posted August 20, 2006 03:56 AM         

I still remember the time when we werent close and i actually wrote him a really bad professional email.I thought he had blocked me on the office MSN and i expressed that it was not professionally smart to do it blah blah! I later found that he had NOT blocked me and it was technical fault!aaaarggghhhhh!!I still cant imagine WHY he never mentioned it or doesnt mention it to this day!Infact it was after that that we all became close and he has been so awfully sweet to me....I mean why didnt he come clear up that misunderstanding!!!Our fight started with the MSN and he is now buzzing me.....gosh!dont think i can understand him at all!

He still mentions our initial meetings....abt an year back when we had hit it off SO well. We were making each other laugh so much everytime we met and then the distance and misunderstandings happened. Long story....this has been going on for more than an year now. I know that the fact he mentions our past encounters so positively shows that he was effected the same way i was too.....

Yeah the madam thing he has been using for quite a while now and we both address each other as 'aap'. So really, designation wise i dont see any barrier. He seems to be very cool with it or he wouldnt have been so open.

Fact still remains that its where it was. All i see and feel now is him becoming increasingly moodier and a bit more expressive than usual but otherwise no, he aint asked me out or said anything to me. He does not contact me exclusively to go out or even to make small talk. (Of course when he does he makes sure that he says its not for work!). So basically he isnt really taking up any romantic exclusive initiative so iam left thinking that maybe its just me having these feelings....but whenever me meet i come back with a very strong feeling that he loves me maybe.

posted August 21, 2006 01:31 AM         

Me - 27th Feb - Pisces with virgo moon, sag asc,Venus Aries.
Him - 27th Aug - Virgo with cancer moon,Scorp asc, Venus Cancer.

I think i LOVE that cancer moon, scorp asc (Committed)...infact you might be right. I have times when i think i can totally get over it and move on. And he does seem to be the one more involved but i dont know....

I have read ALL of lindas books over and over again!!!!

posted August 21, 2006 01:32 AM         

I still dont know him Sweetlibra. Maybe it will be the same story as with your virgo guy.Myabe just end in a friendship which would be apt...

I just wanted to mention here that i feel a very STRONG spiritual bonding here....that were meant to be together for a purpose...a v serious purpose and not just romance.(i would appreciate if someone could look at our charts to see if there are any pointers to this: Me- 27 feb 1975, New Delhi,India,2:40am and him 27 Aug 1981,Hyderabad,India, dunno time)

I can give you 2 instances when both of us have worked together and the results have hit the sky/were the very best and we were applauded by ALL. Not only us but the entire team involved. Of course WE were the ppl who primarily worked on it...

posted August 21, 2006 01:38 PM         

ok, i am just trying to explain the things as good as i understand them .

::Yes well i did read somewhere that men and women can never just be good friends and guys would always be looking for a romantic liason but ::

its not only the guys , it can be gals too .
the logic applies to both , shall i explain the logic?

infact, i and the crab lady , i dont think we are very close too .
i wouldn't still put her among the friends whom , i completly trust . and i think its the same with her too .
we are emotional , i know she is too but at the same time we are bloody practical too .

as far faith and awakwardness are concerened , they will be addressed with time . you people are awakard near eachother bcos you both realise you have got that something extra which is still untold , i went through the same phase .
i would come to the office just to see her , find excuses to talk to her . and obviously , she could guess it too bocs that was something that i marked intially in her .

infact, we people grew closer after her engagement only .why ? simply bcos , she knew through my actions that this was one person who would never cross limits ( i think , this something that every woman is soooooooooooooo concerned of , specially incase of her new relation like bf or fiance ) thats why we could discuss things that we couldn't earlier .
may be she had guessed that much about me , thats why she told me about her engagement .

::::Iam SIX years older to him!!(Everyone beleives i look 10 yrs younger and are shocked to know my age generally. Its a fact.)But i feel 6 yrs younger to him tho!::::

same case here !!!!!!
i still treat her as some one younger to me .

ok, one more fact , she knew that i was younger to her before i got to know about her .

there still are a lot of things that are unexplained and i think they would stay that way .

