posted October 03, 2015 08:14 AM            

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Originally posted by DopGang:
Sorry this isn't astrological but geez he sounds very immature.
The anger is a decoy to have you deal with his anger rather than the wrong that he did. (Essentially a change of subject)

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YES! He tried to blame me from the start and I actually said to him "Have you ever heard of the term 'gaslighting'?" Because, sadly, I've dealt with emotionally and verbally abusive men before and that's what they do. He did it immediately after I confronted him, a sign of things to come.

It's very odd because I confronted him very calmly (Moon in Libra trine Mars in Gemini) and stated the facts, no cursing, false accusations. I just said "So, I see you are still browsing on _____..." and it turned into this! He immediately got angry and said "OH! So no 'how was your weekend?'!" (he was away helping his family work on his brother's house). I then said "We texted during the weekend, I know it went well". Then he started complaining about how I don't answer the phone when he calls - "I called you on Thursday and you couldn't talk because you were sleeping and yesterday you didn't answer!"...So, what he's saying is, he updated his online profile because I was too busy (sleeping) to answer my phone, even though I texted him saying what I was doing (driving) the other day?

To this day, he has not explained why he was back online. Guess he feels he doesn't have to...

I'd like to explain why putting the profile up was a big deal:

So, after three wonderful dates we ended up in his bedroom. Heavy petting ensued. I was hesitant about taking the big step (clothes fully intact).

Very sweetly and sympathetically he says "What are your concerns?"

I said "Well, without a commitment, men will just say 'well, we were just friends, sorry' after they get what they want..."

He said "Well, I'm not talking to or seeing anyone else but you and I don't want to, how about you?"

I said "Neither do I..."

Making out continued, BUT we still didn't take the next step (I applaud my self-control)...

So the next morning we were cuddling (I slept over - he hardly got any sleep - PTSD) and he got a text from someone on Ebay (he was picking something up). I noticed that he had three dating apps on his phone, didn't say anything, I just obviously noticed. So, he said "I don't need these anymore!" and deleted the apps. I know that deleting the apps don't delete profiles BUT, a couple of days later, I checked the site we met on and his profile was deleted! I was very happy to see that, so I deleted mine.

Then, after our great weekend, we spent Tuesday night into Wednesday together. He was acting a little strangely. I am very sensitive to other people's moods, so I felt like something was up. I let it go though, until the weekend. I just had that gut feeling, and it made me turn my profile on to see if his was up again. It was, and it was updated. So, I couldn't even talk myself into believing it was a glitch of some sort, so I had to say something about it...

posted October 03, 2015 08:32 AM            

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Originally posted by Soltze:
Doesn't sound like a good guy at all...getting too involved too fast is never good. I've done that and it ended up badly.

I didn't have Chiron-Venus in my case...it was Chiron-Mars...I was Mars. It was nasty. Take care

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posted October 03, 2015 12:09 PM            

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Originally posted by stillatlarge:
Just do what I do and stalk em for a few months first. LOL. I've been spared more heartache and humiliation, I'm sure, due to hiding in the bushes for a while. I highly recommend it. I watch and learn everything I can about someone first so not only do I see any red flags but I know better what they like/dislike and it reduces false starts, awkwardness, etc. Credit my Cancerian Venus/Mars in the 12th.

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I am very stalky also (Pluto in the 8th)! I knew where he lived (even saw a house tour), saw his sister and found the article about his job issues in the NY Post before I met him. My sister said the article should have been a red flag (she, a Taurus, hated him before I even met him). That's the problem, I see the red flags and I ignore them.

posted October 03, 2015 12:11 PM            

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
You mean he put back his profile after you slept with him?

Oh, no, that is just too...creepy crappy nasty standard. Please tell me I'm wrong, it's so depressing

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Yes, that's what he did. He put on a whole show so he could sleep with me, since I am "a good girl"... "What are your concerns?" I think about him saying that over and over and it makes me want to punch him in the face!(Sorry, a bit of anger lingers...)

posted October 03, 2015 12:25 PM            

It's your fault too. If you want a relationship you should approach things differently, such as taking time to know the person, share your lives first, become friends, connect as humans. This kind of first dates + cuddling out of nowhere + sex, wham bam thank you mam is the 70s already.

posted October 03, 2015 12:42 PM            

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Pathetic I hope to live to see that day when people become something else and stop using other people to get off.

It's your fault too. If you want a relationship you should approach things differently, such as taking time to know the person, share your lives first, become friends, connect as humans. This kind of first dates + cuddling out of nowhere + sex, wham bam thank you mam is the 70s already.

