posted October 14, 2018 02:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by cultstatus:
My last relationship, his Nessus was on my Descendant exact and he was abusive toward me. He was horrendous actually, so now I’m wary. I want to know more about the positive side of Nessus energy!

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Like it would not be as simple as his nessus conjuncts your DC. That alone would not do it. Its a combo of his natal and him having already a predisposition in his natal to be abusive that is also reinforced or triggered when it comes in contact with your natal (synastry), the davison and the composite. Add that perhaps transits are exacerbating his negative traits possibly while you guys were dating.

posted October 14, 2018 04:08 PM            

The dejanira might for example not stand up for themselves or say stop and nessus may get lost in the passion. Dejanira's discovery chart has mercury in scorpio opposite pluto, I feel perhaps there is a tendency to not want to talk about things and keep things a secret of a sexual nature bc is taboo, it also has mars conjunct saturn in aquarius so is not comfortable with sex, more on the prudish side, possibly asexual (uranus/aqua in context to mars tends to rebel against mars values, dislike mars things, add saturn is there too restricting the expression of mars). Dejanira also has Moon in Capricorn so the moon is afflicted perhaps making it hard for them to understand their emotional nature or easier to dissociate from their emotions. Dejanira's Mars conjunct Saturn is squaring pluto and opposing Uranus so is like they attract situations that happen out of the blue were sex is been imposed on them even though they don't want to have sex and are not interested in that, add that mercury in scorpio opposing pluto is probably struggling to make this clear and to speak up. Then Nessus has Mars in hard aspect to Neptune so they don't understand boundaries well and can get easily lost in their passionate nature (nessus has mars trine venus, mars trine pluto, mars opposite neptune), so when these two come together it can be real bad news and a recipe for disaster but I feel you have to also look at the natals involved, the rest of both charts as it will not always manifest as abuse.

For Example: his nessus aspect my dejanira can be as simple as he is single but does not care I am married and is willing to cross such boundaries but it does not mean abuse, after all his mars squares my mars.

For Example: They had Nessus/Dejanira double whammy, both were married and had an affair, both crossed those boundaries but zero abuse, both were actually very sweet and caring to one another.

For Example: Having a strong dejanira influence in your chart with a weak Mars is not good, easy target, predators will target the dejanira person and they will not stand up for themselves. Someone with sun conjunct dejanira but MARS in LEO on the AC has a strong Mars ready to strike back, so people will target them but they will be equipped to defend themselves. If that person did not have a strong Mars it might be a different story. Hence even if you have Dejanira hitting your big 3 you must see rest of chart bc if the rest of chart indicates that the person can defend themselves usually they will pursue justice, report what happened or get back to you somehow.

To make matters even more complicated often Victims end up doing what was done to them to others bc in a sense it was normalized in their mind specially it trauma happened while they were children so I feel often Dejanira shows up in the charts of people who have experienced trauma but also inflicted trauma unto others as a reaction to their own trauma (e.g. the cycle of abuse). To me Dejanira is a red flag of abuse (received or inflicted). I see Nessus more of a cheating /affair energy, after all dejanira was married and Nessus didn't care and still pursued her.

Dejanira can be were you are more likely to be taken advantaged off or the area of your life were you feel helpless and easily overwhelmed, were you have a hard time accessing your power.

Like dejanira in the 6th, you feel your are a victim to your health (mental or physical or both) and this is a barrier to you thriving in the workplace. Dejanira in the 8th is maybe you can't ever get rid of debt and if you ever accumulate money it gets stolen or taken from you.

^^I guess what I am saying is that this is a complicated subject, dejanira and nessus, and we need to keep researching these two closely.

posted October 14, 2018 06:03 PM            

Regarding my ex I also feel his Neptune squaring my Mars contributed. He wasn't physically abusive toward me other than sleeping with people behind my back (when we were "broken up" for a day and not telling me!), it was more emotional and psychological abuse.

So I just checked synastry with ex and he actually has Dejanira exact on his moon to the degree. And his Mars and NN loosely conjunct my Dejanira (in my 1st house conjunct my ascendant - think my Aries Mars aids in my not becoming as much of a victim as I potentially could be, though after reading some stuff quickly on Dej I can certainly relate), so I guess you would consider that a Mars aspect?

