posted July 31, 2004 08:20 PM              

As for being 'observer' or 'partcipant' in dreams, 26, I am a participant, in my body (or someone else's!) 99% of the time. I have had dreams where I was just watching the actions of others, but they are rare.

posted August 01, 2004 02:34 AM              

On the dreaming of family members aspect of your dreams - it is interesting. I also do not speak to any of my family - except my mother - and we have always had a VERY hot and cold relationship. On and off. I do speak to my brother when he contacts me - which is not often - only when he needs something. He's been a drug addict for years. That's it for family.

I, actually, rarely dream of my family members. I think this has to do with years of having to deal with not having a "normal family". Or coming to terms with it within myself. It bothered me for a long time, but I have learned things and changed over the years and I am okay with it now - after alot of soul searching. I've always been a loner and actually been comfortable with that aspect of myself. Just because someone is related to you by blood does not mean you must have a relationship with them - in my book. Especially if it is not a healthy one.

Interestingly though, last night I had a dream and my mother and brother were in it. It was one of those dreams that takes awhile to shake off after youve woken up. In the dream, my ex-boyfriend from a few years ago, killed my mother. I walked in the room and saw her dead on the floor. He grabbed me and said we needed to get out of there and go somewhere far away - quickly - because the police would be after us soon. The strange part is I obeyed and agreed - not a typical reaction after someone kills your mother.
I was really stressed out in the dream. We were frantically trying to get as far away as we could by foot. And I felt at any second we would be caught. As time went on, I started to get upset at what he did - though I didnt make it known to him - because I was afraid if he found out that I was turning on him - he might do something bad to me. So I was secretly trying to come up with ways to get away from him and get to the police. He sensed this and started to get angry. I tried to deny it but he knew I had a change of heart. The next thing I remember was looking over my brother while he was sleeping on a couch. I was thinking that I had to wake him up to tell him our mother was dead, but I was in alot of anguish about having to do this. I decided not to tell him because I remebered he had to work that day and I should wait until another day. (him work? Ha!) Then I woke up.

OMG. Sorry for the long post - got a little carried away there!!! Didnt mean to hijack your thread.
It's a full moon tonight.....

~~*The End*~~

posted August 02, 2004 07:53 AM              

My monitor has lost its red. All the warm colors are now a sickly greenish. Until I get a new monitor, it just sucks to look at. I may not be on much for a while. I'm using the time to encode movies.

posted August 02, 2004 01:24 PM              

Encoding movies??? Sounds complicated.

Not seeing red, eh?.............?.......

posted August 05, 2004 02:49 AM              

dream #1
I was walking down an alley of sorts, at night. There were the backs of buildings to my left, as you would expect from an alley, but to my right was only a low wrought-iron fence, about three feet high, and on the other side the asphalt continued in a parallel path wide enough to be a one-way street. There were 'shards' of glass, ranging from about six inches to a foot high, sticking up out of the ground in the alleyway I was in. The shards were shaped like coffins, except that rather than having a flat top, they came to a point. Like an enlongated pentagon. All the edges were beveled and sharp. I was trying to hurry as fast as I could through the glass-shard-spikes without stepping on any of them or cutting my shins and legs up on their edges, because a serial killer was following, with another of the shards in his hand, held like a knife. I knew I couldn't take the time to try and jump the fence to my right, because in the time it took me to get over it, the guy following me would catch up, and kill me.

I eventually came to the end of the alleyway and out of the shard-spikes, into a more open area of asphalt. The buildings to my left had ended, too, and I could see the street. I turned left, but was accosted by another serial killer. He was maybe twenty feet away from me, and throwing triangles at me. These were flat, like card or paper, but I knew that the edges could slice me, so I did my best to dodge them.

posted August 05, 2004 04:33 AM            

Definately some themes and symbols running through your dreams, such as being upstairs. In general, I am seeing this as an indicator that the motivating force behind much of your dreaming life is emanating from higher levels of consciousness - the superconscious or higher self.

The 6/26 dream provides a good example. Stairs are generally an indication of progress (or regress) but in this case seem to represent a landscape of sorts, the lanscape of Mind. To me, this scene symbolizes a new awareness (white) of internal processes (geometric surroundings) and progress. The link between the higher and lower selves (stairs between floors) is being realized and understood (white), but not without some difficulty (how to delineate edges?).

It is therefore appropriate that you find yourself on the way to school, for this dream is about spiritually driven, important learning.

I think the department store scene represents putting these "higher lessons" into practical use, although there is something else about the scene that I cannot quite put my finger on - something about both no choice (stuck going with kid), and choice (store).

