posted August 14, 2004 12:23 PM            

Keep on bringing it!

posted August 18, 2004 05:57 AM            

As horrid as this dream appears to be, it indicates that you are successfully fighting your inner demons. Again, the theme falls right in line with your other dreams.

The "living sculpture" of your dead friend symbolizes unconscious energy/material. In fact, it is the undifferentiated mass of unconscious energy from which all other problematic energies originate. It represents the root cause of whatever your problems are, and the dream indicates that because you have decided to explore this dark, amorphous area of self, because you have accepted it (bought/brought home), the entire core of it (living sculpture) has moved a bit closer to conscious awareness (bed - it is a bridge between the unconscious and awareness).

"It's not like it was aware of my presence or anything, it just seemed to be in pain and uncomfortable, trapped in its current form. Like it was was re-living a bad memory or having a painful nightmare."

It's not aware of your presence because you are not fully aware of it's presence. It's pain and discomfort is your own. It is the bad memory and painful nightmare that has been existing within your unconscious for a long time, nearly forgotten, but manifesting from time to time in varying forms through your thoughts and actions (sprouted vines/pods/monsters). As you said, "They would be the same in essence but not in form." - precisely what I mean. " They were horrid monsters, resembling the original thing somewhat but with arms and legs and fully formed features." Again, precisely ... the individual monsters are manifestations of the same root cause, and the monsters are aspects of self, fully formed and functioning expressions of the root energy. As indicated in past dreams, here, too, you "avoid the touch" of these monstrous manifestations of inner turmoil and pain. It is only when they get out of control, when they begin to express outwardly, leaving your inner world, that you are forced to take action (chase monster onto patio).

What happens next is interesting. You are forced to "tackle" the "monster" before it hurts someone, besides yourself - makes sense. But why does it burst into bright green slime? Let's see if I can explain it ... because when we defeat our own "monsters" we become newly aware (bright) of the growth and expansion (green) that comes from recognizing their true nature (slime).

Learning the hard way, to be sure, but learning and growing nonetheless. And, just like the last dream, just when you think you've won the fight (or escaped it), out comes another to do battle with.

You said, " I've got to root this thing out. Drag it kicking and screaming into the light." ... that is exactly what is going on.

posted August 21, 2004 12:24 AM              

This dream was interesting in that my point-of-view kept changing from observer to participant. Several parts of it are hard for me to remember, but I'll lay it out as best I can.

As an observer: I saw a town whose inhabitants had become like zombies, taken over by something, their individual wills subdued. I can't remember what they looked like clearly, but several things stand out. They were colored more like ghosts, being white and gray all over -- even their clothing. They had crazy, evil expressions, big eyes. And something about trailing strips, like loose wrappings on the proverbial mummy. Whether the strips were pieces of their clothing or what, I'm not sure. Also here I vaguely notice wrought-iron fences.

Then my point-of-view changes to participant, and I am aware of a shift backward in time. I am back at the beginning of whatever had happened to this town, when it just began to take hold. I am one of a small group of people sent from elsewhere to investigate strange goings-on there. I am in a house or building of some kind, and some of the people we are investigating are there. They are showing us something, claiming that something wonderful has happened to them or that they have made some great discovery. Most of my group is led off into other rooms to see other things, and from this point on in the dream I am on my own. The people I'm talking to sit me in a chair, and are going to reproduce an experience for me that they say one of them has had, with "amazing success/results". A semicircular iron band is clamped over my left arm at the elbow, and a hollow screw is screwed down through it until it's pressing against the major vein there, where doctors often draw blood. I am not scared yet, just curious. Then a thin needle at the end of a wire is put down through the screw until it pokes into my vein just a little. They are not going to draw blood or inject me with any drug, rather I understand it has to do with electrical current. At this point I somehow instinctively know to flex or strain, not physically, but mentally. I feel electrical current in the needle, making my whole arm tingle, and my shirt-sleeve bursts into a small flame from it. Someone slaps the flame out. The needle is taken out of my arm. I am intrigued. The experiment is repeated with my other arm, but this time when I feel the electricity, I know something has gone wrong, something bad has happened. My energy seems drained; I want to lose consciousness. I sense that whatever has happened to me was what these people intended all along, that I have been tricked in some way; I sense their satisfaction. Again the shirt-sleeve bursts into a small flame, again someone slaps it out. They unclamp my right arm, and I slump to the floor at the foot of the chair. I pass out.

