posted July 14, 2006 11:40 AM         

Look at how much more passionate you are about it when encouraged!

posted July 15, 2006 02:51 AM         

It definately makes a difference when encouraged and thanks to you beautiful knowflakes. I think you have an uncanny ability to put yourselves in another persons situation and then advise....not just advise for the heck of it. Which is why it all fits so well and makes such a difference!

Of course here in my situation also the sweet lil shy virgo guy is making me all the more comfy so i can come outta my shell. I wonder why he's so tongue tied with me when he claims to be a flirt and stuff!

He's been extremely sweet these past few days and iam getting more and more comfy with him....yesterday was the sweetest! I mean it mustve taken him some courage to buzz me and actually say that he just wanted to chat when i was missiling him with work related questions!haha! He even said that he wouldnt take any work from me cos he knows iam busy and he wouldnt want me burdened.....

posted July 19, 2006 07:31 AM         

I think the trend this is taking is 'Just friendship'....

We have met quite a lot in the past few days within a group. For dinner, lunch etc. And the tension between us seems to have come down cos now we're at least talking!!!

He's taken to teasing me playfully and me reacting and all that animation...its just not the way a romance would go. Maybe friendship but not romance.

And i think since he's now comfortable with me he should be asking me out if he was interested but i dont see any signs of that!!!

Well, i gs a friendship is better than nothing at all right...?!

But its SO dissapointing because it seemed like a romance and its petered down to a friendship....

posted July 20, 2006 02:54 AM         

Maybe, cuz he's asked you out a zillion times, he's afraid to ask again. I think the time you took to feel out the situation made him think that YOU only want to be friends.

You may have to take the initiative, or you can be friends for a while longer. That gives you more of a chance to see who he is when his guard is down. Heck, ask him his time of birth. Tell him you are into reading charts, & you want to practice on his. Maybe you could ask if he wants you to read his chart for him.

Don't let it drive you crazy!! Do something to find out for sure.

posted July 20, 2006 04:36 AM         

Well i see two paths right now...

1) To take it slow and cool as of now and find out what direction this is going. Since we are quite regularily meeting up there are chances of me knowing the person as he is normally.

2) I take the initiative now. I hint at the treat he had asked me for and then go from his reactions. If its negative then well its just friends and positive then time will tell.

As of now i feel like taking it slow. Very many things are unsure as of now.

There are small things, symbolic things he does which throws me because we're not a pair yet:

- Eating frm my plate when i am eating myself?!!!!
- Holding an umberella out for me when he knows we would be the only two ppl in it and its so....romantic.

And then he will love ppl talking abt his 'girlfriends' which totally cheeses me off!Whats he trying to do?!!

So i come back feeling awfully confused as to what are this guys intentions.

It doesnt help that i myself 'ACT' something not myself at times when iam not comfortable and then it just gets worse...

Yes, he might just be shy abt it all or simply playing around...

Time will tell and i have my fingers crossed!

posted July 20, 2006 07:19 PM         

Youre right.....aaaarghhhh but my VIRGO moon doesnt make it easier to take the first step!!!!It freaks me out big time!

Its not like i havent taken steps before and they have worked out as well since a virgo moon would always anlyse and then take it forward so chances would be good of things working out.

Well, iam being overly overly cautious because i guess somehow things have been very much ;destined' here....

All this has happened because of neither of us taking the initiative....we were bought together. We are both extremely passive i guess so this is going nowhere....

I need all the luck beleive me!!!!

posted July 21, 2006 05:44 AM         

I still have that funny nagging feeling in my mind about him just flirting with me or him knowing that i feel something for him so hes just being nice but its not reciprocal....?!!!

Lets see....i shall have to see which road this takes...

Will keep the updates coming....if any of course!

posted July 22, 2006 03:43 AM         

The man who is not okay hundred percent is fine....but am i ok for him? And if iam then why isnt he ensuring that i know this? Why am i the one thinking and anlysing and getting all het up? Why is he so laidback about this?

Iam pretty sure he already knows that i do have something towards him....so why, if he loves me, doesnt he take the step?!