The last scene of the 6/26 dream is compensatory - lack of female companionship in waking life.

That's it for the first dream.

posted August 05, 2004 04:48 AM            

The first scene suggests that you are avoiding something, or that you are carrying something within that is causing you anxiety. Perhaps this dream is suggesting that there is a need for a different perspective (you become casual observer).

The second scene suggests that you may need order or discipline in your life (in a military unit). It is suggested that you have concerns or fears about the future and the role that you will play - a sort of identity confusion or 'crisis'. It seems that you are anxious about your life's path (crossing the street was a big deal). You feel lost, probably concerning love, and perhaps you are not too closely in touch with the feminine aspects of self (woman lost), which could be contributing to the problem.

posted August 05, 2004 09:55 AM              

I have a thought about the "department store (choice/no choice)" issue -- I feel my choices are very constrained at the present. They may or may not be, I don't know for sure, but if they are and I act too freely, I could get hurt very badly. Hope that helps some.

You're wicked good at this -- and you say you have yet more? I hope you find the time to post it, I'm all ears.

Again, thank you!

posted August 05, 2004 01:14 PM            

Dream from 6/27 ~~

More material emanating from your higher self (upstairs). Suggested is unconscious material (black bugs) which is threatening (or "bugging") your 'understanding' (feet). This material has invaded your "comfort zone" (couch), which could pertain to love/relationships (love seat). The humanoid animal is a reflection of a transitional stage of a particular aspect of your consciousness, one which is developing. This transitional aspect of consciousness is seeking out and/or is energized by the unconscious/secret/unaware material (black bugs) which is currently affecting your understanding and/or foundations (feet). In essence, growth ... perhaps difficult at times.

posted August 05, 2004 01:25 PM            

A very long and detailed dream! I'll hit only the basics.

This dream indicates that you are on a lonely path. It is difficult at the moment, "up and down". It is a time of empty emotions (winter/snow). The distrust/dislike that is prevalent is either a reflection of a person/situation in your life, or it is about yourself. The "evil kid" suggests it is about yourself. He is you, so you are torturing yourself, you harbor negative feelings about yourself and are very hard on yourself - too hard perhaps.

Why do you suppose you were looking for your grandmother in the dream? Love or security come to mind.

The rest of the dream reiterates your hidden anger and your need for inner healing. Also suggested is that you do not feel in control of your life path at the moment - someone else is "driving".

posted August 05, 2004 01:47 PM            

This is all about your inner self, your sacred space. Every person and object in this dream is a reflection of some aspect of self. The people represent those traits/qualities in yourself. The woodish, park-like area is your subconscious. The sacred spot is that place within self. The lake is your personal unconscious (as opposed to the collective).

So basically, the dream indicates that there is a conflict within self centered upon the violation of, or attention that your sacred feminine center has recently been receiving. A "subconscious investigation" (wooded park-like area) has turned into a deeper look into your unconscious (lake). Even so, you have only begun to scratch the surface (shallow). Your "inner witch", or your sacred feminine center has begun to teach you something, "The witch was telling us how we should all have clear eyes, and something about the sun being the reason they were white." What do you feel this means?

Anyway, it could be that you have inadvertently drawn too much attention to certain areas of your self/psyche - symbolically 'feminine' areas - and this has you feeing a bit awkward. The end result, however, will be a more in-depth look at yourself and no doubt some lessons as well.

posted August 05, 2004 02:11 PM            

1st dream -

There are some terribly strong emotions running through you (lava). There is something about yourself that you do not want to see (turn from TV), something dark in nature which has connections with emotions that have been repressed (lava underground). 'Emotionaly in need' would well describe a lava-vampire ... are you?

2nd dream -

Both buildings represent different aspects of self, different internal structures at odds with one another. The upper floor of the apartment building reflects a higher perspective or consciousness from which you are looking closely (binoculars) at another part of yourself (the government building). Looking out from the darkened bedroom suggests that your higher awareness is conflicting with some subconscious energies of a 'darkened' or less aware nature, something repressed perhaps.

So what part of yourself are you scrutinizing? The government building suggests a power structure of some kind, perhaps the way you relate to the world power structure in general, with suspicion and ire (I'll join you on that one!). You see the structured world as "mechanistic and impersonal", taking control of individuals' sensibilities (I struggle with the same vision). It would appear that this attitude/perspective is in confliction with your higher ideals - so what it all boils down to is the age old struggle between the material and Spirit ... you are reaching a crossroads.

