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Author
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Topic: one can ever say "My Scorpio"?
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sthenri
unregistered
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posted January 26, 2005 11:40 AM
 
Thank you Maya:>GeminiAries, you forgot what I said earlier,
you have to make your needs clear and get him to agree with them, not the other way around. He will never tell you what he wants because he doesn't know, and probably never will. He is a Scorpio, ruled by the 8th house, which wants to meld into his significant other and not think about all that stuff. He needs his mate to do the unemotional nitty gritty work of the relationship. So getting him to tell you what he wants, is not going to work, his emotions will be worked up. Just lay out a plan for him, it's not too complicated..you want to live with him, wake up with every day, make his coffee, get him to come home to you and you alone everyday..what's scary about that? If he moves you can go with him and vice versa? If he is scared of that, tell him you are not scared, and be firm. Keep this separate from the making love part as it's not part of the negotiation, but make sure you get your needs heard by him, and he is agreeing, not just nodding his head, you know? You are not asking for a huge deal at first, just ask for what you really need, let the wants and wishes and desires sit on the back burner for a while, you will always have those.. He is not scared of living with you, Scorpios love living with their partners, he is scared of your fear of the future with him, your faith is needed. Take Care,
Natasha
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GeminiAries
unregistered
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posted January 26, 2005 12:53 PM
natasha- God your Good. He finally called last night. Yes, after doing all the calling these past few weeks. He called.......me back. He was so pleasant on the phone I didnt keep him long on the phone just the regular conversation. He hinted that his schedule was free this week. I know it was my oppertunity to ask him over for dinner but once again I was soooo intimidated and scared to. Next time I will. I get what your saying, but, isnt rushing a bit too soon in letting him know that I want to take things seriously. I will be firm with him, He is alwasy saying that word to me, FAITH, please have FAITH. I now understand.
Last night was such a big deal for me I cried of happiness that he called. I fell asleep at 5AM- I want so much to be in a serious relationship with him, but scaring him is so scary to me. I agree with you, I plan to be a bit more suzy home maker from now on for him. He loves to be taken care of. IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Newflake Posts: 8
From: ON Canada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 26, 2005 01:25 PM
GemAries~
Oh.
I don't want to go into this too much, as I recall a while ago, how hard it was to incorporate his mind games into some semblance of reality for you.
You love him. Whether he deserves it or not, you do. I hope somehow this works out for you.. but needing someone with so much desperation behind it doesn't generally work out for either party.
I don't know how this aspect could be purified... how can you see him with worship sunglasses on, in any reasonable light? How does that translate to the reral world, where he has been cold and distant, and stringing you along for whatever reason he has.... whether he truly loves.. but isn't able to express it... or doesn't really know....
I hope there is something in this that has you singing something beyond the blues.... the wailing tale of heartbreak or the highest peaks of mountains.
I am afraid normalcy needs a place ( to some degree) as well.
I hope e can offer this to you at some point.
Bottom line though, when you say you would like to become more domestic, as he likes being taken care of...... If it is something you can do, with happiness, go for it. But if it is strained and hard to maintain without resentment, consider that as well. All men like to 'be taken care of'. I'm not all that domestic, on the grand scale.... I have my moments though.. but it works out.. I take care of hiom in other areas, and he is super happy in our compromise.
Think about it.. how much 'adapting and compromising' is changing your basic motivations.....IP: Logged |
blue flame
unregistered
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posted January 26, 2005 04:33 PM
okay...i started this strand a while ago - i had no idea that so many of us were suffering the same scorpionic sickness...
i know now that it's not a scorpio thing...
it seems to be us women wanting to control and limit another's freedom b/c we want them soley for ourselves...
after much pondering, i realize that i would detest anyone who wished such things from me...so why would i ask so much of another free human being..
i think it's the intuition of the scorpios that keeps them safely away from us...they sense our desperation, desire, love, intentions etc. and run like hell (just as i would if someone were directing that energy at me!) when they catch the first whiff of it on the wind...
when our attention vanishes, they sense it...
they can't stand it...
they live in a totally contradictory state of mind...wanting one thing and allowing soemthing totally different to happen.
*
my scorp is back around...i'm not so much around...i love him still...i just know better than to expect anything from him...
