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posted December 31, 2011 01:58 AM            

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Hi,Woah Cake!

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it's not terrible but i'm having a hard time mentally remembering my revelation

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Oh,dear

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i can't explain, when i put my head on his shoulder and he rested his head against mine, it was more than enough. there is something so sober and unarticulably present about his emotions that i just love, even if he struggles to express them.:

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posted December 31, 2011 02:16 AM            

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heyhey!

yeah i think the reason it's so great to me is that i tend to feel this slight hesitance in him about intimacy (i mean this has been happening for over a year but it's only been a month that he decided to allow himself to acknowledge his feelings) and it always kind of worries me because i tend to take it as preemptive rejection, but then when i show him MY feelings it tends to help him relax enough to show me his right back. it's so nice i friggin love earth moons! so much can be said with a simple touch.

can i ask you a question? since his big declaration of feelings a month ago (though we've been seeing eachother over a year now minus a couple of months) he's been withheld again, the difference this time around being, though, that he is steady in allowing his feelings to show, understated as they are. well the reason is the aformentioned heavy stress he is going through. for instance, he will not text me back if i text him and i will call him the next day feeling half mad and he will tell me he is just so overwhelmed (owns his own business, single dad to two kids) but will tell me how glad he is i called and i can tell i make him relax and make him feel happy, so i do know he's not lying and therefore do not take it personally. HOWEVER my problem is that he told me a month ago very assuringly that he is going to show me his feelings and let himself be totally emotionally open and intimate with me and that he fought his feelings for me before because he thought he had to be strong, to not need anyone, etc. so the question: should i let him ride out his major stress (which could be infinate!) or should i make a big declaration of my own and somehow attempt (ahem) to *require* him to stand by what he said before in terms of action, etc??? the problem being, i think sometimes he confuses love with duty or burden and i don't want to contribute to that perception, so i almost wonder if i should just stop contacting him for a while since i'm the one who initiates most contact. he is very fixed and mutable like me and neither of us are big initiators.

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posted December 31, 2011 02:29 AM            

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There's a mention of cuddle again, I see!

WoahC,
You know that Saturn is gonna stay in the same basic spot for the next 9 mos or so, right?
Personally, I'd let him know that you're still around, still thinking of him, but stand up for your needs as well, but not in a way to cause him guilt. Something like, I've been thinking of doing XYZ together, just casually drop it in the air, and see if he catches. If his mind is elsewhere, he'll dismiss it, because he has enough on his plate, but if he's up for connection he'll take the hint. They also like to feel responsible for those they care for, so if there's something you need, let him know about it so that he can provide it for you (if it's not something horribly extravagant), just little touches, little favors. Capricorn appreciates the simple things, and being able to provide it for the loved ones, cos it makes em feel all important and stuff Duty-bound, and all that.

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posted December 31, 2011 02:37 AM            

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As I said before,be reliable and affectionate = showing that you care in small yet clear actions. With your affection you knock at the door of his insecurities,and every time you do something he is one,baby step,closer to you. Just imagine,a simple call that means so much. Just don't demand anything. Be steady,constant... The generous,wise woman.

I believe that every Cappy Moon man dreams of a lady that would pick him up when weakest. It is the relation where things are unspoken. It is hard,though 'I.can not.read.you.mind.' but intimacy gained in return is something...

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posted December 31, 2011 02:42 AM            

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^ Words of wisdom

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posted December 31, 2011 02:42 AM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by Lonake:
There's a mention of cuddle again, I see!

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You win
Behold the Astro Nations,Cappy Moon that cuddleth

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posted December 31, 2011 02:45 AM            

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^ Venus, have you dated a Capricorn Moon, and if so, did you survive? lol
Is Cappy 2 Cappy one of the worst Moon sign combos, is what I'm getting at?

