posted August 04, 2004 08:38 AM         

I wonder if any of the lovely Geminian ladies here can help me please. I am completely and irretrievably in love with one like you. I've known her for over 2 years now and have tried to have other relationships, but when I am truly in love my heart is utterly exclusive to "the one". The lady in question has only ever had one boyfriend since she was a young girl until 2 months ago. He was an Aquarian and dumped for being too boring, though she endured for nearly 10 years, possessing a Gemini Sun and Venus in Aries with a Taurean Moon and Mars in Libra she is a mass of contradictions.

I myself am a Pisces with Scorpio Moon and Ascendant with Aquarian Mercury and Venus with a Gemini Mars. So my personailty is similarly polarised in its needs and wants. To be honest most of my energies are devoted to simply surviving the tempest my soul has to endure. I get so lonely sometimes that it feels as if I am a body of agony and despair with no protection and no alternative other than to suffer. Of course being so heavily influenced by Pluto I will never surrender, but I begin to wonder if I have the strength to cope in the end. I have read that Kurt Cobain was triple water and he didn't have the agony of a Scorpio Moon to contend with either. This makes the loneliness so painful and the need to feel the warmth of love so very very nessecary. But love or even affection from those I have wanted it from has never ever come to me in any form.

Now I yearn for this Elfen Princess of Mercury to care for me the way I care for her. Complicated situation that it is I was convinced that there was some kind of
connection between. However, I am worried I have made a terrible mistake by admitting after being a friend (though not actively engaged in each others lives since we stopped working together 2 years ago, but still in contact and thinking of going on holiday together. Having said that she is incredibly elusive and has to be chased to return calls. My other female friends including Gemini's thought they had her down as a ***** who was aware of my affections but stringing me along without caring. This has now changed when they read her responses to my declaration of the emotions I have for her.) By the way, I may write like this but I don't come on so sentimental when chatting to her as I know I might be slitting my own throat as I have been told youy must keep them guessing (is that true ladies?).

Anyway,
can you Gemini ladies please tell me if letting her know that I fell for her the first time I saw her and the feelings have only grown since, having to tell her now before it kills me to have to keep it secret anymore a bad thing to have done? She replied that she never knew how I felt about her (she has pretty low self-confidence but an outgoing personality, never really getting involved with guys even on holidays even though she is drop-dead gorgeous) she loved that I had said it and it was nice to know but that she was alone for now and enjoying being single, finishing with "you are still me mate though".

Normally this would be the death knell for romance and I fear if this is the case I might not recover, and I am deadly serious. If you met me you would think me tough but in fact I am far far too weak and sensitive to do anything other than tread water in life it would seem. It feels like I have been vomiting for a year and my stomach has run out of bile, my muscles break when spasming, my eyes are streaming with tears that sting with acidity. This is the pain I feel as once agin I know my heart will be rejected and I have to endure the emptiness again.

I love her, but my love is worthless. I dream of her, but my dreams torture my yielding soul. I worry that that the donkey is staring in dread at the straw that descends behind him.

I hope someone can offer insight, especially any translations from Gemini's of her behavious or hope for the future, perhaps enlightenment from fellow Pisces or Lunar Scorpions.

Thank you and please forgive the melodrama.

posted August 04, 2004 12:32 PM         

Would she be able to be with you, as in live with you for a good amount of time, or does she mean when she says enjoying being single that she cannot live with someone else?

Chances are that once you tell her how you feel, in the way you want, and you both have a few drinks on holiday, she will reciprocate. But will that be enough for you, if you have to chase her down to return calls? Love is about communication, and Geminis are still working on their communication skills.

Since you as a pluto ruled moon need to feel your mate understands you instinctively, will you feel miffed if you have to hunt her down for communication? After all when you are apart there is no hug, kiss, cuddle, to fall back on, all you have are Words.

Can she write you a letter, do you correspond, and how much time do you spend on the phone? If you fully express your affections, they may be just what you need to be happy, if she is scared away then she will come back.

I would fully express how you feel, with words, or in other ways until you feel satisfied that she understands the depth of your emotion.

With mars in libra, she is more cerebral than you, and not into as much cuddling, her life is more about her friends and career.

I can instantly see the attraction BTW, with her Venus in Aries and mars in Libra, she comes off as very sexy and self assured, something your pluto ruled moon finds reassuring. She may even like to flirt quite a bit, but inside she is very vulnerable and low in self confidence. You will always be the one to fulfill her on that level, are you very confident of yourself?

