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Author Topic:   12th House synastry in male/female relationships
GrandFireT
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posted September 11, 2017 09:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GrandFireT     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Is it always a bummer when one party has a planet or two in the other party's 12th?

Seems that way in my limited experience, even when promising synastry is present in other areas of the chart.

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Beautiful_Light
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posted September 12, 2017 06:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Beautiful_Light     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Depends on the planet?

For romantic relationships, 12th house Sun never gets off the ground for me. I suspect 12th house Moon might be a lot different. You would also have to check your Composite chart and maybe even a first meeting chart for 12th house placements. Any other planets in the 12th house wouldn't be negative, I think.

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llewsacm
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posted September 12, 2017 10:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for llewsacm     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Grand fire I think it would be dependent on how receptive the 12th house party would be to having that house activated. A younger or immature person may not welcome that but someone who is ready for it may be. I've had my moon in another's 12 on a few occasions and I've noticed that it is really up to the house person to let it in. If you know what I mean. 12th is very personal...

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abrightfutureahead
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posted September 13, 2017 03:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for abrightfutureahead     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
In a lot of synastry charts Ive found12th house placements with personal planets (sun,moon,mercury,mars,Venus) in another's chart to follow a theme for the house person that they feel at first a fascination with the planet person, as they bring out feelings in first encounters that this planet person is deep and interested in knowing their secrets and private life.

For the planet person in a new relationship they first find the house person mysterious and with profound emotions kept hidden that makes them intrigued to get to "know" them intimately and at soul level.

As time goes on I find 12th house placements of the personal planets in synastry, if not balanced by some 1st, 4th, 5th or even nice 7 house aspects will start to create the feelings of secrecy and emotional distance.

The house person may start to not like someone digging into their most private parts of themselves and discovering their secrets. Perhaps finding the planet person overwhelms them or suffocates them, possibly too needy or clingy.

The planet person on the other hand may find they feel shut out by the house person, feel them pull away a lot and never able to feel true intamacy and closeness together.
They might be suspicious of the house person at times, feel they are keeping secrets or not being honest.

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abrightfutureahead
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posted September 13, 2017 03:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for abrightfutureahead     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
As beautiful said, the moon may play out differently as the moon is comfortable in the 12th house, that does however depend on what sign the person's moon is in.
If for example you have a libra moon, they may struggle. As libra moons need closeness, fairness, honesty and to be in a relationship to feel settled and content

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EmGem
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posted September 15, 2017 06:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for EmGem     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have my sun/Mercury in a guy's 12th conjunct his asc that I'm completely overcome by. My venus is in his 1st.
He has his sun/Mercury/moon/mars/Uranus/Pluto in my 12th. Lollllll
Now....this stellium plus his venus (which is in my first) conjuncts my ascendant.

So there's good stuff going on here too. We often feel like we have our own little world with one another, getting lost in this beautifully transcendent reality. Lots of eye gazing. Completely enamoured by the other. We really enjoy each other's company, revel in it. And well the sex is completely spiritual, emotional, tantric...healing. As he says it's the perfect balance of lust and passion.
BUT
we are also very secretive with one another. It confuses me as to what he's thinking,, how he's feeling. It's not like we mean to be. It just comes across that way because we don't want to stuff it up and lose the other. I end up misreading him only to realize that he was feeling exactly like me all along. We have lots of pluto in our syn/comp so it all ends up being vomited out eventually. Only to then end up retreating and going into the mistrust territory. We are both in our late 30s so I guess that helps, otherwise I would've been out of there. If I was in my 20s I wouldn't have had the energy to stick around.
So it's beautful to have this 12th house stuff and frustrating at the same time...

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Mohini108
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posted September 15, 2017 09:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mohini108     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've always wondered about someone's Venus in your 12th house. I've heard it's a super close, psychic-like bond. But at the same time I've heard unrequited love and clandestine affairs.

What does "psychic bond" mean anyway???

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Melinn
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posted September 15, 2017 11:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Melinn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Venus in 12th house.

