posted April 02, 2006 04:50 PM         

Like is it someone you are friends with that you have sex with but dont necessarily have a serious relationship with.....

Is it the same as sex buddies or as Ive so eloquently heard it put f*** friends...

Is it the same thing?

Thanks...

posted April 03, 2006 08:04 AM         

I agree too.....seems too flippant or something, especially for a Scorpio.....

I know as a Scorp woman, I have to have deep love and committment before I give myself.....perhaps its a man thing and I am missing the point?

And Scorpio Web......I think your comment about Aqua and cheapening sex was grossly unfair.....

Out of interest what brought you to this conclusion?

posted April 03, 2006 08:07 AM         

Sex when it is 'FWB' is just that.....Base Sex.
So what.

If someone thinks that they are ahead of the game with this idea, than they are mislead to believe this is 'good sex'.
By being less emotionally connected, those persons are behaving not much better than a hooker for free.
It is an action being filled on a base level.
Nothing special about that!!

It is that person's choice of course, BUT.......it is superficial by nature. If superficial involvement is your game-then FWB is the one to play.

Bottom line....FWB folks have missed the entire point emotionally...
This is actually disconnected 'base' sex which will NEVER satisfy deeper soul needs. Period.
And if you STILL believe that FWB is good sex.....Ha,ha-you have haven't begun to leave the ground!!

FWB Recipe = Too base for evolved individuals...not worth cooking!
Fast food take-out will never trump the 7-course meal at a gourmet restaurant.

posted April 03, 2006 10:08 AM         

And I thought maybe I was being old fashioned or something.....

But then when I thought about it I realised that I come from the heart.....and not the head.....

I would imagine to be able to do the FWB's thing, one would have to tune out of the heart to some degree.....

Would anyone agree?

posted April 03, 2006 06:04 PM         

Sex for sex sake does imply a lack of emotional involvement... nay, emotional degradation. Also a lack of self respect and respect for the partner. Maybe this is a characteristic of a male with Venus in Scorpio.

It would be interesting to know if many prostitutes, male and female, have his placement!

posted April 03, 2006 08:18 PM         

FWB needs to be viewed with a wide angle lens.... Mr. Scorpio has not really given us any details (no surprise)... I think it is unfair to judge him or them.. I think 2 people could wind up in this situation for lots of reasons....

I, myself, have been tempted. I had romantic feelings and would hope for more.. and that was why I didn't. That would be the deal breaker. It wouldn't be playing fair...As long as both agree.. to each his own....

To stay with topic of recipes....

1 big heaping tsp. of mars/conj/mars in Scorp.
1 dash of sextiled venus'
1 cup of trined moons
1 sprinkle of pluto conj venus in synastry and composite

posted April 04, 2006 12:24 AM         

Ours charts aren't compatible. Squaring Venus', squaring Mars, squaring Suns even. My Moon widely opposite her venus. Her Aqua Moon is ok with my Sag Venus.

We never connected deeply. We never communicated on the same level. We didn't share any passions. We may as well have been strangers. We were polite, though. Never fought about anything. Never took advantage of one another. We were a comfort to one another for a time. We knew it, and we were ok with it.

Now she's moving as she was always planning to, and there's no discussion of me coming with her. There are some bittersweet emotions as there generally are when you have to say goodbye to someone you feel no ill will towards, but it's not like we weren't prepared for this.

I suppose you do have to keep emotions at a minimum in such a relationship.

I don't think it's really all that important to compare the sex. I don't think either party in a FWB relationship is looking for the ultimate intimate encounter. I imagine it's like many old marriages where there was never any compatibility to begin with, but the people managed to stay together through mutual respect. The sex is fine if not good, and that's all it needs to be for each to be happy.

For all the lack of intense love emotions, there's also a distinct lack of drama because the stakes are way lower.

So I don't think people should get/feel necessarily snobby over it. Things are what they are. Just because some choose to have a relationship where there's less investment and less opportunity to get hurt doesn't make the relationship a bad thing.

AquaLady, I don't know what you mean by this:

quote:

---

Why do men do this? Catagorize the friends and the friends+benefits. I think the friends+benefits usually remains as such and may not go much further.

---

Are you asking why men categorize? Categorization isn't a male-only thing.

If you're asking why men get involved in those kinds of relationships, women do too obviously.

As far as SweetLibra's comment that it may be a guy thing, I disagree. What's the greatest thing about a great marriage? Friendship. Most people who get married for a second time [after divorce] look beyond love for someone they can really be friends with. Love is often too intense and carries too great a load for the sensitive people.

-----------------------------------------

posted April 04, 2006 04:55 AM         

It's not that I think it's **wrong** per se...It just doesn't appeal to me.

I think some men are a-ok with it. But my opinion is: women....we're different. We are not men. I believe most, (if not all) women are looking for something much, much deeper.

Just my $0.02

posted April 04, 2006 08:00 AM         

Am under the impression that lots of men think women can stay detached from their emotions when letting a man into their body. I know few women who would end up staying in this state of non involvement........