We are making the standards, no one is making trends for us unless we let it happen.

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Okey doke. His behavior ("wham, bam, thank you ma'am") different from what I am used to actually. I have had relationships where intimacy came fairly quickly and we ended up in long term relationships. It's really the luck of the draw, and I got the Joker this time, or the instructions card even, lol.

I have had bad luck with men for the past year though, which is odd because tSaturn is trine my Venus and DC and sextile my AC. I thought long term came from that transit, but...

posted October 03, 2015 01:01 PM            

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Originally posted by Aubyanne:
When anyone is saying the word 'gaslighting' in regards to the behaviour one or the other may be engaged in -- it's time for a serious head check.

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I realize I can be dramatic, but I had the strangest feeling. He was talking to me like we never met before and as if I did something wrong to him just by asking a question.

posted October 03, 2015 01:18 PM            

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Originally posted by downtomars:
Yes, that's what he did. He put on a whole show so he could sleep with me, since I am "a good girl"... "What are your concerns?" I think about him saying that over and over and it makes me want to punch him in the face!(Sorry, a bit of anger lingers...)

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::cough:: psychop -- ::cough::

Oh. Sorry, there. Something was in my throat. Like the truth.

posted October 03, 2015 02:18 PM            

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Originally posted by Aubyanne:
::cough:: psychop -- ::cough::

Oh. Sorry, there. Something was in my throat. Like the truth.

So far, EVERYTHING fits. It sounds like a classic case. It's even giving me a few 'nostalgic' memories of my ex, which -- wow. I'm so glad THAT's over.

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I have been reading some articles and yes, I can see it clearly now. I am still pretty sad though.

posted October 03, 2015 07:58 PM            

Like others have mentioned, it sounds to me like this is just a case of a relationship progressing too fast - it seems as though you two didn't really know too much about one another and began making assumptions only to be surprised/feel betrayed when those assumptions proved to be false. Aspects between charts alone are not going to account for this and studying someone's chart/your synastry before the relationship is really established isn't going to give you the whole picture either. It is predicated by personal patterns in relationships and how well each person has mastered the energy of their own chart.

I am a firm believer that we are constantly attracting the experiences we need to move forward - negative and positive. Instead of getting upset, try to let go of your expectations and hurt. Try to search for insight into your own patterns and use that information to grow from this experience. If you can't look at it (or yourself) through the lens of an un-biased observer, then let it go and come back to it when the emotions pass. It's much easier to hurl insults behind this man's back and unite forces against him in some kind of modern "witch hunt" than it is to look deeply within yourself and evaluate how your expectations and actions might have contributed to the unfortunate outcome.

I'm in no way going to defend a man I have never met nor condemn him based on the anecdotal evidence you've provided like some. I will instead point out that you yourself said that you were aware he was dealing with some deeply personal issues on all levels and that you pursued a relationship with him in spite of all that. In that case, why did you believe those issues wouldn't present themselves in some form or another in your relationship - especially in the beginning? If a dog has a history of attacking and biting people, would you run up to pet him if you were afraid of getting bit?

I would absolutely NEVER advocate that anyone pursue a relationship with someone who treated them poorly, but knowing what you know about him why wouldn't you try to approach him with compassion - especially when you claim to really like him and "understand" his issues? If he still lashed out and acted like an ass it would be obvious he isn't ready to let all that pain and anger go - and in that case the best thing for both parties would be to respect your own personal needs and gracefully walk away. He's obviously in a very dark place mentally and emotionally. I think the healthy thing to do in this situation is to accept that you knowingly took a chance on someone who is likely not ready to be a good partner to anyone and let it go rather than search for reasons to justify the mad shade you're throwing his way.

posted October 03, 2015 09:40 PM            

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Originally posted by EmGem:
You know what? Yeah it does have a bad rap. And I'd be careful to be so negative and hopeless about having a planet Chiron conjunction. There's a reason Chiron is there. I refuse to believe it means the end of things forever between two people. It needs to be handled with care and openness. If you can do that, then I believe Chiron relstionships have the potential for deep transformation.

I suffered a fallout recently maybe because of her Chiron conjunct my Mercury but now we are both wanting to make our friendship work again.
Each and every soul is different.

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its true every soul is different. my parents have strong chiron in synastry (CONJUNCTIONS) and they've gone through the hardest times together (abuse,alcoholism) you name it.....but they are still together and have a family business together and still a team for over 40 years.

but they have reallllllyyy fated marital contacts in synastry its crazy....

posted October 03, 2015 09:44 PM            

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Originally posted by downtomars:
I have been reading some articles and yes, I can see it clearly now. I am still pretty sad though.

