posted October 28, 2016 11:02 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
I think there is a kind of separation from another person that can prove particularly devastating.

Not sure why it should be the case.

Aubyanne, so you have "Union" ...would this TF rhetoric be any more valuable to you if you and your man had to be apart?

---

I do think that it's helpful when you're otherwise at a distance, unable to communicate fully, or there are lots of questions, and fears you 'might lose them' or 'they might run'. I think my boyfriend, costar #1, offered me enough mutuality, and early enough on, that I never really found myself worrying about that -- but I may be completely misremembering just how insane that time was, as it was years ago now. And once we became official, and stuck to it, certain parts of it have been a done deal.

Now, costar #2 is proving a different story. SO much of the same, but totally lacking any certainty whatsoever. For him, I've almost had to 'rely upon' other means: the astrology, the 'nature' of the TF connexion and variability of the relationship, and so on. Like, 'just keep doing what you've got to do and have faith.' That sort of thing. Learning to just ... trust. Which is HARD.

I came here to 'reunite' with two other individuals to clear the karmic record, fulfill my destiny, and achieve professional success. I met the one in January 2010, the other, September 2016.

... how's it only barely been a month? :: shaking head :: Anyway.

posted October 28, 2016 11:19 AM            

Did you break up with the Cancer?

*prying*

posted October 28, 2016 12:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
I don't understand.

Did you break up with the Cancer?

*prying*

---

Oh, goodness, no. His mother hates me, because how dare anyone inspire him to have a life of his own! but he's slowly but surely coming to accept the depths of his abusive childhood, how it continues, since she's never renegotiated their relationship, and actually stand up for himself.

We're all planning to 'retire' to Dallas, once we've done what's necessary in LA, so he went home with me to shoot with Kevin, one of my original costars from the audio drama, who broke down the pilot with me in 2007, prior to my relocating. He's since become a filmmaker in his own right. So, while there, he directed and filmed us, Jack stayed with me and 'met the parents' and all that rot. He had 'The Talk' with my father which he reported went very well. With a kind of mixed emotion, he admitted that 'they really do not like [your husband].' But, for reasons that EVERYBODY knows, which we've been steadily sorting through.

It got pretty close there, about ... two months ago, right around the eclipse, though. My husband really pushed Jack's buttons, and he surprised everyone by reacting with an equally potent manipulation -- and I got thrown into the middle of it all. He apologised, later admitting it WAS a manipulation, and that he 'really shouldn't be pushed like that'. I reminded him that it hurt ME the most, and he took that into account.

But what it really did was release a lot of energy that had been unintentionally and unconsciously locked in my husband. In 15 years, you can create a lot of story, and have some extremely developed characters. These are now practically 'personality types' in their own strange right, and I've come to realise that my own life has been 'populated' by them.

I was mistaken as to 'who' my husband is -- what energy he most reflects and is a match for. He absolutely seemed one thing, but that isn't the case -- and it's never really been. But it took his dynamics and bizarre relationship with Jack for me to see it.

Then it ALL clicked.

After that, the REAL one was able to finally come through. My costar. He's basically got 75% of Jack's chart, and was born 1 month after my husband.

How's THAT for 'a match' ?

I discounted the depth of our connexion and potential for a real relationship at the get-go, because I was thinking in too-limiting terms. If I don't feel romantic, but there's insane sexual chemistry, then I don't feel 'relationshippy'. Instead, I was completely missing the fact that he'd make a fantastic producing partner.

That would then allow me to heal the wound from THAT guy, my ex-producing partner -- the one with whom I've got the everything-Scorpio composite of doom. We failed in every possible way, and from the start I got 'that vibe' from my new costar, but the real potential of success. If nothing more than he's ... a decade his senior, so, c'mon, right? I mean, we can hope men kinda mature in their forties. (Though ... )

I'd say Jack and I have a bizarre relationship to the outside world that's based in truly unconditional love and caring. He's pretty locked down in his own circumstances, but is really growing and evolving in a variety of ways. My father can help him with his VO career, so he's doing that, and my mother is teaching him her metaphysical knowledge, which is VAST. We joke that he's become our very own Doctor Strange, and he can't disagree. Heh.

For me -- and, let's face it -- ALL my Lilith -- it's profoundly binding -- that he respects who I truly am at my core, which includes my need for sexual liberty. He knows he has my body AND my heart and soul, so he's okay with sharing my body, and sometimes my soul, too. Because it's not his over which to have dominion anyway, and he wouldn't attempt it. 'Love is not possession, and possession isn't love. It's control. One need not be present with the other.'

It's just made me love him more.

I feel like ... he's my true partner, 'no matter what', because we're SO entwined with one another, on SO many levels, and they're not conditional. They simply are.

posted October 28, 2016 12:36 PM            

Thank you, that is a great story!

Glad you are still with Jack

I don't know how you can manage three guys (boys ) but I wish you luck and fortitude and happiness.

@Ceri

Still catching up in bits and pieces, sorry!

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
though maybe it should rather be THIS one, as the two of them sang it as a duet just after the incident...