Sorry guys, you may find you have a whole lotta trouble on yer hands unless you pick the ladies with benefits very carefully.

Its a Venus and Mars thing. The woman may make out she isnt involved.......but be careful what she says and what she is feeling can be two very different things !!!!

posted April 04, 2006 08:09 AM         

FWB is a cop-out for those of you who are afraid to raise your bar higher for true Love. That is why you make the excuses you do...reasons why you put real Love down....you have little faith perhaps.

But hey...different people are in 'different places' in their learning...their expectations of this Life Experience are maybe not as elevated as others. That is your choice.

I wish for everyone here to be open to the experience of pure and real Love.
The deep and soulful sex alone will transform you....and you will never want less again.

Good Luck!

posted April 04, 2006 11:35 AM         

Perhaps two people could come together and for a while the Heavens would open, the Earth would rumble, their Spirits would Soar. The Love could be entirley Passionate/Intense/Romantic and Meaningfull....felt entirely True from the Heart.

Yet...These days I believe less in looking for Definitions and Labelings for natural feelings of the Heart. To feel it fully in it's moment...Cherishing the Experience whole-heartedly as the gift it is in its Time.

For me, there would have to be Meaning and Gratitude...awareness of the Gift...yet releasing into the Natural Flow of where the Universal Energy currents take it in Time. Clinging/Expectations are detrimental on a individual Soul-level for both. In Freedom...in Adventure. Always with mutual Respect and Love.

Hope this makes sense. Basically, yes...Meaning, Awe, Cherish, INtenisty, Passion. I wouldn't waste my time with less, nor give of my Soul so wastefully. If I sensed the man was a simple man with simple desires...looking for an ordinary experience, he wouldn't be attractive to me.
But the MORE part is what doesn't feel right to me.
Looking a gift horse in the mouth.
Bending things to the will.

I don't think it's a 'man-thing'. Usually don't see things in such general ways.
There's plenty of self-absorbed women out there only ready to manipulate for their own self-gratification as well. Surely they can try to disguise it pretending to be someone they are not and mirroring what they believe the man desires. Does work for a time, til truth reveals itself in time and truer colors are shown. Shattered illusions...loss of respect. Man or woman...depends on the integrity and honesty of the individual, not their sex.

I walk away the moment I feel something less than mutual giving.

posted April 04, 2006 12:56 PM         

It would be interesting to know if many prostitutes, male and female, have his placement!"

Are you serious?

AG: I'm sorry to hear that.
________________________________________
Scorpio sun, venus, mars, mercury, and uranus
Libra moon, pluto, and asc.

posted April 04, 2006 01:26 PM         

If I may add my two cents...and keep in mind this is coming from the viewpoint of a woman who has been in a marriage relationship that is older than any of you are on this thread...our 41st anniversary will be celebrated this August. He's a Virgo with a Scorp moon. I am a Taurus with a Pisces moon. I love everything about him but that Scorp moon. Though we are very compatible I guess it is our moons that conflict but hey, when you love someone for who they are as a person, you just come to accept the things about them that may grate on your nerves. It's the sarcasm of his Scorp moon that grates on my Pisces moon.

AG, You are so right in that friendship is what makes good relationships last. The best relationships are the ones that not only begin with JUST friendship but the friendship always remains. Friendships last longer than love relationships anyway. Maybe that is because as human beings we tend to place too many expectations and too much possessiveness onto love relationships that we don't place on friendships.

Whenever you mix sex with friendship from the start the friendship is doomed. Male/Female friendships will either evolve into a love relationship on it's own and in it's own time, or it won't. Either way you will always have the friendship as the root of the relationship. I married my friend. He has always remained my best friend. I have been with him so long that he is a part of me. I cannot imagine life without his presence. Still we have maintained our individuality as persons. That's the way that relationships work best. Relationships work when the two become one soul, yet remain as individual persons. Relationships fail when one partner wants the other to be just like them. That is not loving someone for who they are as a person. It amounts to loving yourself. When a partner wants you to be who they want you to be rather than who you truly are as a person, you have to give up too much of yourself. Eventually resentment will replace love in that case.

Love just happens. Lighten up and let it happen. Love another for who they are as a person, not for who you want that person to be. Accept and embrace the differences in each other and accept the little things that grate on your nerves. Love should never require that one person give up their own identity to please another. If that happens you will come to hate the other for what you had to give up of yourself and the other will come to hate you for not being real.

Love never comes without conflict. Relationships are something that you can never stop working on and they never work out if both people do not retain their own true identity and remain individuals.

What ruins most relationships today is that they tend to begin with sex instead of just friendship. People don't give relationships a chance to evolve into something more. If it doesn't evolve into a love relationship you will always have that friendship. If it does evolve into a love relationship you will still always have that friendship.

Well, this turned out to be more than two cents but I hope it makes some sense.