posted April 06, 2006 01:08 PM         

Even Dr. Ruth and the rest of the Medical Community uses THAT CLINICAL word.
Like Coitus; masturbation is not a dirty or crass word. They are clinical words for normal human sexual activities.

And why is it more crass to speak of masturbation than it is to talk about coitus?

I could have actually been crass and said things like:
Spanking the monkey
Diddling the Fiddle
Yanking the chain
Whacking
And other silly words and phrases. http://www.bawdylanguage.com/links.shtml#masturbation

Or Google "masturbation slang words"
There are more doozies!

But...
Suffice it to say,
Masturbation is neither dirty nor speaking of it crass.
It is one of the normal healthy human sexual release/relief practices.

posted April 06, 2006 05:57 PM         

LMAO..sorry Fayte, but in a real world practical sense, I think that has a slim to none chance of working - unless you mean "cut the date short, take a break and then go out another time". If I was on a date with someone or even seeing someone and they felt so enamored with me that they had to go to the bathroom to knock one off - God, I would dump them in a heart beat.

To me that reeks of a lack of self-control. If they can't deal with the desire inside (and the same would hold true for me) then they aren't going to be able to deal with other issues that are pressing or where self-control may play into things.

Please don't think I'm picking on you, because I'm not - it's just that I did deal with a guy like this and it left me feeling grossed out. It was like "I see, so you want me so bad but you know you can't have me yet, so you make a big production out of going into the other room to masterbate?"

Although, to each their own. I am obviously not with that idiot anymore (thank God) and I am with someone that enjoys sex to the fullest, but doesn't turn it into some kind of competition, reward system or lack of self-control issue.

As for the Mars conjunct Venus.... I have to stay I disagree to some extent. Even though it causes the initial passion and semi-compulsive need to be together, it can be a double edge sword.

I was with a Leo that also had Mars in Sagittarius (I have Venus in Sag conjunct Sun). Even though there was this incredible attraction and passion - there was still an uncomfortable tension that accompanied it.

Even though my current guy doesn't have a Mars that aspects my Venus (it's in Taurus) it does conjunct my Saturn in Taurus in the 8th house while forming a sextile to my Mars in Pisces.

We also have a fair amount of 5th house energy with my Sun / Merc falling into his 5th house and his Jupiter falling into mine.

I think there has to be a few other factors that help with the Venus conjunct Mars factor (I'm sure his Mars sitting on my Sun may have contributed to the uneasiness).

posted April 06, 2006 06:12 PM         

The fact that he TOLD you and USED it to try and guilt trip you is NOT what kind of thing I condone at all! THAT IS TACKY and YUCKY!

But For those with no self control that is a option!
Better that then drooling and getting all pushy! Or jumping in the sack.
But not advertise it like that! Have some dignity dude! Solo..PRIVATE!!!!!
But I think you missed my main point.
BEFORE(ideally) a date it can keep the urges at bay.
I have known Dozens of people who thanked me for that advice and said "IT DID WORK" like a charm!
It works! So what is the harm in that?
But private not telling your date for crying out loud! Geeez! Tacky!

posted April 06, 2006 08:36 PM         

Yeah, that tard and I weren't even dating. We had already been engaged for a while. He felt that if I was getting ready to go out that I wouldn't want to have a quicky, so he'd lock himself up in his little messy office (more like a trash dump) and go to town while watching computer porn. Hell, we could have had time to do the deed AND I could have gotten ready. I can't tell you how many times I just bailed on him.

BUT.... we had a different thing going on. He actually used sex as a way to manipulate me and withhold it or give it as he saw fit. He knew that I had (have) a high sex drive, but he would make me wait or would make sex a huge issue through keeping it from me for days. He knew that I wouldn't cheat on him - so using against me that way was incredibly frustrating.

After we broke up and I left one day for work and didn't come back, he still wanted to be with me - either as back as his fiance or even FWB if I would allow it (because he realized what he lost). I wouldn't have it...I did almost string him along, but my heart was so cold towards him that I knew I could never get back together with him (not to mention everyone I knew and my family hated him with a passion).

posted April 07, 2006 01:10 AM         

pidaua
LMAO Yucky for sure! To use it as a manipulative thing is not a private solo thing, and I too have had men pull that game on me. That is like a major turn off for me! Private/solo does not mean using it as a barganing chip. EEEwwwwwww.

posted April 07, 2006 12:05 PM         

I completely agree with what you said. It's all very true and what we should all strive for in our lives.

However, this is not a perfect world so it is awfully difficult to always apply what we know to be true and right. If the world was comprised of people who thought and tried to live their lives as you described the world might become more perfect. But, alas, it isn't comprised of people like that. Truth is that most people just plain don't give a rat's ptooey how their actions affect others. They have no concept of the ripple effect of all of our actions and how it is truly messing up the world. They never think about those things.

