posted October 29, 2010 01:48 PM         

I can relate to you.

How strange. How very, very strange that I feel like you understand. I think I'm beginning to decipher why though.

You said that one of the only people you've connected to on an emotive level was the first director who mentored you, and he suffered childhood turmoil as well.

I think this may be the key: Abuse. Suffering from the beginning of life. I think that everyone faces hardship, but that doesn't equate into "abuse." I think that it's done something to us. We're stunted. We're determined to never give someone the power to harm us again, so we're spectators of true life instead of players (hence the film connection, maybe?).

Because we don't let our feelings out, they've drilled deep, deep down into our bellies creating a seemingly endless well. Every emotion that i feel, but intellectualize goes into and accumulates in this place. When talking to another person it's easy for me to relate to them because somewhere along the line i've gone through something similar and have stripped it of it's quality and dumped it here. I can call upon it for reference, and give rational advice, which puts me in this psychiatrist role.

Yet it's so sincerely difficult for me to find someone who can relate to me because I think I may be looking for someone else who has a well. Or someone who at least is capable of great emotion, empathy, and maturity.

I feel strange thinking all of this. I feel like I've just met a part of myself, and we have nothing in common. We're not even able to muster up small talk. It feels like I now have enough knowledge to make a change, but I don't know where to begin, or even if I want to try.

posted October 29, 2010 02:20 PM         

So far, I've seduced and succeeded in winning them over. Unfortunately, I was wrong, and there has not been a miracle puzzle piece that makes me feel whole.

posted October 29, 2010 02:29 PM         

Meta, thank you, that makes me proud, LOL!

posted October 29, 2010 02:59 PM         

quote:

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But what actually happens, I think, is (and it comes naturally to scorpios, at least the ones I know), we get so engrossed in other people we "seduce" so to speak, and genuinely want to know all the little details and corners of their souls, their pluses and minuses,their strengths and weaknesses, that people start getting emotionally involved BECAUSE we make them feel so precious like they are the only ones in the world, there is nobody else for us except them.

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posted October 29, 2010 03:41 PM         

"The "connection" if you want to term it that, is completely false.
There's no one-on-one interaction, there's no connection between one open heart and another.
They're using information as a means to gain control and manipulate, if necessary.
Sad, really. And a waste of time."

How on earth did you manage to extract these conclusions out of my post?

posted October 29, 2010 04:32 PM         

But it doesn't always work.

I never made someone 'fall in love' with me

And I usually don't feel attracted to those who admit they love me..

posted October 29, 2010 05:18 PM         

Ah, I don't think I'd feel comfortable being quite as probing as that! It works for you because it's natural. Because I'm somewhat secretive myself (until I trust someone) I guess I'd feel a bit rude expecting someone else to tell me all when they barely know me, even though they might not mind doing it!

Is this the right Facebook group? http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=664628515#!/group.php?gid=185634623418 It only has 23 members but I couldn't find another.

posted October 29, 2010 05:29 PM         

Here is the link:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=185634623418#!/home.php?sk=group_168585839820 875&ap=1

I know that Americans get a bad wrap in England- well, throughout most of the world, really. But it's important to remember that these are stereotypes, and not everyone is defined by the misconceptions of their nationality. I am not a loud, fat, idiot, just like you are not a stuffy, cold, repressed snob.

posted October 29, 2010 05:34 PM         

quote:

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http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=185634623418#!/home.php?sk=group_168585839820875&ap=1

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I understand why you've said this.

posted October 29, 2010 05:36 PM         

quote:

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Additionally, when someone starts catalogging everything about another person, they sort of put that person in a box. A highly fixed individual may be alright with that, but for the more mutable types, it's stifling.

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posted October 29, 2010 05:40 PM         

Interesting how we're so alike, but we're different as well. You deal with your baggage by being light, and funny, and making jokes. I wonder if that's natural to you, or is it something you have to work at?

posted October 29, 2010 05:46 PM         

:edit: Meta you know - thinking about this.. I realised why I don't chase which is huge for me. It's actually not just laziness.

posted October 29, 2010 07:00 PM         

I've had to deal with being put in a box recently myself. I have a friend that is also a Capricorn with Gemini Rising, but he's got four planets in Aquarius. He started cataloging all my schedules and preferences, and it frankly freaked me out. I'm an 8th house Sun, so transformation is in the cards for me. I don't want to be attached to someone's expectations for how I should be according to who I have been. I like the freedom to do as I like.

I'm pretty open, but I don't really like the idea of people knowing everything about me from my own mouth. I'd rather have the opportunity to surprise people from time to time.