Then I am an observer again, watching myself scurry through someone's front yard in the darkened night, staying low to the ground. I seem to have camouflaged myself in a covering of leaves. For some reason I cannot see myself in this part of the dream, there is just the vague sensation of moving leaves and that it is me. Also vague notions of wrought-iron fence again. I don't want to be caught by them. Or anything else that is lurking out there. Then I am making my way across a back yard, along a low chain-link fence, when I run into someone, or rather a group of someones, also running and hiding like myself.

At this point I am a participant again. The person I found grabs me by the arm and yanks me across to the corner of this yard where two sides of the chain-link fence meet (the corner is overgrown with some kind of leafy vine), just as I realize there is a pack of white-and-gray wolves standing in the next yard, past the fence. I get a sense that there are children in the group of 'survivors' I have just become a part of, and I am very scared for all of us. As we run, the wolves start snarling and give chase. We hop the side fence, but that puts us in the path of the wolves. We start to run, but they overtake us, and I fall to the ground as others are felled. I cover my head with my hands, thinking that I am about to be wolf food.

Then someone is standing beside me, and the sounds of a wolf attack are gone. I look up, and there is a wizard-looking fellow, tall hat and all, long white beard and hair, dressed in gray. (Somewhat reminiscent of Gandalf from the Lord of the Rings, but I never made that association in the dream). He is peering back into the distance behind me. I get the impression that he drove off the wolves, but that the others I was with had already been eaten before he got there. Also, we are not in the same location, rather we are in fields and hills, on a dirt path like a road. (This scene change while my head was lowered to the ground doesn't seem unusual, or is even noticed by me, as happens so often in dreams.) I sense that I am out of the 'haunted' or 'possessed' town, and free to go.

Then I wake up.

posted August 24, 2004 03:21 PM              

I don't know WHAT to think of this dream. I wasn't going to post it because I don't remember all of it, just disconnected pieces... but it is so strange and varied.... and the more I thought about it, the more it disturbed me. So what the heck.

I was walking down a dark residential street at night. Here and there were kids/young people out on their lawns by the street, gathered around their cars, hanging out. I sold something I had to one of the kids. Got five or ten dollars for it, for some reason the amount was never quite known to me in the dream. Walking along, I started wondering if any of the kids had drugs I could buy. I sold another object I had in my possession, I was thinking, man, if I could just sell a couple more things, I could get some drugs.

...

I'm walking down a REALLY dark country road late at night. There is some noise like a bunch of people, maybe a party, off behind me and to the left. I have a pair of sticks in my pockets, the size of drum-sticks (not chicken legs, the ones you actually play drums with). They were black and shiny and smooth, like a pair of chopsticks I have that are terrible to eat with because they have no grip on your food, and tapered from about half an inch at one end to a little narrower than a pencil at the other. I was coming up on city blocks, still darkly lit, a lot of shadows. Someone was walking ahead of me, some smaller or weaker person than myself. Somehow I knew, as though I had seen it already with my own eyes, that up ahead there was someone waiting around one of the corners of a building to my left. Someone bad, who was waiting to jump out and "get" anyone who walked by. I felt pretty sure that he was going to get the person walking ahead of me, but I was determined he wasn't going to get me. I pulled the sticks out of my pocket and started doing martial-arts butterflies with them. Yeah, anybody who tried to grab me was gonna get it. I never seem to have made it to this lurking danger, though...

...

