posted January 22, 2010 12:08 PM            

Just for me, I would much rather have the guy who has perfect everything else over sex. If you look at the divorce rate, it goes to show how many people are blinded by certain things & cant make the core aspects work to stay together. Sex eventually fizzles out in any marriage, but a good man always stays a good man. "

I was checking out Infidelity Statistics

Infidelity Statistics

Below are compiled statistics on infidelity and marriage:

Percentage of marriages that end in divorce in America: 53%

Percentage of "arranged marriages" (where parents pick their sons or daughters spouses) that end in divorce: 3%

Medical field(s) with the highest divorce rate: psychiatrists and marriage counselors

Percentage of marriages where one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional: 41%

Percentage of men who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they've had: 57%

Percentage of women who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they've had: 54%

Percentage of men and women who admit to having an affair with a co-worker: 36%

Percentage of men and women who admit to infidelity on business trips: 36%

Percentage of men and women who admit to infidelity (emotional or physical) with a brother-in-law or sister-in-law: 17%

Average length of an affair: 2 years

Percentage of marriages that last after an affair has been admitted to or discovered: 31%

Percentage of men who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught: 74%

Percentage of women who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught: 68%
http://www.infidelityfacts.com/infidelity-statistics.html

Statistically speaking, men cheat for a single primary reason: sex.

Human beings are not monogamous by nature. They don't mate for life with the first person of the opposite sex they come across. And it's because of this biology, it's believed, that many men experience the natural urge to "spread their seed".

Now to be sure, in the case of marriages or committed relationships, there is far more than just biology at work. Many men report a loss of sexual desire for their wives after children are born...or even after witnessing their wives give birth. Their wives, to them, no longer appear as sex objects, but rather maternal figures.

Another widely reported cause is the breakdown of fun or spontaneity in the relationship. For example, to men in long-term relationships sex will become routine or mechanical. Not an adventure as it once was, but simply as a means to an end. And so they seek that adventure, that adrenaline rush, with another woman (or women).

Yet another cause is more biology related...the need to conquer. Think ego. It's reported that many men will seek sex outside of a relationship simply to see if they can do it. To see if they can convince a woman they are attracted to...to sleep with them. It's the "notch in the belt" phenomenon that while frowned upon in America, is surprisingly widely accepted in many parts of the world.
http://www.infidelityfacts.com/why-men-cheat.html

Statistically, women don't cheat for the sake of sex. It's of secondary concern for them. The #1 reason why they cheat is for an emotional connection. And this is particularly true of women over the age of 30.

In more than a few instances, women won't even cheat physically. They will carry on emotional affairs...where they'll fall in love and experience emotional intimacy with a men, while never taking it to the physical level. It's these type of affairs that can continue on for years, without ever being detected, and often leaving a wake of destruction in their path.

Studies have found that in long-term relationships, women, whether they work outside of the house or not, often find themselves "shut out" emotionally. Over 70% of women are still the primary caregivers for their children while also being the cook and the maid...whether or not they have a full or part-time job. This leaves them precious little time for themselves to foster a woman's natural urge to grow emotionally. An urge typical ignored by men whose primary interest is physical contact.

Thus the longing for a man who can "see who they really are" begins. And in the weeks, months or even years that follow, they will usually find such a man - or think they've found one. An interesting point to takeaway of this female need for an "emotional bond" : affairs initiated by women generally last 3 times long than those initiated by men.
http://www.infidelityfacts.com/why-women-cheat.html

I also find it interesting that the Heliocentric Venus Nodes and Heliocentric Nodes are always in conjunction within 3 degrees

currently

Heliocentric Venus Nodes in 16'56 Gemini/Sagittarius
Heliocentric Uranus Nodes in 14'03 Gemini/Sagittarius

I wonder if that signifies that on a collective level, relationships,love is unstable and tends to end up in separations.....and that the ultimate lesson for love,relationships is learn to be detached,objective with the partner respecting each other's individuality.