*
how can we possibly expect anyone man to give us everything we want...
that's just not fair...
*
now i live my life, knowing he is well and know that one day he will show me all that he wants to when he wants to...
until then, i keep on living - not closing any doors and always opening new ones!
*
be strong my scorpio lovers~
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virgo smiling on the edge of shamelessness... IP: Logged |
ariestiger
unregistered
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posted January 26, 2005 05:45 PM
Hmmm, as far as I can see, I think Scorpios just need to be given SPACE, and plenty of it, and have no demands made on them or expected of them. They respond well to sincerity, genuine interest and understanding. And I think probably a degree of independence. I'm also inclined to think that Scorpio men like their companions to be relaxed and confident around them - correct me if I'm wrong.GeminiAries, relationships are all about compromise, whether you like it or not. I have had to compromise a lot with my Aqua (LOL), and I know that, as an Aries, it is difficult, but that's the way it ends up. If you live alone you can do pretty much what you like - living together, you end up compromising in the smallest ways, and it can take you years to realize just how much you do on a day-to-day basis.
As he is a Fixed sign (unlike Cardinal and Mutable signs whose arms can be twisted), I can also practically guarantee you your Scorpio won't budge an inch unless HE wants to. IP: Logged |
GeminiAries
unregistered
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posted January 26, 2005 07:27 PM
That is what Im doing, giving him space. I no longer ask him to come over go out ect.... He is now the one showing up at my door and talking so sweet words to me....WHen HE feels like it. Yes I agree,Scorpios contradict themselves alot. They want one thing then another idea might come to their mind. I realized after all the tears and heart aches, that my life cannot revolve arround him. He needs to know what he wants without me invading his space nor brain.
The attention I get from him now is great, but I will not run with it, who knows how long it will last. I learned my lesson last time. A day at a time. With Lots of space in between. IP: Logged |
GeminiAries
unregistered
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posted January 28, 2005 11:36 AM
Natasha and Maya-v
Im happy to report that things between my scorp and I are getting better. He called last night to invite me to dinner. I had a friend over so I told him that I couldn't and then invited him over, but he said that he wasn't up for company, wanted to just be alone with me. Its so lovely to hear his voice.
I waited for this for such a long time..........so why am I so scared? IP: Logged |
maya-v
unregistered
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posted January 28, 2005 01:35 PM
Gem - I am TOTALLY empathising with you right now - seems like we're in the same boat! My guy, being an Archer , is waaay less predictable though - one day Im like his entire world and next, he doesnt care and disappears off the face of the earth! So I guess, the sane, wise thing to do would be not to take his attention too seriously or his presence for granted and just let it flow. After all, he deserves a chance to show me just why I should change my entire life and give up my safe secure world for his wild adventures - right?IP: Logged |
GeminiAries
unregistered
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posted January 28, 2005 06:34 PM
After all, he deserves a chance to show me just why I should change my entire life and give up my safe secure world for his wild adventures - right?
RIGHT! Maya-V I hear you Girl!IP: Logged |
GeminiAries
unregistered
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posted January 31, 2005 01:44 PM
maya-v and Natasha,
Ok i need your opinion on this. Could my scorpio guy be mad that I didnt drop everything to be with him? On thursday he called to ask me out on a date to dinner. He wanted to see me. But I had a friend with me and it was her last nite before moving back to Georgia, so I told him that I couldn't leave but he was then more welcome to come by for a while. HE said NO he wanted to be alone with me. Dinner and dancingHe refused to come by if she was at the house. He never met her. Since then I havent heard a word from him. Not friday, sat, nor Sunday.I left a message and still no word. He might have gone out of town, just guessing. But not dropping everything for a Scorp male, DID that HURT his ego? IP: Logged |
blue flame
unregistered
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posted January 31, 2005 02:34 PM
if the one you'd like call yours is anything like the one i know better than to call mine,
his feelings were probably hurt a little...it could also be that he had just mustered up the courage to invite you to share time with him and now he's recoiled and won't return again until months from now,
when his courage is restocked...
*
it's so funny how once we have something going on and don't drop everything for them, they experience a sense of rejection - but if we did drop everything for them, they would see it as a weakness or a sign that we care WAY TOO MUCH and that scares them into running further away...
