posted June 28, 2011 03:45 PM            

it could be other stuff going on in our charts but i always feel his feelings really easily, and our dates always follow this pattern: at FIRST he projects this confident but equally sweet air, but the initial cue to intimacy he takes from me (half consideration, half insecurity?) and then i feel him just absolutely melt into me (we also have sun cj moon exact in pisces in the composite) and our energies are as one, and the affection between us is wild. and when we slip out of that oneness feeling, always, he is just one milimeter behind me, gaguing my feelings. so this gives me the confidence to express and be more intimate and he seems to really WANT this as it allows him to do the same. not only is the physical aspect amazing and loving but we just have so much fun, too, and have these really profound talks. it's all really lovely and feels like we're this real unit. but then i always feel like i'm waiting for him to honour that somehow in words or make it clear (since i've written him many emails discussing my feelings and what seem to be his feelings) but he doesn't and that makes ME start to feel insecure, and then he sort of pulls back and acts mildly aloof. YET when i've pierced through that with confidence and have shown my feelings again, he will follow suit! but most of the time i'm unable to do that toward the end of our dates since because what he always projects is this masculine confidence, i've always assumed he'd speak to his feelings at some point, or take the lead. but maybe i've got that quite backwards.

another thing is that in the first three or four months we were together, he'd always dance around things and tell me he knew he was being confusing in this weird way and i couldn't tell if it was insecurity, a game, or what.

oh and yes, cappy, he was deeply hurt, in very similar ways to me (could be why we have venus chiron cj exact; there is great empathy between us in that area). i can see that that may be the case here, forsure..

posted June 28, 2011 03:58 PM            

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Originally posted by woah cakes:
if it is like a 'game' that they would try to arouse these feelings, might it be so that THEY can learn to feel them too?

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posted June 28, 2011 04:11 PM            

Threes get in trouble when they confuse true happiness, which depends on inner states, with the image of happiness that they so easily project. When Threes are out of touch with themselves, it is as if they had an inner checklist to determine the extent of their well being: good job – check, attractive spouse – check, beautiful children – check. Threes can sometimes manage to convince themselves that they are happy because they have achieved the external markers of happiness, such is their disconnect from their true selves. When this occurs, Threes ignore the inner promptings of their heart which tell them that something vital may well be missing. Beneath the façade, many Threes hide a sense of meaninglessness. They are prone to identity crises and are sometimes depressive, although they seldom allow this to show. The attainment of the image never quite satisfies, and the greater the disjunct between the Three's image and who they feel themselves to really be, the more likely the Three is to experience psychological disturbances of various kinds.

Traditionally, Threes are said to harbor the vice of “deceit.” This vice doesn’t necessarily refer to dishonesty in the conventional sense, and certainly many Threes are ethical in that sense of the term, although some, of course, do adopt lying as one means of furthering their ambitions. The central deception of the Three however, is that which the Three engages in by mistaking the image he or she projects, for the reality of an inner life, and for seducing others into making that same mistake.

posted June 28, 2011 04:22 PM            

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Originally posted by woah cakes:
well ami, here in lindaland people are discussing their personalities and beliefs in a very open way, so it is very different than the real world. also i doubt most of us would feel comfortable doing so without the anonymity of the internet.

i honestly don't know how to reply to you since every time you write me it has something to do with insulting me, or feeling insulted which i think is something you need to deal with personally because i think it is holding you back from experiencing the great connections you seem to be trying to forge, maybe a little too hard. i've been through hell with my own mother and suffered years of codependence so i know what it's like. i think you should take your power back, ami.

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I was not trying to insult you and so have no idea what you are talking about.
If you don't like me, that is your right,of course.

PS I don't fight so do not care to discuss this, further.

posted June 28, 2011 04:28 PM            

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Originally posted by sand:
It is not surprising then that Threes can sometimes find intimacy difficult. Their need to be validated for their image often hides a sense of shame and confusion about who they really are. The dilemma for Threes is that if they don't achieve their goals, they tend to devalue themselves as persons; if they do achieve success, Threes can begin to wonder whether they are truly loved for who they are, rather than for what they have achieved or how they appear. Threes tend to be large hearted, generous and likable, but they are often difficult to really know.

Threes get in trouble when they confuse true happiness, which depends on inner states, with the image of happiness that they so easily project. When Threes are out of touch with themselves, it is as if they had an inner checklist to determine the extent of their well being: good job – check, attractive spouse – check, beautiful children – check. Threes can sometimes manage to convince themselves that they are happy because they have achieved the external markers of happiness, such is their disconnect from their true selves. When this occurs, Threes ignore the inner promptings of their heart which tell them that something vital may well be missing. Beneath the façade, many Threes hide a sense of meaninglessness. They are prone to identity crises and are sometimes depressive, although they seldom allow this to show. The attainment of the image never quite satisfies, and the greater the disjunct between the Three's image and who they feel themselves to really be, the more likely the Three is to experience psychological disturbances of various kinds.

Traditionally, Threes are said to harbor the vice of “deceit.” This vice doesn’t necessarily refer to dishonesty in the conventional sense, and certainly many Threes are ethical in that sense of the term, although some, of course, do adopt lying as one means of furthering their ambitions. The central deception of the Three however, is that which the Three engages in by mistaking the image he or she projects, for the reality of an inner life, and for seducing others into making that same mistake.

There is an important sense in which the core fixation of enneatype Three is a part of the universal condition of all human beings, or at least of all who still identify with the ego rather than the essential self, with the images we project rather than the substantial beings we are meant to be or become - virtually all of us that is. The primary types of the Enneagram - Three, Six and Nine, are representative of core fixations at the heart of the human condition and are hence universal. It is the fate of enneatype Three to be forced to confront the question of the true nature of the self most directly and most intimately.