I fully relate with my own neptune in scorpio conjunct my ascendant, and 8th house moon. Geminis draw me in agan, and again too.

posted August 04, 2004 01:42 PM         

But you know what scares me the most? Its the fact that no matter what approach I take (I am very sensitive to scaring girls or intimidating them) if I dare to be barve enough to declare my feelings to girls, they always reject me, always. The direct route has only ever burnt me while I have watched other guys bounce clumsily up to them and find themselves welcomed. I am not ugly and I am not overbearing or rude or particularly arrogant, but I am "different", deliberate in what I say and do, people don't know how to take me.

I am scared I will be rejected outright as if silly to even consider gettiong close to someone and then have to endure someone else slide in and hurt her.She is vulnerable and I pity the man that thinks he will manipualte her. I already had to deal with one over-zealous idiot who layed his hands on her when she rejected him. She knows I can protect her.

Sthenri - Thank you for your detailed response. If I spent a holiday like that which you describe with her I would feel capable of flying to the Moon or demolishing a mountain with my bare hands. I am at my best when she needs me, I become stronger and calmer and more capable of controlling all the angst and passion inside, like constructive channeling of a volcano. Can't think of a better way to describe it. What I would really like to ask you is how you think she might see me through our particular synastry. I know you can't be specific without actual experience, but you were right when you described how I am attracted to her. I have always had a "Guardian" complex even as a child, relating better to the lonely but noble heroes in my comic books then than normal everyday people. I'm not nuts,but this may have something to do with finding it hard to integrate with others. I have been a vegetarian for 7 years because I value life so highly and I have always diffused violence with utter conviction even in highly dangerous situations. I think I need a love affair that will match my probably overly-dramatic perspective on life. I know I love her, it has gone on for too long. But I am so lonely, with so much passion running through my veins that my heart can't take the emptiness that is now so overwhelming. Its just the way I am unfortunately.

posted August 04, 2004 03:17 PM         

What do you think would be the best date for a Gemini girl?

posted August 04, 2004 04:04 PM         

She's wondering if she will be bored/ignored by you down the road, take her someplace exciting and glamorous but not loud so she can talk. Talk about her life, and her observations, keep it light. Do not offer too many opinions. She has Venus in Aries, and a Gemini Sun. make sure the place is romantic, with music, great decor. Spend a little cash, listen, hold her hand, touch her gently

Have fun,
There must be a jazz bar, unusual coffeshop or fun place you have been to before. Go there first but don't tell her you've been there. Make sure it's an in place, with lots of other people. Make sure those people are not more hip or better looking than her. Tell her she is the best looking girl in the place, often.

posted August 04, 2004 08:23 PM         

OH! Replace with camel, got it! All I could think of before was my memories of all those donkeys in the streets of Mexico! Now it makes more sense.

By the way, I didn't know that Murphy's Law is also known as Sod's Law.

And when you said, "...But I am so lonely, with so much passion running through my veins that my heart can't take the emptiness that is now so overwhelming. Its just the way I am unfortunately.." -

I know that feeling so well, and I've spent most of my life in states of complete celibacy, even though all what you said was happening to me. You explained it so perfectly well. Sometimes when women try to express that here, like by saying they are "tired of being alone and are ready for committment", we get brought down a notch by armchair feminists. But that's what it is, just what you said...

posted August 05, 2004 07:00 AM         

On the first real date, where he asked me out at night-that's a real date
1. He refused to buy two meals because he said we could share one
2. Didn't want to buy appetizers/entrees because he could order more free bread, Then kept insisting I have more bread
3. Insisted on ordering for me so I didn't order the most expensive thing on the menu.
Joked about me ordering the most expensive thing on the menu. HA!
4. Got upset when I interrupted him to order for myself, and guess what it was expensive.
5. Insisted on going over the check and frowning.
6. Said things like, I guess I will have to call you MIss Ice Tea since those cost $1.50 and you didn't even have more than two sips.
7. Watched every bite I ate and frowned when I didn't finish what was on my plate.
8. Insisted I TAKE home the extra food, even though I HATE that. I think it's cheesy on a date.
9. Super friendly with the waitress and refused to sit anywhere with a male waiter.
Even though I LIKE male waiters better since they are never prettier than me.
9. Insisted I eat low/fat food and share a dessert.
10. Got visibly irritated when I went to the restroom for more than 10 minutes.
11. Got visibly irritated when I talked to other people especially men, but refused to say what was wrong.

Dont' get me wrong, this man was the greatest friend of my life for many years, helped me get a better job, drove me everywhere, fantastic talker. But no chemistry in the restaurant!

I have a Scorpio friend who is fabulous that way, I love to take her places.

