think the outcome would have been the same, I just would have gotten more free meals, more manly skills and been more hurt. IP: Logged |
LeeLoo2014
Knowflake Posts: 16970
From: Venus cornering Neptune
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted October 02, 2015 04:55 PM
I wrote something for you on my thread.IP: Logged |
Aubyanne
Moderator Posts: 6237
From: Tinseltown, Hollyweird, The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted October 02, 2015 07:23 PM
quote:
Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Maybe it's too soon to turn him into the Killer Clown ...
You totally misunderstand me. (And that was Gacy.)  It's more that he's got my alarm bells going off, and, in the long-term, psychopaths make tough partners. That's why they tend to move fast, and 'love bomb' and all that rot. IP: Logged |
EmGem
Knowflake Posts: 968
From:
Registered: Jan 2015
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posted October 02, 2015 08:05 PM
quote:
Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
Ohhh man... i totally understand. When i love someone and sleep with them i usually also would like to have babies... It just makes sense! Can i recommend something preliminary? get deeply in touch with your body in a meditation context--anywhere and anyhow you feel totally relaxed, in solitude, at peace. Have a good talk with your inner being about that--you and your body aren't really separate entities, and you can affect what happens through the power of thought and deep connection. Know that you have the power of choice here because you aren't at the mercy of the forces of the universe; it is really conspiring to help you (maybe you want dweeby babies! But there are other ways, in case you don't, and fostering and adopting, working with children in various contexts, and meeting a person who isn't totally intolerable are all beautiful options )
IP: Logged |
LeeLoo2014
Knowflake Posts: 16970
From: Venus cornering Neptune
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted October 02, 2015 08:12 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Aubyanne:
You totally misunderstand me. (And that was Gacy.) It's more that he's got my alarm bells going off, and, in the long-term, psychopaths make tough partners. That's why they tend to move fast, and 'love bomb' and all that rot.
I know what you mean, Auby, I felt that too, those alarms but I dunno, maybe the guy has had a rough life and needs to be given a chance. I often ignore my alarm clock and try to be fair. Of course, it never works, and my initial alarm proves to be right in all cases, but...I keep trying IP: Logged |
EmGem
Knowflake Posts: 968
From:
Registered: Jan 2015
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posted October 02, 2015 08:16 PM
^^ I think you speak for a lot of females there leeloo  IP: Logged |
llewsacm
Knowflake Posts: 191
From: Cleveland, Ohio USA
Registered: Mar 2015
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posted October 02, 2015 08:23 PM
Idk...becoming condescending towards you while teaching you how to do something for the first time (the axe)? I can see why you wanted to f-bomb him! Just think of what could happen as time goes on...IP: Logged |
downtomars
Knowflake Posts: 1355
From: NY
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 02, 2015 11:06 PM
A couple of people have brought up that he might have been "jealous" or "intimidated" by me. I thought that was weird because I think (thought) he's wonderful and I would get shy and clam up around him because I thought he was so smart, handsome and sexy (he's 6'4", blonde, those huge Neptunian blue-green eyes - he refers to himself as a "viking" a lot, lol). Plus he talks to everyone, is a little loud, wild and goofy (um...obnoxious, okay, lol) and he makes sure he is always the center of attention, all while keeping that Midwestern "aww shucks" thing...However...I am a Leo and a pretty decent looking one at that (5'10", curvy) and I have a shy, goofy charm. I get attention without asking for it. He even told me that when his cousin saw me he gave him a thumbs up behind my back. On our second date, our waiter asked for my i.d. and then went on and on about how young I looked. He joined in, but then made sure he was the focus of the rest of the night. I really stood behind him and let him take center stage...So, I can see that. He's the "actor" who majored in theater and I'm just this chick who doesn't say much, but gets attention too. IP: Logged |
downtomars
Knowflake Posts: 1355
From: NY
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 02, 2015 11:32 PM
quote:
Originally posted by llewsacm:
Idk...becoming condescending towards you while teaching you how to do something for the first time (the axe)? I can see why you wanted to f-bomb him! Just think of what could happen as time goes on...
For some reason I was willing to cater to him though. Maybe a Pluto pull?
IP: Logged |
downtomars
Knowflake Posts: 1355
From: NY
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 02, 2015 11:33 PM
quote:
Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
I know what you mean, Auby, I felt that too, those alarms but I dunno, maybe the guy has had a rough life and needs to be given a chance. I often ignore my alarm clock and try to be fair. Of course, it never works, and my initial alarm proves to be right in all cases, but...I keep trying
Exactly! This guy managed to fool me initially though. It's a little unsettling. IP: Logged |
downtomars
Knowflake Posts: 1355
From: NY
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 02, 2015 11:35 PM
quote:
Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
Can i recommend something preliminary? get deeply in touch with your body in a meditation context--anywhere and anyhow you feel totally relaxed, in solitude, at peace. Have a good talk with your inner being about that--you and your body aren't really separate entities, and you can affect what happens through the power of thought and deep connection. Know that you have the power of choice here because you aren't at the mercy of the forces of the universe; it is really conspiring to help you (maybe you want dweeby babies! But there are other ways, in case you don't, and fostering and adopting, working with children in various contexts, and meeting a person who isn't totally intolerable are all beautiful options )
Thank you! I needed to hear that... IP: Logged |
Christianb
Knowflake Posts: 60
From: Australia
Registered: Aug 2015
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posted October 03, 2015 05:56 AM
Hi downtomars I would love
To know how you posted this your charts onto here IP: Logged |
Soltze
Knowflake Posts: 1076
From:
Registered: Mar 2015
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posted October 03, 2015 06:21 AM
Doesn't sound like a good guy at all...getting too involved too fast is never good. I've done that and it ended up badly.I didn't have Chiron-Venus in my case...it was Chiron-Mars...I was Mars. It was nasty. Take care IP: Logged |
DopGang
Knowflake Posts: 1454
From: The land of WP
Registered: Jun 2015
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posted October 03, 2015 06:30 AM
Sorry this isn't astrological but geez he sounds very immature.
The anger is a decoy to have you deal with his anger rather than the wrong that he did. (Essentially a change of subject) IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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