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Listening

Oh this is beautiful!!!!! All the better because the lyrics apply so perfectly.

I think I remember you sending it to me before.

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Anyway, we are both sometimes talking quicker than thinking (he admitted that about himself), but I guess this was pretty much the first time that came close to something like an argument. lol
Or not.

Anyway we both tend to recover quickly from these things I think. Well the day after that he wrote on fb: "I missed my train. Crap, with whom am I going to argue now???"

---

posted October 28, 2016 12:47 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LC2492:
I wasn't familiar with the TF concept at all. In fact, I wasn't really aware of soulmates either. I had heard of soulmates but I didn't look into the meaning of that all. All of this was foreign to me until I had a connection with someone. I thought I was losing my mind lol. Regardless, I felt something was different for everyone else I've encountered. That's all the mattered in the end.

---

I like the simplicity of that!

posted October 28, 2016 01:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
@Aubyanne

Thank you, that is a great story!

Glad you are still with Jack

I don't know how you can manage three guys (boys ) but I wish you luck and fortitude and happiness.

---

I know, right? It works for us. I think we'd be rather stagnant were it not for the challenges we all face together. We can't handle it all together, per se, in either this relationship, or the other one, so we 'divide and conquer', outsourcing to soulmates, and working together to achieve maximum growth.

It's surprisingly effective.

My husband's latest relationship is with a Libran woman with Virgo rising, and a Sag MOON who's 4 years my junior. We bonded instantly. He can't get a word in edgewise when we're all three together, and we're about to go get makeovers while she's in town. She's recently had to massively update her look, as she was getting more in the public eye, and she's psyched to help me do the same. Her bestie is also a sex therapist, so she's really versed and in-the-know, but never gets to chat about it with anybody else. So we'll pretty much yammer each other's ears off about that especially. She's also heard entirely too much about my new costar for a sane person, and God bless her for listening as intently as she has. Or for telling me that 'it's chemical, you're not crazy, you can't control it.' Because, y'know, Scorpio -- we've got to control ALL of the THINGS. We're both Sag MARS, too, but her VENUS is in Scorpio, which has always been good for me. Some of my best girlfriends are Scorpio VENUS.

Her MARS is on the GC, too. Her art is very sexual, and high profile. She works in comics, and has done a lot for Marvel and DC. She's trying to break out of her very puritanical upbringing, because her parents will disown her, if they get a hint of sexuality from her work. So she has to pretty much hide her claim to fame from them. It's really unfortunate, as she's very good. MARS in a spot like that is a real powerhouse.

Her relationship with my husband has really given her the boost of confidence she was missing, after a couple of seriously bad relationships -- one of which was an emotional predator that left her in the midst of wedding planning, admitting -- WITH HIS LONGTERM GIRLFRIEND -- that he was only using her to break into comics. He then married the longterm girlfriend. So, she was appropriately devastated.

We have something else in common, too. We're both from LE backgrounds who went through the training for our respective career paths (her, Canadian Royal MP, me, the FBI) but had to drop out due to physical conditions that would prevent our graduation. ISN'T THAT WEIRD?

AND we've BOTH been 'hit by psychopaths' despite REALLY knowing better. Though, in her defence, she was a weapons specialist and draftsperson, who studied forensics. I studied both forensics AND psychological profiling. I really, really should've seen 'em coming.

So we've both been able to whinge about that together, over lots of tea and sympathy.

posted October 28, 2016 02:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
Aye, I was just language-shopping. How do others explain what they went through? Can I apply their "label" (which can be a phrase, a sentence, a paragraph or whole lecture long) to what I went through?

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Yes I understand that.
Makes for the feeling of having common ground and a basic understanding that we experience if not the same, something similiar in some respects at least.

Hey Draco Moon in Gemini here - I really love analyzing and yes, also searching for labels/categories.

But in some way while I still find it interesting, it is more the intrigue of finding a common language than really needing a label to feel "secure".

Labels, in some respect, can be very limiting to the experience, limiting ourselves.
And sometimes I think maybe labels aren`t even fixed, but changeable. Like emotions are fluid. or maybe it is just silly talking, not really sure what I even wanna say.

posted October 28, 2016 02:41 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Faith:

He wasn't challenging it. Just like me, he wanted to know her methods. He was impressed that she could tell.

.

---

That. That I find is what is beautiful and truthful and just great. The innate understanding between the two of you, at least at one very truthful moment in your lives.

posted October 28, 2016 04:14 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Thanks for sharing your story, Auby,
its very interesting.

---

posted October 28, 2016 04:16 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Atropos still is a bit of a mystery to me.

---

Me, too. It's funny, but my Astro.com cookie / cache constantly reloads the same asteroids, which somehow got 'locked' in there awhile ago.

EROS, PSYCHE, VALENTINE, KARMA, ALICE, MADHATTER, KLIO, ACTOR, and ATROPOS.

