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Author Topic:   If you've had a Mars/Pluto relationship..
Betty Boop
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posted July 28, 2011 08:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Betty Boop     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have a question for people who have experienced a harsh (conjunction, opposition or square) aspect between Mars and Pluto in synastry.
I'm more interested in those people who have had an actual/official relationship with the other... not just casual dating or flirting or whatever else. But you can answer either way...

Question is: Did the Pluto person at some point distance themselves from you, cutting all ties with you?

And.. if yes...
Did you manage to turn things around and convince them to come back or not? (Did you even want them back?)

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Lioness
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posted July 28, 2011 09:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lioness     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have this with Gem... My pluto opps his mars (he also has this in his natal)

First he lied to me.. I let him go, then he came back, I said no.. then I went to him, he said no... on and on for a year like that..

Then one day he called me to "tell" me he ran into an ex friend of mine the night before.. That he hooked up with her, but got ****** at her, bc she said things about me.. SO he "defended" me!! OMG... WTF!! really?????

SO then I did cut all ties with him.. I changed my number so he couldnt contact me anymore.

10 years later we reunited through FB...

He asked me why I changed my number.. So I told him.. He said OMG thats why??
He then admitted that he never hooked up with that girl, it was a lie to get me jealous..
I guess that lie didnt work out well for him at all... lol Because I was GONE!!

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fireopal
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posted July 28, 2011 09:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for fireopal     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I came out of a Mars Pluto relationship - I was the Pluto squaring His Mars. Yes I did 'try' to cut all ties on several occasions, but we keep magnetising back together again...but this aspect definitely plays out between us. It's still ongoing as in our connection has not ended nor resolved, I do feel we want to be with one another, but we are not 'together' at this time.

I cannot speak for the Mars here, but as the Pluto person, I definitely work privately to nurture the love I really do feel for him...as in thoughts and prayers and really value him as a soul.

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amowls**
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posted July 28, 2011 09:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for amowls**     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I was the Pluto person, his Venus squared my Pluto and his Mars opposed it. I cut all ties from him, I think he still pines for me maybe. I hope not. I don't want anything to do with him.

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VenusDiSirius
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posted July 29, 2011 02:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for VenusDiSirius     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Had conj,it was the pillar of our relationship; Yeap,that happened to me; I still have desires,but,when I cut sb off,I cut them off. Second time around just doesn't work. And,after a considerable contemplation,I just don't like that extra setf staircases Pluto person stands on,as if power veers away true intimacy.
But,boy,we had some mindblowing time...

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Betty Boop
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posted July 29, 2011 03:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Betty Boop     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks guys!


Lioness - That's a crazy story.. That's a whole decade.
It makes sense for Pluto though. Because they can truly amputate the other person. Was Gemini guy upset with you?


fireopal - Why do you feel like you need to cut ties? What is it about the relationship that is not working?


amowls - Same question! Why did you feel like you have to end it through and through? Some people stay friends or keep in touch.. and I know you're an Aquarius! So what made you feel like you have to completely cut him out?

VenusDiSirius - Were you the Mars person or the Pluto person?

quote:
I just don't like that extra setf staircases Pluto person stands on

Is it like they have too much power?

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VenusDiSirius
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posted July 29, 2011 03:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for VenusDiSirius     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I was Pluto,too much power,manipulation,I could sense I'd lead him anywhere I want. I'm Aries Mars,truely attractive people to me r my equal; I just didn't want to give myself opportunity to misuse anything. That power pit is very alluring,I could have fallen that easily... I need reciprocity,positive challenge; It's never good when sb pull all the moves.

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sassaqua
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posted July 29, 2011 03:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sassaqua     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have recently re connected - again - with an ex. His Pluto squares my Venus, My Pluto opposite his venus and mars.

It's been about 13 years since we were actually together, I met someone after, and he wanted me back for ages. Then, some time after my relationship going very bad, we reconnected again, me suggesting to pack up together and move to the country, but he wasn't keen. Several years later we catch up and we are both in relationships, me just beginning mine. We now have caught up again, going out for dinner 2 nights ago - it's been 2 years, we have just broken up again from our respective relationships (him about a year ago, me, 6 months).

It's always like no time has passed, and there is oodles of respect and caring.