::::I mean hes always ready to pay when we go out and all::::

ah, that wouldn't explain anything .
i gifetd her a brand new book , though i myself have never bought a book for myself , i have always borrowed it from friends and libraries .

marriage , ofcourse is distant but to say it not on his mind might be wrong .
as far as understand man , they see women gf and wife material . if he is immensely respectful , you never know he would be seeing the things with a future prospect .

i'll try answering all your queries , just give me a bit of time plzzzzzzzzzzzz .

sorry for making you wait .

to be continued ..........(as all teh saas bahu serials )

posted August 21, 2006 04:07 PM         

I hardly ever knew how he felt about me..

posted August 22, 2006 04:53 AM         

Some of the instances you have quoted regarding you and her...well they really match mine! I mean he comes to my office just to see me and then when he is around he wld pretend that he's come to talk to someone else! haha!And all the time his eyes are on ME!I gs he just acts like a kid!

Wow!U mean shes six years older to you too...!!!Does that in any way stop you from considering her as a partner ?(leaving aside the fact that shes engaged)

Well iam sure he knew iam older before i did...he has all the personal file access!And when i did come to know he was six yrs younger i was so very sad......because i gs here in India, age differences are very much considered...

Well i know that i think he thinks iam a nice girl...he has said it on an occasion or two....siding me up kind of...and well everyone can see iam wife material.And of course he extremely respectful of me too..

When he asked me out initially after we hit it off, yes maybe he was thinking iam GF material but now he knows so....iam just wondering what he is thinking....knowing that my parents are looking out for a 'suitable boy' for me?How wld u react?

Haha! Saas bahu serials indeed...i feel this story of mine seems to be like one of them!Wonder what ending is written tho!?

posted August 22, 2006 05:03 AM         

youre like a lil angel flitting in and out of my thread offering valuable insights into my situation....which is actually really what i want from a piscean perspective!

Yes i know that virgo's feelings are very deep and esp with a cancerian moon i gs it wld be worse...oh gosh i wish i had a more expressive moon but my virgo moon makes me ten times more awkward.

You know i have analysed this waaay to much and ive stopped. As of now iam just going with the flow and feeling kinda peaceful. Its just that whenever i meet him i just come back with one fact in mind....this is meant to be...its an overwhelming feeling and i have my past fears to contend with and so its a v confusing and emotionally up and down time for me.

Iam awaiting a conclusion but there seems to be none in sight.

Mama Mia wheneve we meet, i always decide that today i shall say something to break the ice but whenever in his presence i just shut up. And the feeling that he's the one calling the shots here....i neednt do anything much. So am just waiting it out knowing that maybe things will ease up if i take a step forward.

Well, iam saying that yes i will take that step the day i can trust him and the day he makes me feel that we need to discuss this.

As of now its just the friendly meetings. the hints of closeness with him and the gazing/adoring eyes and the thankfulness that after an year of this, we are finally together when an year back we had no prospects....its amazing!

posted August 22, 2006 09:51 AM         

Sarah I say this to say to you take a chance girl open up to him first, he may just need that first.YOu have good intuituon heck your a Pisces this is what we can do. So you already know that he is feeling you. Help him out a little, it will be ok, don't be guarded so much. Also if you have not pray about this and be still you will definetly know what to do.

I have learned now that I have to run everything by GOD first, cause sometimes we just don't know, but sometimes we do..

posted August 22, 2006 01:21 PM         

::::And then in brackets writes saying " Pls and this time its not for work":::

you know why this sentence is used , i used this one to make a point that i liked being with her and i a trying to be very open with my feelings , in a very modern way though being in a largely conservative society .
this straightforwardness as well as courtesy to make the other person comfortable .
i would normally go to her ( thats the way i do it today too ) lo ........ , mein phir aa gaya or something like , i missed u bcos i couldn't find anyone to chat .

this is to tell her , i like being with her but at the same time i am mature enough to understand the limits too so i am being starightforward and using the words like "chat"

:::::To which he says"and what does that mean?""ermm that maybe i might not be able to make it?""Iam sorry but youre in....u are coming. Its done. Iam not taking a no from u maam:::::

this again is to tell you , he finds himself close to you thats why he can order you rather than all the time putting a reqeust . ( i used to do this earlier , not in this relation though , now i dont push people in anywhich way )

::::The fact that he is showing concern is probably the only thing he CAN do in this situation and he is doing this. I dont think i can expect anything from him and i wont.Its actually very sad because its such an awesome connection.

::::

thats life ,maam ! (oops )
you dont get everything in life .

:::that he is 6 yrs junior to my age which is totally unacceptable by society....i can totally understand why he would never propose marraige to me.
:::

are you concerned about yourself or the society ?
take my advice , start thinking about yourself . you should be the most loved person in your life ( even i didn't understand it earlier but a lot of people helped me understand it especially the piscean dude )

::::Why didnt you ever propose marraige to her? Was it the designation/age gap?Dont you regret it? Were there moments when you wanted to?And what are your feelings for her now? Seems like you still love her and care for a lot!Then WHY NOT...?Maybe she would have been waiting for you to propose and you would have had a great life together?I wanted to understand why not cancerrg?

