posted August 06, 2019 11:52 AM            

We have Venus square pluto synastry. I think what makes it more painful, I have Venus opposite Neptune and Venus in Cancer. He seems to let go easily with his moon in aries.

How do you deal with venus square pluto break up??

posted August 06, 2019 09:39 PM            

Just focus on productive things, try put your energy into your career or work, hobbies, working out, going outside and getting fresh air really helps clear your mind. Make sure you put things in perspective too, it always helps. Practice gratitude. I’m assuming you still have your health? Food? A roof over your head? Things can always be worse so try to appreciate the little things and instead of focusing on the loss, appreciate what’s still there. That lil shift in thinking and perspective works wonders. We can’t choose how we feel or shut our emotions off, pain is unavoidable, but we CAN decide how we deal with them. And Remember that you were fine before you met him, so you’ll be fine after him too. So get all your sadness out, cry as much as you need to, but then realize you still have the rest of your life to live and you don’t want to waste any of it dwelling on the past or things you can’t change etc. Your life doesn’t stop or start around another person.
Enjoy the moment, focusing on the present, not the past, the past is dead and gone and only exists in your head now, don’t let it affect your present and future. Now is what matters, enjoy the great gift that is life 😇🥰. Sending you lots of healing energy! Hang in there girly! Spend time with friends and family too, always helped me 👍.

You’re probably going to look back on this in a year from now and be over it and wish you didn’t worry about it so much or let it affect you like this. We always do lol.
Also suggest deleting all pictures and texts/msg and reminders of him. You’re never going to heal if you keep his memory around.

Think of it like a drug addiction, because it is. Love is dopamine (cocaine) and oxytocin (similar to heroine) primarily being pumped into your brain making you addicted and attached to this person.
And just like a drug addiction, you have to REMOVE any traces of it so you’re not tempted to relapse lol.

You said you work with him, so maybe try avoid him at work if possible, and if you really need to, maybe try changing jobs? It possible. Maybe relocate depending on the job.

Just some suggestions, just tryna help out, one girl to another

posted August 06, 2019 10:46 PM            

Well... your question is an hard one for me since I'm trying to let go of that same Pluto square Venus myself since long time... with no success 😢 so maybe I'm not the best person who can help you in this... I can just share the sorrow and try to follow Luna's suggestions...

By now, I've just decided that I can't fight against my feelings, I just love him no matter what, and there's nothing I can do about this... and whilst I love him no matter what, I carry on my life, my projects, my creativity, my independence, and I won't turn love into a self-destructive process, on the contrary, I want love to inspire me and help me to become a better person. My message to my Pluto square his Venus mainly starts with "f", "uck" in the middle and ends with "you" 😂, and the second part is "you won't control my life and my ability to love no matter what".

Well... this is me, of course. I guess each person has to find their own way to deal with it/heal from this... and you will too, I am sure, since you're a proud Leo girl with lovely boundless Piesces ASC and Aqua North Node... the Universe is yours!

Big Love ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

posted August 07, 2019 08:48 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by EmGem:
Are you Venus or Pluto in the square?
And how about you stoika?
Who finds it hard to let go?
I have it in synastry with someone I’m finding it hard to let go if. He’s Pluto and I’m Venus.

---

Hi EmGem, I am Pluto 7th house and he's Venus on my 4th house... I guess it might go either way 😔

posted August 08, 2019 12:31 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stoika7:
Hi EmGem, I am Pluto 7th house and he's Venus on my 4th house... I guess it might go either way 😔

---

posted August 10, 2019 12:12 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by LunaIscariot:
I’m sorry you’re going thru this breakups are really tough! The one thing I can say though experience though is that it DOES get better. I promise. Time doesn’t heal all wounds per say, but it makes it less painful and easier to bear forsure. Eventually, you’ll be able to go a day and then two and then a week etc. Without thinking about him. And you’ll be over it completely once you find a new love 😊.

