posted November 09, 2005 11:57 PM         

My roommate is from hell, we'll call her "B." My other roommate, "C" and I are driven insane by her. I had to move across country and I didn't get to meet her until I had already signed a lease. Heres some of the things she does:

-She constantly complains about any aspect/dirt in the kitchen. She once said to me "you forgot to wring out the dishsponge, thats a high crime in my court"

-She sits in the kitchen all day and comments on what i'm doing, asks if i washed this or that etc.

-She keeps the house freezingly cold, and tells you to turn off any light you leave off for a second.

-Her and her boyfriend set up shop in the kitchen on weekends, I can't really get to the stove to cook or anything.

-She drops criticisms about me waking up past noon, or that I like to watch a certain show when i eat lunch, "You're at it again?" she says.

-She could pretty much care less about anything you have to say, doesn't ever ask me how i'm doing.

-She had a conflict with "c" about the rent and when it was due. C left for a few days and when she got back, B sais "were you happy to be gone or did you miss us at all?," folowed by "oh were you with your sex friend?"

-Today I got a call while in the library studying to ask if the dishes in the dishwasher were clean, yes i said i washed them last night, she redid them anyway and put a sign on the dishwasher that sais "clean"

It's dreadful coming home and thinking how I can't even cook a meal without being nagged/criticized. As maybe you can tell I'm a bit distraught about this, I've always had great roommate, and I keep to myself and am clean as a housemate. I keep telling myself that shes a miserable person and I should pity her, but its just hard when her misery overflows so strongly into my life. I've tried to raise the energy in the house with plants, a bit of magik, but nothing has worked, this person is a love black hole....

posted November 10, 2005 12:28 AM         

"c" sounds miserably hormonal... like me. but i'm pregnant. i hate to say this, but she sounds like a virgo in a very bad place emotionally.

if i were you i would confront her
she sounds like a real biitch. does she think she is your mother or what?

posted November 10, 2005 12:39 PM         

I would look for another place to live ASAP. Let karma take care of your roommate and let it go. You take care of yourself first.

Sending happy thoughts to ya.

posted November 10, 2005 01:45 PM         

people have all sorts of theories regarding karma..

posted November 10, 2005 02:24 PM         

------------------
Gemini sun, Cancer rising, mercury in Gemini, moon in Taurus *29, venus in Taurus, mars in Libra

posted November 10, 2005 03:18 PM         

Plus I am very defensive lmfao.

------------------
Gemini sun, Cancer rising, mercury in Gemini, moon in Taurus *29, venus in Taurus, mars in Libra

posted November 10, 2005 04:03 PM         

I lived with my bf and two pigs. My bf and i would clean the house, only to have the other two come home and not say thank you, or looks nice etc. They would trash the house faster than we could clean it. They then began to expect that from us. In which at that time, i gave up. I cleaned my mess and that was it. This place was soo soo sooo freakin bad. Dishes piled high to the cabinets above the sink, molding and everything. Try to cook anything in the kitchen and bugs would crawl outta the woodwork at the very smell or sight of food. I stepped into their bedroom to find a pair of jeans she had borrowed from me (never found them) but while trying to wade thru their room (junk up to the knees spread everywhere) to find these, i saw a bag and picked it up to see if anything was under neath it - i found maggots!!! no kiddin. And they slept in there. It was then that i told my BF i will do anything to get outta this place. We didnt have alot of money (lol - we were eating military rations from the early 80's we were so poor) but we made it work and it was the best thing that ever coulda happened (moving and living there) it made me realise allot of things ... top of the list was, how important it is to have a clean house. Im some what of a neat freak now. The girl would get in the shower at late at night and still be in there at 6am ... there were days i couldnt even shower prior to work. They just had no respect for their room mates. - us. We would go out and buy food on our tight lil budget and stocked the fridge. Only to go get something and everything we bought was gone or most of it. While their stuff sat in the fridge. We finally bought stuff we could stock on the shelves in our bedroom and lock the door. It was a horrible experience. That was the one and only time i had room-mates. So i feel for you and your uncomfortable situation.

Love and light to you!!

posted November 10, 2005 06:33 PM         

I am saying to pick one's battles. I personally have lived with someone who was very similar this particular person's personality. It is not easy to compromise and rationalize with such a individual that sometimes one wonders if it is just an ego trip to keep pursuing down that alley, some imagined feat of heroism of turning around what is obviously a deeply ingrained neurosis (calling someone to check if the dishes in the dishwasher are done? please ).

