posted June 26, 2004 07:54 AM              

... I had just been dressing for school in a room on one of the upper floors, listening to my mother ask the bus driver to wait. She said something to the effect of "we can't allow this one to be late," and the bus driver nearly repeated it in his agreement.

Then I was running down the steps to get to the lower level, the front door, and the bus. Stairs everwhere -- to the left, to the right, above and below. The entire landscape of these few moments was clean white planes of surface: the walls, floor, ceiling, and the stairs, which had no handrails. No objects, light fixtures, furniture. I think perhaps not even shadows dared to sully the pristine rectangular and cubic whiteness of this place -- but without shadows, how did I delineate edges and corners?

Then I was getting into the bus, thanking the bus driver.

...

After school. For some reason I couldn't go home or do whatever was normal for me to do at that time. I was "stuck" going to this department store with some kid, but I didn't seem to mind too much. He didn't stand out as a true and known friend, but we got along all right.

There was another kid with us, possibly his brother.

Well, it seems that it was this kid's usual habit to go to this department store and play with a certain toy they had there. It was a radio-controlled car of sorts (I now remember it had no antennae). The control for it was unusual. It wasn't the usual box with dials and/or levers. Rather it was like another of the cars, but with a circular base connected to the bottom by a 360-degree ball swivel. You sat the controller-car on a hard surface and tilted it, and the other car would turn accordingly.

We were sitting near the front of the store, at a large intersection of aisles, where there was a square stand (displaying the toy) and several outdoor folding chairs set up. We sat in the folding chairs and I and the other kid (and the first kid's sister, I think?) watched the first kid racing this car around and around our little area of floor. Sometimes shoppers would stop for a few moments and watch; some of them would grin as though remembering the simple joys of childhood.

Then a young female employee of the department store came over and angrily told us we'd have to stop. "You've ben doing this for twenty days!" she told the kid. She went on for a few minutes berating him. I culled all my powers of persuasion, and in my humblest, most no-really-i'm-not-making-a-judgement-just-curious kind of voice, I asked her why this seemed to anger her so much. "I mean, you must understand, from an outsider's point of view--" (for surely if she had watched the kid do this for twenty days then she knew this was the first time I had ever been there with him) "--that your reaction seems a little bit... well... out-of-proportion. (slight pause) Are you sure this isn't some... (here I struggled to find the word "misplaced" quick enough to not break the flow of my sentence) misplaced aggression? I mean, maybe there is something else that is angering or frustrating you, that you can't do anything about, so it comes out here, where you can do something about it?" While I was speaking she had drawn up one of the folding chairs and sat down, never taking her eyes off mine while doing so. She had started to shake her head in denial at first, but I had actually gotten her to think about it. I felt the usual excitement (these are the moments I live for: understanding something new about a human psyche, whether mine or someone else's).

...

I was back at ... home? In the white place again, on the upper floors. There were two girls here who were both infatuated with me. I was caught in an embarrassing position; I hadn't expected the second one to show up there. (Note that she did this of her own will and not necessarily by my consent, desire, or foreknowledge. But of course visitors are always welcome at my house, at any time... always have been.) The second girl was hinting at some incident from earlier in the day, in which she had gotten spaghetti spilled all over her bib overalls, and I had done something to help her afterward. (Me? Helping a woman out of soiled clothing? Perish the thought... ) She was making these hints in the presence of the first girl. It wasn't out of spite; I think they were both quite unaware of each other's feelings for me. I hadn't accepted either of them, yet, but I hadn't rejected either of them yet, either.

...

And that's all I can remember. I had forgotten most of the dream as soon as I woke up, but those few episodes were still there, standing out as the important and memorable bits.

And this is really lame and boring for one of my dreams. There will be better ones, I promise!

posted June 26, 2004 04:45 PM              

"But where did it come from?" she asked.

"From the future," I explained. "I brought it here with me. I had to get away from there." I made some general comment about how things had become too tense, knowing that I didn't have time to fully explain to her what the world would become. I had to leave the area quickly. Someone was following me.

Then the scene repeated itself, but this time I was a casual observer -- someone else was from the future, saying the same things to the woman.

...