Just focus on productive things, try put your energy into your career or work, hobbies, working out, going outside and getting fresh air really helps clear your mind. Make sure you put things in perspective too, it always helps. Practice gratitude. I’m assuming you still have your health? Food? A roof over your head? Things can always be worse so try to appreciate the little things and instead of focusing on the loss, appreciate what’s still there. That lil shift in thinking and perspective works wonders. We can’t choose how we feel or shut our emotions off, pain is unavoidable, but we CAN decide how we deal with them. And Remember that you were fine before you met him, so you’ll be fine after him too. So get all your sadness out, cry as much as you need to, but then realize you still have the rest of your life to live and you don’t want to waste any of it dwelling on the past or things you can’t change etc. Your life doesn’t stop or start around another person.
Enjoy the moment, focusing on the present, not the past, the past is dead and gone and only exists in your head now, don’t let it affect your present and future. Now is what matters, enjoy the great gift that is life 😇🥰. Sending you lots of healing energy! Hang in there girly! Spend time with friends and family too, always helped me 👍.

You’re probably going to look back on this in a year from now and be over it and wish you didn’t worry about it so much or let it affect you like this. We always do lol.
Also suggest deleting all pictures and texts/msg and reminders of him. You’re never going to heal if you keep his memory around.

Think of it like a drug addiction, because it is. Love is dopamine (cocaine) and oxytocin (similar to heroine) primarily being pumped into your brain making you addicted and attached to this person.
And just like a drug addiction, you have to REMOVE any traces of it so you’re not tempted to relapse lol.

You said you work with him, so maybe try avoid him at work if possible, and if you really need to, maybe try changing jobs? It possible. Maybe relocate depending on the job.

Just some suggestions, just tryna help out, one girl to another

---

Luna, How lovely and kind you are for writing me this. Thank you so much!!! You must be such a loving and caring person indeed.
Thanks so much for your words and advice! <333 I read them few times to help and strengthen me.
Yes, I'm trying so hard to put my energy into my work, hobbies and other things. I removed all the things related to him. Many things. I hope it works this time.

But the problem is, avoiding him at work is pretty impossible now. I can't change job and can't move to another branch for contract reason. The worst thing is, We dated backstreet without people knowing it to keep our professionalism at work.
He's my inner circle at work, We meet everyday, we work in the same team, we go for lunch almost everyday with my group at work.
So, nobody knows we were dating. It actually makes things more complicated. We should work without people knowing that he's my ex :/

I'm trying to deal with the problem of me letting go my feeling with the condition of "we stay as close friends" (I should thanks to my virgo moon to look cold or heartless, even though inside i'm dying :S),
You know, it's quite impossible for "venus square pluto" for staying friend since our feeling is too intense.
and also there's this girl at work who is also our inner circle, our closest friends adores him sooo much that she is so clingy with him and try so hard to get his attention. I hate it.
IT TRIGGERS MY PLUTO every single day at work. My brain could explode, erghh.
Me myself like "Oke, I'm letting him go, But I hate to see him care for someone else. I hate to see him with someone else"
Wish me luck!! I hope I could deal with it daily. I think I'm gonna have heart attacked or stroke because of this. :/

posted August 10, 2019 12:14 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stoika7:
Hi Winne, I remember your post and our conversation... I'm so sorry you're going through this, I send you big hugs 💕

Well... your question is an hard one for me since I'm trying to let go of that same Pluto square Venus myself since long time... with no success 😢 so maybe I'm not the best person who can help you in this... I can just share the sorrow and try to follow Luna's suggestions...

By now, I've just decided that I can't fight against my feelings, I just love him no matter what, and there's nothing I can do about this... and whilst I love him no matter what, I carry on my life, my projects, my creativity, my independence, and I won't turn love into a self-destructive process, on the contrary, I want love to inspire me and help me to become a better person. My message to my Pluto square his Venus mainly starts with "f", "uck" in the middle and ends with "you" 😂, and the second part is "you won't control my life and my ability to love no matter what".

Well... this is me, of course. I guess each person has to find their own way to deal with it/heal from this... and you will too, I am sure, since you're a proud Leo girl with lovely boundless Piesces ASC and Aqua North Node... the Universe is yours!