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posted December 31, 2011 02:53 AM            

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Cappy Suns are my vice
But I am attracted to Cappy Moon,but didn't date. It is the Cancer I need to survive
Cappy Moon vs Cappy Moon... It is like Pride and Pride novel Put in there H3 Merc and we could have material for comedy
I think pride could prevail over love.

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posted December 31, 2011 03:01 AM            

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wow, that is reassuring, you two! that sounds exactly right. one thing: i am not much of a 'taker' and not much into 'things'. i'm trying to imagine what i could want from him in any sort of practical/helpful capacity but nothing is coming to mind. he helped me move twice in one month (long story) and i definitely saw that in tendency demonstrated there as he dropped everything to help me out and was so darling about it.

i just keep fighting this feeling in myself to offer HIM help and support because of how overwhelmed he is. i know, this transit is a doozy and i'm sure once he goes through it he will have learned new coping strategies. he is practically begging for help in so many words on the one hand, yet is impermeable to receiving it, i think, because of how responsible he feels he has to be ATALLTIMES so i have no idea what to do. i have offered help but he basically won't let me even though i feel he needs it and even wants it. this is tied into another fairly heavy aspect of our relationship, though, which is going to need to change. i should probably start my own thread or something, but he is afraid to tell his girls about me because he doesn't want to upset them; that is how stubbornly he is fixated on doing everything right even just on basic principle, or whatever. because when he got married 4 or so years ago briefly it upset them and he feels so guilty that he won't let himself do that again. although he says he tries to talk to them about it.. but overall seems very self sacrificing and i don't think it is healthy for him, nor them.

but yeah, that is great advice! he responds best when i am calm and supportive and even a bit emotionally 'authoritative' (in a gentle way) and he is always so glad when i make efforts with him. because of the thing with his daughters and how interconnected that is with our ability to be fully intimate as well as my ability to help him out (our kids are already friends and they like me; i'm acquaintances with his ex), i feel like it needs to be resolved and that maybe i should (gently) push him in that direction (i mean he brings it up all of the time but then basically talks himself out of it because he is so afraid to upset them), but again, i worry that would be perceived as *adding* to the burden, you know?

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posted December 31, 2011 03:42 AM            

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Oh,offering help to Cappy Moon is thin ice situation. They are the ones who drag the cart by themselves,they do not need help,at least that's what they believe. So,in order to offer some assistance to Cappy Moon you have to be backed up by them knowing that you offer help in no mal intention. They pride themselves to be very capable people and other often rely on them-rocks,so giving them helping hand is at the same time questioning their core disposition.
So,be careful with that.

I know what you mean by feeling you are adding him some more to the burden,but sense of/acting to duty and having responsibility is natural to them,Cappies. It isn't hard to them,essentially. I think you can show how much you appreciate his help. It is so sweet to them

Don't push. In any form.Earth Moons are very considerate,and being Cappy,he knows what needs to be done,when it needs to be done (Cappy being sensitive to good timing). Afterall,it is cardinal trait. I wouldn't be worried at all,or in doubt.

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posted December 31, 2011 03:47 AM            

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hmmmmmm.. you've given me a lot to think about!

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posted December 31, 2011 03:47 AM            

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hmmmmmm.. you've given me a lot to think about!

okay so, in terms of the help i wanted to provide, it was with child care because he receives no help from his ex anymore (she is mentally ill). but yeah he sorta didn't take me up on it so i let it go, and i know it is because of that other situation which i completely respect. he just has so much on his plate and talks about how stressed he is all of the time but maybe he just needs a vent.

it's tricky i guess because he wants to integrate me into his life more, yet we agreed to take it slowly which is best. it's just that there was a big crisis the other night due to them waking up and hearing me and he was so stressed out because on the one hand he can't get a minute to himself to relax and on the other i have to remain a secret. my heart goes completely out to him because he is so dedicated to doing right by them and is sacrificing so much and i want to help him *somehow*. i suppose, though, that i should just have faith in his timing and his pace. he IS very considerate but he also seems to be crying out for help which is why i am trying to ride the line of being supportive and being more proactive. i'm not a pushy person though so i wouldn't really want him to go beyond his comfort level. my patience with him has been exemplary. i just think he's a little insular, but again it occurs to me that trusting him even if he's struggling will be the best way to support him.

