posted June 24, 2011 08:19 AM            

Peace out.

posted June 24, 2011 08:40 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by pixelpixie:
I love that with my entire post, esheep, you chose to focus on the word 'desperation', which you took out of context,leaving everything else to pot.Just like you are focusing on the less important details of your situation, and making a man the focus, when you should direct that energy within.

Peace out.

---

Just sayin' Pixie
You got to put HER in a context which you do not have.
Her culture is not the mainstream culture of a free democracy, to put it simply.You live in Canada and within the larger culture of that Democratic system.That is a WHOLE different ballgame than someone who lives in a world within a world!
I think you are being culturally ignorant,with all due respect.

posted June 24, 2011 08:44 AM            

I know what is right and wrong and I know what it is I'm doing to myself. I also get good advice like yours which validates why I need to take the "right" course of action.

I just like being able to pull a blanket over my eyes, and think about him. It's a lot easier. I like talking about him as well.

Like you said, PP, direct my energy from within is a great way to look at it. It's just hard for me, since I've been avoiding myself from within. Give me time...

posted June 24, 2011 09:34 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Just sayin' Pixie
You got to put HER in a context which you do not have.
Her culture is not the mainstream culture of a free democracy, to put it simply.You live in Canada and within the larger culture of that Democratic system.That is a WHOLE different ballgame than someone who lives in a world within a world!
I think you are being culturally ignorant,with all due respect.

---

I am just curious as to how you would single out my post as being 'culturally ignorant'....

Here was my post

"As someone looking in from without, with what you've shared....my pride would have stopped me from all the expressions you are throwing on him. I think a few months from now, when you are removed from the situation emotionally, you may regret your behaviour.
I feel that you are using your being unsettled as an excuse, and i really feel that you are projecting on him. He is not your ideal. You may have shared some special moments, but trust what he says when he says he is not the one for you.
You need to thank him (in your mind- not necessarily TO him)for being there when you needed him, and respect him though you may, his opinion isn't the one which counts here. Yours is. YOUR future is what counts. I do not see him in it, so when you put all your erratic emotions upon him, you are driving a wedge there. I can feel this.
It is not your fault, it is simply how this works...because he has told you those very words. Trust him, as you say you do. Like a drug, you have to stop contacting him. if all you can think of to say seems weird and erratic to you, then stop yourself from sending it. This might be one of those instances where it is healthier to get it all out in a letter, and never ever send it.
Please look into the resources available to you as a respected and valuable member of society and the mother of three children who need you. There is plenty of time for men and even desperation later. Not now, and not with him."

posted June 24, 2011 04:00 PM            

quote:

---

He considers this as an addiciton. He wants me to not necessarily forget about him, but prioritize, and not put him on the top of the list. Isn't he great????!!!

He texted me this about an hour after my weird episode:

"Sometimes we have to make hard decisions and huge sacrifices and move along to focus on what is most important in life"

He meant to go back to the husband, and he wants me to give Jordan a chance...still, after I poured my heart out to him. I dont get it.

---

I'm sorry, but this is just because he wanted an affair, but nothing more - from what I can gather. I don't think he's great, if he's encouraging you to go back to a man who beats you.

posted June 24, 2011 04:39 PM            

Girlfriend. You have to let this guy go. He's not doing you any favors. I've followed all of your threads extremely closely out of curiosity and concern, and I support you, but you are being very love stoned over this guy right now and are only interpreting what you want. Who cares if he said nice things? He's not exactly doing much for you otherwise. I don't think he's a bad person inherently, but he is not benefiting this situation.

posted June 24, 2011 06:22 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by bunnies:
Well I must confess to never having heard of Maslows Theory...so I googled it....God bless the interweb and thank you Benedict Moon for pointing this out.
Very interesting...indeed.
I can see where I have been on this pyramid in most stages of my life.
Fascinating

---

Yeah, its an amazing chart (I should probably check out where I am).

Esheep if you're listening I would recommend you google "Maslow's Hierarchy of needs", it might make what everyone here is saying click.

posted June 25, 2011 08:31 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by esheep123:
benedict moon, i checked it out. at this point, I'm on the bottom rung. My parents can only do so much. I'm still living out of a suitcase.