We will be spending more time with eachother now.

I'm so glad to have him in my life

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Delilah
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posted July 29, 2011 03:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Delilah     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm not in a relationship with the person I have this with, but can I ask you Pluto people if you ever felt like the Mars person tried to make you rely on them? Like he's trying to force you to believe that he has the upper hand...in everything?

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cupcakes
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posted July 29, 2011 07:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for cupcakes     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I was never in a relationship but I was sleeping with the guy and I liked him. My Pluto opposite his Mars. Things got really weird between us and we work together so it was obviously. I got tired of him brushing me off and avoiding me so I cut off ties. I only greeted him to avoid being rude but I wouldn't utter a word to him. He picked up on it real quick and mentioned it to a coworker. The coworker knew what went on between us and how I felt and told him it was because I felt he was acting different towards me. That ended right then and there and we get along great now. Of course, there's still that tension in the air when we're around each other. It can't be helped.

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MsCandeh
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posted July 29, 2011 07:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MsCandeh     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes I did try to after he broke it off, I was Pluto he had a Mars/Venus conjunction opposing mine (0.34 Mars/Venus degree, 0.09 my Pluto degree). The trying to cut ties but magnetising back to each other seems to be how it is with us.

Every time I try to talk to him about boundaries (i.e. where do we stand with each other) he runs. Then I try to cut ties cos I am over the crap and then he weasels his way back in. Gah. 2 years ongoing cycle. I swore after the last time we spoke (2 weeks ago) it would be no longer unless something changes. I haven't contacted him since then.

We haven't had any real fights or anything as you would expect a Mars/Pluto relationship, there is nothing violent at all, if anything it is all passive with us.

In answer to your question, I did try to turn things around because I thought he was worth it (I can see who he is deep down) but he is screwed up
I keep forgiving again and again and he does the same things so I cut it off again because it hurts me (as much as I don't want to cut it off) but then he lures me back in, then treats me the same. I can't stand not knowing where I stand with someone and don't know how to stop the cycle other than cutting ties as I have tried everything else!

Oh and in answer to your other question, yes I did try to distance myself from him initially and he got VERY upset with that (I blocked him off facebook, MSN and stopped takling to him when I walked past him) but then I felt bad when he got upset. :/ So then by the time I was happy to talk things out with him, HE did that to me! (almost like punishing me in the same way). Not on msn but on facebook. I think I am still blocked to this day, even though when we speak on a close level, through email and msn and phone still. (though he wouldn't respond to my emails for a little while there or Msn but that has since changed).

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mir
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posted July 29, 2011 09:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mir     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My Pluto square his Mars.

Maybe on a superficial level it seemed HE had all the power. Why? Because *I* openly really fought till death to make it work between us, to keep us together.. and with that he was convinced that I would ALWAYS come back (is what he even said several times); he must have felt he had me in his pocket all this time. But I didn't play games because life is really too short for that and the worst thing I can imagine is that I would blame myself later in life for doing that, for playing with the one I love while I could have done it so differently. The thing he wasn't very aware of is that this fight-till-death thing makes on the other hand the cut-ties-till-death extremely close... it's like I just waited for the most devastating circumstances to completely break as it was the only way to REALLY run away without a way back. I had to FEEL the hurt with every fibre of my body to make that possible...

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MsCandeh
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posted July 29, 2011 09:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MsCandeh     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by mir:
My Pluto square his Mars.

Maybe on a superficial level it seemed HE had all the power. Why? Because *I* openly really fought till death to make it work between us, to keep us together.. and with that he was convinced that I would ALWAYS come back (is what he even said several times); he must have felt he had me in his pocket all this time. But I didn't play games because life is really too short for that and the worst thing I can imagine is that I would blame myself later in life for doing that, for playing with the one I love while I could have done it so differently. The thing he wasn't very aware of is that this fight-till-death thing makes on the other hand the cut-ties-till-death extremely close... it's like I just waited for the most devastating circumstances to completely break as it was the only way to REALLY run away without a way back. I had to FEEL the hurt with every fibre of my body to make that possible...


That's the point I am reaching with mine... you word it so well!