My virgo moon makes me anlayse but my venus in aries makes me very direct when and if the situation desires...and iam just waiting for a clue for me to really take that step...

posted August 02, 2006 04:44 AM         

Time for an update again....

Well we have been meeting in the group very frequently.
He has been coming down to my office quite a bit.
It is not heading the friendship way, theres too much chemistry.
It is not headed the commitment way either for whatever reason.

I am growingly feeling more secure with him.Its like my heart is covered with a soft glove. He is amazingly sensitive....at least with me...

And this is how our interaction is:

- When in a group of 5-6 people, with everyone teasing him abt his grilfriends and everyone teasing me abt my boyfriends (we all know its nothing serious), our energies scatter and its all very inconclusive.

- When in a group of 2-3, its better. Since we can interact a little. He gazes at me a lot. I can see it in his eyes, his words, his body language....everything. He's been acting very enthusiastic abt our meetings, he is very attentive to me and he seems very concerned. Plue....ahem....i blush to mention the times of close proximity when i can 'feel' the chemistry. He does stuff like standing very close to me, if iam passing something, he will hold my hand and well...yknow the stuff.hehehe!

- When we are one on one....everything is...SILENCE!!!! I still cant beleive that after so many interactions, when we are together, left alone for a while, we just shut up. Truly speaking, it just makes me more sure of his feelings and mine and our connection....

But....EVERYTHING IS SO SLOW!!!!

I have been friendly and humorous so he is comfortable now. He does do little things for me to show iam different then the rest but well, we are at a standstill....

Would appreciate some insight into this. Really, i simply CANNOT ask him out!!!I mean we are so tongue tied whe together that asking out would be crazy!!He hasnt asked me out exclusively either so here we are......just going with the flow.

What do knowflakes think? I used to be very impatient a week or so back. My emotions going sky high and then low but just now, iam enjoying the ride. But how long? Till when? Till where?

I dont know....and i would love your opinions here...

posted August 04, 2006 04:04 PM         

I introduced my gang of friends to my parents...and he seemed a little eager for some reason to meet them. The rest of the guys freaked out but he just wanted to?

And other incidents...he wants me to share his stuff. He wants to pay when he takes me out to coffee (in a grp!), he wants me to join them whenever theyre going out, He calls me up when theres a plan for the grp to meet, he wants me to sit beside him, he tries to initiate conversation (which never takes off!)....so many instances!

I remember once we had all gone out and and we were in general joking and then i went to the dinner table to serve myself some food. He was there as well and well....again...there was total silence. I have a very strong feeling he's trying to say something through this. I mean he knows we are now friends then why does he go silent whenever we are close? And i myself cant speak!!!!! Its like its just perfect actually but we need to TALK!

He had given me his cell to call up and after the same i held it up to him to take. This was in the palm of my hands and he didnt just pick it outta my hand. He held my palm in his!!!!!!!!I had to wriggle it out and leave the cell behind!!! I dunno....embarrassing...

Dunno what do you guys think? Is he flirting, does he like me? I dont see the flirt anywhere around but maybe this is his way of flirting?!

Ugh!i think the past really scarred me or am picking negative vibes intuitively....

HELP!!!

posted August 12, 2006 02:41 PM         

quote:

---

Would you be happy to be with a guy that always had his eye on other women....ask yerself this....
I know I wouldnt....

---

i disagree ,sue !
i always have eyes on everyone!
but its a fact, that i am more observant about people that i have a fondness for .

i keep an eye (and thats never in a degratory manner , i respect women ) bcos i love being with beauties and admiring them but that in no way means i am not commited .

may be thats the case with him too .

posted August 16, 2006 04:20 AM         

Hmm....update wise things are pretty much the same.

Just that he knows now that iam looking for 'marriage'...this happened during a discussion amongst us friends when i very clearly stated that its going to be a marraige partner for me now and not just a boyfirend. He knows the age gap between us and the designation gap as well...

All things said and done, its stuck where it was. Sometimes i feel that maybe i should do something and at other times i feel why cant he just come out and SAY SOMETHING!But, time will tell.

