posted June 22, 2011 06:08 AM            

PS I will not argue about this .I made my statement,gave my reason and will not add more .

posted June 22, 2011 10:01 AM            

1. Do not start any romantic relationship with the Scorpio neighbor. He will not leave his wife. At best you'll just be a mistress. You deserve better than that. If you want to be his friend, then that's fine, but you need to treat him as you would a friend and not a lover.

2. I'd advise you to be very careful about trying to get back at your husband. Even if you manage to trick him into buying the house in Jordan, I'm not so sure you would get the house if he puts the house solely in his name.

Things can go horribly wrong, esheep. My aunt was almost murdered by her husband because she tried to pull a similar stunt. I'd say you get a good lawyer and ask for spousal and child support. You keep the current house and he can go to Jordan and keep whatever house or land he purchases there.

Trust me, you do not want to go into a long battle with your husband. Divorce him as quickly as possible. End it clean. Do not go back. Do not waste more time on your husband than necessary.

When your husband moves to Jordan, then move back into the house that you both once shared, or you can sell the house and find a different place to live if that house brings back too many horrible memories. It's time to take control over your life. Whatever you do, just don't move back in with your husband and do not get involved with your Scorpio neighbor. You will only attract more drama and problems into your life. Remember, it really is okay to stay single. You need to stay single for now anyway in order to heal from your abusive marriage and regain your confidence.

posted June 22, 2011 06:05 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Benedict Moon*:
I'm pretty high in water and I agree with everything MVM said. Sometimes you have to disregard 'hurting someone's feelings' and light the fire under them in order for them to change their ways, especially in a highly dangerous situation like this one. And honestly, I think what she said was mild to some of the other advice I've heard on this site in the past.

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Well BOTTOM LINE is to insure that Esheep can talk freely .
That is the main thing.I am sure you agree.

posted June 22, 2011 06:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Benedict Moon*:
And no one is stifling her, from what I've read. But when someone clearly about to walk off a bridge even after EVERYONE HAS TOLD THEM NOT TO would you play nice in order to 'save their feelings'? I wouldn't. Here, safety comes first...feelings are later.

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Well anyway---we may as well drop it. She can read all replies and take what suits her---Si Senorita

posted June 22, 2011 07:11 PM            

You have been given some really good advice here but it seems you don't want advice –you only want validation that MARRIED Scorpio is sending you signals.

Barely 4 days ago your son had surgery for a broken arm and you are peeved that your husband is not changing his plans for Jordan, yet your own focus is still on stalking your MARRIED Scorpio neighbor. Yes stalking! He ignores your texts and calls so you persist in contacting him where he then proceeds to tell you he loves his wife and wont leave her yet you then send him texts like ‘if you want me to leave you alone I will’. What utter BS.

Everyone around you (your words) is encouraging you to return to a violent environment. WTF!!!! Seriously what gives here, why would anyone encourage that let alone everyone. I don’t buy it myself, sounds like you are just laying the groundwork for the justification of WHY you go back to your husband because it looks like MARRIED Man has no interest in saddling up for this white horse fantasy role you've cast him for.

If you husband really is the pig that you portray and you truly no longer want to be married then take the necessary steps to end that marriage before destroying another woman’s marriage.

If my memory serves me correctly your Asc is 12°Cap and your husbands Venus is 10°-12° Cap. Pluto is coming to town, take the high road.

posted June 22, 2011 07:26 PM            

So this is not a case of her stalking him.

I'm not sure how you came to that conclusion.

posted June 22, 2011 07:33 PM            

But in her last post she was saying:

quote:

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Scorpio and I have been getting 'attached' (his words) on the phone, texting, I visited him the other day (with the kids, no hanky panky). And it feels really good to have this positive attention.
Its middle school stuff. I text him, he texts back. I'll write him a poem, he will thank me and 'appreciate my feelings.'

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And…

quote:

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At the end of our discussion, he ended the convo with "I love you." I told him that I loved him too.

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quote:

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I texted him that I could never forget about him. He texted back "please try" then I said, "I want to get close to you, as much as you allow me to." I meant it in relationship terms.
He took that sexually. He called me really quickly after that. He asked so many question. Stuff like, how far are you willing to go, and just let me know when type of stuff

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posted June 22, 2011 08:10 PM            

See ya, LL!

posted June 22, 2011 10:27 PM            

Firstly, I would like to say that I've known my Scorpio neighbor for over a year. If I was looking for a good time, it would have been said and done. there have been plenty of times where the two of us were completely alone in our respective apartments, and if I wanted to, I would have shown up at his door potroast in one hand, condom in the other. LOL. I am NOT ready to show anyone my mother-of-three body, let alone the guy who lived upstairs from me.