I've no idea why THAT selection, but that's exactly what loads. Every time.

posted October 28, 2016 04:51 PM            

That's where I think the twin flame connexion might truly differ from other obsessions, long-term devotions, and 'affair-causing' intensity. Such evolved, enlightened souls aren't going to be on a path to create MORE karma; there won't be satisfaction, then, in doing harm to anyone in any form. Personal gratification is not worth the cost of another's pain. So, they'll either go on in misery, the cause of one another's pain, or they'll find means around that pain which allow for the togetherness they both seek.

That's where the ingenuity comes in; also, bravery, innovation, and willingness to take great risks for the possibility of even greater reward. That's where they rise to levels others around them can't quite fathom, which becomes almost legendary -- or at least exceptional. 'How did you do that?'

Love, baby.

When you're fighting for love -- and you're doing it honestly, rather than covertly -- it draws an entirely different energy to you, than if you were broadcasting guilt, shame, hopelessness, fear, or despair. It can begin to shift and elevate those around you, too.

My husband didn't believe in unconditional love until us. We've taught him. He's taught us how to recapture our humanity, so we don't have to be so fearful of obtaining joy, or wanting it. There's been so much healing going on, as a result of it all. The positive impact has been noticeable everywhere.

That feels like a twin flame kind of thing to me.

It's not about control, possessiveness, jealousy, or guilt tactics. It's about the understanding that your love transcends ALL of that. So there's no need for fear, or to believe that you're anything less than together, and on a level that supersedes any definition of the word.

So it's not necessarily the twin flame union that follows the beaten path into traditional marriage, starts a family, and teaches others about the twin flame paradigm. It CAN be that union, as it has its own significant gifts to impart, and role to play.

But there's another kind of 'union' that's possible, and starting to happen, which hasn't even been recognised as such, because it doesn't adhere to the prescribed elements of what 'a twin flame union' is. But I'm finding it can be just as valid, and incredible in its teachings.

If everyone involved are enlightened, or at least willing to be, the transformation that's possible, and the means by which so much love can be shared, as well as taught ... it's truly phenomenal.

So, while I call him 'my boyfriend', to adopt a more traditional label, it's so much more than that -- beyond what I can define. My best friend, my creative partner, my research colleague, my lover, one from whom I learn, but also teach, with whom I grow, transform, push the envelope, and change the game. 'Boyfriend' is just easy enough for others to understand, as it implies that we have the romantic relationship we do.

posted October 28, 2016 07:12 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Hey, LC.

Did you notice that once that happened, and you were 'on the journey' to whatever form of enlightenment this brings, that you began to notice more 'these are different' experiences? That they began to be somehow categorised into 'THIS is different' in a way?

---

Aubyanne,

Absolutely. It was a feeling from within. I was thinking "where did she come from?" or "I haven't ever felt this feeling before." I was in complete awe. And I could immediately differentiate from just a simple crush. It was and is the real deal. This person is bringing out the best out of me. Getting me to my potential. And it's like how is she doing this? I've felt many intense emotions that has never has been unleashed. In short, I realized there's no going back. Things won't ever be the same and I could never complain about it.

posted October 28, 2016 07:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
It wasn`t fake. It was true.
At least at that point in time.
Possibly it`s still true, but unfortunately you have lost the key to access and acknowledge that truth (well him, obviously).

---

It's a Mystery. But thanks.

edit

I need to get off this thread soon, I don't like feeling stuck in the past. Even though I think I have Nostalgia conjunct my Pluto on his Venus-Mars. So....there's that.

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
That and if I do that, after having gotten into an argument, and then some profane thing comes up, and I turn to the others asking them who I am going to argue with now (yes it happened, I actually did use that same phrase as he did. lol), anyway if I do that, it usually is a way for me to say: "I`m sorry I let it get so out of hand. I didn`t mean it. I was overreacting. Let`s just move on from that." (without actually having to say it).

Well, of course tha is just my complicated personality, but downplaying things, but so this kind of thing just seemed so familiar to me (though probably he did not mean it just like I would have probably. lol)

---

How do I convey that I understand this perfectly, how you two would be the same in this regard? I don't even remember everything clearly at the moment and couldn't list things you've both done that are like this...but I do know what you mean. Well even the way he talks is often challenging and affectionate at once.

posted October 28, 2016 07:58 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Thanks for sharing your story, Auby,
its very interesting.

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Yes yes. And thanks for all your thoughts about what It is, also.

posted October 28, 2016 08:09 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:

In fact transiting Draco Sun on 5 Sag
transiting Draco Moon on 29 Pisces.

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I remember this, I think I was the one who brought it to your attention the day after it happened

*patting self on back*

Even if I didn't...sounds like something I would do, so that counts...

*pats self on back some more*

LOL

Anyway thanks for the breakdown of that chart, it really was an interesting night. Maybe Atropos conjunct Mercury signifies the death of an old phase where you two were semi-strangers, and brought in this new phase.

Atropos is really intriguing and I need to study it more. Btw when I stopped talking to this ex, tr Atropos conjunct Pisces sun under one degree, and it was a full moon. On my draco IC-MC axis. My draco Pisces IC conjunct his draco stellium there.