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Topic: I think I'm done with Scorpio men...
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virgoscorpio Knowflake Posts: 29 From: Registered: Aug 2018
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posted October 16, 2018 01:57 PM
So I have always been drawn to Scorpio men like a moth to a candle. It's problem my Scorpio moon conjunct Pluto that likes their intensity. I recently got out of a relationship with a man who has Scorpio Sun, Mercury, Venus, and Jupiter in Scorpio. I've recently started hanging out with a guy who has Sun, Moon, Mercury, and Saturn in Scorpio (here's his chart in another thread if you want to look http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum35/HTML/008237.html What drives me crazy about Scorpio men is the minute they start getting feelings they either disappear or act like they have no feelings at all. With my last relationship, it took me a good six months of him going back and forth deciding how he felt and if he wanted to continue the relationship. Now the same thing is starting to happen with the new guy, even though I made it clear we are just hanging out as friends and taking things slow. I just really don't have the patience to go through the Scorpio hot and cold thing again. Has anyone successfully survived the Scorpio early relationship period? It takes more patience than I have at the moment. Do any of you ladies think Scorpio men are worth the early relationship games? Sorry if I'm offending any Scorpio men in the group.
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margym0o Knowflake Posts: 1112 From: Canada Registered: Jul 2014
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posted October 16, 2018 02:07 PM
How old are the men you are pursuing? I only ask because this sounds to me more like the "millennial disease" where game-playing and non-committal attitudes are the norm rather than anything astrologically based. The rules of dating really are quite simple and they've never changed. If someone is really interested in you, they will pursue you...PERIOD. If he's willing to risk losing you with his wishy washy behaviour then clearly he doesn't care about you as much as you imagine he does. Words mean virtually nothing...actions are EVERYTHING. If you want to tie this back to astrology, then read the Scorpio behaviour as black and white. Scorpios aren't ones to put themselves out there for fear of being hurt. If they are genuinely into you, they will certainly try to claim you as their one and only. Scorpios are actually very loyal IME to people they've bonded with. IP: Logged |
virgoscorpio Knowflake Posts: 29 From: Registered: Aug 2018
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posted October 16, 2018 02:15 PM
All the Scorpio men I have dated are in their mid thirties. I have read that the hot and cold thing is specifically a Scorpio thing, but once they commit they are very committed. But man, it is beyond challenging at the beginning, at least in my experience. IP: Logged |
hypatia238 Moderator Posts: 10534 From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode Registered: Sep 2014
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posted October 16, 2018 03:25 PM
Yeah they are crazy JKThey have this strong instinct to protect themselves and are distrustful specially when you have venus in scorpio at fall and moon in scorpio too is a tough placement, I wonder how much they are mirroring your own issues as well. Probably your own distrust issues are triggering their distrust issues and so the dance begins. Pain. But is your davison with him plutonic itself?! Can you post Davison? IP: Logged |
hypatia238 Moderator Posts: 10534 From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode Registered: Sep 2014
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posted October 16, 2018 03:31 PM
quote: Originally posted by margym0o: How old are the men you are pursuing? I only ask because this sounds to me more like the "millennial disease" where game-playing and non-committal attitudes are the norm rather than anything astrologically based.