There was a connection, and unfortunately I think I took things wrong. I believed that he was in the same situation as I was. I believed that his Aquarius wife (and I know that I'm assuming here) was as detached as my Aquarius husband was. She seemed to never want to be home, even on her days off, and he seemed to be unhappy with her. I thought he and I could fulfill each other on an emotional level, and be there for each other. If I wanted sex, hell, I know he would have delivered.

The more I spoke to him, watched him, saw him interact with me and my kids, I believed he wanted what I wanted. Lately, after asking him quite bluntly why he doesn't talk about his and his wifes relationship, he told me that he loves her, is happy with her and supports her with her out-of-the-home endeavors.

I'm still nursing that wound. I didn't answer him last night, because I don't know how to tell him how stupid I feel about everything. I didn't realize that I was being ambiguous in my messages to him, that there was sexual connotations in the things I said. I really just was looking for a companion.

My husband is a horrible person. For those who feel I'm being sensitive, or unfair, I would just like to know that I have been mistreated for eight years. And I've taken it, because I had hope that he would change. I've been beaten with belt buckles, wire hangers, teapots, and even a digital clock radio. I've been called names, and dealt with day to day blows to the esteem. I'd get a grimace when I would try a new lipstick. I'd be called 'gorilla' when I'd get a new hairstyle. Hes wiped his boogers on me as a joke, and ultimately, I'm a shell of the person I was. I let him do it, and I took it.

I'm American born, but I hold traditional Middle Eastern values. So marriage doesn't end in divorce too often. It's easy to tell an American woman, "Leave him, he's no good. You'll find someone better." In my culture, no that doesn't happen.

If I were to leave my husband, and divorce him, my family has and will say "you have your children. What do you have to get married for" In other words, it would be looked down upon at my age, and after having children, to remarry for love. It would be seen as I'm a normal sexual person, and with divorcing your husband, it's unheard of.

Marriage is a safeguard in my culture. If an divorced woman were to say, chit chat with the ice cream man while buying her child a cone and someone were to see, rumors and scandal can come of it. That same woman, who's married, would not have this concern and issue.

It would be hard for me to get together with people of my culture and not feel ostracized.

So many women just grin and bare it. The treatment she receives from her husband is 'fate.'

A well treated woman has "A good destiny." A mistreated woman "has bad luck." But that's all it is. You endure. You hide it under the rug, and you hope that God comes around to reward you for your patience.

My Scorpio neighbor comes from the same culture, somewhat. He would never leave his wife, and she would be considered having a "good destiny" because he's a decent guy. I never thought he would leave her for me. I just wanted to keep that hope alive that he and I could make a relationship work behind our marriages.

It's hard to do. And I don't think he's on the same page as I am. Sex to me was months away, if a relationship took off. I really wanted to get to know him first.

Anyway, enough rambling. I wanted you all to know where I was coming from, and why I wanted to pursue something with this guy.

If it wasn't for the darn letter I wrote to him, admitting my feelings, he would have never pursued anything with me, calling me and involving himself in my drama, trying to fix things between me and my husband.

As far as my husband, I'm at a fork in the road. if I go back to him, which he is not making easy since we have no home to go back to, things will just revert to the old days and old ways. I'll be stuck in a dead marriage, and probably find another guy to wishfully think of.

The other path is to leave him, start from scratch, and be the subject of many rumors and sideways glances from people who are supposed to be on my team.

posted June 23, 2011 01:07 AM            

quote:

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The other path is to leave him, start from scratch, and be the subject of many rumors and sideways glances from people who are supposed to be on my team.

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I am positive that you should leave him. The way he has behaved is NOT ok and it is definitely NOT your fate to live with an abusive, nasty person (which I know - you know).

quote:

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I'm American born, but I hold traditional Middle Eastern values.

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No one in this life can force you to hold values, that are NOT your own. If you disagree you needn't "obey" such values.
You are a free person. You are free to do as you wish.

I am sure that as an American citizen who is a single mother, you would receive welfare.. plus childsupport from your husband.

You don't necessarily need your parents to help financially.

posted June 23, 2011 06:54 AM            

If I'm not mistaken, you're very well educated on top of having the benefit of living in a Western Country....you aren't stuck, and you don't need anyone, whether its your husband or the Scorpio. As for the social (cultural) circle? Screw them and find a new one if they won't even morally support you.

quote:

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EDIT: Hi, Benedict! It was worthwhile just to see you on here for a few minutes, I've missed you [/B]

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*WAVES* I'm glad you could be on here, even if only for 5 minutes! Hope Cali is treating you well.

posted June 23, 2011 07:51 AM            

I really don't know what to say about the cultural thing.That is beyond me.It really,really is.
Top THAT off with low self esteem and you have a MESS on your hands---a big,big one.

If I were you,I would pray and ask God to show you the way.
Miracles happen.I believe that very,very much.
When nothing on this earth works, a miracle can happen with a door that opens with which you can walk through

posted June 23, 2011 08:07 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by rajji:
I agree 100% - Prayer is the only answer for you esheep.
Go for it!I thought of adding about praying earnestly in my previous post..but somehow did'nt do it.