Now I've arrived somewhere. I'm in a house, in some girl's bedroom, but she isn't there. There is a hole in the ceiling, but not a rough jagged hole -- almost like it was part of how the house was built. Sunlight is pouring down through the hole, and I go and stand in it. I start having a conversation with a voice coming from the sunlight above. It tells me about some quest I have to go on. Then it tells me to make sure that the sunlight changes all my clothes before I leave. So I turn around a few times in the beam of sunlight, making sure that it touches every bit of me. It changes all my clothes to yellow and a light green. (I was wearing tights and elf shoes, like Robin from the old Batman stories... and I think a cape, too.) i also make sure my sticks have been color-changed by the light. They get turned light green, too. "Oh, springtime colors!" I say. The voice asks me, "Did you get the glove, too?" I realize that the glove of my left hand has turned blue, then look behind me to see the other one still sitting on the bed, out of reach of the sunlight. I pick it up, but instead of just putting it in the sunlight, I hold it up to a spot near the hole in the ceiling, and a gloved hand reaches down and takes it. (The gloved hand belonged to the voice, that was obvious.) It pulls the glove up into the ceiling through another vent or hole of some kind, and hands it back out a few seconds later, and now it is blue. I say thank you and put it on. I go to leave the room, to go out on my quest, but I turn just before reaching the door, and address a gerbil or hamster --- some small fuzzy animal in a cage on the dresser -- as though I were still speaking to the consciousness of the voice from the light. "When she gets back, will you tell her I said 'hi'?" I ask the animal. (She being the girl whose bedroom I'm in.) He says something to me that basically means, "Yes, sure I will," but does it in a way that tells me he thinks I will probably see her myself before he does again.

...

I'm walking down the residential street again. Still night, still dark. But now there are "kids" everywhere, lots of groups out by the street, more then twice as many as there were before. As I walk past the groups I hear that a LOT of them are trying to sell drugs. I realize it would be useless for me to try to sell stuff here now -- too much competition. So I walk to the end of the street, and go around the corner to the right, where I'm walking on a more main road, at the front of the houses whose backyards emptied into the street I was just on. As I come around the corner, a large dog crosses my path. Normally this would scare me a bit, as I can't handle the thought of being attacked by a dog, but before fear even has time to kick in, I relaize that the dog has paused in the street to look at me, and I can hear a truck coming up behind us really fast. I know the dog is going to get hit by the truck, so I just continue walking, up onto the sidewalk. Sure enough I hear the wet impact and a yelp as the dog is hit by the truck, and I look back behind me. The dog has been broken in half at the waist... but it's still barking. Angrily. At me. As I'm watching it, its front half lurches forward toward me with every bark. It's getting closer and I start to walk away quickly, thinking it shoudln't catch up to me in its condition. But it does, so now I'm running from the front half of a dog, barking over and over so it can get to me. I go around a corner, and then another one. The dog is little more than a head now, and it finally catches up to me. I am scared of being torn up and killed by it, and grossed out by the fact that it will get its blood and gore all over me in the process.

Then I wake up. (Thank god!)

posted September 15, 2004 07:54 AM              

*bump*

posted October 03, 2004 10:15 PM            

Interesting, as usual. I cannot decide whether the symbols are representative of purely internal processes, or if they represent some external influence ... probably some combination. I am going to try and keep this as simple as possible, mostly because of time constraints, so please let me know if there is something specific you want to know more about, or if I miss something.

For now, I am going to approach the symbology as internal - having to do with self - and we can later make needed associations with your external world.

Your dream consciousness is observing your psyche (town), the inhabitants being aspects of self. These are parts of self that have been closed off (grey), no longer functioning as servants of your will (zombies), automatons.

And the wrought-iron fences emphasize the strength of the barrier (and perhaps the depth) that these aspects operate within.

The next scene reflects your current "investigation" of your psyche and these imprisoned aspects of self.

It seems as if you were misled or duped in some way in your past, and this began the process that eventually led to the gradual displacement of your will. It was at this time that certain aspects of yourself became unconscious. I don't know what event/situation initiated this process but it almost feels medical in nature, although I also get impressions about family and childhood.

The next scene tells us that at some point in your life (probably childhood/adolescence) you feel isolated (wrought-iron fence), you do not want to be noticed, and you are highly anxious. You meet some people that you finally have a common bond with, but they are taken away from you - or you from them. There is a great deal of horrific emotion surrounding this.