I hear they call them "Fu*kboys"
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CuriousV Knowflake Posts: 245 From: Registered: Feb 2015
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posted October 16, 2018 03:33 PM
Ha, a story of my life, for the most part anyways....Being a Scorp ASC and having Venus in Scorpio, I am very drawn to Scorp men...there is some unspoken intensity and depth that I guess those with Scorp placements intuitively feel. My ex husband was one and after we divorced I vowed to never date one again. Then a few years back, I had a period where I was just attracting Scorps left and right. A couple of them were with exactly the same placements as you described. And yes, their tendencies of blowing hot/cold were exactly what you've experienced...it got to the point, where I just had to cut them out of my life. One in particular - just blocked him because I was so sick of the back and forth, here but not really here type of stuff...But now looking back, I tend to agree with what Margym said...I think it's more of a maturity level and where they are emotionally than anything else. To me, if you are interested in someone, you will not play this cat and mouse game, and that's coming from me who considers herself being a very private, cautious and wary of showing her vulnerability to others. I understand Scorps very well and the idea of being so deeply connected to someone and giving your heart to another person while having this unconscious fear on the back of your mind that they will hurt you at some point is very scary. But at the same time Scorps can't help but long for that deep, down to the bone connection with someone and they ultimately give into that feeling, even if slowly... I would caution you to look at these men's behavior and see it for what it is. Some can be down right narcissists which is very hard to spot at first because they play this game and it's oh so enticing... PS All Scorps I've dealt with were in their late 30's, early 40's IP: Logged |
Lalafortunaea Knowflake Posts: 844 From: Registered: Jul 2017
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posted October 16, 2018 03:37 PM
Interesting! I was just thinking, recently, how much I LOVE SCORPIO especially Scorpio stelliums! Have been the best relationships of my life. I think they're lovely, bubbly, and cute. You have to really love them deep in your heart!I think if they (the Scorpio heavy individual), feels rejection from you, they will recoil, energetically. I mean, while I am not belittling your feelings, the very title of this thread indicates how you feel. You are, on some level, repelling them, and this thread reflects feelings that have been buried in you quite some time, possibly, and are surfacing. And when I say repelling them, I mean the BETTER Scorpios. The ones you describe sound immature, and, again, how we feel will show us what we'll attract. With you having Scorpio moon, you, too, have your own scorpion energy to learn about and love, and dig deep into your inner darkness and accept it. We can't control how everyone behaves, but we can control how WE behave, what OUR standards are, and that, in turn, WILL have an effect on how others feel about us! Check out the conversation about Scorpio in this thread: http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum35/HTML/008233.html IP: Logged |
CuriousV Knowflake Posts: 245 From: Registered: Feb 2015
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posted October 16, 2018 03:54 PM
Yeah Scorpio stelliums are great...IF you can handle the intensity and the mind f&$ckery, lol. They take relationship forming phase to another level. It's like how many times do you need to see/hear that a person is really interested in you? The fear of rejection and being hurt is unreal. Yet, they crave that deep bond. It's a paradox in a way. We all have been there, burned and crushed to the ground. So to me, if you want that deep emotional connection and trust, you need to give that in return and not just expect for the other person to constantly show you their affection and jumping through all the hoops and all kinds of "tests" to see if they REALLY are worthy your time, love and devotion. Again, even for me being a Virgo sun/Cap moon with Scorp placements that type of MO is too much and I have no patience for it.IP: Logged |
virgoscorpio Knowflake Posts: 29 From: Registered: Aug 2018
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posted October 16, 2018 04:05 PM
This is all very helpful information because you have all given me a lot of insight into myself in relationships. It is true I get anxious and insecure in a relationship at the beginning, and the Scorpio hot and cold thing just makes my insecurities so much worse. Hypatia here is the Davison. It looks Plutonic to me with the Moon, Saturn, and Pluto in Scorpio. What do you think? The tough part for me is that I really liked this guy but now I'm not sure if it's worth pursuing. IP: Logged |
virgoscorpio Knowflake Posts: 29 From: Registered: Aug 2018
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posted October 16, 2018 04:05 PM
Sorry forgot to add the Davison link: IP: Logged |
hypatia238 Moderator Posts: 10534 From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode Registered: Sep 2014
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posted October 16, 2018 04:09 PM