Big Love ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

---

Hi Dear Stoika, Thanks a lot for your reply!! Yess, you read my synastry and composite with him, Thanks a lot for that. Thanks a lot for the hugs! Thanks a lot for the words!! <333
I hope me being leo girl, pisces ascendant and aqua north node helps <3

Wah, how long has it been stoika?? since the breakup? are you still in touch with him? have you found another love after him? I mean someone you have more intense feeling than you had with him. More intense synastry maybe.
I found this words "You never stop loving. Once you love someone honestly, truly, you will never be able to un-love them. You only find someone you will love more. At that time, your old love will not feel so strong, but it's a heart, it will never let you forget something that ever made you happy"
I'm also pluto in this venus square pluto. Good to hear that you're dealing with it in constructive ways.You know I'll deal with it. I Promise myself lol

posted August 10, 2019 12:15 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by EmGem:
Are you Venus or Pluto in the square?
And how about you stoika?
Who finds it hard to let go?
I have it in synastry with someone I’m finding it hard to let go if. He’s Pluto and I’m Venus.

---

posted August 10, 2019 12:16 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by vansio:
On a rational healing level, read about “trauma bond”

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posted August 10, 2019 01:24 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by winnertivanigrace:

Hi Dear Stoika, Thanks a lot for your reply!! Yess, you read my synastry and composite with him, Thanks a lot for that. Thanks a lot for the hugs! Thanks a lot for the words!! <333
I hope me being leo girl, pisces ascendant and aqua north node helps <3

---

❤️❤️❤️ 💪💪💪

quote:

---

Wah, how long has it been stoika?? since the breakup? are you still in touch with him? have you found another love after him? I mean someone you have more intense feeling than you had with him. More intense synastry maybe.
I found this words "You never stop loving. Once you love someone honestly, truly, you will never be able to un-love them. You only find someone you will love more. At that time, your old love will not feel so strong, but it's a heart, it will never let you forget something that ever made you happy"

---

Awww, thank you so much for these lovely words, I completely agree!!!
I'm no longer in touch with him since long and I'm madly in love since three years... it's crazy, but Pluto square Venus can do this even to an Aquarius Sun/Venus like me!!
Well, for you it's even harsher, having to work with him, really sorry about this... it must be so painful any time you cross his road and not being able to forget him this way... I really wish you to find someone to love even more very soon, especially someone who might really love you, and I'm sure you will cause you're the sweetest and beautiful !! (it's clear from your chart ❤️ )

quote:

---

I'm also pluto in this venus square pluto. Good to hear that you're dealing with it in constructive ways.You know I'll deal with it. I Promise myself lol

BIG LOVEEE <333333

---

I'm sure you will darling, it will take some time, but always keep in mind you deserve so much more than this!

Keep us updated! 💕

posted August 10, 2019 10:12 AM              

I am so sorry and I so understand the feeling of your heart almost exploding, especially with daily contacts at work and seeing him with others, imagining or seeing him care for others, I have been through those.

How you deal with Pluto anything is you embrace it I think. You stop fighting what has been and accept that it has come to an end to regenerate.

Pluto is very similar to Saturn I think, in that it hurts if you fight it and Pluto is not exactly your nan so fighting it is bound to provide plenty of pain.

Accepting its nuclear implosion can be painful too, but it's not as bad as resisting it.

I didn't survive a Pluto square Venus but did a Pluto sextile sun and conjunct mars (I was the sun/mars), so I have an idea of how it feels. He? He moved on in the blink of an eye!

I clung on to the idea of that relationship so hard, I was almost seeking sacrifices to make just to get it back on track and felt frustrated at the absence of things to do.
I lost all the friends I had then because it was the one thing everything else reverted to, to me, and their helplessness frustrated me too. I didn't accept that they had tried to be positive and see signs of him wanting to be with me and then told me to just drop it. Nothing made sense because my sense was not the one calling the shots here. It was my guts. I did not compute because everything else felt so trivial. It all sounded like they were trying to describe a Sex and The City plot to me while I was talking about my SOUL and LIFE lol That's how it felt.

@Luna is so right (I second her entire post ) , it IS an addiction. And because it was I refused to let go of it lol Unlike you I had no contact, nothing in common with him outside our relationship so when he stopped taking my calls it was pretty much it. I cannot fathom today how much I felt for entries on a phone's list of past calls. I would erase every knew one to make sure his would still show, those long hours of conversations. I would extort meaning from anything based on my one and only idea: I wanted him.