Astrologers that use the tropical zodiac signs might see that the heliocentric Venus Nodes being placed in mutable signs are significant, showing how relationships,love involves much change,adapting and that many people are restless in relationships.

even the heliocentric nodes of Juno are in mutable signs

currently
heliocentric Juno Nodes are in 20'03 Virgo/Pisces

some astrologers might see that heliocentric North Juno Node in Virgo, perfection,being practical,and organized are important in a committed relationship

with South Juno Node in Pisces, lack of discrimination,not having any boundaries,and escapism can cause serious problems in a relationship. It could indicate the issue of co-dependent relationship. People being martyrs,victimized,taken advantage of in relationships.

another interesting thing is

the heliocentric Ceres Nodes

the Heliocentric Ceres Nodes are in 20'31 Gemini/Sagittarius

so the Heliocentric Juno Nodes and the Heliocentric Ceres Nodes are always square each other

it seems that nurturing,taking care of each other are very important in committed relationships. With the axis being square each other, they can conflict with one another. A lot of times, having children could put a lot of pressure on couples committed relationship. A lot of people don't like their partners acting like their parents. Many people do resent taking care of their partners in some way just like many people resent being taken care of by their partners. Many committed relationships are co-dependent. This might have to do with how many people want to be independent in relationships. The Heliocentric Uranus Nodes 3 degrees conjunct the Heliocentric Venus Nodes.

In mythology,

Aphrodite/Venus wasn't known for being monogamous and Hera/Juno was constantly being cheated on by Zeus/Jupiter which led to a very jealous nature as well as vengeful against her husband's love interests and their children.

Raymond

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"Nothing matters absolutely;
the truth is it only matters relatively"

posted January 22, 2010 01:29 PM            

quote:

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Taurus should get a medal babe.. Im very proud of them

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posted January 22, 2010 02:51 PM            

No fair! How come the nice guy gets to be paired with so-so sex, while the good sex guy doesn't get to be paired with being a so-so person but goes full douchebag?

posted January 22, 2010 03:11 PM            

on men

on women

Belgz, I agree with PDF!

PDF - I'm exactly like you, when it comes to knowing what I want to do lol

Jane -

quote:

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Sexual compatibility, in my experience, has correlated with personality compatibility.

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I've had the same experience. Venus trine Mars. I can't see sex as disconnected from someone's personality. Their personality plays out sexually.

Glaucus - props on the statistics and everything you said! I completely agree that society preaches exaggerated rules of conduct considering the species of animal we are categorized as biologically.
Other species behave differently - see swans. But we're not swans. We're part of the Hominidae (great apes family).

posted January 22, 2010 03:51 PM            

The heliocentric Venus Nodes are the intersection of the orbital paths of Venus and the Sun.

All heliocentric nodes of objects move up to 1 degree per century. They move as slow as fixed stars.

they are collective

heliocentric Venus Nodes are collective Venusian energies

which means that they have to do with love,relationships,value systems on a collective level. Collective goes beyond generational.

There is also a potential to do significant things that can affect masses of people. It's up to them to do that or not.

Significant world events tend to happen with Sun conjunct the heliocentric node of an object. Also people who are famous and important in some way.

Aspects that involve heliocentric Venus Nodes are more pronounced Venus aspects. They have to involve personal planets,points for them to be personal for the individual like my Uncle Dino has Venus in Virgo square heliocentric Venus Nodes.

astrologers that use houses might find the house placement of heliocentric nodes to be significant.

progressed personal planets to heliocentric nodes can be significant. Solar Arc planets,points to heliocentric nodes can be too.

Here is some information on heliocentric planetary nodes
http://mysite.verizon.net/bonniehill/pages.aux/astrology/tobey/tobey.14.html

Raymond

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"Nothing matters absolutely;
the truth is it only matters relatively"

posted January 22, 2010 03:56 PM            

quote:

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Sexual chemistry was great obviously...but he admitted to me, no matter how great the sex, it still gets boring eventually. Also his very young gf gave him no mental stimulation.

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The guy above and myself - work in the same area and have studied very similar things. Mental stimulation is a huge part of our relationship. Our Mercuries are exactly trine. We've been friends for 2 years now and never had sex. I find your comments closed-minded. You are not directly targeting age-differences, because you're simply discussing ONE example - but I do believe that you are insinuating *this* to be a pattern in general.

posted January 22, 2010 04:16 PM            

You're dead on!