As for me making the first move, i CANT do it. Its my weakness maybe but from where iam coming from iam Waaaaay too cautious abt relashionships. On my part, i ensure that i give positive replies and body language to whatever moves he makes. I do see him becoming a bit bolder but well far from a relshionship.

The other fact being, with all modesty intact, everyone tells me that iam very attractuve/pretty blah blah. Yes, guys are hitting on me all the time and i feel maybe thats one of the reasons for him to be a bit shy abt everything......maybe.

posted August 17, 2006 12:41 PM         

i have been in the situation that your guy seems to be in .
so , you are older to him and above him designation wise ? ( sorry, if i missed something in your earlier posts )
i had that situation but i my case waht helped was that ,she was quite mature and a cancerian ,like me

posted August 17, 2006 11:00 PM         

From reading your posts I think the best thing for you to do is ask him how he feels about you. Does he want to stay your friend or does he want more. That way you're putting the ball in his court and he'll have to tell you something and at the same time you are not coming out and saying I like you, want to be my boyfriend? From your posts the latter wouldn't be in your nature.

The thing is you have got to get it out on the table. He may be taken aback or he may be grateful for the opening-because he too may be/probably is analyzing your relationship to no end too. You'll never know until you talk about it.

So, my advice is take a deep breath, gather up all your courage and go find out.

Good luck!

posted August 18, 2006 01:37 AM         

Iam glad to know there are people in the same situation esp of the opp gender! I really wonder what it must be like for him cos what i think is that barring age, for a guy, designation differences do matter. Its an ego thing maybe. But it doesnt seem that way with him...And well iam a mature lady but in relashionships, iam waaaaay to cautious like i said before.So how did u and your lady get together? Did u make the move first or she?Good to know she was a cancer. Iam sure its a very sensitive and sweet relashionship. details pls!

The Virgin, you are right...and i think one of these days i will have to do something....but everything said and done, and like ive mentioned in my post before, the fact that he is a 'Flirt' makes me back off so quick u wouldnt beleive it!

I mean, practically speaking everything is fine...hes been very sweet, concerned, caring whatever but the moment i remember that hes a flirt i start thinking that maybe he does this to every girl.Maybe theres no sincerity here. Whatever....

And i do feel that when u love someone sincerely you give that person a 'FEELING' of comfort and trust. That feeling is building up in me but not all there. Because yes, the day i feel i can trust him that would be the day i will definately put everything on the table and talk...

posted August 18, 2006 01:37 AM         

He has very consistently from the past month shown me that he cares....and i have very consistently given him positive replies whenever he has done so (for example, thanking him or smiling whenever he does something nice for me etc.)...And...he is becoming a bit bolder! Its awfully sweet to watch actually and i feel iam back in adolescence when guys and girls used to take years to get together!

But anyways, i still dont yet know whether he just wants to be my very good friend or boyfriend.It wld be all very well to be a good friend cos practically our age/designation gap wld promote only that. But like i said theres way to much chemistry operatin here....even till today we still cant really even look directly into each others eyes. And when we do...we cant look away!and whatever talk is going on then, ceases because the contact is so intense...which is why we get silent when together!

Yesterday he buzzed me on chat and said Hi.And then in brackets writes saying " Pls and this time its not for work".Moving on he says the grp was meeting and wld i like to come. I said maybe not cos i was really busy. To which he says"and what does that mean?""ermm that maybe i might not be able to make it?""Iam sorry but youre in....u are coming. Its done. Iam not taking a no from u maam."And when we ended it was all so very formal and sweet and decent.....i mean he actually wishes me a 'Goodnight'!!!!I mean i and my friends are always saying some crazy bye bye word and he was so gentlemanly!

I dunno, i kinda had a very sweet and secure feeling after that day. He's been making all the plans and he's been making sure that he contacts me everytime he does....aaaaah i cld go on and on.

But very soon maybe we will need to talk!Pls wish us luck knowflakes i.e if this is a true relashionship.

posted August 19, 2006 01:15 AM         

We met yesterday and something has changed...positive or negative i dunno...