I joke but the lover that loved me the hardest and unconditionally was a scorpio with a scorpio stellium (with moon square neptune) and the person I have felt loved the hardest by has sun conjunct uranus in scorpio with mercury in scorpio (with moon in pisces square neptune trine sun) and my partner has mars conjunct uranus conjunct DC in scorpio and loves me truly unconditionally ( with moon in cancer aspect sun) and I have Venus conjunct Mars in the 8th, valentine, eros, vertex in the 8th all in Leo and moon ruling the 8th and I love very hard and unconditionally too (moon in pisces square neptune aspect sun). IME you have to catch their attention unconditionally and fully from the start, if they are ambivalent from the start it carries forward and you two are just wasting time. Or you lose their trust at some point and then the hot and cold begins which is really the end IMO. IP: Logged |
hypatia238 Moderator Posts: 10534 From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode Registered: Sep 2014
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posted October 16, 2018 04:15 PM
quote: Originally posted by virgoscorpio: Sorry forgot to add the Davison link:
This explains more the hot and cold, your Chart ruler is URANUS! But Uranus trines the SUN exact (ruler of the DC) wow which indicates this is an important relationship indeed, when chart ruler aspects sun is a soulmate marker. But yes moon in scorpio square jupiter in aquarius feels like you will never feel secure in this relationship so is probably not worth it tbh. Too much suspicion and unpredictability, this is how the relationship feels to both of you (it feels unpredictable), no wonder the hot and cold is taking place...it feels like at any moment it could end or betrayal could happen with that placement (it feels like it emotionally that is, not safe/secure). Your moon in scorpio needs a davison with Moon in Taurus aspect Jupiter perhaps, something that feels more grounded and secure. IP: Logged |
virgoscorpio Knowflake Posts: 29 From: Registered: Aug 2018
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posted October 16, 2018 04:31 PM
Ok thanks Hypatia!IP: Logged |
Aries23Degrees Knowflake Posts: 6296 From: South Africa Registered: Dec 2012
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posted October 16, 2018 05:25 PM
quote: Originally posted by virgoscorpio: So I have always been drawn to Scorpio men like a moth to a candle. It's problem my Scorpio moon conjunct Pluto that likes their intensity. I recently got out of a relationship with a man who has Scorpio Sun, Mercury, Venus, and Jupiter in Scorpio. I've recently started hanging out with a guy who has Sun, Moon, Mercury, and Saturn in Scorpio. What drives me crazy about Scorpio men is the minute they start getting feelings they either disappear or act like they have no feelings at all. With my last relationship, it took me a good six months of him going back and forth deciding how he felt and if he wanted to continue the relationship. Now the same thing is starting to happen with the new guy, even though I made it clear we are just hanging out as friends and taking things slow. I just really don't have the patience to go through the Scorpio hot and cold thing again. Has anyone successfully survived the Scorpio early relationship period? It takes more patience than I have at the moment. Do any of you ladies think Scorpio men are worth the early relationship games? Sorry if I'm offending any Scorpio men in the group.
There is a huge momentum of feelings that are involved when people fall in love. With Scorpio energy,love can be so overwhelming and can take over their life. This is also true with Pisces,Leo energy. But when the latter open up and give ,give,give etc. The former(Scorpio) has the unconscious memory of abandonment. The more Scorpio falls, the more insecure they get because they cannot control the elements i.e. what happens to me when this person I love dies? Who will I depend on when my pillar of strength leaves me? What happens to my feelings when the one whom I professed to love,falls out of love with me? So deep are these insecurities that sometimes even violent thoughts protrude(especially when within a "loving" relationship). Up to a point where one(Sco) can go mad with rage of an unspoken but ever present threat of separation, loss or abandonment. Detachment from the one you adore, trying to minimize through increasing distance between you and them, being secretive and evasive about your feelings etc. Are but ways(albeit juvenile) for one(Sco) to try and neutralize the momentous force of these feelings once caught. When water signs love. It is not easy for them to detach and "move on". Because even when they hate, there is still engagement and love. Water is uncontainable, complex, deep energy. Many people say isht like " I want someone to make me the centre of their world". Then Scorpio comes along and does just that and the next thing you hear from the same person is :"I feel suffocated by you and so I am leaving you".Thus completing the outcome of Scorpio's worst fears of being abandoned. I am not excusing the behaviour. Just trying to rationalize the cause. As some Scorpio's are able to open up when someone they love prods them to. But it takes time. Taurus' unhurried, steady it goes,same today, tomorrow and always. Is the deep assurance to Scorpio that dependability exists. That is why an attraction exists between them. Because Taurus innately "gets" the need for Scorpio to depend on someone with their life(because Taurus wants that too). And when Taurus says "here I stay". No force on earth can move them. An this assures the inwardly bubbling waters of Scorpios imagined insecurities to somewhat subside over time. Cap is another steady boat that does not squirm away from Scorpios intensity. Though Cap is somewhat restrained and cooler in response(which may initially frustrate the intense Scorpio), the Cap understands the complexities of feeling secure enough to love securely when change can happen. Scorpio grows to love the understated approach of Cap i.e. slow to start. But secure, steady and profound as time goes on. If you keep steady and consistent, fixed energy gets attracted to you. And if you don't buy what is displayed on the surface of Scorpio, Scorpio let's you in deeper Don't worry about those who disappear on you. Be steady within yourself and one that is more to your level will come along. IP: Logged |