What I don't get - why threaten with a lawsuit? I thought psychopaths and narcissists didn't care and would easily just say "so long, girl", why drag this out?

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Attention. Drah-mah. They're addicted to drama.

Here's my main concern. The fact that he, as you said, 'dove back in', but putting his profile back up. It seems like triangulating. I could, of course, be mistaken. But if he suddenly vanishes, you can get he's done, done, onto the next one ....

IF that's the case, I have an extra special level of hatred for these guys. ... and pity. Because, let's face it -- they're deeply miserable. Psycho-path. Soul-pathos. 'Soul suffering'.

posted October 03, 2015 09:59 PM            

Again, I'm really sorry if I came off harsh - it's not my intention to make you feel bad at all. I was just kind of upset by a few of the other ridiculous comments on this thread more-so than your situation.

posted October 04, 2015 03:27 AM            

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Originally posted by FmVenusWLove:
@Downtomars - Trust me, I do totally understand where you're coming from and can empathize. It really sucks when you recognize romantic potential in someone but it's obscured by that level of pain - I mean, you just can't help but want to do something about it. I can tell that you really liked him and my heart goes out to you right now

Again, I'm really sorry if I came off harsh - it's not my intention to make you feel bad at all. I was just kind of upset by a few of the other ridiculous comments on this thread more-so than your situation.

I think in these moments it's important to remember that your situation is unique to you and falling into the all-to-common pattern of anger, hatred, and name-calling is only going to make YOU feel worse and trap you in a negative state. Your chart looks so positive and "bright". It looks like you're full of beautiful, fun energy and I think that if you keep channeling that and also remember to respect your own personal needs and limitations (i.e. stand up for yourself when jerks treat you poorly - Based on some of your placements I'm guessing you tend to be self-effacing in relationships or more often than not sacrifice yourself in some way to "keep the peace") you will attract a more positive relationship into your life. I mean come on, Leo women were made to be worshiped If you believe it and project that you will invite a more grounded man who just might spoil you rather than someone who isn't able to give you the love you're seeking.

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posted October 04, 2015 06:53 AM            

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Originally posted by Sylven:
Venus opp Uranus?! BAM, electric and the like and then BAM totally changing.

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Yes, and that's his Venus. My Venus is trine his Uranus so I just thought we would continue this "electric feel" relationship and do wacky things (changing tires?) together...

posted October 04, 2015 07:15 AM            

------------------
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

AstroMandala

posted October 04, 2015 02:07 PM            

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Originally posted by Aubyanne:
I'm an ex-criminologist -- 'profiler' in common parlance. I was an interviewer for a DOJ violent offender study back during my formal education, prior to studying with the FBI Academy via a specific programme.

I ended up in that work not because I 'wanted' to, but more that something was driving me; some part of my life which I had to resolve. I met all sorts of people during that time -- and even before it. Nonetheless, it led me to study with some of the top experts on psychopathy and homicide -- not always together, mind.

Back in college, when I met my first mentor (an ex-Bureau pathologist and hostage negotiator for CIRG-NCAVC) he told me that profilers are born, not made, and I had the innate sense.

So, see that for what it is, but I feel that you absolutely spared yourself a LOT of pain by only 'touching off' of this man. If you can, it's best that you move on as quickly as you're able. I endured 4 years of something that should've been 4 months.

But, hey, that's karma. I like to believe, though, that our free-will can be stronger.

Too many things -- way too many things -- are red-flags from what I'm seeing in regards to your short relationship, and his behaviour. This is the sort of individual that has strong potential of becoming violent, and even engaging in stalking behaviours. I don't think it's truly been long enough for him to add you to the list of 'women who've wronged him'.

That was the ultimate trigger with Bundy too, actually. (I did his profile for my final thesis; there's a lot of his history I know -- uncomfortably -- by heart.) It all really started because of the deep issues he felt regarding betrayal with women. Man, THAT's a chart to study, no?

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Anyway, I thoroughly agree with Auby here. I have pluto in 7th aspected almost everything in my chart. So as I read you thread, all I can think of is RUN FOR LIFE.

This guy seems to be someone who can be intelligent enough to get through lots of hoops. I dont know who chooses to teach someone else that much about weaponry and machinery after the first 2 weeks; his sense of vindication and revenge for someone's act, albeit his ex might arguably do something to hurt him, but to go to school all the way for one thing because he feels personally wronged is quite abnormal.

Good lord, and I know lots of oddies for my age.

You need to look at your natal issues and his natal issues before going forward with the synastry and composite.