My Uncle Dino was married to a woman 10 years older than him, and she was very immature. She had a lot of issues including being very needy. He left her,and he tried to commit suicide. She didn't have custody of her own son who she adopted.

He is now married to a woman that is 14 years younger than him. He is the stepfather her son and daughter. They have 2 sons together. So they are a couple with children. At 41 years old,his firstborn child was born.

Dino's wife was forced to grow up early, taking care of her younger siblings.

Raymond

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"Nothing matters absolutely;
the truth is it only matters relatively"

posted January 22, 2010 10:06 PM              

quote:

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but I do now believe that in a love relationship sex is really a physical demonstration of that and a neces sex dont have the binder.

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Hi, Thats exactly how i see it too. But it seems its hard to find balance between the 2 also. People who have had great sex seem to be lacking in the communication department because theyre concentrating on the physical side of the relationship and theres lack of communication.

Glaucus

quote:

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Therefore,it's easy for me to be celibate.

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I can most definitely abstain from sex for years if i wanted to but when im with someone and I like/love that somebody i need to physically demostrate that by having sex. I want to be as close to that person as i can and like someone else said earlier without sex it becomes just a friendship. There needs to be some kind of intimacy and passion which this guy in particular seems to be lacking. It is platonic. something neptune would do.

posted January 22, 2010 10:26 PM              

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Belgique how many times have you had intercourse with this guy now?

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Everyday the last 5 days! Last night we sat down and i had a talk with him. I asked him what makes him excited or what gets him angry etc.. He pretty much said nothing really.

EG: I said "what would you do if your wife cheated on you?" He responded saying "I would just leave her and walk away", I said "wouldnt you be angry? or show some kind of emotion?" he said "No"!

Ok i understand to some this is a great response but what im getting at here is that hes repressing his emotions and feelings way too much, he lacks in passion and spontaneity because of this. I was like well i wouldve definitely showed my husband how i felt about it, and i got out a pen and paper and said ok babe look at this...

Here is a smiley face ( I drew him one )

Here is a sad face

Here is an angry face

Here is a neutral face

When we show these emotions and facial expressions people can understand what we're feeling. How can you demonstrate a neutral face when something is making you angry? How do you expect the other person to know how you feel about a situation?

posted January 22, 2010 10:27 PM            

well no disrespect to anybody, but before your so quick to jump the gun...maybe you should realize your the one generalizing from one particular story I shared.

[I find your comments closed-minded. You are not directly targeting age-differences, because you're simply discussing ONE example - but I do believe that you are insinuating *this* to be a pattern in general.]

Well you cant really expect me to sit here all day and list out ALL the similar stories I know.

I never said people in general shared the same case as that director. I simply said in the FILM world (yes what I am actually experiencing, so have some right to comment on), many cases are like that with minor differences. That DIR happened to say HIS very young gf gave him no mental stimulation. It's not even about age...it's about whichever void one finds unfilled. It could be mental, sexual, monetarial...it's different for everyone. I for one dont have an issue with age, I've once briefly dated someone 25yrs older. He was a VP at Sony Pictures and you would think he'd be real serious. I was more serious than him, cuz he had a bit of "peter pan syndrome." I also know a famous hollywood actor, he told me his wife gave him no mental stimulation...not cuz she's a bimbo or anything. Since having kids, her mind was just so wrapped up around the kids, they just stopped to really "communicate." Whenever they did talk, it was about kids, life, and he found her boring. Also I never insinuated that everyone young is a bimbo...you only took it that way. People always told me I was a very responsible, old soul type, even when I was in Highschool. I also know plenty of bimbo 45 year olds in the industry who are still all about partying, drugs, getting laid. It's like how majority of marriages end in divorce nowadays, but doesnt mean one shouldnt get married...cuz one's marriage might not end in divorce.

Anyways I'm not going to further debate this...it's not even the point. I was simply sharing stories of what I know to be true...it doesnt need to be attacked by anyone. I am far from being "close-minded," or I wouldnt have gotten to where I am in life today. People here dont know of my trials & tribulations...but it doesnt matter.

Vapor, I'm not p*ssed or anything...still cool with you, but let's just get back to the point.

posted January 22, 2010 10:33 PM              

Glaucus

quote:

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In more than a few instances, women won't even cheat physically. They will carry on emotional affairs...where they'll fall in love and experience emotional intimacy with a men, while never taking it to the physical level. It's these type of affairs that can continue on for years, without ever being detected, and often leaving a wake of destruction in their path.