::::

why ,i didn't propose marriage ....hmmm....
simply bcos i couldn't .
it didn't have anything to do with her age ( those things dont make a diff to me )

designation , to an extent , may be or may be not , i didn't actually think of it that way . but i dont think it would have made much diff to me .

posted August 22, 2006 01:46 PM         

i didn't propose her a marriage bcos of my finacial siatuation not bcos of anything else .
infact, i had too let go a piscean before her bcos of the same reasons .
but thats life and it happens .

::::So what did you tell her when she asked? And had you told her your feelings before that?

::::
oh yeah , i said i liked her a lot but didn't actually used the word "love" cos i knew of her engagement.

no ,never . i hadn't told her anything but i knew that she knew .

::::I mean why didnt he come clear up that misunderstanding!!!Our fight started with the MSN and he is now buzzing me.....gosh!dont think i can understand him at all!
::::

there are a lot of things that i dont like about her or would like to ask from her but i dont ( to tell you something though , we had an altercation on the very second day before that we just had an intro , nothing else )

this is bcos , i usually give her a lot more leeway ( though i am normally a short tempered and starightforward kind of person ) than others and also i also fear breaking up of the relation .
the relation is too delicate and i undestand it .
other thing , i treasure her but if its the same with her , so incase the relations breaks it would be my loss and i am not sure about her .
in short , its insecurity , a bit low faith .

::He still mentions our initial meetings....abt an year back when we had hit it off SO well.::

posted August 24, 2006 05:08 PM         

I totally understand about letting my guard down and taking a risk. and i WILL do it. I have always in the past, gone with my intuition. However, i do feel that i shall do this if and when i can TRUST him. And that shall happen only when he says or does something more....tangible.

I know that he might be in the same boat but heck he is the guy and acc to natures law, he shld be the one making me feel comfortable.

Weel, maybe we will get there....maybe we will not. I shall post again another update for knowflakes to analyse.

Also i would point out that yes, iam already being very positive to him and i think he is taking the hint. He is getting friendlier and bolder in our communication.

My doubt is still however whether he wants a conclusive relashionship here or is he just happy to have it exactly the way it is right now. I wouldnt blame him if he wants the latter due to coordinates being totally wrong.

Thanks so much for your encouragement!It just steers me in a positive direction and thats so much needed for a virgo moon at least.

posted August 24, 2006 05:32 PM         

Thanks so much for taking the time out and analysing my situation in depth! Ive always been touched by the care and concern a cancerian will show to people and IMHO, theyre the sweetest, nicest people altho of course....the most sensitive of signs!

Ok so acc to you all those sentences he is writing and saying to me DO in fact point to the fact that he is telling me he cares...mmm....yes i gs i agree.

But it just frustrates me double time that he might not want a conclusion to this!!!!I mean whats the use of putting in the effort?? Might as well just never contact me cos you know its gonna hurt BIG time if i will eventually belong to someone else!

posted August 24, 2006 05:34 PM         

What iam saying is i agree, we dont get everything in life but dont things in life warrant a TRY? I mean if tommorrow iam not open to it then yeah he can say that well you dont get everything in life but if he aint tried to get it then how can he say that?!

Cancerrg it seems like you really liked her you know....i just wish you would have said it before she got engaged...who knows you guys might have been married then. And maybe your financial situation wouldnt have mattered to her (women are not so much for that kinda stuff i feel...)or nothing wld have mattered to her except you...anyways, of course you had your reasons and well i do think relashionships are destined things so i gs its ok....

posted August 24, 2006 05:35 PM         

I once fell for a cancerian and you know i think maybe a more fiery partner would really fit well with them. Theyre extremely vulnerable to hurt and this makes them insecure and awfully vulnerable!!!aaarghhh...that dude used to do something similar to this one. Come sit by me and not say a word so this huge silence envelopes us for ages....maybe they expect that the girl would say something....He never ended up saying anything tangible to me either and used to behave exactly the way this one is. I could notice his heart and emotions in his eyes...but he never came out of his shell...and ill never forget the heartbreak he gave me when he just quit the company and walked out of my life and never contacted me again...

Yes, its nice that this one still remembers our initial meetings. For a virgo he seems like one sentimental dude!

