posted October 15, 2010 07:13 AM         

I GAVE him the choice (*US* or not).. I haven't thrown him away like rubbish.. I gave my life and I expected the same back .. but his *dream* didn't fully allow it and as life is too short to 'continuously' torture yourself with this black hole in future...

posted October 19, 2010 08:02 AM         

We talked (me & Pisces).
I went to the clinic that evening.
Being home alone in the weekend turned out to be a disaster so he had to stay in hospital.
I never saw him that sober and clear, a very vulnerable side that I wasn't used to see.
I was overwhelmed with love and affection.
He said he cried after music therapy because of me/us.
Disillusionment because his parents turn away from him now he's there, no visit no call -> *I* am just one of the reasons/drops to them he said - I'm simply not the type (who likes) to visit (their) family birthday parties you know, and as the holy habit of authority must stay intact...

posted October 19, 2010 08:38 AM         

For me, just me, love means totally different things than before.

I have to care deeply for the person cuz I don't mind being alone.

IF the person is my "heart" person, I would not put rules on it like "we have to be serious " etc

If the person was my heart person( and that you have to decide) I would go with the flow.

I would not try to make it fit in any box.
A Pisces/Pisces type is less likely to fit in a box by his nature.

He is not "doing" it to be obstinate. He is a certain type of"creature"---very sensitive, very raw to stimuli.

If he is not that person who makes your heart sing above all others, I would just be a friend,if you could and help him through this.
I would let long range plans ,go.

The path of any relationship is so hard. It is heart wrenching but heart soaring, too.

I,only, want to do it with that special person.
Is he THAT to you???

posted October 19, 2010 01:31 PM         

I just mean ,"Is the relationship worth all the angst of a relationship?"

Most are not, for me.
If my heart is not really bonded to the person, I would not go to the trouble of a relationship.

That is what I was getting at.

If my heart was bonded to the person ,I would go through the barriers.

If not, I would just be a friend if that could be possible.

posted October 19, 2010 02:11 PM         

quote:

---

You know Ami..I really think that I will ALWAYS see something that will keep me from this go-with-the-flow thing..
I believe in REAL but not in the perfect guy I guess, or let's say; the perfect relationship..

---

I go back and forth with this... I look around, at certain people here talking about their relationships (I won't mention any names, because I wouldn't want to jinx any of them), and I know that it exists to a certain extent - they aren't free of problems, but the love is strong, and both seem to be committed to doing the right thing by the other, as well as themselves.

I've just been having another little tearful 'discussion' with the Universe/my guides, informing them of the fact that they could have thrown/dropped someone like that my way (not literally I just got an image of that in my head, that made me LOL), but they didn't. I've asked the Universe for huge signs when it comes to relationships, signposts as to what is the next right thing for me to do - anything to keep me heading in the right direction and keep me motivated, so that I wouldn't sink into these stupid depressions, that have grown over the past few years. (I'm not whining, tears are gone for now, I'm just talking/processing). I wish I'd gone to a therapist when I was a teenager (re: my issues with men, as well as my other anxiety issues), instead of being so wary, because I have a feeling that I could have met someone significant, and had things work out. I just remembered, after my little 'discussion' that at some point, I had the thought that if I ever got married, then it would be after the age of 35. I don't know if it was a real piece of intuition, or if it was just me being scared, doing my Moon/Venus +Uranus and enjoying my own company, looking at bad relationships, and thinking, "Whew! I'm glad that isn't me!"

My thoughts weren't wholly about relationships, though. It's more of a feeling stuck/life thing, and I know I'm not alone in that. I should be in a different thread for the rest of my thoughts, because I found myself wondering yesterday, if the "I should have said or done this or that" syndrome, is literally a memory of what could have been said or done differently, leading to a different outcome (I'm thinking past lives here - missions, important people, false threads that the supposedly all-loving god throws in our path to see what we choose to do). If I hadn't kept all of my pups, and only kept one or two, that I could get to a puppy class, would I have met someone there? I could at least have made some good friends.

posted October 19, 2010 08:19 PM         

He actually gave into me (yeah right, well somewhat)

I told him before if he's not going to talk to me straight out, then dont bother.. To stop beating around the bush...

The universe is back at work sending him/me to him... What ever... how ever it goes...

Well so then we started talking again, after about 3 weeks of no speaking to each other.. He started it by emailing me about a fund raiser.. So I replied back ok.. Ill check it out.. I left it at that.. So did he.. So then we started talking again.. We were on the phone the other night for a while..
He actually said we have a special bond, and he is really comfortable talking to me.. He said your alot like me.. U understand me.
So at least I got something.. He told me there is something I have been waiting to talk to u about... I said ok... He confided in me a personal problem he was having.. I gave him my opinion.. So it was a nice conversation...
Ever since then we have been back to joking around and playing with each other, making little jokes around people that only he and I understand...