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Yes,glad you understand Raj.Prayer is real.The next dimension is real--not pie in the sky lol

posted June 23, 2011 08:20 AM            

I understand that divorcing your husband is at odds with your culture. I'm Catholic and divorce is simply not allowed. Personally, I think many couples choose divorce the moment things get tough instead of working out their issues. However, abuse is simply not acceptable. No one should stay in an abusive marriage.

Your friends and family may initially be angry or shocked at your divorcing your husband, but if they truly care about you, then they'll eventually get over it and be supportive. If they don't, then you at least know that they are not to be trusted and were really never on your side in the first place. You are going through a time where you must purge yourself of harmful relationships and start a new life. If your friends and family are willing to stick by you, then that's great! If not, then remove them from your life. Either way, you have to divorce your husband for the sake of yourself and your children. The abuse will only escalate if you stay with him.

posted June 23, 2011 09:32 PM            

Thank you for the prayers.

Today I had a semi-panic attack, and started texting my Scorpio gibberish. I'm sorry, forgive me, I'm sad and lonely. I will never have you, you can't be mine...

I surprised myself with the nonsense I spewed. He got scared. I asked him to call me, he didn't. But I called him, and as soon as he asked "How's everything?" it calmed me down completely. Weirdest **** ever.

He considers this as an addiciton. He wants me to not necessarily forget about him, but prioritize, and not put him on the top of the list. Isn't he great????!!!

He texted me this about an hour after my weird episode:

"Sometimes we have to make hard decisions and huge sacrifices and move along to focus on what is most important in life"

He meant to go back to the husband, and he wants me to give Jordan a chance...still, after I poured my heart out to him. I dont get it.

posted June 23, 2011 09:42 PM            

I had no idea you were coming from a traditional muslim culture. You are very strong. Any culture that says it's okay to mistreat someone like you've been mistreated, and that they should be prisoners to that abuse has something severely wrong with it. You're a human being who deserves to be loved and treated with equality.

Please don't take that the wrong way either. The man that I liked most whom my mother dated was from Iran, and the middle eastern passengers on my bus route were frequently my favorites because they were so polite. A favorite co-worker of mine was from Iran and would bring me some traditional food when I was on one of the busier bus routes (very sweet guy), and I have a soulmate from the middle east.

No one is ever limited to their cultural mindset or belief structure and no growth would occur if we presuppose the status quo.

I'll keep praying for you, that you can be in a loving supportive environment. I'm so sorry for your loses but I know you'll be better in the long run..

posted June 24, 2011 12:11 AM            

Also, sometimes when I'm on the phone with him, I could almost picture him. There was a point where we both stopped talking and had a long pause. I asked him "Are you smiling?" And he laughed and laughed, and said "how did you know?" I told him that "I could FEEL it."

Things like that make me feel that it's not just a case of grass is greener, or want what I can't have. Its not in my chart to have these kinds of thinking. With him, I feel like I KNOW.

I had these feelings really early, way before I loved him, way before we spoke to each other. We used to only say hello for the first six months of knowing each other, but somehow, I just KNEW what he was thinking. I was always ahead of his tests and knew the meaning behind the actions.

posted June 24, 2011 12:18 AM            

Yeah I thought I was crazy after I met one of them too and I was an atheist at the time and for the two years after I met him. Sometimes very painful lessons come with them.

posted June 24, 2011 08:00 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Betty Boop:
I think maybe you only read the first few posts..

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Nope, read the whole lot including previous posts such as:
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/208714.html
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/208387.html
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/208197.html
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/208156.html

and I see a lot of assumptions on what she thinks he’s feeling and knows what he’s thinking.

quote:

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When she did cut contact, he didn't want it to end.

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Is there another thread on this because on Page 1 she clearly states when she cut contact ‘he jumped on it and backed off cold turkey’ and proceeded to finish the post asking how he could back off so easily.

quote:

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You are making Scorpio guy sound like this cute lil angel husband.. like what in the world? LOL

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I didn't make Scorpio guy sound like that at all.
He may well be a scumbag who filled her head with false hopes until she left her husband, or perhaps he's the lowlife jerk who's only trying to get his d!ck wet or maybe he's a nice guy who became the focal point of an out control infatuation or could it be a heart wrenching case of star crossed lovers but as he is not participating in this thread we can only make our judgments based on esheep’s interpretation….and for me that comes with a pinch of salt. I, along with everyone else here don't know what the nature of their relationship was in reality.

Esheep, as I have posted in one of your previous threads your chart is very active right now, it’s being lit up light a pinball machine with transits, progressions and solar arcs and to compound this the past two solar eclipses have been conjunct your Asc axis and also the planet ruling your 4th house so there is a lot going on for you.

If my previous post offended you I apologise. Charging into situations ‘full of p!ss and bad manners’ is one of my less than desirable traits.