I was part of some kind of government/military unit. But not like the military as I think of them, in their camouflage with their strictly regimented habits. This was more like TV-military. We spoke less formally to each other and wore outfits that all had the same color trim. Yellow, I think. There was another, similar unit here with us. I think they had red trim. 'Here' was some kind of headquarters situated on a busy street. We were in a large room at the rear of the building, something like a gymnasium but not used for that purpose. There was a lot of gunfire. We were trying to catch and contain someone, or several someones. If it was several then they certainly had a leader, or one person was more important, because it was he who I feared. He was the one from the future...

Well, there was a lot of confusion during the shootout, and whoever it was got away. Some of the confusion was due to the team in red trim, for some reason they weren't sure of our identity, and tried to disarm us just like they tried to disarm and catch our mutual quarry.

Afterward, I was in the front room of the building, which looked out onto the busy street. There were a couple others there, some were men of my rank and a few of the commanders or whatnot. We were assessing what had happened. One of the red team's men said something like "better safe than sorry" about holding us at gunpoint also, and I was angry. I was more angry that our objective had gotten away. "There were that many guns in that room and we couldn't catch him?" I demanded. The others didn't know his danger, and I knew they would never believe he was from the future.

Then I had to go outside and go up the street, to get a pack of cigarettes. I was nervous, afraid this man would find me, would jump out of a time-portal behind me and catch me unaware. I was jumping at shadows, and then embarrassed because of what the passers-by must have thought.

For some reason crossing the street was a big deal, but eventually I got up the nerve to do it.

...

Then I got lost, turned around somehow. There was a woman walking, too. She was lost also. I had to get back to the motel. There on the corner was the K-Mart, the motel should be just across the street from that, but it wasn't.

---

posted June 27, 2004 10:14 AM            

We certainly don't mind your dream journal being here. Would you like some interpretive thoughts along the way?

posted June 27, 2004 11:17 AM              

--

posted June 27, 2004 07:39 PM              

I envy your ability to remember your dreams with such clearity.

I rarely remember my dreams. When I do they are quite lucid, but maybe two or three a year stay with me.

My husband says I'm quite active in my sleep. A lot of whimpering, but mostly a lot of physical activity (tossing, running... that sort of thing).

posted June 29, 2004 07:08 AM              

I didn't remember anything from the last time I slept, which is why there's a delay in my posting. But I'm only a few hours from sleep right now, so who knows? Maybe later today I'll have another crazy story.