hypatia238 Moderator Posts: 10534 From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode Registered: Sep 2014
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posted October 16, 2018 07:23 PM
Great analysis Aries23! "Detachment from the one you adore, trying to minimize through increasing distance between you and them, being secretive and evasive about your feelings etc. Are but ways(albeit juvenile) for one(Sco) to try and neutralize the momentous force of these feelings once caught." ^^with my ex I feel things felt apart when I was the most in love, we had reached a new peak I felt of our feelings for each other and then that started happening.. "Many people say isht like " I want someone to make me the centre of their world". Then Scorpio comes along and does just that and the next thing you hear from the same person is :"I feel suffocated by you and so I am leaving you".Thus completing the outcome of Scorpio's worst fears of being abandoned. awwwwwwww so sad, I feel so much compassion for them right now but what you are saying is so true. I don't see many scorpio and taurus couples though, I am not saying they don't happen but I don't see that combo come up frequently. IP: Logged |
hypatia238 Moderator Posts: 10534 From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode Registered: Sep 2014
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posted October 16, 2018 11:29 PM
I am not done with them but taking a long as* break from them yes. Exploring other signs for now. IP: Logged |
virgoscorpio Knowflake Posts: 29 From: Registered: Aug 2018
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posted October 17, 2018 07:33 AM
I'm thinking a nice, stable Taurus or Capricorn might be right up my alley. I do really hit it off with Aries though, since their suns fall in my 11th house and my north node usually conjuncts their suns. IP: Logged |
kirki Knowflake Posts: 319 From: Registered: Aug 2014
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posted October 17, 2018 09:15 AM
Im laughing with what aries said about taurus...no force on earth can move them when they say i stay.So true for me and i only have one earth ,fixed sign,sun in taurus.Thats why i have a great contact with my ex bfs and i enjoy it.IP: Logged |
hypatia238 Moderator Posts: 10534 From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode Registered: Sep 2014
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posted October 17, 2018 09:34 AM
quote: Originally posted by virgoscorpio: I'm thinking a nice, stable Taurus or Capricorn might be right up my alley. I do really hit it off with Aries though, since their suns fall in my 11th house and my north node usually conjuncts their suns.
Sun in Taurus men often cheat, not saying all but without a doubt there is a high tendency of them cheating. IP: Logged |
margym0o Knowflake Posts: 1112 From: Canada Registered: Jul 2014
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posted October 17, 2018 09:52 AM
quote: Originally posted by hypatia238: I don't see many scorpio and taurus couples though, I am not saying they don't happen but I don't see that combo come up frequently.
I only know one Scorpio/Taurus Sun couple actually so there is some truth to that - maybe the ego clash is too intense since it is fixed energy? Their relationship was rocky at the start but they have been together over a decade now and finally "came together" at one point a few years ago. What I do see WAY more often is Scorpio/Taurus MOON couples...and more often that not in long-term relationships. Myself included so perhaps I'm biased...but my sister-in-law/brother-in-law are the same combo, and another couple I know who are high school sweethearts (both couples over a decade together). Maybe the fixed Moon energy is more comforting?
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Aries23Degrees Knowflake Posts: 6296 From: South Africa Registered: Dec 2012
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posted October 17, 2018 11:30 AM
I think what I meant to emphasize here is not necessarily the Sun in Taurus energy in the strict sense of the word. But Taurus energy holistically.So I mean Taurus stellium, 2nd house stellium, Taurus Moon or a chart with strong fixed/earth energy. I also don't see many Taurus/Scorpio in the strict Sun energy sense of the word. True. But I do see it more in the cumulative essence of the chart in question. A lovely couple where I worked were married for 30 years. And she is Sag Sun(shock horror!!!)and he is Scorpio Sun and Scorpio Moon. I struggled to find the lady's birthdays because she didn't want anyone knowing her age. But eventually i found it. Her NN,Moon,Jupiter and Mars are in Taurus. And there is definitely that serene, calm "Marlena Evans(Days of our lives)" vibe about her. Beautiful woman really. And her husband always frightened me with his intense eyes and imposing physique lol. But since her colleagues have known her, the husband picks her up for lunch EVERY day and drops her off. On days where he can't make it, they chat on the phone till her lunch break is over. He adores her. One can see it in the way he treats her. IP: Logged |