Moral of this story, is spend a little cash, act happy even if you are not, don't drink more than her, or push her along during the evening. Make sure she knows the night is about her, not you.

Take Care,
Natasha

posted August 05, 2004 07:02 AM         

If she asks, just say, she was nothing compared to you and I'd rather not talk about it. The end.

posted August 05, 2004 10:55 AM         

Problem being that when I want to have normal conversations I find it very difficult as I am plugged in to every iota of energy, positive or negative, that you are pushing out, absorbing and eciphering unconsciously, which takes up so much of my personal energy that I have to fight to ignore it. If you wnat a reason that water signs are moody, this is it. And I am triple water, 2 parts Scorpio. Its a nightmare and frankly something a Gemini would run a mile from (everyone does, or at least keeps their distance). Some of the more perceptive aroun me can even feel the energy emanating from me, it can be that powerful!

I want to be able to take her out and chat and laugh and tease and play and flirt and go home and feel nice and look forward to the next time I see her, confident that she will be excited too. My reality is this - I will feel like I am an inch within my life with nerves before she arrives, fighting myself for control and to lighten up as I am with her (which when I manage I am very popular and people are drawn to me, kinda like reversing the polarity within, but this is incredibly difficult to pull off). While I m fighting my own moods through being so nervous I will try to keep her stimualted and happy and notice all the little details that you must to keep things flowing (rather than allow things to deteriorate like you friend Natasha). Of course I realise how this sounds, and I don't wnat to be like this! If I was a woman I'd run a mile as well. Who needs all that? It's only a date, supposed to be fun. Believe me, I'm well aware.

I do worry greatly that I will bore her in the end Natasha, though it is more likely to be overwhelm her. I'm actually a good laugh most of them time, but my wit is caustic and I tend to withdraw sometimes. Mysterious yes, but would this work over the long run.
I find it very difficult to be me, and I understand why women would find it difficult to be with me, hence the original post up top here.
Do you think this is how I am supposed to be from my chart, or am I failing to learn something somewhere? I feel like I am missing the point in my life.

posted August 05, 2004 11:45 AM         

Gem-Pis is an intense pairing, but very unstable, and very prone to end up with many deeply hurt feelings. About this question regarding Gemini women, well, with a Pisces moon, I persoanlly love Pisces men, but they too often think that they should be our "everything," when no one person can be "everything" to any Gemini. This isn't about maturity. It's our nature. I'm also kind of get tired of people bitching about how supposedly we Geminis can't communicate, but it's been my experience that Geminis often communicate very well...it's the other people that tend to have a listening and responding problem. The other problem I've found when people say Gems aren't communicating, it's really because the Gem isn't communicating what the person whats to hear (this is SO common with earth and water signs). Geminis are cerebral, so we communicate mainly in ideas and not feelings, which might give someone, like a Pisces, the impression we are talking around an issue. But that isn't true - it's a matter of communciation style, and if you don't have the skills or the wits to keep up, then of coure you'll feel like there's no communciation really going on. True, some Geminis don't communicate well, just like there's other people that don't live up to the better side of their signs, but really, I've yet to meet someone who has been a better listener and is quicker at grasping the point of a conversation (and seeing through nonsense) than the other Geminis I've known. So often I'm very inclined to think, sure we're child-like, but we tend to be able to communicate on a level that seems to fly over the heads of other signs (rag on us all you wish, but there's generations of astrology that backs this up). Now whether we are *willing* communciate with you - now that's another story.

posted August 05, 2004 01:35 PM         

need to believe,
That is so true about such magazines and dating sites to play on our insecurities. If they didn't intimidate us into thinking we needed to buy them to learn the secrets to dating, they wouldn't have a business. Unfortunately, some humans are wired with the need for acceptance, and the entirety of the media empire has made millions exploiting that. If we could all not have that fear in us, meaning if we could not be afraid to truly express our emotions in a public forum (no pun intended), the world would be a much more honest and less confusing place to be. Just my opinion.

Swerve,
I still stick by my original reply, she's got to know how you feel. I know the fear is there, you don't want to smother her or ''scare'' her, you just want her to know that your waters for her run deep. There's nothing wrong with letting a woman know what's in your heart. We don't particularly like having to chase you all over creation to see what you feel for us.. waiting around for that is absolute TORTURE. I know there are some women out there that do enjoy the elusive, but at the end of the day, and this coming from all the women I know, we would rather you be honest with us, and not play games. Very glad to hear you don't play them, she will be too.

Good luck, sweetheart. I'm holding out hope that beautiful love is possible...prove me right!

posted August 05, 2004 01:42 PM         

Ghani - I hope I don't let you down. Thanks for your kind thoughts darling.