Really it just comes down to a desire on my part to do my own thing without people judging me (because I'm seeking to unfetter my own expression from external influences). If people don't have expectations, they won't be let down. That's pretty noncommittal of me (and very zen), but...

1. There are things and people I commit to gladly

2. I'm generally a fair and nice person

posted October 29, 2010 10:12 PM         

I think you understand how to connect with people, hence why it's connected to "seduction" on a superficial level. Your still trying to figure out how to connect with yourself...to fill that void, because you dont entirely understand the motives behind some of your actions. Many people arent bothered by it like you are and shrug it off. Which is probably why most people always fall into the trap of a, "rat race" of problems. We all know from books & gurus that "only you can fill that void by finding happiness within." However I realize that most people are never able to truly connect with that piece of fact. This is why many keep looking to others to fill their void (rat race), & keep falling back into series of bad relationships. I think your bothered by the fact you cant put that one piece of puzzle in place. Your getting there by trying to understand your own motives.

["You said that one of the only people you've connected to on an emotive level was the first director who mentored you, and he suffered childhood turmoil as well."]
--Like I said, it's not about me connecting to...cuz I'm able to connect to almost anyone. It's the fact HE was able to connect to me. He grew up during postwar & had a bunch of siblings. His parents were so poor they couldnt support them all & gave him away. He pretty much grew up under random foster care & was abused/bullied. Like me, he learnt early on he could rely on no one but himself to get out of crap situations. I respect him immensely because he lives by the motto, "never ever give up." Also whenever there's an earthquake/tsunami, he's one of the only ones to immediately use his celeb-power to put together charity functions/shows etc.

["I think this may be the key: Abuse. Suffering from the beginning of life. I think that everyone faces hardship, but that doesn't equate into "abuse."]
--Correct.
Everyone faces hardships OR abuse, but deals with it differently. You either deal with it optimistically or pessimistically. My friends often find me so serious & such a "realist," they find it depressing and mistake it to be from a place of pessimism. It's entirely untrue. I think I deal with problems from a place of optimism because I'm always looking for solutions & ACTION to get out of a bad situation. Pessimists to me are the ones who only mope & put 'talk' on unending replay instead of really trying to fix the problem. I'm not against talking out your feelings, but at some point everyone tires of hearing it right? It's like RE-writing a screenplay. If you've worked too much on it...you start to lose focus on what's actually good or bad. It doesnt get you anywhere.
As a child I was getting bullied & beat up at school all the time. Hearing other girls depressing/getting jealous over who's 'crowned' bestfriend & other petty problems was utterly ridiculous to me. Here I am, getting beat up...I dont think it gets more depressing than that. I think this is why I never had jealousy issues, because to me they're petty & meaningless compared to the big picture of things.

["I think that it's done something to us. We're stunted. We're determined to never give someone the power to harm us again, so we're spectators of true life instead of players."]
--Yes we all experience, "stunting," at some point or another. I was stunted as a child because I hadnt the means to get myself out of bad situations. My mom has lots of issues & a terrible temper...which she took out on my bros & I physically. As a child your survival depends entirely on your gaurdians & you cant just walk out as you can now....
Just because you were stunted at some point doesnt mean you cant fix it. So, NO I'm not stunted whatsoever now because I hold the power to change anything. Yes I "was," stunted as a child & until I was able to fly on my own.

["We're determined to never give someone the power to harm us again, so we're spectators of true life instead of players."]
--No, and it cant be further from the truth.
Like the DIR, I think I am truly a player of life because I always look for solutions & put it to ACTION. Most people dont have that ability so they go through life dealing with the SAME issues they had 20 years ago. My mom was severly neglected by my Grandma & suffered emotional abuse. My mom is 55yrs old now and still suffering & crying over the same spilt milk. She cant let it go OR learn to fix herself. Infact her issues caused all of MY issues when I was growing up. It's not fair for me, but what I CAN do is choose to live my life differently from her ways.
I say I'm a true player of life because I not only help myself, but I've helped many others either consciously or have inspired them. Most people cant even help themselves let alone know how to help others...or care to help others. The DIR is one of the only people I know who truly goes out of his way to help the needy. You know, he only keeps 20% of his earnings...

posted October 29, 2010 10:16 PM         

["I avoid people like this.
The "connection" if you want to term it that, is completely false.
There's no one-on-one interaction, there's no connection between one open heart and another.
They're using information as a means to gain control and manipulate, if necessary.
Sad, really. And a waste of time"]