Dumuzi Knowflake Posts: 140 From: Registered: Oct 2018
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posted October 17, 2018 11:58 AM
i'm engaged to a woman with a scorpio stellium (in tropical it's her mercury, venus/conjunct pluto... in sidereal it's her sun, saturn, uranus, and mercury and her venus/conjunct pluto moves to libra) halloween will be our 14 year anniversary, we've lived together for 13 years, and i've known her for about 20 (most of our lives) hate to break it to you, but it never ends the good times are really good though
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Dumuzi Knowflake Posts: 140 From: Registered: Oct 2018
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posted October 17, 2018 12:12 PM
quote: Originally posted by Aries23Degrees: I think what I meant to emphasize here is not necessarily the Sun in Taurus energy in the strict sense of the word. But Taurus energy holistically.So I mean Taurus stellium, 2nd house stellium, Taurus Moon or a chart with strong fixed/earth energy. I also don't see many Taurus/Scorpio in the strict Sun energy sense of the word. True. But I do see it more in the cumulative essence of the chart in question. A lovely couple where I worked were married for 30 years. And she is Sag Sun(shock horror!!!)and he is Scorpio Sun and Scorpio Moon. I struggled to find the lady's birthdays because she didn't want anyone knowing her age. But eventually i found it. Her NN,Moon,Jupiter and Mars are in Taurus. And there is definitely that serene, calm "Marlena Evans(Days of our lives)" vibe about her. Beautiful woman really. And her husband always frightened me with his intense eyes and imposing physique lol. But since her colleagues have known her, the husband picks her up for lunch EVERY day and drops her off. On days where he can't make it, they chat on the phone till her lunch break is over. He adores her. One can see it in the way he treats her.
interesting that you mention this my fiancee always calls or texts me during her lunch break except when ive been able to meet up with her and take her somewhere for lunch instead even if she doesnt get much of a chance to talk there's always an "i love you" at the very least we "break up" frequently, but that usually only lasts an hour or so and it's the normal course of a fight with her longest was a weird 2 weeks where we were "broken up" but still living together, having sex etc and she was still telling me she wanted a life with me in the future but was just in this dramatic self destructive head space and spiting me for some stuff that happened in the past we've been through a lot together, which is impressive on one hand but also with a scorpio is sort of... well i'm 32 and i've gotten yelled at for things i did when i was 18 less than a week ago
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margym0o Knowflake Posts: 1112 From: Canada Registered: Jul 2014
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posted October 17, 2018 12:16 PM
quote: Originally posted by Dumuzi: we "break up" frequently, but that usually only lasts an hour or so and it's the normal course of a fight with herlongest was a weird 2 weeks where we were "broken up" but still living together, having sex etc and she was still telling me she wanted a life with me in the future but was just in this dramatic self destructive head space and spiting me for some stuff that happened in the past we've been through a lot together, which is impressive on one hand but also with a scorpio is sort of... well i'm 32 and i've gotten yelled at for things i did when i was 18 less than a week ago
Wow...this is embarrassing to admit but your experience with her is eerily similar to my fiance's experience with me LOL I can tell you despite all of that she will probably NEVER stop loving you and it's just her weird way of processing her emotions...if you've stuck by her through all of that then you're likely bonded for life, my friend! It's the Scorpio way, test test test... Do you mind posting your charts? Synastry and composite?
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margym0o Knowflake Posts: 1112 From: Canada Registered: Jul 2014
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posted October 17, 2018 12:19 PM
quote: Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
A lovely couple where I worked were married for 30 years. And she is Sag Sun(shock horror!!!)and he is Scorpio Sun and Scorpio Moon.I struggled to find the lady's birthdays because she didn't want anyone knowing her age. But eventually i found it. Her NN,Moon,Jupiter and Mars are in Taurus. And there is definitely that serene, calm "Marlena Evans(Days of our lives)" vibe about her. Beautiful woman really. And her husband always frightened me with his intense eyes and imposing physique lol. But since her colleagues have known her, the husband picks her up for lunch EVERY day and drops her off. On days where he can't make it, they chat on the phone till her lunch break is over. He adores her. One can see it in the way he treats her.
What a beautiful story! Interesting about their charts...have you seen their composite? When I hear things like this I usually think Sun-Venus or Moon-Venus or maybe even strong Mercury contacts in synastry to promote that adoring "I just like the heck out of ya" vibe. ETA I know you probably don't have her birth time but maybe her Taurus stellium is in her 8th? Or at least one of her major planets...that would give the Scorpionic affinity? For example, my dad's Taurus Moon is square Pluto and my mom's Aries Sun is in her 8th... IP: Logged | |