Once again dude, thanks SO much for making me see this in a positive light...i dont know what the ending will be but seems like the journey is bearable with knowflakes analysing this!

posted August 24, 2006 05:47 PM         

Well i mentioned that he has taken to visitng my office premises quite often!hehehe!I think its because of me and now that we have a close knit group and iam one of his friends then why is it that he will come and spend time talking to everyone else except me!!!Altho his eyes are always on me and he is always around me...

Plus he is unable to look me in the eyes!!!I mean he is SO SHY its not funny!I mean last time he visited we are both standing directly opp each other and looking in totally different directions!its like adolescence!

Ok so something v sweet he did...

As soon as he came by to visit, he comes up to me and i say a big HIIIII! So he goes all blushing and stuff and shakes my hand. And then very suddenly he slips me some candy in my hand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!And after this...he blushes again and runs away before i can say anything!!!!!!!!!!!!hahahahah!! I cant beleive guys can be so shy!So i scream out to him saying 'Thats SO Sweeeeeeeet of youuuu!!'

Very sweet and very boyish and touching. Of course for all that one hour he was there he was animatedly talking to everyone except me....

Oh and now MY friends and colleagues have started teasing my about my 'Boyfriends' in front of him...i dunno how he takes it. Of course he knows i dont have a steady so iam hoping he is not getting insecure abt that!Of course i always defend myself denying anything and everything but friends being the way they are never give up!

Well thats a sweet and short update. Lets see how it goes...his bday is comingbut he has told neither of us....iam just wondering how we will celebrate it cos its on Sunday!I really wanna wish him...

posted August 25, 2006 11:12 AM         

I really think i need to just quit this thing. No hopes of conclusion and its unecessarily taking too much of my time...

And everytime i get positive, someone or the other will always tease him about his many many girlfriends and i get totally, totally put off!!!!!!!!

I mean here we were deciding what to do on his bday when someone comes up and says maybe u shld ask him before planning cos he might be busy with his girlfriends!!!!!!!!!!!

I was SO HURT that i just backed out of the whole thing. I told the rest to go on and do something and inform in case theres a plan.

I seriously think i need to think practically here....ive floated away on my imagination just to be reminded time and again of his many flirtations....why should i beleive him? HOW shld i beleive him when he hasnt made anything clear?

posted August 26, 2006 12:48 PM         

:::::

agree . almost word to word .
but the point to be noted is , you are thinking form your mind in the matters of heart .
there are no known answers to it and it never will be .
its ultimately your call whetther you can hold your self from going with the flow .
i couldn't .

the point , i am trying to make is " you never know when you fall in love " ( did i u see kank - absurd movie but good tag line - maut aur mohaababt ka pata nahi hotas )
if u have too fall , you will fall for him .

:::No way will i ever align myself with what society thinks:::

check out swerve's posts , he once put up a very good explantion to it . i dont rem which thread it was in but it actually was terrific.

keep posting , i shall post tomorrow , i am in hurry , now . ( i actually was online at the same time as you , yesterday)

posted August 28, 2006 08:50 AM         

However, things have happened that will make us see this in a very different light now....and mostly i gs a negative one.

Well for the past week we have been meeting most often cos he has been coming down due to work to my office. The last to last time we met we found ourselves alone in the lift going to another floor. He was just listening and smiling while i was talking non stop.

Then i gave a fantastic presentation to the entire class and he said so. He looked kinda off though for some reason. He acted concerned...and caring and everything and when i said i had to leave he insisted that i eat something and then go. When i still said i need to go he called up another friend of ours who was about to come to hurry up so that i could meet him and go and he was basically by my side. When i did leave and glanced back he was sitting with a grp of people having lunch and just basically staring at me point blank.....he give me this funny...intense...hungry...kinda look. weird...

Anyhows it was his bday come sunday and he invited us all to a mutual friend for a party. We gave him a mutual gift, cake, friendship bands and cards etc. It was all fun. and then something BAD (acc to me) happened...

We all decided to play 'Truth or dare'. And it started decent but ended badly. Since in the way it became really really horrible.The question of course started with when was the first porn movie you saw and since this was a truth qn the persons had to talk. They did but skimmed over the topic since its pretty bad to talk this stuff when there are ladies around.

Ok, so the question comes to him and they ask 'so when was the first time you made out with a girl'? We were all uncomfortable and then he started....ugh!

And went into 2 instances of the same which it seems happened in office when he was in a conference hall with a girl and he held her hand and she was all over him. And then the second time on the worktable.....

