posted October 17, 2004 04:46 PM              

The theme of "transformation" has definitely played out in the past week. May still be playing out, who knows? But as early as yesterday evening I began to consciously recognize changes in myself.

The number of "coincidences" I have been experiencing lately is far too large to be coincidental. Actually, I think I'm just seeing more of the synchrony of life. Through all my time on the bus (44 hours going and 44 hours coming back), I met people in similar (yet also dissimilar) situations. Names and words from my life leapt out at me from other people's conversations. And my own. Also, the numbers 4 and 8 were everywhere. I met a lot of really good people. (Or maybe I'm getting better at seeing the good in others?) I still can't say what each little experience meant, but I know they were all meaningful to me in some way.

My trip was nothing like I expected. In fact, it seems to have had the opposite effect of what I had wanted. But, strangely enough, that's okay with me.

On the way back, I had a strange precognitive period (or so I'm going to say in retrospect) where I experienced the emotions I should be feeling now, after the "suprise" that waited for me when I got back. I read three books in that time, and I think somehow I internalized their message very quickly. Or their message re-minded me of something I already knew but had forgotten. Something in me is different. Where I would expect myself to be angry, bitter, resentful, and depressed, I'm just... not. Where I would expect myself to feel empty, I feel full instead. Where I would expect myself to feel directionless, instead I feel free.

I think I confronted my aloneness more directly and honestly than I ever have before, and I've remembered that it's not bad, or painful, or scary.

One thing's for sure about the eclipse: nothing will ever be the same again.

Just thought you'd like to hear.

posted October 18, 2004 02:36 PM            

Fascinating. What you are experiencing is very much like what your dreams foretold. Re-read them and I think you will see it. Indeed, things are as they should be ... and I can't help but to be reminded by your post that the value, the really important stuff, is often found within the journey, and not the end itself.

posted October 22, 2004 09:51 PM              

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The dream takes place in a large, colonial-style house. Two-story. What I remember most about it are the doors to the various rooms on the upper floor, they were the old style with the grid of panes, you know?

Anyhow, I was one of three guys being 'kept' there against our wills. I get the sense we had been tricked into coming there somehow, or had just been generally unaware of what would befall us. There were four 'people' keeping us there, a man and three women. Only they weren't human. They looked human, but they weren't. What they were, I couldn't tell you. Aliens? Monsters? Who knows. I'll say 'creatures'.

The male looked rather American Indian and had a terrible temper. He didn't show up too often in the dream, but he was like the leader of the group. The females were more passive -- kind, even. Anyway, the females were 'feeding on' us three (human) guys somehow; they'd have us lay down beside them and there would be some kind of tranference of energy from us to them. I loath the phrase 'psychic vampire', but maybe it's a fitting description.

Most of the dream was me (and sometimes the other two guys trapped in that house with me) trying to find a way out. I remember going through the rooms on the upper floor -- at night I think, the rooms were darkened except for oil lamps sometimes -- trying to find a way out. I was carrying several things with me, one was a small, light blue, ornate box. It was somehow special to me, I didn't want to leave it behind, but at one point I dumped all the stuff I was carrying in one of the rooms. Then I had an ugly confrontation with the male/Indian creature in the hallway, he was mighty p*ssed at me. I had to kind of talk him down, I was afraid he'd get violent. He was upset about me trying to leave, he was saying things that amounted to me being ungrateful.

Then I remember another scene where the females were 'feeding' off us again -- except that mine wasn't. We were lying next to each other, smiling, and she didn't seem to need to take energy or essence or whatever frome me. In fact, we were in love. I heard someone in the background talking about some legend or old story (from wherever they came from, I guess) about one of their kind that supposedly didn't need to do it. I realized that she was the one they were talking about, but they didn't know it.

Fuzzy memory of a fight or confrontation. I think we finally got out of there, and some or all of the creatures were killed.

---

Hrmm, well, looking over that description it's pretty lame. Sorry! Better luck next time...

posted November 09, 2004 02:08 PM            

This dream begins among old, outdated places within your psyche (old style doors/rooms) as they relate to a situation in which you are/were "generally unaware of what would befall [you]". Old thought patterns make you feel (at first) as if you have been drained of life, probably by a relationship. But the situation/relationship is not what it appears to be - you expect to be "drained" from the experience, but instead find that it was purposeful, needed for future growth ... it was necessary, perhaps even "predestined" (legend).

During this process that you are undergoing, you are exploring the "darker" or more dimly lit aspects of your psyche, your being, trying to find your way out of their influence, learning about yourself. There are things you must release (leave stuff behind). I would like to know more about the "small, light blue, ornate box" if there is anything more to tell. Why was it special? What was in it?

This dream could represent a turning point in your perspective.

What do you think?

posted November 12, 2004 12:13 PM              

"Old, outdated places within my psyche" have very much been pushed up into conscious awareness for my examination, due to a relationship/situation in which I was "generally unaware of what would befall me". And it wasn't what it appeared to be at all. But looking back, it was "purposeful, needed for future growth". I can even say "predestined", as the timing of recent events was centered around the two October eclipses, both of which have lived up to their astrological reputations.

There has definitely been a turning point in my perspective. My attitudes toward love, as I experience it (to a Libra, life's most important activity!), have been irrevocably altered. And I'm glad.

The major change can be summed up in the word "acceptance". I can now accept many things that I previously regarded as unacceptable.

I don't remember the dream well enough now to tell you more about the blue box, except that it might have been from her, the psychic vampire in the dream that I was in love with.

posted November 12, 2004 02:13 PM            

Thank you for your kind words. I hope you find the balance that can be your path as a Libra, and I wish you Peace as you continue your journey.

Walk in Peace, my friend. I hope you can pop into this forum in the future and let us know how you are ... believe it or not, I will be wondering and thinking about you for a long time to come.