and, ha! i'm still trying to think about what sort of 'help' i could try to elicit. i'm really independent myself so i honestly have no idea. the only things that come to mind are along the lines of better (more) communication but then again i'm a gemini DC so i should probably work on curbing that anyhow!

i'm thinking now that i will tell him that i'm here for him and care for him and hope his burdens lighten and if i can do anything to help, i will. i just feel like he might perceive that as giving up on him since he is always SO GRATEFUL when i make efforts, because of how insular and unreachable he makes himself. he has always valued my persistence/patience and i hate to just do nothing.

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posted December 31, 2011 04:22 AM            

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yeah the main thing is i feel he wants me to shake the blues outta him and help him forget (and deal with) all his burdens, but that he is too burdened to seek it out, or he feels he must deprive himself. so i'm not really sure how to reconcile that because he IS an extremely competent person and i do sense that my trust in him is also essential, and that as such maybe i should hold back and just let him know i'm here. however i'm scared he'll just let himself lose touch again (that's sort of why we broke up the first time).

hmmmm gonna have to think about this some more. half of me just wants to tell him how much he means to me and that i love him (we have not said these words out loud but have referenced the love between us in emails) and cry with him and whatnot. after the crisis of the other night we had this big sad comforting hug and i couldn't stop crying (man that was weird but i am so empathic and felt badly cuz i'd woken them up) and he was so touched and so sweet and responsive, but i feel like he is so cautious that it naturally makes me more cautious and i don't want to exacerbate any of his problems!

kay so yeah i'm gonna think about all this. thanks again venus and lonake!!

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posted December 31, 2011 04:32 AM            

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Being patient and persistent isn't doing nothing!
You really don't have to do anything,in material sense,I think the only thing important is your sincere desire and dedication. That is golden ratio between accepting help and refusing it. He-so grateful for your consideration but it still doesn't jeopardise his ego(in good sense)-Cappy heaven. Knowing that you think of him is relieving the burden. You appreciate him (spiritually,like trust) he responds to that materially(usually by providing in many forms).

Big Earth Moon trait,we show we love you by takin care of you.

And,I suppose bit of secret romancing isn't so bad! It is exciting

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posted December 31, 2011 04:50 AM            

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heheh, yeah.. except he was lamenting that he can't go to sleep with me and wake up, and everything else a real and not-secret relationship would provide. i'm an earth moon too and the one night i fell alseep at his house, GOOD LORD was that bliss; the physical/sensual aspect between us is so devine that just sleeping all cuddled into eachother was heaven. my moon makes a grand trine (sort of, as it is opposite their midpoint though the trine orb is wide in his natal) with his virgo stellium. i suppose my earth moon is also why i want to be more care-taking myself. not to mention it is in my 4th. he really brings it out in me too! i'm not usually as comfy showing it with most as i am with him but he really appreciates that side of me and responds very protectively and like he is honoured.

yes indeed all your points are great.. they make me feel relieved. i'm glad to know that my basic presense is helpful enough and he does express his gratitude for the times i show i'm thinking of him.

what a cool bunch of weirdos (more or less) you guys are! and thank god. oh and you guys have the best senses of humour too. he's never ONCE not gotten one of my (very strange) jokes but he's so dry i always assume he has until he comes back with something even crazier that disproves that theory. it's the greatest

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posted December 31, 2011 04:56 AM            

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quote:

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yeah the main thing is i feel he wants me to shake the blues
outta him and help him forget (and deal with) all his
burdens, but that he is too burdened to seek it out, or he
feels he must deprive himself.