That makes my Dejanira opposite his Nessus within a degree as well.

posted October 14, 2018 09:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by cultstatus:
Interesting! I am just beginning to learn about Nessus and haven't read much on Dejanira either tbh. So thank you for taking the time to explain more.

Regarding my ex I also feel his Neptune squaring my Mars contributed. He wasn't physically abusive toward me other than sleeping with people behind my back (when we were "broken up" for a day and not telling me!), it was more emotional and psychological abuse.

So I just checked synastry with ex and he actually has Dejanira exact on his moon to the degree. And his Mars and NN loosely conjunct my Dejanira (in my 1st house conjunct my ascendant - think my Aries Mars aids in my not becoming as much of a victim as I potentially could be, though after reading some stuff quickly on Dej I can certainly relate), so I guess you would consider that a Mars aspect?

That makes my Dejanira opposite his Nessus within a degree as well.

Omg so interesting!

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Interesting! That makes a lot of sense, you have two markers with him increasing the chances that it will manifest in an abusive way combined with a predisposition in his own natal chart that may indicate he was possibly abused by his mother (moon conjunct dejanira) increasing the chances he could displace that anger unto you.

posted October 14, 2018 10:42 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by cultstatus:
Well his mother was a very kind woman, he described his upbringing as picture perfect. I met them a number of times and they were truly lovely people who matched the description.
I'm really not sure what provoked this behaviour, one idea though is Venus retrograde in his natal chart may have contributed to his constant changing of feelings and breaking up with me. Literally like two days after he told me he loved me for the first time he took it back and said he didn't know and then broke up with me (the first time of several).

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Thanks for informing me about the mother been nice.

I could see that, I have mercury rx ruling my DC opposite Moon in mutable signs and I am a mess in the love department. I have a hx of breaking up a lot in relationships, my partner just doesn't take me seriously when I try to end it which often coincides with my period bc he knows I am erratic and change my mind a lot. I actually warned him at the very beginning I had this problem 11 years ago. He has his own flaws and I am patient with them too as he is with mines.

posted October 14, 2018 10:47 PM            

Yep! Venus in Gem, along with his sun, mercury and chiron, all falling in my 4th house Conjunct Chiron and opposing my Venus and Saturn. Lovely.

posted October 14, 2018 10:55 PM            

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Originally posted by cultstatus:
Haha it must be exhausting!

Yep! Venus in Gem, along with his sun, mercury and chiron, all falling in my 4th house Conjunct Chiron and opposing my Venus and Saturn. Lovely.

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hahah Yes I specially break up a lot at the beginning then is just once in a blue moon, I can have long periods of been calm and then I get restless, my DC is in Gemini actually...

Part of it is restlessness, part of it is what if the grass is greener on the other side, re-evaluating/overthinking if I am truly with who I am suppose to be crap and part of it is lets see if our relationship can survive an earthquake and you stick around bc if you are truly for me you will...Jupiter my chart ruler conjuncts uranus.

Does his DC ruler aspect his Venus Rx?

posted October 14, 2018 11:30 PM            

Re my ex - His DC ruler is loosely conjunct his Rx Venus (8 degrees).

How close do you could for a conjunction when it comes to Asteroids? The original guy I started this thread about his Psyche is pretty close to my DC, same sign.

I have a lot of friends with NN 7th house, how has it been for you?

posted October 14, 2018 11:50 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by cultstatus:
That honestly must be so challenging for you to work through. Sounds like you're with someone who is pretty understanding; it helps that you're self aware enough to alert them to it too.

Re my ex - His DC ruler is loosely conjunct his Rx Venus (8 degrees).

How close do you could for a conjunction when it comes to Asteroids? The original guy I started this thread about his Psyche is pretty close to my DC, same sign.

I have a lot of friends with NN 7th house, how has it been for you?

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There is somebody for everyone and everyone has their flaws that are challenging to work through, in my case is restlessness in love but in spite of that he benefits and receives a lot from been with me and so the good out weights the bad, I am patient with him too in ways other women would never be and have a ridiculous amount of compassion and patience with his flaws but I also feel the good out weights the bad with him.

I meant what is your exe's DC ruler and does it aspect his own Venus Rx in Gemini?

