posted April 21, 2005 09:22 AM         

Pix, I totally agree. I could not find the words to say what you did so beautifully back there. Yeah, throughout life, you will meet people who hold a piece of your soul and have a karmic purpose to be there in our world. Strange though, what if its a woman - or even a child or a grandma? I think the societal rules would be kinda twisted then dont you think?

posted April 22, 2005 01:59 PM         

quote:

---

Thanks 'zala.
I shall call you that, as it is easier to type.
Yes.. you hit on some things
*as did Ghani*
and I will elaborate on them later.
My brain is mush too.

---

posted April 22, 2005 06:54 PM         

Don't forget, we are caught between two powerful eclipses right now. The 1st was Sun in Aries, ruled by Mars, co-ruler of...Scorpio. And as you know, this 2nd one is Moon in Scorpio. Darlin', I have been completely shaken not stirred during these transits, and I can tell you have been as well.

The Universe is You. And You are Beautiful.
You are exactly where you need to be, and every person you draw to yourself is a soul-mate. Lucky them.

It's a little overly quoted, and sometimes it's not easy to acknowledge when it's time for a goodbye, but there is value in remembering "A reason, a season, and a lifetime..."

I love ya Pixie. Hope I can buy you a beer (or three) some day.

posted April 22, 2005 08:40 PM         

I wonder if it has something to do with passionate natures? This feeling of always wanting, waiting, needing. What does it take to fill that up? Is it supposed to be? I know what you mean when you say that without these feelings, the happiness ceases to carry meaning.

Does it feel like a lonely, reaching feeling? Then does it turn in to a sad, in-a-rut feeling?

It is hard to be so passionate. Somehow, certain things never seem to measure up to this happy bursting in your heart feeling. And why?

I've wondered if it is one of those things between men and women that can't be bridged. I'm speaking in generalities, of course, but overall? I've been through many relationships seeking these very things, and while they start that way, in time they settle into something less sparkling. I'm not talking about familiarity. Personally I feel that familiarity is a fabulous thing! It's more like a forgetting to see things anew. Sometimes it feels to me like a snapshot of me is taken at the beginning of a relationship which becomes "me" to "him." This doesn't happen to me. Every day we are new, and the subtleties thrill me.

I hope I haven't gone completely astray from your feelings. I've been following this thread and this is what it makes me feel.

Do keep us posted, dear Pixie! And be thankful for your passion.

posted April 23, 2005 03:00 PM         

tSun and tVenus squaring nAscendant Leo

Interesting, tUranus is squaring my nVenus and nNeptune both in my fifth house in Sagittarius.(conjunct in my chart)

tSaturn is square my nMercury Libra(third house)

tNeptune square nMars(fourth house stellium in Scorpio)

tVenus squaring nSaturn

posted April 25, 2005 01:31 PM         

*shakes off the energy*
*cools down*
*wants to take a cold shower and cleanse her troubles away*

posted April 25, 2005 01:37 PM         

And just to make you feel better ...

Dont worry. A prfound Uranian lesson is that often when things get too dusty, a small thunderstorm helps clear the air - do away with things you dont need and bring closer the things you were ignoring. I have recently discovered a Yod pointing to Uranus in my chart, so all the crazy mess in my life is beginning to make a lot of sense to me too. Hang in there babes - its gonna be alright!\

Another thing - I might be waaaaaaaaaaay out of line here, but since I am a terminal patient of hoof in mouf, I'll sayit anyway - and then duck!

Remember a while back you said something abt your Aries putting a seed of doubt in your mind - like when you asked him abt being the sexiest woman in the room or something? Sometimes those things act as weird triggers and make your sub-conscious think of possibities you would never otherwise explore.

posted April 25, 2005 02:50 PM         

Well, sometimes what happens is that we have NEVER considered a possibility till someone puts a seed in our mind. It becomes a trigger and dwells in our sub-concious till we mainfest it in reality.

Now from what I can gather here, you have recently come across a person that engages you and fascinates you and the reason you feel traumatized is because you are already committed to someone else.

But think abt it ... when you had an argument with your Aries a little while ago - when you asked him if you would have been the prettiest woman in the room and he gave a different answer than you expected - it made you angry but it also shocked you - surprised you and put the seed in your head abt the possibility of him even thinking of another woman being more beautiful than you. Maybe it triggered off this sub-conscious thought process in your head abt what it means to be committed to someone and where do the boundaries of fantasy end and reality begins. I mean - is it being unfaithful to even think of connecting to another while you are committed; even though it is purely on a spiritual level? Is it crossing the line to look at another woman and finding her better looking than the one you are with and yet not being unfaithful?

I dont know, but often small things trigger off major psychic overhauling in my head, makes me take out my beliefs and shake them out and air them or something. Mostly it is nothing, nothign really happens but its always nice to re-examine your priorities and reassure yourself that they donot differ much from your ethics or rules for yourself.

Thats my little bit of pseudo-analysis. You can totally dump it or take it with a pinchof salt!

posted April 25, 2005 03:17 PM         

OK First of all - that Moon in Cap is doing a number on you - You are not a bad person!!! OK Maybe it is hard for you to communicate yoru emotions and maybe your Leo rising demands a LOT of love and attention without giving any, but that does not mean you are not a nice person!!!

You have helped innumerable people with your wisdom and confidence. You have been nothing but a good influence on all of us. And no, just because you translate your emotional side into practical expressions, does not mean the emotion is not real enough or that you dont genuinely care!

And if this has been going on for a while n ow, maybe you should look at it different. Maybe there is something else that you are forgetting or ignoring abt this connection that your higher s-elf is trying to remind you of.

posted April 25, 2005 03:54 PM         

I am so sorry pix ... sometimes, you get caught in things planned by powers bigger than either you or me.

Dont worry, you are not alone ... you know we love you and will be with you whatever happens.

Just make sure you are not being deceived into giving up something that matters the most to you for something that doesnt even exist. Make sure someone does not use your vulnerability to their own wicked ends.

posted April 25, 2005 03:56 PM         

You need to be true to yourself.
I dont know the particulars, the emotional specifics, of your situation, your present or presently developing relationships.
I want to ask you to consider, as if you havent already, if it is possible to communicate these things to the man you are with. I know relationships can reach a deep freeze, but that Uranus/Mars might not need to go outside their bounds in order to disrupt the status quo. Something has been building in you for a long time, and there is a possibility that these changes can take place within your present relationship. Maybe you could invoke dormant forces in yourself and in the man you (think you) know so well.

Even if something has died, that doesnt mean you two cant be reborn in another dynamic, and I doubt you would have to bring another man into it for him to realize the extent of your discontent. This could be a critical time for the two of you, to make some real progress. Or, you could just reincarnate in another, and another, and another relationship.

Just some possible takes on it.
Like I said, I dont know how it is with you, your home situation and all, and I myself have like zilch life experience.

((((On a side, egocentric, note, I think you are a thousand times deeper than me, Pix. I profane the sacred out of my life by talking about it constantly. But, we'll talk about that some other time.))))

posted April 25, 2005 07:00 PM         

Take it slow,
until it takes you.