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Ami Anne
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posted July 29, 2011 09:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Fascinating thread
I was the Pluto.I don't know who left.It was a mess

This is my question.What if you have OTHER Pluto aspects like Moon/Pluto and Venus/Pluto also.
Can anyone say?

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fireopal
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posted July 29, 2011 09:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for fireopal     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Betty Boop - Initially he had completely dedicated himself to me and I felt so very loved by him, he was relentless in his attention towards me. I take a very long time to get to the place where I will open up, even though internally I already knew how I felt - I do not readily show it outwardly. I do not take relationships lightly at all, I'm very serious about them and completely dedicate and once I open up I'm loyal forever!! It takes me equally as long to select someone I feel 'fits' me and he does in many ways no other could or has done so in the past.

I cut the ties to begin with as when I began to show the more vulnerable, feminine, loving and softer expressions of my being towards him he began to distance himself. The first time I cut ties with him was because he stood me up and I waited for a long time for him and didn't hear from him for two days thereafter - he then told me some unbelievable story which was so unbelievable I actually believed it! The pain of not being with him was too much for both of us - he the Mars person got in touch v. soon after. That was the first time - my thinking at that time was 'he dealt the first blow' and that he would have ensured not to do that to me. With most people in the past it has been easy for me to just move on, but not so with him.

I needed to cut ties because there was a cycle which was replaying. We wanted to be with each other, we enjoyed each other, our communication is excellent etc. The cycle seemed to be that I felt kept in my place as if waiting for him (when we are together), he always leaves it a couple of days and then I see him and in those couple of days I always feel I'm never going to see him again as he doesn't talk it through with me or contact me in any way, I didn't feel reassured by him. Also he never went into his emotions at all, he kept a lot hidden internally and I need to really connect in with people on an emotional level, but yet he wanted to delve into my emotions and thoughts. So I felt he was closed off emotionally and from my side I then hid my more softer side again and became more 'chummy' with him and stubborn as if I were letting him no No-one will control me.

Like MsCandeh said I try to turn it around because I can see who he is deep down and I know I have some answers to share with him when he comes to a certain place inside himself. I also find it easy to forgive him over and over...as when I am away from him I really do sense his love strongly and 'know' that he loves me, I can see the real him beyond what he shares externally. I also feel that when I go away from him I have this deep feeling of responsibility towards him, like I cannot leave him back or down there, I have to go back to help him because I love him.

Delilah - Yes, I do feel that the Mars person wanted me to rely upon him. This I found I couldn't entirely do as I've come to rely upon myself over time and I'm naturally wary of leaning soley upon one person. I feel that if I remain relying upon myself then if the other goes away I will still be able to stand and not crumble to bits. In saying that, I would have loved to rely upon him, but perhaps I was waiting to see if I really could rely. He also lied later in the relationship whether he deliberately lied or if the lie was for real I am not certain of.

MsCandeh - I find it a little bit different than you experienced. My Pluto squared his Mars and it was me (Pluto) who did the running. Whenever I expressed the boundaries he (Mars) would not really address them in the depth I needed and he would keep those areas very surface.

I'd also agree that even though we have the square between us there has not been any violence or arguments in the slightest. Although there is stubborn power plays and both not giving in to one another. The violence did play out externally though - as in he would show me violent movies, we'd discuss darker issues and so on...so this did pop up. And yes - Although he never forced anything upon me, he did reaffirm by his actions that he was 'doing it his way'.

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fireopal
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posted July 29, 2011 09:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for fireopal     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Mir -- I also feel I will NEVER give up on him, whereas anyone else I wouldn't have even bothered.

Ami Anne - My Pluto squares His Mars
My Pluto trines His Moon
My Pluto conuncts His Venus
I haven't quite understood it all yet (that's why I'm here)...so I don't know how these all figure into the mix.

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fireopal
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posted July 29, 2011 10:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for fireopal     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
also...lol

My Pluto sextile His Saturn
My Pluto conjuncts His Pluto
My Pluto opposes His Lilith
His Pluto squares My Jupiter
His Pluto sextile My Neptune
His Pluto trine My Vesta

But this is besides the point lol. What do you feel about The sqare of Pluto and Mars also combining with the aspects to Venus and the Moon?