*
we just can't win (
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virgo smiling on the edge of shamelessness... IP: Logged |
GeminiAries
unregistered
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posted January 31, 2005 02:47 PM
YOU ARE RIGHT.
I just can't win. I do agree with you. If i would of drop my friend to be with him, he would of thought wow how crazzy. Its been a year since we last saw each other, but we talk via phone. It's just so crazzy how sensitive he is. What? I should of jump at the chance?
But I know one thing for sure HE HAD A HURT EGO.
Oh well. That's what Scorps are. Contradicting Sensitive People with BIG EGO's who dont know what they want.IP: Logged |
maya-v
unregistered
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posted January 31, 2005 02:48 PM
I think its time for one of those hot passionate confrontations - thats what they love and yours is probably waiting for. Here's how it goes. First, call him and tell him there is something important you guys need to discuss. Ask him when would be a good time to drop by. Then, slip into something sexy in his favorite color, bring along a bottle of red wine and some dance music and drop by his place. Tell him you wanted to surprise him and make up for the time you could not be with him. He will pretend to be a little mad and unconcerned but secretly, pleased as heck at your bold initiative, your strong judgement of his feelings and your passion for him. I know its a bold move, but then that Aries courage has to come in handy somewhere! IP: Logged |
GeminiAries
unregistered
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posted February 02, 2005 06:27 PM
Ok, Its now been a week since I last spoke to him(Scorp). Last wed. he called me crying, worried wanting to hold me to make him feel better about the delima that he was going through.
He TOLD me that he wanted me to live closer to him and that he needed me now and that I was the only one on his mind when he faced a hard time on Wed. Then on thursday he called inviting me to dinner because he felt better. He said that he wanted to be alone with me. i declined because I had company over (but deep down I was so scared to see him).
He was upset that I didnt drop everything for him.
Now a week later no word. I sent him an email, called, called, called.
Why is this happening again? Because I didnt jump when he told me?. Or he knows that I will always be his Sucker? I saw him online (instant chat). I said nothing just waiting for a call or a reply from my email.
How could he be so cold, but so close? He has to know how worried I am? All I ask is for him to call and to let me know that he is alive and well.
My Aries ways wants to call him and crush his ego, but all I can think about is that by doing this, I WILL BE THE ONLY ONE TO SUFFERIP: Logged |
maya-v
unregistered
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posted February 02, 2005 06:34 PM
I think he is very scared and very vulnerable right now. He wants you needs you, on a level which scares him because it borders on dependancy. And your unavailablity caught him at the moment when he was the most vulnerable, when he was happy to have you and wanted to celebrate having you in his life. I dont know what to tell you except my former advice - go see him. If he came online and didnt say anything, it was because his self-defence and some of his HUGE ego was stopping him, but if you had said something, he would have unraveled and opened up to you. Sometimes women have to be the mature one in the relationship and prove just how stupid men's insecurities are. He does not know how much you love him and how much you want to be with him. And that is killing him. Go tell him and for once, play against the conventionally right thing to do ... trust me, it works(always does for me!!!). Good luck sweetie - I believe your connection deserves another chance from you! IP: Logged |
GeminiAries
unregistered
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posted February 02, 2005 06:47 PM
Maya_V
When he was crying about his problems and feeling very scared and alone I told him that things would be okay and that I was there, I would always be there for him no matter what.
Even though on wed i wasn't physically but I was there emotionally. I told him that things would be ok and that it was just a bad day. He kept on, and on and on waiting to know why was he longing for me so much. I told him that i keep him in my prayers and that I wanted the best for him. I told him that I think of him always. Then he ask me that he wanted me there, then he muttered that "to please not to be with anyone else to be faithful for him"
What? So when you say that he doesnt know that I love him, its way to crazzy. He must know............... His gotta know. My heart belongs to him.IP: Logged |
GeminiAries
unregistered
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posted February 03, 2005 10:52 AM
I can't believe that Im not crying. I cannot believe that Im screaming. My heart hurts,oh GOD does it ever, but for the first time Im not crying.
After a week of no returned calls from mr scorp, this morning I decided to call. If you read the thread before this one. I stated that he was crying a week ago & longing for me. bla bla bla
At 8:30 Am I called, its now been a week and im annoyed & worried. I left a message saying good morning.