I felt physical withdrawal, any romantic attention or intention, even friendship, from anyone else made me suddenly deeply sad and dark in my thoughts, which I couldn't but verbalise because it felt like an insult to that epic feeling I had for him.

I began to be a bit better when I owned to not letting go actually. I decided ok, I'll be this forever widow type, but I'll be true to my love. The amount of things I've accomplished being like that was quite impressive, it transcended every fear I had, every block. It made me brave enough to expose myself to so much pain because I had no filter whatsoever so I just expressed everything in violent spurts and hurt myself to countless issues in social contexts which allowed me to discover some deep buried issues about me I would have never admitted to otherwise.

Then I retreated. Once the implosion/explosion was finished (about 4 years in) I began to feel calm again and started to reconnect with all that had made me happy and myself before that relationship. Physical activities, hobbies... all things that had been *me* and just me (and even some of those I shared with him, but that came before).
I fell out of love as discreetly as I had fallen in. I exhausted the love analysing it to its death, it wasn't until I finally exhausted all possibilities of interpretation of the very complex dynamics that had been going on between us that I felt 'done' and able to confront myself. It felt as if I had dug and dug deeper into the earth and finally found the end of it, then only I brushed the dirt off of my eyes, I took a look around and started to crawl back out.

I vividly remember the day I erased his phone number. I was on my way to work and the train was late, I took my phone to see how long we had been stopped and almost instinctively went through my contacts, and erased him. I felt such peace, not after I did it, before. The peace was why I could do it.

In retrospect, I'd say that the love waned, but the intensity remained, even to this day. But it has nothing to do with him. This intensity I feel now towards myself. It was strange to recognise but I gained faithfulness towards myself from that experience. This love threw me up against the walls and pushed me down and it never stopped until I started to rebound and stand up.
I still have the same issues, I'm still basically the same person, but I feel so much better? That feeling he triggered in me, now it's mine.

I can only wish you something less extreme (and long, god was I long recovering lol), but Pluto in my humble opinion is one of those things where the only way out is through. Whether that means confronting him, enrolling in boxing classes, flying 10000 miles to a new life, the thirst for regeneration, for change cannot be quenched unless you give in.

O and I haven't really been into such an intimate relationship again but whether it's friends or work, I have never been destroyed by relationships ending since. I have ended things at the right time and without regret. It made me quite wise in terms of my emotional health I'd say. I have also realised that I had been very much breaking up with him as he broke up with me then.

Stoika,
Your words make me want to hug you so real and so long! I feel so much for what you describe.
I think you are having at this like a queen (rockstar, now queen, you're climbing UP that ladder, love ) and I am sure that in time that love will come back to you and you will be free to give it to whomever you please (or to keep it to yourself).

I feel similarly in terms of harvesting the Pluto love for self improvement and becoming a better person for it, I used to not think of myself, I still have loads of issues but I know I'm such a good person now

posted August 10, 2019 05:10 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Moonbeth:

I began to be a bit better when I owned to not letting go actually. I decided ok, I'll be this forever widow type, but I'll be true to my love. The amount of things I've accomplished being like that was quite impressive, it transcended every fear I had, every block. It made me brave enough to expose myself to so much pain because I had no filter whatsoever so I just expressed everything in violent spurts and hurt myself to countless issues in social contexts which allowed me to discover some deep buried issues about me I would have never admitted to otherwise.

Then I retreated. Once the implosion/explosion was finished (about 4 years in) I began to feel calm again and started to reconnect with all that had made me happy and myself before that relationship. Physical activities, hobbies... all things that had been *me* and just me (and even some of those I shared with him, but that came before).
I fell out of love as discreetly as I had fallen in. I exhausted the love analysing it to its death, it wasn't until I finally exhausted all possibilities of interpretation of the very complex dynamics that had been going on between us that I felt 'done' and able to confront myself. It felt as if I had dug and dug deeper into the earth and finally found the end of it, then only I brushed the dirt off of my eyes, I took a look around and started to crawl back out.

I vividly remember the day I erased his phone number. I was on my way to work and the train was late, I took my phone to see how long we had been stopped and almost instinctively went through my contacts, and erased him. I felt such peace, not after I did it, before. The peace was why I could do it.