Now, how to explain this ... the wolves and the wizard are polar opposites of the same energy/force, one reason they both appear white/grey. On the surface, the wolves symbolize internal energies out of control and the wizard, control of energy. So this part of the dream represents a turning point in your self development/realization. On a deeper level, at least in my 'book', both of these symbols are spiritual in nature. The wolf epitomizes primordial fear (a real motivator!), but it can also stand as a spiritual signpost, pointing the way. And the wizard, more than just representing control, symbolizes an at-one-ment with creative force, and a controller of destiny. As I see it, the spiritual expression of the wolves in this dream manifests as extreme difficulty in waking life experience, almost unbearable, but necessary to fulfill whatever plan your soul has in Mind, and certainly necessary to appreciate the power of the wizard. The wolves devour the weak so that the strong may survive. Your inner wizard (perhaps a guide) is delivering you from weakness, from fear, from your past. ... you are "free to go".

Thoughts?

As an aside about the wrought-iron fences ... this symbol has appeared before in your dreams. I am wondering from where the symbol originates. Do you have any recollection of wrought-iron fences from your childhood? Did you live or visit somewhere that had them? Or perhaps a movie? Oh, and what about dogs, do you have a fear of dogs? If so, from where did that come?

posted October 07, 2004 08:45 PM              

I'll give you my thoughts on the dream from 8/21 and your interpretation of it before I lay down the next set of subsconscious spectacles.

quote:

---

It seems as if you were misled or duped in some way in your past, and this began the process that eventually led to the gradual displacement of your will.

---

The only way I can think of in which I was duped would possibly be my early upringing in a Christian (Baptist) school/church. From kindergarten through 6th grade, I was "indoctrinated" into the Christian religion, more or less against my will -- but when you are young and everyone around you behaves as though their beliefs are "the Truth", you generally have no choice but to assume they're right. Christian religion being based on fear and guilt -- the notion that we are all "sinners" at heart and need to be "saved" by adherence to external laws and beliefs -- in that way I was definitely "duped", but of course I only began to realize this at the age of 16 when I threw out all my previous ideas about 'Life, the Universe, and Everything' and decided to start re-building my beliefs anew from a clean, blank slate. It could be called the beginning of my 'spiritual quest'. And of course it was not until many years later that I came to realize how deeply the foundations of guilt and fear were buried within me. I am still uncovering more of those foundations, and finding out that even my "newer" beliefs are sometimes, somehat built on top of them.

quote:

---

The next scene tells us that at some point in your life (probably childhood/adolescence) you feel isolated (wrought-iron fence), you do not want to be noticed, and you are highly anxious. You meet some people that you finally have a common bond with, but they are taken away from you - or you from them. There is a great deal of horrific emotion surrounding this.

---

I can only think of two events in my childhood/adolescence that this paragraph might describe: the first occurred when I was 12, and my family moved aaaaalllll the way across the country. I went from attending a tiny, private Christian school/church to attending larger public schools. Let's say it was like a major culture shock, and that I discovered I was very, very "socially inept". The second event that it might refer to was the unwilling loss of my first true Love when I was 16. Without going into detail, I was pressured to "break it off" with her by both her parents and mine, and legal action was being threatened, and so I caved to the pressure. She died a year later and I feel (felt?) partly responsible for her death; another guilt issue. As I see it, I took away the one good thing she had in her life (me), and she stopped caring about her life, because the rest of it was ugly. Anyway...

quote:

---

The wolves devour the weak so that the strong may survive. Your inner wizard (perhaps a guide) is delivering you from weakness, from fear, from your past. ... you are "free to go".

---

This rings true. I am going through a period of major tearing down and rebuilding within myself right now. My fears are being unearthed and thrown in my face like crazy, and I am now at the point that I not only know that I have to deal with them, but also how to deal with them. it isn't exacrly fun, but I'm grateful anyway.