And, after 2 hours my GUT told me to call from another number to see if he would answer.HE DID ANSWER. ON THE FIRST RING! I HUNG UP! I stood in front of the payphone sad, hurt, angry, but no tears. To tell you the turth Im happy that his well. But......... WHY?
Why avoid me like this? What is scarying him? I didnt come on strong!
My heart hurts, but today I realized that im stronger then before, and that I will not brake down over this..........AGAIN
WOW MY HEART HURTS SO BAD.
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Heart--Shaped Cross
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 03, 2005 12:18 PM
I like what blue said about opening new doors.I would add that there's nothing wrong with knocking down few walls every now and then, while you're at it. 
aries tiger mentioned the enthusiasm of the scorpio horse. Suzanne White, in her book "The New Astrology", describes ME as a genuine eccentric, "speaker of truth, and doer of impossible deeds... the ideal parent"! High praises indeed.
The earth horse (1978) is also called "the peacemaker", and is distinguished by his/her superlative wisdom, capable of weighing all sides of an issue at once, and the ability to survive on thin air. ------------------
"I want to love first,
and live incidentally."
- Zelda Fitzgerald IP: Logged |
maya-v
unregistered
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posted February 03, 2005 12:29 PM
Hey Gem! Im so sorry he's being such a fraidy jerk right now ... some men are just too intimidated by strong women with powerful emotions and capability for self-expression. I know it hurts a lot, but IM glad to see you already growing stronger. You might like what I told blueflame in another thread ...
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/004393.html " ... I feel your pain and confusion with an intensity I cannot express. But the true power lies not in forgetting, but remembering what was beautiful and what was right. Perhaps the attraction you see in him, the memories of good times, were not because of how wonderful he was - but because of how amazing YOU are and how you made him a better person. So cherish yourself as the one who believed, the one who did not give up and never will. Know that a passion like that cannot go waste and somehow your light will be found, that the magic and love you have to give will find the home it seeks. And meanwhile, hold your head high and keep the flame burning, for you are the true winner in this tale of love and you came away richer in soul and heart!" IP: Logged |
Heart--Shaped Cross
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 03, 2005 12:31 PM
Also,If you love a Scorpio,
Set him free. If he comes back hungry,
Feed him. IP: Logged |
maya-v
unregistered
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posted February 03, 2005 12:33 PM
and if he's pouty - just knock some good ole common sense into his overly-sensitive, over-emotionalizing noggin!Aside to HSC: You sure you dont have any Sag in you ... sometimes you seem to be one, with both the philosopher end and the horse end showing!!! IP: Logged |
Heart--Shaped Cross
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 03, 2005 12:46 PM
Are you kidding, Maya?Mars in Sagittarius 03°20'23 10th
Mercury in Sagittarius 04°33'38 10th
Neptune Sagittarius 16°48'53 11th Jupiter Leo 08°27'57 07th Jupiter is the lead planet in an upside-down bowl configuration, unless you count Chiron as a funnel, which it squares. Jupiter also Squares my Sun, and Opposes my 1st house moon. My Sun is Conjunct Venus
IN THE 9TH HOUSE Pluto, ruler of the sun and midheaven,
is also IN THE 9TH HOUSE
Saggy is my middle name, kiddo.
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maya-v
unregistered
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posted February 03, 2005 12:54 PM
Sweetie!!!! No wonder I got so intrigued by you - Archers always have me running round in mental circles and doing aerial gymnastics ... that is till I pin them down for a looooooong, intellectual discourse.No wonder I saw the wiseman peeking out!  BTW, I have a li'l something for you in dorkus' Scorpios thread and also, just for being so sweet and compliant, here's a pic for you 
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Heart--Shaped Cross
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 03, 2005 01:03 PM
I'm not sure I like the way you seem to be "handling me", but I'm sure, if I made a fuss, you'd just think it was adorable, now wouldn't you?IP: Logged |
maya-v
unregistered
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posted February 03, 2005 01:11 PM
ROTFLMe ... handling you? Now where would you get such a wierd notion!!?? And no, Im not particularly into fussy babies ... Besides, its too late anyway ... I already have you on my list of adorable puzzles way too intriguing to ignore. IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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