Generally he is really open and fun when in a group. But yesterday when we were sitting exactly opposite each other...i COULDNT look at him at all!!!!I could feel such intense, intense vibes...it was crazy!I mean he was just staring at me sitting in front of me and when i looked at him he looked away....

aaarghhh...i really wonder whats going on here. Maybe its just my great piscean imagination or something....

Its all so personal between us somehow....

posted August 19, 2006 09:11 AM         

::But anyways, i still dont yet know whether he just wants to be my very good friend or boyfriend::

there is nothing as such being a good friend ,if he is trying to be around you , he most probably wants more than that just a sweet friendship .
then again, i always believe , there is nothing called " very good friendship " between a man and a woman . they can be friends but never very good friends , the day they become very good , they simply become couples .

what is the age gap between you people ?

do u think , he is in a position (financially) to propose marriage ? ( i didn't cos , i wasn't and may be thats the reason , i am cool off today - i even attended her marriage , otherwise i might not have )

again, you ain't going to initiate , so let me tell , in all majority chances , he will need a lot of indirect or somewhat direct signals .
i got that . i had at times , confusing signals ( cancerians can confuse anyone ) but i always i knew , i am not being ridiculed or something for my behaviour , i was always respected atleast on face ( now , i know , even at my back) but then i never actually said her a word till the day she asked me " did i adore her " and that was the day after her engagement
i was the first one to be told about it and one of the few to be invited for her marriage .

:::Yesterday he buzzed me on chat and said Hi.And then in brackets writes saying " Pls and this time its not for work".Moving on he says the grp was meeting and wld i like to come. I said maybe not cos i was really busy. To which he says"and what does that mean?""ermm that maybe i might not be able to make it?""Iam sorry but youre in....u are coming. Its done. Iam not taking a no from u maam."And when we ended it was all so very formal and sweet and decent.....i mean he actually wishes me a 'Goodnight'!!!!I mean i and my friends are always saying some crazy bye bye word and he was so gentlemanly!

:::
i am amazed , thats word to word my way of doing the things . (even today , i would leave the chair for her , i am normally sitting in her cabin bcos her subordinate and i get along very well )
a lot of time , i call her madam , just for fun . (though my boss calls her so , i am the only one to call her 'tum' otherwise all else refer her 'aap' and you know how it started , i would initially call her 'aap 'so she would call me the same . infact, she made me call her 'tum' in her own way . so try it this way , may be this would help bridge the designation gap. )

posted August 20, 2006 03:55 AM         

Yes well i did read somewhere that men and women can never just be good friends and guys would always be looking for a romantic liason but who knows...the extra attention though is a bit strange. He has quite a few LADY friends though and hes extremely maternal/paternal natured with them. Which is why i was posing this question...However, he is also very awkward with me as well and we arent the best of friends or very close so i dont understand why he wld act concerend abt me when hes NOT comfortable with me...!!!!!

Iam SIX years older to him!!(Everyone beleives i look 10 yrs younger and are shocked to know my age generally. Its a fact.)But i feel 6 yrs younger to him tho!

Well financial situation i dont know. I mean hes always ready to pay when we go out and all. But i dont know if marriage is REMOTELY on his mind for himself. Like i said he is my junior in designation bcos he is not a masters and generally in this country if youre not one you dont much rise in an organisation...

So you put in the fact that he might not have good career prospects because of his education and that he is 6 yrs junior to my age which is totally unacceptable by society....i can totally understand why he would never propose marraige to me.

The fact that he is showing concern is probably the only thing he CAN do in this situation and he is doing this. I dont think i can expect anything from him and i wont.Its actually very sad because its such an awesome connection.

Why didnt you ever propose marraige to her? Was it the designation/age gap?Dont you regret it? Were there moments when you wanted to?And what are your feelings for her now? Seems like you still love her and care for a lot!Then WHY NOT...?Maybe she would have been waiting for you to propose and you would have had a great life together?I wanted to understand why not cancerrg?

Wow!She must have really known you liked her for her to ask...and maybe she must have been interested too or else she would never have. Yknow its strange but...i would ask the same thing to him if i was getting married to someone else and he was my friend...

So what did you tell her when she asked? And had you told her your feelings before that?