posted July 04, 2004 05:51 PM              

---

It was winter. Snow covered everything. I was on a lonely path. [Half-formed ideas: On the outskirts of civilization... going back to it, I think. I was party of a group of schoolkids. There were others, some before me and some behind me, with the same goal/destination, and that we were hunted or suspected by the majority of people, that we were doing something we "weren't supposed to do", because we had to.] Following this path beaten by footprints in the snow, I/we would periodically have to climb up these hills, which was a bit dangerous because the snow made them slippery. At the crest they would be a part of some kind of wall/mass of eartn on either side, with only a small opening to squeeze through on my belly. There was someone at the top-of-the-hill hole, someone I didn't quite like or trust, and who didn't quite like me, either. He would take something from me, something I was carrying with me (the first time it was a couch cushion, I think?), and pull it throught he hole, then take me by the hand and pull me through. Then I would come sliding down on my belly to the bottom of the hill on the other side, and continue walking. Twice this happened, and though I made this walk mostly alone, between the first and second hill there was a girl following behind me. We had a few words as we walked, but again there was that vague sense of distrust or dislike,but we weren't enemies.
...
A small group of us, four or five, and we were coming to a clearing. (I think about here it ceased to be winter, but I didn't pay any attention to that fact while I was in the dream.) I knew there would be another kid there, a scrawny little runt with a hateful heart, a sneering little fellow, and that he had plans. He was going to "capture" one of the people I was walking with, and torture him. I'd put a stop to that, I thought.
...
For some reason the others were starting to move on, to coninue past the [evil, short-statured kid]. I was talking to him, maybe arguing with him, pacing a bit, and as I turned toward him he blindsided me with a brick or something like. I went unconscious for a short bit.
When I came to, he had me tied up, and had installed a prince albert of sorts on me, which had a rope leading from it, thus making an incredibly effective tether. I dared not risk making him mad; one pull on that rope... [shudders]. So he tortured me, for hours. I remember him throwing things at my face. I remember him riding on my back and making me play "horse". All of this was terribly tiring, I was exhausted and in a lot of pain. He realized I wouldn't be much use any longer and let me go, took whatever restraints he had on me off along with the... metal. As he was "untying" me he was making leering cruel jokes at me, like thanking me for "so realistically wincing in pain" and such, as though it had all been an act, and that what had happened was by my consent as much as his. I walked away from him hurting, tired, scared to look at the state of myself after its mutilation, because it was so sore. I really, truly was scared to look. All I could think about was revenge.
...
I had to get to grandma's house. So I went there, but it wasn't grandma's house, it was my cousin's. I was in her living room, and she was in bed with some guy. I could hear them. My instinct, of course, was to wait politely for it to be over, but eventually I couldn't wait any longer. I had to find grandma! And I still didn't know what kind of damage had been done to me. I called out something to my cousin then, letting her know that I was there and that I needed to talk to her. The guy in bed with her, speaking in this incredibly swishy voice, said something to the effect that I might have been someone he had slept with once. I remember shouting then, angrily and with tears running down my face, that that was impossible, and that this was important, dammit, "I have two extra holes in my...!" Well, they came out of the bedroom soon after, and of course she seemed to hardly notice the emotional condition I was in, or care very much about my problems... nonchalant is a word that comes to mind. [This makes a kind of sense because my cousin really is an incredibly selfish creature.] She/they were getting ready to leave her apartment, to go somewhere, and her ex-boyfriend arrived at that time. [He has never stopped pining for her, though none of us can understand it.] He and I are on friendly terms; he of course quickly agreed to drive me to grandma's house.
...
On the way there, he pulled his car into a train-station of sorts. More like a subway, but the cars were like flat-bed trains. I asked him what in the hell he was doing, and he said he was trying to take a shortcut. Then he actually pulled up on the rails! There was a train parked and ready to go through one of the tunnels, and two other trains were circling slowly on the network of tracks between us and it. [These trains were all automatic, no other people were around.] He timed it to get into the loop between the two trains, and pulled right to the parked one. He got out and jumped up on one of the flat-beds, and of course I followed suit immediately, knowing that the circling trains would wreck with the abandoned car in a minute or two. I understood his plan now, we were hitching a free ride on the trains, which would take us straight into the city where grandma lived, much faster than we could drive there. I didn't like the idea of leaving the car there to wreck the other two trains, but what could I do? It was already done, and my needs of the moment were strong. And I was so tired. So I didn't argue, I just followed. Well, the train we were on took off almost immediately, and we went for several miles over open ground, then back into tunnels. The flat-beds of the train "cars" were made of a metal grillwork, and were layers stacked on top of each other that could slide out like a fireman's ladder does. He called out to me but I couldn't see where he was, then all of a sudden he appeared on a level of grille below me. We amused ouselves with these multi-leveled sliding floors untilI noticed the train had stopped, right at the exit of a tunnel. (The engine was the last car, pushing all the flat-beds. We were the last flatbed, and so first relative to our direction. So when the train stopped, we were a few feet from the tunnel exit.) A policeman looked in at us, and told us we were in trouble for causing the pile-up at the train station.

The policeman took us to a gas station, where we waited for his fellow officers who had been looking for us, and the detective/paddywagon/whatever else. I wanted to take him aside and explain that it really wasn't my fault, that it wasn't my idea and that I had gotten dragged into it with no warning. But there was no way to do it without the other guy knowing.
Then the other policemen arrived, and I could see they already had him in handcuffs, leading him away. I knew then there was no time to explain anything. They wouldn't listen. I had to run! Oddly enough (looking back on it), I was dressed similarly to a group of (??? firefighters?) who were at the gas station. The only thing that separated my appearance from theirs was their helmets. I thought, if I could create a big commotion, grab one of those helmets and put it on, they wouldn't be able to tell me from the others, and in the confusion of sorting it out maybe I could slip away. I dove for the group of [firemen/whatever they were], falling into the center of them. But I was still identifiable. I pulled the helmet off one, put it on, and threw myself into another know of them. [I "suddenly had" a gun, but it was one of those dream-situations where one moment you didn't have something, and the next moment you've had it all along.] The gun clattered to the ground as the police rushed toward us; I clutched it back to me instinctively, but instantly realized that when they found it on me it would identify me. So I skidded it along the ground away from me. I had to be very watchful for a chance to escape, now...

posted July 07, 2004 01:14 AM            

Wow Paras, "humanoid animal"

posted July 15, 2004 02:04 AM              

You naughty girl. I think YOU need a spanking too!