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Great description that shows also we all share enneatypes (1 to 9) in different proportions! For instance, we all have to deal at some point with image issues.

posted June 28, 2011 05:02 PM            

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Originally posted by cappy1277:
My whole remedy for my situation is not to say anything. Just roll with it. Enjoy each other's company and grow with the natual progression of everything. Of course that's easy for me since I'm a cap with gemini moon & venus aquarius- detachment works for me...lol. I feel like I could lose my mind if I tried to figure his angle.

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It is probably why he chose you (and you chose him)...
It’s great to be able to live the present moment, live and let live, without (or little) attachment. I would love to be able of that. And as you wrote well, you grow with each other at your own pace, in the flow of life.

posted June 28, 2011 05:03 PM            

cappy.. yes, rolling with it seems to work out best! i'm aqua sun/merc/mars with taurus moon (he's taurus sun/venus, late cappy moon, or possibly early aqua moon, but he really fits cappy). so i can do detachment too (usually). if i couldn't i would be a heap of goo at his feet by now.

posted June 28, 2011 05:12 PM            

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Originally posted by woah cakes:
so i can do detachment too (usually). if i couldn't i would be a heap of goo at his feet by now.

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posted July 10, 2011 04:34 PM            

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Originally posted by Lonake:
Funny, I just ended something last night with a Sun/Venus conj man. For the prime reason that he wanted to keep the peace at all times, refused to see his actions in a realistic light, and refused to probe beneath the surface of miscommunications that we were having. This is something I've encountered with other Sun/Venus conj men. I must have too much Pluto for them. I noticed another involved with a strongly Scorpionic lady and it was exactly the same, living on the surface. I haven't met this conjunction in Scorpio so can't comment, but with other signs I've earned the right to have my say. I guess the worst of it is that the Sun/Venus men I've known mostly had Pluto conj Asc or in the 1st, you'd think they'd be willing to delve deeper..

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Interesting

Where was this guy's Sun Lonake?

posted July 12, 2011 04:40 PM            

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Originally posted by abcd efg:
How do you think a guy with sun conj venus in 4th house in Gemini would be?

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According to Jean texier, Venus in H4 means that as a child, natives were conditioned by their parents to feel they were liked for their venusian qualities. Venus in H4 people seek to promote a typical family harmony in their sentimental and social relationships.
I think the conjunction to the Sun and Gemini greatly increases this tendency.

quote:

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Originally posted by DayandNight21:
"I do often find Sun-Venus conjunctions quite narcissistic or at least insatiable in their need for attention and admiration." Quote from skywriter wordpress under article on the o'neals.
I have had intimate dealings with 2 sun venus men and the charm is superficial, they both were childish narcissists. It didn't last long. Perhaps there are some nicer ones elsewhere.

I think they are very few on earth. Lol.
Cappy1277 was just lucky enough to get one of this last group

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Lonake:
samsaoule,
What is an easy way to find your enneatype number? Or some quick simple observations, etc?

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I actually made a training session about the enneagram a few years ago in my country and I answered a full questionnaire (from Riso and Hudson, I think) to get my enneatype, the “wings” and the proportion of other enneatypes in my personality. There is a famous website that gives you explanation about the enneagram and helps you find your own type:
http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/

I can tell you Enneagram is a very deep and useful tool to understand people, their drive, their strengths and weaknesses, and also various levels of achievements both psychological and spiritual (to be linked with the level of consciousness).

quote:

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Originally posted by Lonake:
Funny, I just ended something last night with a Sun/Venus conj man. For the prime reason that he wanted to keep the peace at all times, refused to see his actions in a realistic light, and refused to probe beneath the surface of miscommunications that we were having. This is something I've encountered with other Sun/Venus conj men. I must have too much Pluto for them. I noticed another involved with a strongly Scorpionic lady and it was exactly the same, living on the surface. I haven't met this conjunction in Scorpio so can't comment, but with other signs I've earned the right to have my say. I guess the worst of it is that the Sun/Venus men I've known mostly had Pluto conj Asc or in the 1st, you'd think they'd be willing to delve deeper..

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As for Sun-Venus men with a strong Pluto, I think it is easier to live identified to one’s Sun-Venus (at least initially), and it is easier to deal with this aspect in society in particular, rather than following the Pluto “way of life”...In this case, the depth is potentially here, it is just that it may appear to be too much pain and effort to go there…The easy way is often more attractive and one cannot judge them for that…
Anyway, I think we never really choose, it is one big of ego illusion, but it is another debate...we use whatever we are ready to use in our own chart, to the level of consciousness we have achieved.

quote:

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Originally posted by sand:
i'll look into those quick enneagram typing methods. i do know threes are competitive and image conscious. also most women are twos. read it from a book i have.

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Well, it is not what I was taught. There is no predominance of enneatype 2 in women. It is just that this part of them related to motherhood is linked to enneatype 2, but their basic personality type is any of the nine ones (the type on which their personality crystallized in childhood).

posted July 12, 2011 11:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by samsaoule:
There is a famous website that gives you explanation about the enneagram and helps you find your own type.

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quote:

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Originally posted by samsaoule:
it is just that it may appear to be too much pain and effort to go there…The easy way is often more attractive

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posted July 13, 2011 10:34 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by samsaoule:
quote:
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Originally posted by abcd efg:
How do you think a guy with sun conj venus in 4th house in Gemini would be?
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According to Jean texier, Venus in H4 means that as a child, natives were conditioned by their parents to feel they were liked for their venusian qualities. Venus in H4 people seek to promote a typical family harmony in their sentimental and social relationships.
I think the conjunction to the Sun and Gemini greatly increases this tendency.

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