A question - is it the world you see becoming machine-like, or is this something you feel in yourself, or both?

posted August 05, 2004 02:20 PM            

Again, if there are any questions about how I arrived at certain conclusions, or if you want me to comment upon something specific, please let me know and I will do so.

posted August 05, 2004 02:32 PM            

Thanks.

posted August 05, 2004 06:20 PM              

I can't tell you how valuable this information is to me. I feel I owe you, Ra. Many thanks!

posted August 06, 2004 04:52 AM            

About your last dreams ... together, they both seem very political in nature. Have you been in some heated political 'discussions' lately? I seem to recall some mention of that a while back. I suppose I could go on down to Global Unity and find out. ... I think I'll stay here.

posted August 13, 2004 11:10 PM              

I had just bought something and brought it home. It was pretty gross and scary. It was like a living sculpture, of a friend of mine that had died recently (possibly in a scientific/industrial accident?). It was grown from his cells or whatever. It was like his upper body and head and part of his arms lying down, trapped into a flattened base of flesh. Very slug-like overall. I brought it home, put it on the bed, and was watching it writhe and twist. It would try to say something, but the words were never fully formed or intelligable. It's not like it was aware of my presence or anything, it just seemed to be in pain and uncomfortable, trapped in its current form. Like it was was re-living a bad memory or having a painful nightmare. It was all greenish-yellowish-tannish, but the colors were subdued and gray. None of the features were defined in detail, which is why I say it was like a sculpture. Anyway, I'm watching this thing, kind of revolted and disgusted and scared. I think I went out of the room for a minute or something, at any rate a short time passed and I was watching it again, and it sprouted long, very thin vines from each side. They wenat all across the room and I remember avoiding the touch of some of them. The vines sprouted little pairs of pods every few feet, little round green pods, which I knew would grow into... something. Like the sculpture was reproducing, but the pods wouldn't grow into replicas of itself. They would be the same in essence but not in form. Several of them did. They were horrid monsters, resembling the original thing somewhat but with arms and legs and fully formed features. Someone else came into the dream briefly then, but I don't remember anything about that. I only remember chasing one of the monsters outside onto the patio, reaching it just as it had reached this other person. I knocked it to the ground and when it hit the patio, what happened was as though it had been a fragile-skinned container of bright green slime. It burst and the green slime splashed. Then another monster came at me, and I fought it tooth and nail. It was trying to kill me, and I had to kill it first. During the fight, I grabbed a chainsaw, but it had a plastic cover over the blade. The monster wrestled the chainsaw away from me. During the struggle, trying to get it back, the monster had it gripped by the bladecover. I pulled it out of the cover (like drawing a sword from a sheath), just as he was reaching for another weapon behind him. The chainsaw was on (apparently) and I started cutting into him deeply, gore and ichor spewing up in my face. I felt I was going to be sick...

posted August 14, 2004 01:33 AM            

Interesting dreams. At first I saw these dreams in a political light, but looking a bit deeper I can see that they thematically fall in with the others you have posted.

The way I see it, the first dream suggests that you have been diverted from your goals in some way (alley) - or at least you feel like it. You are dealing with repressed energies - emotions - (behind buildings on LEFT) that are being blocked from expression (fence on RIGHT). Your awareness of this is only partial (glass shards) and you are actively avoiding whatever "point" your subconscious is trying to make. You fear that your balance/stability could be at risk (shins/legs). This constant suppression (serial killer) results in anxieties (being chased). In some way you may feel you are loosing your identity or some part of yourself in some situation.

Even as you attempt to deal with, or escape from, these energies and get back on the "main street" by "turning" to a more receptive state (left), the problem persists and you find yourself "accosted" by the same, or perhaps different, repressed/supressed emotions (serial killer #2). One of my books says this of the triangle, "aspirations/potential/truth" ... you are "dodging" this, because the truth hurts? ... afraid of your potential? ... worried your aspirations will fail?

The second dream is related, as most dreams of the same night are. You feel misunderstood. This has something to do with an immature or undeveloped perspective (kid's show). The question arises ... do you feel that somehow, in some way, people see you as incompetent or inadequate, but knowing that they are not aware or do not understand the reason/s for their false beleif? Or are you simply afraid of failure? Oh, the frustration of it!

posted August 14, 2004 02:37 AM              

But your insights are extremely valuable to me. I *must* delve deeper -- I've got to root this thing out. Drag it kicking and screaming into the light.

If I'm going over the top here, and you think this material doesn't belong at LL, I'll stop posting it. But if that is so, and there's some other way we can continue this, I would like that very much.