As per the wrought-iron fences: I can't recall them ever being a motif in my waking life, but I have always loved the gothic look and feel of them in general.

As per the fear of dogs: I do have somewhat of a fear of dogs, probably because when I was 8-10 years old, the little girl down the street who I used to play with got mad at me and sent her doberman (big dog to me at the time) to chase me as I pedalled away on my bike hysterically. I do fear being attacked by dogs, and I get nervous when I see stray dogs roaming the street when I'm walking, but on the other hand, I genuinely love and respect animals, and if I am introduced to a dog and it's friendly, I'm cool with it from then on.

---

Okay. I had totally forgotten about the dream from 8/21, I have been so looking forward to hearing what you might have to say about the dream from 8/24. BUT, I had three dreams in a row the other night, and though I can't remember a lot of details from them, I'll give you what I've got, because they, too, seem suggestive of current events and current internal states.

In three days I am going on a trip, and will be gone -- away from my computer -- for six days. What will transpire on this trip is very important to me -- possibly a life-changing event. And I think these dreams that I'm about to describe probably have something to do with it. So -- hopefully I am not being an a$s by asking this -- if you could possibly find a few minutes in the next three days to give me your impressions, it might be a real help to me.

---

In the first dream, it was one day before I was to take my trip, and I suddenly realized that I had to make a certain preparation that would require me three days. I was panicked. (I know this is probably just a manifestation of anxiety.)

In the second dream, I and my 'mate' (I have no idea who it was in the dream) were "swapping partners" with another couple. And the female of the other couple, whom I was going to be sleeping with, was someone from my real-life past, who I wanted for quite a few years but could never have. The dream never actually progressed to the actual sex; the overriding theme/emotion here was of me getting someone who I had wanted for a long time but was previously unable to.

The third dream I remember a bit more of. It was an unusual dream for me in that I was watching myself from outside -- 3rd person perspective -- but I usually dream in 1st person perspective. Anyhoo... I was Spiderman, and I was in an office building. There is the vague notion that the "boss" of whatever company operated in that building was a "bad guy", that he didn't like me or wanted to get rid of me because I was a "good guy", and that he may have had something to do with what happens next. Some of his subordinates were in league with him, but I think some were also unaware. Oddly enough, no other human figures prominently in the story but myself. I was in either a large hallway or a large room in this building, all the doors were locked tight, and I was being attacked by water. First it tried to fill the space and drown me. Then it became a wall of water and tried to rush me. At one point I got a door open and the water and I ended up out in the front room, like a reception area, of the building. I defeated the water this way: using some kind of inner power like telekinesis or what they call "psionics", I squeezed the water tight into a cube that was somewhat smaller than the space the water would normally take. Thus it was under pressure and I knew it would flood out from its containment if I released the pressure. I did so aiming at the front door, and I watched the water flow harmlessly out the door and into the street.

---

Sorry I can't provide better details from these. Please, if there is anything you can say about these dreams or the one from 8/24 before I leave to go on my trip, I would owe you a big debt of gratitude. And if not, s'cool; I know you're a busy guy.

and , my brother. If there's anything I can ever do for you, just ask.

Many, many thanks for all the insight you've shared with me in this string.

posted October 09, 2004 05:07 AM            

BUT, I do have some thoughts, and I did make some notes. To expedite our conversation, I'm going to cut to the chase and give you my general ideas/thoughts so that hopefully we can have one more round of discussion before you leave. So bear with me, like I said, some of these thoughts are only partially formulated, but definately disorganized.

-------------------------

Very generally, the dream from 8/24 ~~

In the first scene you are "walking down a dark residential street at night." This has to do with the "dark" side of self, the unconscious, unawareness. It also suggests a desire to escape reality.

In the second scene you are "walking down a REALLY dark country road late at night." This has to do with the "dark" side of self, the unconscious, unawareness. It also suggests confronting reality.

A pattern here?

Or could the dream "reality" actually symbolize illusion? Escaping illusion, confronting illusion? Is there a difference? Anyway ... confliction.