In retrospect, I'd say that the love waned, but the intensity remained, even to this day. But it has nothing to do with him. This intensity I feel now towards myself. It was strange to recognise but I gained faithfulness towards myself from that experience. This love threw me up against the walls and pushed me down and it never stopped until I started to rebound and stand up.
I still have the same issues, I'm still basically the same person, but I feel so much better? That feeling he triggered in me, now it's mine.

I can only wish you something less extreme (and long, god was I long recovering lol), but Pluto in my humble opinion is one of those things where the only way out is through. Whether that means confronting him, enrolling in boxing classes, flying 10000 miles to a new life, the thirst for regeneration, for change cannot be quenched unless you give in.

O and I haven't really been into such an intimate relationship again but whether it's friends or work, I have never been destroyed by relationships ending since. I have ended things at the right time and without regret. It made me quite wise in terms of my emotional health I'd say. I have also realised that I had been very much breaking up with him as he broke up with me then.

Stoika,
Your words make me want to hug you so real and so long! I feel so much for what you describe.
I think you are having at this like a queen (rockstar, now queen, you're climbing UP that ladder, love ) and I am sure that in time that love will come back to you and you will be free to give it to whomever you please (or to keep it to yourself).

I feel similarly in terms of harvesting the Pluto love for self improvement and becoming a better person for it, I used to not think of myself, I still have loads of issues but I know I'm such a good person now

@Luna All gold, this post, if there are any such helps to get over a break-up, these are those.

---

Hi Moonbeth, I'm speechless! You described what I'm going through so well, I could recognize myself completely in how you have dealt with this... I'm just still in the process, and I have no idea if or when I am going to leave this all behind and find myself again, all those things you said you found again and that were just "yours"... But the drive and motivation this love has given me actually saved my life, even though I have been struggling for not being loved back, but like you I was able to face my issues through this, and also to endure a longtime severe health condition which had destroyed my life, and it also gave me the strenght and inspiration to write a book after my health condition has prevented me to keep playing music... so, the crazy thing was that while I was deeply hurt by the fact that I could not be with him, at the same time I couldnt stop loving him and any time I forced myself to let this go, I was doing much worse, losing all my strenght, motivation, creative inspiration... it all was connected by this powerful love that has helped me to survive against my physical sickness and depression, like if it had given me new life and I could not betray it. Like you, I have been analyzing myself again and again, to undertstand the real reason why I could not let this go, questioning myself, trying to rationalize, I have become aware of all the issues and roots of this, but eventually it just didn't prevent me to keep loving this person and I just had to surrender and accept all the good that was coming from this... Even though I saw him with another girlfriend who has become his wife last week... what I feel for him never changed yet. I know that my wish is impossible to come true and that I have no hope, maybe after two longtime rs that were very painful I have learnt to love someone without asking nothing back... or maybe this is just a lie to myself to heal the pain, but eventually I will learn to love someone else one day in the same true way as Winne said, and the main thing is what you accomplish, not what you lose, you know what I mean? Thank you so much for sharing your story and my story, hope Winne doesnt mind and that this can help her as well !!! Big hugs to you ❤️❤️❤️

posted August 10, 2019 07:18 PM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by Caprika:
Moonbeth

What your synastry was like with your ex?
You said his Pluto conjuncted your Mars, how close was the aspect? What did Saturn do in your synastry? The Nodes? I'm curious now

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posted August 10, 2019 07:26 PM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stoika7:
Hi Moonbeth, I'm speechless! You described what I'm going through so well, I could recognize myself completely in how you have dealt with this... I'm just still in the process, and I have no idea if or when I am going to leave this all behind and find myself again, all those things you said you found again and that were just "yours"... But the drive and motivation this love has given me actually saved my life, even though I have been struggling for not being loved back, but like you I was able to face my issues through this, and also to endure a longtime severe health condition which had destroyed my life, and it also gave me the strenght and inspiration to write a book after my health condition has prevented me to keep playing music... so, the crazy thing was that while I was deeply hurt by the fact that I could not be with him, at the same time I couldnt stop loving him and any time I forced myself to let this go, I was doing much worse, losing all my strenght, motivation, creative inspiration... it all was connected by this powerful love that has helped me to survive against my physical sickness and depression, like if it had given me new life and I could not betray it. Like you, I have been analyzing myself again and again, to undertstand the real reason why I could not let this go, questioning myself, trying to rationalize, I have become aware of all the issues and roots of this, but eventually it just didn't prevent me to keep loving this person and I just had to surrender and accept all the good that was coming from this... Even though I saw him with another girlfriend who has become his wife last week... what I feel for him never changed yet. I know that my wish is impossible to come true and that I have no hope, maybe after two longtime rs that were very painful I have learnt to love someone without asking nothing back... or maybe this is just a lie to myself to heal the pain, but eventually I will learn to love someone else one day in the same true way as Winne said, and the main thing is what you accomplish, not what you lose, you know what I mean? Thank you so much for sharing your story and my story, hope Winne doesnt mind and that this can help her as well !!! Big hugs to you ❤️❤️❤️