Well asteroid Psyche is a very important asteroid so you can use a wider orb potentially up to 8 degrees when in aspect to Eros according to astrologer Jewel but I would say to keep it under 5 degrees with the angles.

posted October 15, 2018 01:03 AM            

Hey, hypatia238.. I'm trying to remember your natal.. I've looked back at threads but cannot find where you posted your synastry, and from where I can see your natal. Can you bump it for me by any chance?

posted October 15, 2018 01:15 AM            

I was reading some other thread about Davison charts today and someone commented that you can take them quite literally. Something about Pisces ruling their 4th and their house being flooded and a whole rang of water related issues I think lol.

And the NN between her and I is in the 10th, she's actually assisting me to get in with the company that she works for who I have wanted to work for for a long time. Similarly I've been able to offer her guidance with where she's headed too.

posted October 16, 2018 01:04 AM            

I have a suspicion the nodes are important in Davisons. It's good to see that the NN is aspected by the Moon there.

Also, I'm interested in those Saturn aspects you have to Juno and Mercury

posted October 16, 2018 11:28 PM            

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Originally posted by sassaqua:
I'm interested too!

I have a suspicion the nodes are important in Davisons. It's good to see that the NN is aspected by the Moon there.

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posted December 24, 2018 03:54 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
Statistics show that when is HIS venus on her NN it is one of the markers for divorce but not the other way around.

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posted December 24, 2018 03:58 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
Dejanira is the victim asteroid, people with dejanira hitting their luminaries do tend to have a personality that makes them an easy target, very soft, they become easily overwhelmed, more likely to stay silent if abused ect and so predators target them. I see Dejanira to be more of an indicator of abuse than Nessus, Nessus is a primal energy but not necessarily bad but when it comes in contact with a dejanira type its a recipe for disaster.

The dejanira might for example not stand up for themselves or say stop and nessus may get lost in the passion. Dejanira's discovery chart has mercury in scorpio opposite pluto, I feel perhaps there is a tendency to not want to talk about things and keep things a secret of a sexual nature bc is taboo, it also has mars conjunct saturn in aquarius so is not comfortable with sex, more on the prudish side, possibly asexual (uranus/aqua in context to mars tends to rebel against mars values, dislike mars things, add saturn is there too restricting the expression of mars). Dejanira also has Moon in Capricorn so the moon is afflicted perhaps making it hard for them to understand their emotional nature or easier to dissociate from their emotions. Dejanira's Mars conjunct Saturn is squaring pluto and opposing Uranus so is like they attract situations that happen out of the blue were sex is been imposed on them even though they don't want to have sex and are not interested in that, add that mercury in scorpio opposing pluto is probably struggling to make this clear and to speak up. Then Nessus has Mars in hard aspect to Neptune so they don't understand boundaries well and can get easily lost in their passionate nature (nessus has mars trine venus, mars trine pluto, mars opposite neptune), so when these two come together it can be real bad news and a recipe for disaster but I feel you have to also look at the natals involved, the rest of both charts as it will not always manifest as abuse.

For Example: his nessus aspect my dejanira can be as simple as he is single but does not care I am married and is willing to cross such boundaries but it does not mean abuse, after all his mars squares my mars.

For Example: They had Nessus/Dejanira double whammy, both were married and had an affair, both crossed those boundaries but zero abuse, both were actually very sweet and caring to one another.

For Example: Having a strong dejanira influence in your chart with a weak Mars is not good, easy target, predators will target the dejanira person and they will not stand up for themselves. Someone with sun conjunct dejanira but MARS in LEO on the AC has a strong Mars ready to strike back, so people will target them but they will be equipped to defend themselves. If that person did not have a strong Mars it might be a different story. Hence even if you have Dejanira hitting your big 3 you must see rest of chart bc if the rest of chart indicates that the person can defend themselves usually they will pursue justice, report what happened or get back to you somehow.

To make matters even more complicated often Victims end up doing what was done to them to others bc in a sense it was normalized in their mind specially it trauma happened while they were children so I feel often Dejanira shows up in the charts of people who have experienced trauma but also inflicted trauma unto others as a reaction to their own trauma (e.g. the cycle of abuse). To me Dejanira is a red flag of abuse (received or inflicted). I see Nessus more of a cheating /affair energy, after all dejanira was married and Nessus didn't care and still pursued her.