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Oh,there is the rub,my dear... Blues and aloofness are quintessentially Cappy It is the part of their charm They like their happiness with the tinge of blue. It is not like Neptune where wistfulness is a must,along with unreachable idol (That's how Neptune keeps the magic going) or like Pluto,dark and brooding,Saturn just knows better-Life isn't a fairytale.With portion of sweets there is portion of bitterness. It is the balance(that's why Saturn feels well in Libra),karma...
But,if you are to pin down one planet that is on the pursuit of happiness,it is certainly Saturn,and you will notice same traits in the sign it rules

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posted December 31, 2011 05:06 AM            

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well that is a huge relief after my last two exes. first the pisces who LITERALLY wanted me to chase him when we'd fight and said to me, the first time i did, 'oh thank god, i was beginning to think life was not a fairy tale' and that was just the start of that mess of a relationship. then my scorpio who would not budge from his very set mindset for a moment; quite the polar opposite of the pisces but also so stodgy in general that he couldn't see the beauty in the pain or the struggle..

see me and mr. cap moon were both severely abused as children in much the same ways eerily enough and so we have bonded and cried and hugged over this. we also have our saturns in opposition so it always feels there is a new lesson to uncover and it seems we are both grateful for the challenges we face together even if it is not easy, but there is something so lovely about it too. i can dig this aspect of saturn (mine cjs his virgo stellium and in fact is 1'26 degs each way from his pluto and uranus- the exact midpoint).. somehow we bring one another such relief and calm but then up-rises the sh!t again and we get to start it all over again. funny though, your description of saturn basically totally turned me on i'm going to consider that a good thing.

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posted December 31, 2011 05:23 AM            

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quote:

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what a cool bunch of weirdos (more or less) you guys are!
and thank god. oh and you guys have the best senses of
humour too.

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Hehehehe,thanks

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see me and mr. cap moon were both severely abused as
children in much the same ways eerily enough and so we
have bonded and cried and hugged over this.

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So true,nothing bonds greatly than same misfortune.

Do you have Venus/Satrun conj in synastry? Virgo stellium you say... We had here topic,who is the sweetest sign,we narrowed it down to Virgo and Pisces Virgo,crouching perfectionist,hidden sweety

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posted December 31, 2011 05:24 AM            

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dp

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posted December 31, 2011 05:31 AM            

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no, no venus-saturn (well, 6 degrees trine, my saturn to his venus, does that count?). we do however have a less than one degree venus chiron conjunction.

we do have venus trine venus and saturn opp saturn though, so that might lend a vaguely similar feeling? although i'm not totally sure what you're getting at..

yeah, oh virgos. i'm especially prone to them as this is also my NN and my 8th house!

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posted December 31, 2011 05:32 AM            

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fortunately my sag stellium is in his 8th so we're even!

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posted December 31, 2011 05:46 AM            

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I was thinking that you might have Venus/Saturn connections from the tone of your story..
Venus/Chiron aspect,that's interesting,Chiron person finds Venus person in order to learn to love,by overcoming pains from past.

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posted December 31, 2011 05:54 AM            

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yeah, i'm chiron. interestingly it does seem to go both ways.. i have to say i feel especially loving toward him, like it just sort of billows up with him naturally when we are together, but it is very calm and relaxed too.

his chiron is on my SN. what do you make of that, if anything?

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posted December 31, 2011 06:03 AM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by woah cakes:
yeah, i'm chiron. interestingly it does seem to go both ways.. i have to say i feel especially loving toward him, like it just sort of billows up with him naturally when we are together, but it is very calm and relaxed too.

his chiron is on my SN. what do you make of that, if anything?

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Just that it is karmic relationship. (As Virgo Merc I am opting to skip past lives references )

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posted December 31, 2011 06:07 AM            

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heheh. if you weren't, what would you say??

i'm not really into past lives at least as they're commonly spoken of either but i'm curious. would it be a wound he instigated, or that i did, for instance? chiron is confusing enough nevermind factoring in the south node in slippery pisces!

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