I would rather reserve my emotional resources for other challenges. Fighting over living spaces and lifestyles just seems not worth it to me when there are plenty of opportunities to meet other more compatible people. But this is just a personal choice I would make for myself in this situation and I wouldn't necessarily use this as foresight of doomed, gloomy things to come.

posted November 10, 2005 07:15 PM         

But after that I lived with a Gemini (leo asc, virgo moon) and she was SOOO annoying. She's two-faced and talked behind my back. We had many personality clashes. She even called my best friend up after kicking me out and said that she needed to tell me to get my stuff out. Apparently, she's afraid of me or something. Pfft, she accused ME of stealing money from her when I have never stolen a thing in my life. I'm not trying to put down any Geminis, a lot of my good friends are Geminis. She's got a lot of problems though, and would constantly tell me my life is going nowhere, I'm screwing it up. She would scream at me for eating her food, even when I bought groceries, and paid her back and she would tell everyone I owed her more money than I actually did.

posted November 10, 2005 07:35 PM         

I'd get rude. I'm like you - totally passive, but it doesn't mean I can't be a b!tch. She calls you about whether or not the dishes are clean, tell her to look at them, and get off the phone as soon as possible. "You're at it again?" Don't say a word, watch the tv, and turn up it's volume.

posted November 10, 2005 08:50 PM         

And tell her to lay off. Seriously. If she's so annoyed at everything about you, perhaps she's not the kind of person who can live with room-mates. Suggest that to her. Say something like " you're the kind of person who likes to be in control of everything about your home. Maybe you shouldn't even try to live with other people. It must be very frustrating and draining for you. I know it's frustrating for us"

It's like saying "this isn't working for us, and if anyone has to go, it's YOU"

Good luck, Blue Roamer - let us know how it goes, ok?

angle of hope, that sounds like an extremely awful situation. I'm sorry you had to go through that!

posted November 10, 2005 08:55 PM         

"-She constantly complains about any aspect/dirt in the kitchen. She once said to me "you forgot to wring out the dishsponge, thats a high crime in my court"

Optional: Next time she says something like this, fall on the floor and laugh as hard as you can

Then tell her that there are more important things in life to worry about and she needs to get off your back.

Is she aware there are millions of orphans in Africa, as well as families and generations of slaves in Africa? Starving people?

There is so much to learn in the world; governements, geography, animal species & evolution, culture, astronomy, etc.? Is she aware she is wasting her energy on trivial thins while she could be expanding and growing as a human being?

"She sits in the kitchen all day and comments on what i'm doing, asks if i washed this or that etc."

Next few times you walk into the kitchen, wear headphones of a discman, walkman, or ipod? (sorry, I'm outdated) and just ignore her, smiling and humming to your music.

Is there any way you and C can get together and talk to the landlord and tell him/her how unbearable she is? Any way to boot her out? Any way to sit down the 3 of you and just point blank tell her that she is overbearing?

If you are up to it, you can send her lots and lots of positive energy and visualize her saying only positive things to you and C. I know it's hard, and it takes a lot to do that, but it should work.

posted November 10, 2005 09:01 PM         

My vote is maturely and politely stand up to her, in a humerous, light, but yet firm tone.

posted November 10, 2005 09:25 PM         

AG i use the same tactics you do, I do things like turn the TV up really loud or I just become silent. (this is a very capricorn resopnse) BUT it's not working.
I do have to learn to stand up for myself AND for others.

Thanks so much for your reponses they are GREATLY appreciated

posted November 10, 2005 09:38 PM         

I have a roommate who has literally annoyed every friend and acquaintance I've ever met of his. His own mom comes to town, and her and I talk about how much a pain in the @ss he is. She loves me (She's a Sag).

You've got to develop a coping mechanism, and chances are it will require heavy doses of rudeness, because she believes it's perfectly ok to act the way she does. Clearly it's not.

How you deal with it depends on your personality. You said that you're passive. That's cool. There's nothing stating that you MUST be assertive. I personally ignore my roommate quite a bit. I've walked away from him. I've shown him numerous times in expression and manner that I'm not interested in his stories or what he has to say about just about anything under the sun. I've even taken away things that I do out of kindness like letting him borrow my car or internet access.

You do need to gain equal footing somehow, though. You can't let her continue on believing that she runs the place or your life for that matter. She's not going to change, so you need to establish some boundaries.

I'm also afraid that if she truly nags about the damn light every time, then you may just need to take up that habit. If you're leaving the room and coming right back then it's very defensable, but if you just leave lights on all over the place for no reason it becomes a little tough to defend.