See above post. Even Jesus realized that. I think you do too but were expressing what we should strive for and you are right in that sense.

posted April 07, 2006 12:32 PM         

Quote:

"Ive actually unconsciously made a memorandum for when they renew their birth control"

Does that mean like.....the women are taking the initiative in this department, like there are no condoms being used....?

Hmmmm....if either of the ladies concerned go with other guys and you in between time get it on with another/others and theres no condoms being used.....wouldnt this worry you?

Unlike the other poster that said "I think you are doing the right thing".......as far as health and safety reasons are concerned, I would have to disagree.....

I am a tad surprised that no-one else has mentioned this?

Mmmmm.....I love sex, but would never put myself at risk for it....eeek...no way !!

I find this a bit scary man...to be honest.....sounds a bit like russian roulette....

Please be careful....I lost a friend to AIDS and this still haunts me....

posted April 07, 2006 01:39 PM         

Those are the kinds of replies I live for.

Yes, I can be very idealistic.

But, it is sometimes necessary to compensate
for the exaggerated realism that is so common these centuries.
Immoderate realism is as dangerous as idealism, if not more so.
There is no greater madness than to see
only what is, and not what may be.

But, I agree, the conflict is unavoidable.
And I am also very aware of the frailties of human nature, I assure you;
so aware, that I tend to expect nothing of people,
while the average idealist expects too much.

I was born in the year of the Earth Horse.
They are called "the wise ones",
but, nevertheless, are often ineffectual, in the real world.
We sit on the fence,
and it is a long time before we are moved to action,
in one direction or another,
because we see both, or all, sides of a story.

It is very hard for me to express myself,
and speak my mind,
without appearing to take one side over another.
I see my place having more to do with
the ability to state the case,
and present all the evidence fairly,
than being able to offer a resolution.

Nietzsche said, some people ask and some answer,
and one ought to know which one is.
I believe my talent is in asking the right questions.
I've got more of them every day.

I noticed your interest in Jesus...
And I agree with your views.
It is clear to me that the Jews in the bible,
are a model for the Christians of today,
and Christ would break from them,
just as he broke from the Jews.
What "circumcision" was to the Jews,
"belief in Christ" is to the Christians.
Christ would deny the alleged need for both/either of them.

I posted something last night about Jesus,
you might find interesting:
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum2/HTML/002021.html

take care,
thanks for being an ideal listener!

posted April 07, 2006 01:56 PM         

As far as anyone not mentioning the dangers of not practicing safe sex where multiple partners are involved, I did touch on that a bit when I spoke of AIDS and STDs. Fayte also brought up STDs if I remember.

I said that Scorp Web was doing the right thing in reference to being honest with his Sag partner. Not in reference to FWB as I thought I made it clear I am not in favor of that for myself, however I do not judge or tell others how to live their lives. We are all on our own personal spiritual journies. The road that I travel on my journey is designed solely for me. As are everyone else's roads. Experience being the best teacher, in time Scorp Web will determine for himself what is best for him. As I did and everyone else.

Hope that clarifies at least how I stand on things.

posted April 07, 2006 02:01 PM         

But do you know......I have spoken to a few that dont.....which as I said is like playing russian roulette.

My friend that died of AIDS was only 26....he was gay and had more than one partner at a time.

posted April 07, 2006 02:16 PM         

I too have lost many friends to the A.I.D.S. Virus. Scary thing is they all did use protection. And were testing regularly. Two had blood transfusions. The other ones involved a rape, and an unfaithful spouse, and the last one...a rubber that broke. A couple more are still living...but for how long?
So even with protection....there is always a chance of catching an STD.
The only safe sex is solo or none...or with a true and trusted lifemate.
No sexual encounter or AFFAIR is worth dying over, and worse...possibly infecting the innocent ones or even children conceived during the time of infection.
These are not the days when a few shots of pennicillin could cure one.

posted April 07, 2006 03:27 PM         

Mirandee- Good to see you too!

posted April 07, 2006 05:08 PM         

I've used a condom with the Libra ever since I started (without a condom) with my Sagittarius.

Don't confuse their "initiative" with a lack of using condoms. Condoms are uncomfortable, kill intimacy, and since I know these women are clean, we had decided to not use them.

posted April 07, 2006 05:09 PM         

I'll try and articulate my thoughts and make sense. First off, yes those were sad and beautiful lyrics. I don't know the guy who wrote them but they were very nice Lialei .

About the black and white issue, this is obviously a very hot topic and many people may see shades of grey in it, but I still can't. And I'm not saying to preach, but just from what I've seen. Its just that I've never seen an FWB that's "worked out" or ended amicably (spelling?). (I've really seen a few, one from my sag friend, and couple more from a virgo-but that's her.) And if you have experienced a good one then thats great.