I had this with a guy friend, his venus in my12th house. This is how that psychic bond" worked for me, I could always every morning before I saw him at class know what he was gonna wear that day! I just got the image in my head and almost always it was right! haha!. I had a crush on him and we hung out at school everyday for 2 years at high school, but he already had a girlfriend so it was doomed to be "unrequired" love. Well not true love, but anyways.

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Einfühlung
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posted September 15, 2017 05:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Einfühlung     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I also think Venus in 12th tends to be Star-crossed. My ex had his Venus in my 12th and at that time we had to keep our relationship secret from my parents because they didn't allow me to date at that time. The guy I like has his Venus in my 12th and we have an age gap and our relatives have opposite political views. I'm looking that we have a 0% chance of being together if he cares about those things.

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GrandFireT
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posted September 16, 2017 07:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GrandFireT     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks, all, for reporting on this topic.

Possibly I need to keep an open mind about having a woman's planets in my 12th.
To date, a Pisces Sun and a Pisces Mars went nowhere.

EmGem, your graphic description leaves me wondering if I'd survive such an intense affair.

For the time being, I believe I'll stick with baseball.


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hearttreasure
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posted September 16, 2017 08:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hearttreasure     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
His moon is in my 12th house.

At first I feel like I can trust him with my personal life. He asks me about my past relationship (yes, he highly curious about me as I look mysterious for him) and I tell him my bad experience in abusive relationship which I never tell anyone (unless my fam) as I don't like people know how badly hurt or tragic moment I have. It turns out I have found he tells all his friends that I am a crazy woman that I am in mental illness state because of my past relationship. When I hear it, I feel like there's a knife on my chest, stab me hundred times, like, I trust this man and it's a private matter how could he?

Since that I never ever trust him with my personal stories.

We have big trust issues in relationship as there're some other factors too. He thinks that I hide something from him while I think I will never ever trust him anymore.

How we, no, I, solve the problem, as I am still in relationship with him (big time on-off), I don't focus on how both of us don't share some of our life activities. I let it as part of our relationship theme as he really really gets ****** of if I do the same thing asking him questions. I learn to keep checking the reality.

If you are the 12th house person, just be careful with the planet person in synastry.

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Einfühlung
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posted September 17, 2017 02:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Einfühlung     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ooh, whoa, hearttreasure I'm sorry that happened to you. Makes me think if he did that to other people even without the aspect involved. This is a great reminder to stay guarded at all times with new people. My ex is an absolute liar and petty person, and we had Neptune square sun in synastry. I found out that he said really bad things about me that weren't true from his now fiancé, which was stupid enough to believe him and not believe me when I told her what he said about her. I'm just glad to only dealt with them in a very short time and I hope as time goes on they get what they deserve by tearing each other apart

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manderin
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posted September 17, 2017 11:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for manderin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Jupiter in the 12th is often considered pretty good in synastry because Jupiter tends to be very much at home in the 12th house.

All the other planets are generally not great in the 12th in synastry.

Sun in the 12th is often especially considered dangerous. The 12th house is what is hidden and the Sun illuminates things to have them be seen. Not a great combination at all.

But it depends on the individual charts.

I know in my case and from my own history, people who have planets in my 12th (except for jupiter) are NOT to be trusted no matter what their sex is. But I have Saturn and Rahu in my 12th and neither of these do well in the 12th OR in Leo so someone like me really shouldn't toy with having people's energy in my 12th.

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Thefish
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posted September 19, 2017 06:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Thefish     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The native twelfth house is Pisces, which is known as the dustbin. The 12th house embodies the subconscious, hidden enemies, and ending winding down.

Mars in the twelfth often causes issues because Mars is an action planet and the twelfth is about reflection and introspection.

Venus in the twelfth typically relates to hidden love/romance which manifests similarly to venus square neptune or choosing inappropriate or doomed relationships.
The 12th can be frustrating because many planets are not comfortable there and hard aspects tend amplify those issues.

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GrandFireT
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posted September 19, 2017 07:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GrandFireT     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks, everyone, for responding to this thread. I've learned much and appreciate you taking time to explain this synastry.

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