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posted January 22, 2010 10:49 PM              

quote:

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Their personality plays out sexually.

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Yes im starting to think this too now. It has to do with his personality. Otherwise my mars is in the same sign as his sun. Which should be a nice sexual aspect and so is the venus and mars sextile we have.

I went as far as asking him about his childhood LOL. Just like every other cancerian child he said he was shy when he was younger, then i mentioned how i grew out of being shy at about the age of 12 and he said he stayed that way but just gained a bit more confidence when he started doing martial arts. Obviously not enough confidence or stamina :P

posted January 22, 2010 11:00 PM            

As you all know, LORD of THE RINGS Trilogies combined, took at least a decade to make. Anyways by the time I grad and jumped on production, they were wrapping up LOTR & already working on King Kong. There's a daycare funded by production. A roomful of about 50-60 kids called, "LOTR-babies."

That's right...these kids were all born to people (men) working on set in the long decade of the LOTR making. Pretty much all of them illegitimate because if your a pregnant woman part of crew on set, your not even allowed to work on set after how months of being pregnant. One of my bestfriends is the lead of WETA. He's been there since Weta used to be a 6 people company, through it's Hercules, Xena, LOTR, King Kong, glory days to Avatar now. Few of his close buddies had LOTR-babies. Now when production wrapped, those kids really posed a huge problem. Their parents were from all over the world, and already had families of their own back in USA/Canada. Many wives/husbands of the crew members didnt even know they had illegitimate kids while filming in NZ.

posted January 22, 2010 11:18 PM              

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Anyways, ever wonder why High budget Hollywood movies cost THAT much more to make??...yes, paying for daycare is one of the many reasons.

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LOL now i know what were paying for :P

posted January 23, 2010 12:20 AM            

As I said, this particular story.. i.e. that the older person finds the younger person immature or not "mentally stimulating" or whatever else, seems very cliche.. It's very often what you hear as gossip regarding those relationships: that the people have a communication problem and are really together purely for the sex.

The wording you used: "A 50 year old with a hot 20 year old" *plus* "his very young gf gave him no mental stimulation" - made your story what I see as a typical prototype story that gets played over and over. You emphasized hot 20 year old.. and the words very young went with no mental stimulation.

It's good to hear you've had experiences that separate from this "typical" story-line, but your initial post didn't reflect that. It sounded like you were using this example as a "standard-model" story.

But now I understand you meant it to be a standard-model of people in general who lack a strong mental connection in their relationship.. rather than a standard-model of relationships where there is a considerable age-gap.

I tried to make sure my previous post sounded like an expression of opinion rather than passing judgment on you, but I guess I failed. Sorry! It's probably just because this is personal to me. I definitely didn't intend to call you a closed-minded person. There's a difference between someone who is a hairdresser for a day.. and someone who is a hairdresser full-time.. and I wasn't taking you to be a "full-time" closed-minded individual, purely based on that comment..

quote:

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Vapor, I'm not p*ssed or anything...still cool with you, but let's just get back to the point.

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posted January 23, 2010 12:27 AM              

Even though he's shy and insecure, this is too much, I mean if he liked you, really liked you and wanted to stay with you, he would have atleast tried to break out of his mold by now..

Im not trying to be rude or anything, Im just wondering..

posted January 23, 2010 12:27 AM            

Belgz - honestly if I was in your shoes - I wouldn't keep having sex with this guy. If you think he isn't right for you - it's just prolonging things and leading him on.

quote:

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His mars and venus is in the same sign as my ascendant too.

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posted January 23, 2010 12:41 AM            

quote:

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As you all know, LORD of THE RINGS Trilogies combined, took at least a decade to make. Anyways by the time I grad and jumped on production, they were wrapping up LOTR & already working on King Kong. There's a daycare funded by production. A roomful of about 50-60 kids called, "LOTR-babies."

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Lol Do you know what they did to keep this story under wraps?

I don't remember seeing it in the media.

Anyway - the chance of getting pregnant is always there if you fail to use protection properly. Isn't this just people being careless and using no protection?