Dejanira can be were you are more likely to be taken advantaged off or the area of your life were you feel helpless and easily overwhelmed, were you have a hard time accessing your power.

Like dejanira in the 6th, you feel your are a victim to your health (mental or physical or both) and this is a barrier to you thriving in the workplace. Dejanira in the 8th is maybe you can't ever get rid of debt and if you ever accumulate money it gets stolen or taken from you.

^^I guess what I am saying is that this is a complicated subject, dejanira and nessus, and we need to keep researching these two closely.

Let me ask you did you have Mars aspect Mars with your ex?

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posted December 29, 2018 06:41 AM            

And saw people had commented to ask for updates.

WELL, I have been trying to cut it off for months. We are still in separate cities for the time being. He wants to move closer to where I am to the place I'm thinking I'd like to settle in. I try blocking him on everything but we always somehow come back to each other and end up communicating.

One night after I had him blocked for a while (about a month month ago) I was drunk and ended up calling him a bunch of times, turns out he was hospitalised that night and was in hospital for weeks. We are just so psychically connected. I told him I need more time alone, like a year, so I had to block him again. I want to be happy with where I am at in life.

I'm trying so hard to forget him and not live in a fantasy of what could be, but I just cannot get him out of my head. I think he thinks I really don't care because I insist on us not communicating all the time. I really truely want to be with him (from what I know of what we have currently) but I cannot until I have achieved the success I want. So I suppose its a driving force for me in going after my career aspirations.

posted December 29, 2018 07:49 AM            

This kind of thing DID happen with a karmic and I was lucky enough to find true love afterwards. He's still stuck wishing he'd done things differently, I'm hoping he'll find his 'one' too. (What's crazy is when I look back at that which I really thought was something, I now see there was hardly anything there at all compared to the real thing and that's why we didn't get together...)

Truth is you're not ready for the love that wish for and that's great and it sounds like you and this guy have a huge karmic connection, and that's great too. Not visiting him in hospital or wanting to be there for him after doesn't sound like love to me though. Neither does wanting to be with him when X is achieved. With true love you can't not be together ♥

posted December 29, 2018 08:20 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by waxlobster:
Just to give my honest take Cultstatus (I hope you don't mind) if I had a connection with somebody and they didn't want to see me for a year I would not wait around.

This kind of thing DID happen with a karmic and I was lucky enough to find true love afterwards. He's still stuck wishing he'd done things differently, I'm hoping he'll find his 'one' too. (What's crazy is when I look back at that which I really thought was something, I now see there was hardly anything there at all compared to the real thing and that's why we didn't get together...)

Truth is you're not ready for the love that wish for and that's great and it sounds like you and this guy have a huge karmic connection, and that's great too. Not visiting him in hospital or wanting to be there for him after doesn't sound like love to me though. Neither does wanting to be with him when X is achieved. With true love you can't not be together ♥

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Was I supposed to drop my responsibilities and travel interstate to be there for someone while they're in hospital? Im sorry, what? I did speak to him for a few days while he was in hospitalised before asking that we have no communication again which he agreed to. Its not like I'm the only person frustrated by the situation and its limitations right now.

I have to respectfully disagree with what you're saying. I believe people should try and go into relationships as fully formed people with their own stuff going on, initiating a relationship while trying to start a business makes no sense, unless I want the business to fail. I strongly believe individuals should be happy within themselves before looking for a partner, and right now I am not happy with where I am at. I would argue that wanting to be the absolute best version of yourself to offer to a partner IS love, more so than selfishly just wanting your immediate needs met, companionship, design for intimacy etc etc.

I understand that he may meet someone else and I am prepared for that. I have never once asked him to wait until I'm ready or anything along those lines, only that I expected us not to speak for a year and not a month (when he reached out again).

posted December 29, 2018 09:15 AM            

I agree about waiting to be whole, ready etc. the right thing won't tend to come before your energy is emitting your true soul frequency anyway. I've been in your shoes I think, not with the blocking thing, I've never done that but with the whole having a fantasy whilst working on the self.

My thoughts are really to consider that this guy sounds like he loves you more than you love him and I again, I don't know what he was in hospital for, but being a good friend to him right now would be a wonderful thing….rather than blocking him. If you do love him, please send him love.