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Ami Anne
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posted July 29, 2011 10:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Fireopal
Do you want to put your chart up in Personal Readings addressed to me?
I will look.It will be easier than words

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MsCandeh
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posted July 29, 2011 10:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MsCandeh     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Fascinating thread
I was the Pluto.I don't know who left.It was a mess

This is my question.What if you have OTHER Pluto aspects like Moon/Pluto and Venus/Pluto also.
Can anyone say?


Mine with MrGem was his Venus/Mars conjunction opposing my Pluto. Our Moon/Pluto conjuncts by 7 deg if that counts. You know the story behind that one! :P

How in the hell do you cut ties. I think it has to be me (pluto). If to stop any game playing.

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MsCandeh
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posted July 29, 2011 10:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MsCandeh     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by fireopal:

MsCandeh - I find it a little bit different than you experienced. My Pluto squared his Mars and it was me (Pluto) who did the running. Whenever I expressed the boundaries he (Mars) would not really address them in the depth I needed and he would keep those areas very surface.

I'd also agree that even though we have the square between us there has not been any violence or arguments in the slightest. Although there is stubborn power plays and both not giving in to one another. The violence did play out externally though - as in he would show me violent movies, we'd discuss darker issues and so on...so this did pop up. And yes - Although he never forced anything upon me, he did reaffirm by his actions that he was 'doing it his way'.


hmmm I guess it is a bit different, but at the same time as your Mars guy does, my Mars guy will not address things to the depth I need them addressed (good ol Pluto). So I will try to cut ties and then the cycle starts again (he will give me a little bit more and then when we get to the nitty gritty/bit deeper he will change subject or just stop talking to me) so it's a cycle of cutting each other off. I am not the sort of person to WANT to cut him off, but it is the fact he does this to me that makes me so frustrated and I have tried talking in so many different approaches that I hit a point and go 'no more'. If I could figure out if we are friends, mroe than that (he alludes to both and then sometimes treats me like I am not a friend).

you mention stubborn power plays - I believe that is what I have described just now. It is totally ridiculous lol . I hate power plays. Neither one of us will let the other give in, it's like we keep each other there JUST in reach but not far enough. When he comes on to me a bit strong I back off and vice versa.

Hmm I guess we shared darker interests (movies etc) as well but I don't mind darker things anyway. He was more into violent movies than I was, I think I kept falling asleep through Saw movies and that kind of annoyed him (that I constantly slept through movies) but I think that was just his presence (I mean this in a good way, he is very entertaining but also I felt very comfortable aruond him, to the point as soon as I cuddled up to watch a movie I would be asleep on him lol). Though I don't share that darker part of me with someone unless they are into that as well. We opened up to each other about our darker issues pretty early on in the piece.

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fireopal
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posted July 29, 2011 10:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for fireopal     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ami Anne - Yes I will do that and thankyou! Two things though. Whenever I select under House System and change it to 'equal' it rejigs the houses e.g my merc, venus, mars are all in house 10 with all readings I have done, but when I change it to 'equal' @ astro.com it changes the placements to House 11. I'm new to this and don't fully comprehend yet.

Also..with the synastry chart...I don't know his Time of Birth...what do I input for him there? thanks again - and yes I'd love for you to look for me.

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fireopal
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posted July 29, 2011 11:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for fireopal     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
MsCandeh I can relate to what you say very well. There is a cycle of cutting off from one another and it seems he is the one who 'tests' whilst I can't be bothered with that and just want for both to trust. I also back off when he comes on strong and when I come on strong to him he witholds. So there are similarities there for sure.

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Taineberry
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posted July 29, 2011 11:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Taineberry     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My Mars/Uranus/Pluto conjuncts his Pluto/Sun. Power games are normal for us and I am not sure who has the upper hand.

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CancerRising
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posted July 29, 2011 11:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for CancerRising     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My Pluto and Vertex conjuncts his Mars/Pluto. Power games is the perfect way to describe it. Although anytime I end anything, not just this relationship, I go to extremes with cutting ties. I delete phone numbers, facebook, etc.

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Applegreen
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posted July 29, 2011 11:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Applegreen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have this aspect (My Mars square His Pluto) with someone I'm seeing right now. He has told me stories where he has completely cut past girlfriends out of his life just because he wanted them to hate him. He is a Scorp asc btw. Sounds like this is going to be a blast LOL

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