---

It takes a lifetime to climb up that ladder.Most people NEVER do !

posted June 25, 2011 10:13 AM            

esheep, I'd like to reiterate that there has been a lot of good and useful advice given to you.

You want to increase your self esteem and be in a much happier place, it may be easier to see this as 'working up a ladder' of Maslows - take each rung as it comes. You say you are at the bottom. You must focus on this now. How can you achieve satisfaction in everything on the bottom rung? Once you have ticked all these off, move onto the next one. You may have ticked some on most of the rungs, but not all. Start working on ticking off everything on the bottom and work up, ticking all the items on each rung before you concentrate on the next one. Will husband or Scorpio help you achieve this? No. You have said this over and over again.

I think being an Aries sun you would work better with a goal in mind. Don't deviate from this and start working on yourself. Compartmentalise and work on one thing at a time, and take each day as it comes, with a particular goal in mind. You cannot gain strength overnight so changes won't be evident immediately, but one day you will look back and realise how far you have come.

But YOU are the only one who can truly do this within yourself and you need to find that strength. You have it. You have proven that as you had the initial strength to leave your husband. Search within yourself and find that strength again. If you need to find support during this time, definitely come on here and vent, or vent to your friends or family (if they are willing to be supportive and listen).

Also, as someone said earlier, your points your natal chart are lit up from eclipses and transits. Study these and figure out what is going on, try and use this as a guide to what may be influencing you at the moment while you work on looking after #1.

I have been there and it is so hard not to go back when you feel a strong pull or an 'it's just easier' at times of weakness. When you have a moment of weakness try and remind yourself WHY you left in the first place.

You are at a crossroad in life. It's one way or the other. Weigh up your risks and advantages. The problem with the unknown/untrodden path is that you aren't quite sure what your risks may be in the future. This in itself is a risk you need to take, but my gut feeling is that you need to take the untrodden path in your life. Do you get a better feeling when you think about your life free of your husband constantly abusing and putting you down? That is what you can have. You don't have to go back. Soemtimes the untrodden path can be difficult because of the unknown. But there can be great rewards and personal self-growth as well that come with this.

Think of these crossroads as transients in your life. Sometimes the crossroads are small decisions that won't affect a lot, but sometimes they are completely life-altering decisions. Pluto - the king of life-altering transitions and change - is coming up to your ASC and he is forcing you to look at life transformative decisions, for good or for worse. You need to make the right choice for you and your kids. And you know what that is deep down. Try and listen to your inner voice and forget about how others may be perceiving you. You will emerge a much stronger woman for this I assure you. You will have a lot to be proud of.

posted June 26, 2011 02:13 PM            

Love and acceptance of the person where the person is is what enables the person ultimately to change.
I am not whining about my mother anymore cuz a few precious people loved me.
Love covers a multitude of sins and is THE most powerful force in the Universe.

posted June 26, 2011 02:15 PM            

The advice I received has been great. I really have to work on myself.

being in my parents house has become toxic tho, to my healing. Becaue of Saturn, everyone in the house is having relationship issues. As I've said, two of my brothers are married, one a newly wed. They are constantly fighting with their wives about things that my parents deem more serious thn mine. And it's only because the easy answer for me is to go back to my husband and be patient with him.

No one seems to care. My mom is a neat freak, shes constantly yelling at me to clean up after my kids. It takes a toll. I don't want the attention and focus to be on me constantly, but I'm not getting any air time.

Just find an apartment, tells me my dad.

posted June 26, 2011 02:15 PM            

The advice I received has been great. I really have to work on myself.

being in my parents house has become toxic tho, to my healing. Becaue of Saturn, everyone in the house is having relationship issues. As I've said, two of my brothers are married, one a newly wed. They are constantly fighting with their wives about things that my parents deem more serious thn mine. And it's only because the easy answer for me is to go back to my husband and be patient with him.

No one seems to care. My mom is a neat freak, shes constantly yelling at me to clean up after my kids. It takes a toll. I don't want the attention and focus to be on me constantly, but I'm not getting any air time.

Just find an apartment, tells me my dad.