I was STUNNED!!!!!!I mean i can understand that everyone has these experiances sometime or the other but saying it in front of the girl that you are supposed to like??????????I was purely sickened and my opinion of the guy just kinda changed DRASTICALLY after that!

Well then it so happened that the qn came to me. And he was the one who asked it...' So have you been involved with someone in the past 2-3 years and how'? Well if he was expecting me to say HIM then he must be surely DUMB!!!

I hesitated, looked around and then looked right at him (cos he had asked this) and said 'NOONE in the company'....but yes, maybe one in my ex company...

He was sitting right opposite me and his eyes didnt leave my face during the entire narration of my involvement with the ex company guy. And then i realised that i was looking into his eyes and telling him all about this. It seemed like an extremely intense moment where there was this dialogue happening only between us. Since he kept questionong me abt this and i kept answering him. When it ended i realised that this was just our conversation.

I wont ever be able to forget the look in his eyes when i was telling him this. In a v practical way i would term the look as 'Love'. I couldnt look away either....

During the time i was telling this, one of his questions was ' So was he your senior or...'. It was funny since noone asked this qn...I looked at him and said what does that mean? Well was he your senior or your junior in age?I understood and i just said that 'I didnt know his age'.

After which, i said well yknow there was one other 6 months back in this company itself. He asked me out quite often and at last i did agree to go out. I had just started narrating the story when he got up and left saying he was going to the mens room....and he returned when my narration had ended. He didnt ask about it and he didnt mention it or ask any questions either.

Then came the turn for DARE when they aske dme to propose to someone in the group. I picked a guy who was married cos he was safe. He was extremely enthusiastic during the time i was proposing....The chosen guy blushed so much that i ended up saying that i might have to pick someone else or i might just propose to all the 3 guys here....to which this guy says 'But iam only a kid!'.....i dunno if he meant that i was older to him or cos it was his birthday but i HATED it!

Anyways, so this is what happened yesterday. After all this, he seemed quite merry and happy or whatever and i was quite detached.Additionally it seems he has been showing some extra concern for a v close friend of mine in the group. Everyone knows she has a boyfriend and so does he. It just makes me think he is this one slimy, sicko, flirtatious shallow guy!!!!!!!!!

I want your opinion knowflakes...it wld help. Altho i have made up mind and had too in the past 2 -3 days but this has reiterated my decision.

What do you guys say?!!!!

posted August 29, 2006 10:46 AM         

i ( i guess a lot others guys might too ) fortunately or unfortunately find a lot of similarities with myself .

i will give you reasons why, bragging about their exploits is something that young men want to do , this is basically to gain attention or also to tell people how many women are behind me ( but i guess it has opposite effects on women , i was jokingly telling how many girls in my office are behind me to my friend's mother and sister, the other day and i could see a momentary glance -they spared me from any criticism , may be bcos they know i am a joker and second bcos i am her son's most close friend )

so in one word , it was completly immature , he is still to grow ( slim chances - he might be bad character too )

second . about his being close to another woman , i 'll tell u a fact about men , they are just like that ( especially the one who they have the flirting capacity - to an extent i am like that ) unless they have commited . and he never commited to u .
i agree , he might be wrong but men dont really understnad signals they would rather understand actions .

basically men -women diff .

just would ike to add a point , what do nu do to this kind of men ?
help him grow , be patient , be lovable and change him .
it can work ( it always does in our movies ) and what if i was in your situation , i wouldn't like to leave him but wouldn't believe him too .
you might give him a chance , if u feel like but be cautious and try being detached , infact i would suggest you start practising it so that when you ( incase ) leave him , you dont have any guilt within you .
you will have reasons to satisfy your self .

lastly , if u have decided about him , thats pretty ok but i would ask you to see beyond whats visible .

i am in no way defending him .

all this doesn't apply if you are averse to the idea of him being (sexually ,precommitment -ofcourse )with other woman .

posted August 29, 2006 01:48 PM         

You are way overanalysing this.

You are shy, he is shy.
There is a spark, the synastry is good. You know he likes you.

One day, SOON.. get the guts to initiate. just very boldly, take a breath, and say
"I have been sensing this between us.....Do you like me?" Ask it open ended, and with an encouraging look on your face, to suggest that yes indeed, you like him too and will encourage, not laugh at his answer, so there is nothing to lose.
Or do it in another way that you are more comfortable with. you kow him, you can talk with him.. just do it.

Or this will never get past the over analysing frightened to initiate, forever crossing signals stage.

That's my advice.

Sometimes it's just simple.