There is a great deal of symbolism and many multi-leveled connections in the next scene ... but the general idea is definately about transformation. The sunlight is awareness (the first two scenes, unawareness/darkness). The voice is your higher self (same as the Wizard, another archetypal symbol). The color changing of your clothes suggests that awareness will change your personna, your outer personality "coverings" ... changed into yellow and green, transformation/awareness (yellow) and fertility/growth (green) ... it is an inner process beginning to manifest in your outer world ... and the blue gloves suggest that you will interact with the world in more of a state of spiritual alignment, alignment with your higher and lower natures (blue).

Talking to animals is talking to self, some level of your unconscious. Talking to a gerbil (appropriately in a cage) suggests a relatively deep level. This talking gerbil symbolizes your unconscious voice, just as the 'sunlight voice' symbolizes the superconscious, or higher-self-voice. So, your dreaming self presents these two together as if to reinforce the idea that a higher force, the higher self, is reaching down to the lower. As above, so below ... as within, so without. I'm getting too caught up in the details ... (but I wonder about the missing girl)

Your 'unconscious self' (gerbil) believes you will "see" this situation/issue consciously, in awareness, pretty soon.

In next scene you are again walking down the street in the dark ... unconscious energies/urges/"addictions"(?) now becoming conscious - you are becoming more aware of them (main road/front of houses). Now aware, work (truck) is being done to "kill" the threatening material that you have uncovered. But it won't be easy, it will pursue you, all of the ugliness of it ... but his time you are aware.

The basic idea I get from this dream series is that you have been dealing with some difficult stuff, conflicting energies within. But change is coming, or is happening ... transformation.

----------------------------------

Now, as for your last three from 10/07 ...

The first one ... anxiety, yes. You're not sure if you are ready. Your subconscious is suggesting that this trip is part of a process of development (3), so you may feel ill-prepared in the beginning.

Second ... this is saying something about a possible exchange of energies. Are you getting something that you have wanted for a long time, but were previously unable to? Is there some kind of trade off? (I am wondering what your 'mate' symbolizes)

Third ... Internally, you are doing battle. But you are ready, you are prepared, you are strong. You are fighting either unconscious material, or emotions (water) ... but you have it contained, and you can willfully direct the flow of this energy, in awareness (front door), releasing the pressure, defeating the internal 'bad guys'.

What are you preparing for? What has got your mind so occupied?

Just let me know what seems right, what wrong, and where we need more information.

posted October 09, 2004 02:37 PM            

One thing, about the 'missing girl' ... I could be reading far too much into the symbology, but I can't help but notice something else with the colours that could be related to the missing girl (at least in my mind). Thinking alchemically, which I often do when dealing in dream colours, and assuming a simple four stage transformation process, I notice that three of the four colours associated with the four levels are present ... one is missing ... and the girl is missing/not there ... the colour white, representing the third stage in transformation, is missing ... and in an earlier dream you were in need of three (days) ... the third stage represents new knowing, newness (knew-ness) ... you are/were missing 'new-knowing' ... do you see where I am going? Is the missing girl the missing stage, the missing element in your quest for completion?

In light of what you posted, I find this thought intriguing ... and remember that this thought began taking shape before you posted, so I was not influenced by your remarks.

What do you think?

posted October 09, 2004 11:13 PM            

You siad, "Now, what of the idea that my "transformed" self is going to see her before the gerbil?"

Not exactly what I meant. The way I am seeing it, she is part of the process of your transformation ... she is needed to complete the four stages of the 'alchemical' process ... you will not fully 'transform' until she fills the gap. I said "pretty soon" because of the attitude of the "gerbil" ...

To me, white has the same meaning as you, along with newness. Alchemically, it represents the third stage of transformation, new knowing. It seems you are familiar now with what that means.

The 'trade off' ... your mate ... a feminine aspect? ... intuition? ... feeling? ... I am not sure yet, just a percolating thought.

I've got to go now, but there is really not much more to say at the moment. I wish you the best with your trip, and I hope it is truly as important, and as fruitful, as some of your dream-possibilities suggest. You are just going to have to experience this, for whatever reason.