---

Awww Stoika ❤️❤️❤️
I feel you so much! I do think it can help Winnie, I certainly would have felt supported and greatly helped if anyone had understood why I needed to get to the bottom of this to get through it, instead of trying to shove silly girls' nights out on me lol

You're SO strong, I would have died to hear him marry someone else, this must feel so heavy... you know, I think the bottom of this Pluto thing is that we cling on to those loves because they feel to us as Love. Once you realise this is just one love and not all your ideals of true love, it's easier to let go.
Though, as I was telling you about that synatry that you read for me, once you have had Pluto love, or you have Pluto emotions, nothing shy of that intensity will really rattle you. I like to think of it as a healthy thing. Some are made for sweet venus and trines love and 7th house domestic order, others are made for passionate love stories in the English moors, and all the shades in between lol

Happiness is for everyone, you especially ❤️❤️❤️

posted August 10, 2019 07:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Moonbeth:

Made you another thread with all the charts and data to quench your curiosity so as not to clutter Winnie's
The Synastry had a couple of lovely aspects but the composite was pure horse shite lol

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posted August 10, 2019 10:46 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LunaIscariot:
Stoika; interested to see your charts with this guy that you’re still crazy about 3 years later! Very interesting since that’s rare

Please post 😊

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Hi LunaIscariot, thank you so much for offering to check the chart! Of course I'd love your insight! I will post a new thread for you, if you wish, so that Winner can get more support here! 💕

posted August 11, 2019 02:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Guys typically tend to catch on late when it comes to breakups.

For most guys, they break up today and throw a party for a week. The following month/months later, the tears start to come.The grief is delayed.

---

posted August 17, 2019 10:57 AM            

I can see that since we've broken up, he still cares for me and he's still obsessed with me. He wants to help me fix my things. He tried to find ways so we could be together as a team at some projects at work, and we can go out together. He is just like how he used to except the romance thing. I guess he's just too tired and afraid of our intensity. Too intense and draining.

But its hard to stay friends. I was trying so hard to stay calm and collected. I managed to be good friends with him, until these few days I have seen him so many times with the girl I wrote above. she is Scorpio Sun, Cancer Moon, Scorpio Mercury . She lives near his house, and manages to go home every single day with him. I smell that she's kinda manipulative. It hurts me a lot when she does things in order to get me away from him in purpose so she gets closer to him. I'm crying typing this. She knows that he likes me. why is she so mean. Its painful.

When we were still in the relationship, I used to tell him how jealous i was if he was close to her. But he kept telling me that she's no more than just a friend. But now we are no longer in relationship, I cant do anything. I cant tell him to stay away from her (well, who am i?) But to see him with her getting closer killing me.

I want to get some advices from you guys personal experiences. I know in order to get out of this plutonic relationship is by cutting everything off. But in my case, I Just CAN'T. Like everything i said above, i work with him and i cant change job. In my case, what should i do?

I really want to tell him to stay away from her. or at least dont go home every single day with her. or please consider my feeling (?) I know it's too childish. But I am the person who wants to talk everything out to clear things out, is it because of my sun & mercury in leo. But I just need to talk it out. But should i talk to him?? If i dont talk and speak it out, I feel this burden in my chest. If i just ignore him, like he's dead or like I never had a thing with him, He would stay away from me and in purpose trying to get even closer with her. It also hurts me a lot. What to do 😭