posted April 27, 2012 04:02 AM            

quote:

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why wud ur friends do that tho??

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That's a good question.
I think it's bad karma. My Venus is in the 11th (house of friends) and opposite Pluto (5th - romance)... so it plays out in these houses for me... It might be different to your opposition.

posted April 27, 2012 04:24 AM            

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Originally posted by Betty Boop:
I don't dislike a person based on whether they are loud or not. But if they are "loud" - (by loud I mean expressive and open about absolutely everything & also prone to gossip) - then I will never tell them anything significant about myself.
But the good thing about these people is that often, they love talking about themselves and since I'm more than happy to listen - they don't notice that I didn't mention anything about my life.

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posted April 27, 2012 06:15 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Betty Boop:
I don't dislike a person based on whether they are loud or not. But if they are "loud" - (by loud I mean expressive and open about absolutely everything & also prone to gossip) - then I will never tell them anything significant about myself.
But the good thing about these people is that often, they love talking about themselves and since I'm more than happy to listen - they don't notice that I didn't mention anything about my life.

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I'm the same way.

If someone is a big mouth, that tells me right away that I can't trust that person not to embarrass me, especially by revealing personal things.

On the other hand, the silent types are also not ones to whom I reveal a lot of things, not anymore. They can be the most manipulative. So, you always have to be careful who you trust.

And I agree about talkative people/people focused on themselves not noticing that I'm not saying much about me. While it's unnerving to be around such people, as they can humiliate you without notice and without caring about the damage that they do, as long as they don't have dirt on you, you're good. The risky part is if your family knows those people and tells them stuff about you, which is another good reason not to tell your family anything too personal: even if they don't use it to hurt you, the people that they tell CAN do that.

posted April 27, 2012 06:43 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Betty Boop:
sand -

That's a good question.
I think it's bad karma. My Venus is in the 11th (house of friends) and opposite Pluto (5th - romance)... so it plays out in these houses for me... It might be different to your opposition.

The reason - I'm calling it karma.. is that often, 90% of the time the people who hurt me had no clue as to what they were doing. So it was not premeditated. It just spiralled from one thing to the next (kind of like an LL online argument, only it was in real time and in MY relationship - with everyone involved).. It seems I have friends who cannot keep a secret... Maybe I'm just plagued by this or maybe all people are like this. I don't know. Either way - I'm not taking chances in the future.

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Not knowing what they were doing? I guess i could imagine some scenario like that. No not everyone is like that I believe. Just certain ppl.. But yeah best protect ur relationship as it has happened before.

Edit: a wait I do remember u saying anyone can be ur friend! Or something like that! That's y ur Internet tolerance smurf to me lol! I'm picky with mine even if subconsciously, h11 Virgo. I think I've met people that could even be intentionally like that but something just felt off and thankfully no lasting bonds were formed.

I do dislike partners easily swayed by friends but hey I guess the friends did like me at first in my situation.

Ugh mine is in the marriage house and the first. Both Square the leo moon in h10 hence my tabloid analogy.

To add.. I've been in 1 very public relationship with a Pisces. I think the secret language book got bits of it ryt in that it was a very socially/ or aesthetically (their wording) oriented relationship with not a lot of us time. That's one aspect of y I don't enjoy very outward focused relationships. Some can be barely intimate.

Nobody mentioned that forbidden stuff is also a huge turn on. at least it is to me. In fact it's probably the biggest turn on for me, MIS. It's either that or high difficulty level of checkmate, which can be the same thing. Yah I know I sound like a total douche lol!

Psyche in Aquarius? I remember that interp somewhat..

PSYCHE IN AQUARIUS: Like to put a little bubble around themselves and their lover and bask in the fulfillment of their hopes, wishes, and dreams. They like to be acknowledged for their unique and special qualities and do not like to compete for affection.

posted April 27, 2012 08:06 AM            

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Originally posted by ghanima81:
I think we're all agreeing that whatever anyone does is FINE. Live and let live, yeah?

Just wanted to point that out.

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posted April 27, 2012 08:13 AM            

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Originally posted by Faith:
I'm amazed that so many people here keep relationships private. It never even occurred to me to do that. Interesting!

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posted April 27, 2012 08:19 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by

As for the comment about telling people who you are dating for safety reasons: I don't date, so it's a moot point. However, it's something to think about, and a point worth consideration. I'd probably tell someone else rather than family where I was going and, if I could find a tough-looking guy friend to do it, have someone trusted follow me, discreetly. There are also basic safety things to do, such as never dating someone that you met online, get to know a person before ever dating him and her as opposed to hooking up with some stranger, being on guard and alert at all times, not drinking alcohol or doing drugs, always get your own (non-intoxicating) drinks and don't let them out of your sight, coasters that you can use to test for certain date rape drugs, don't go anywhere after dark/before sunrise, go somewhere VERY public, let the other person leave first so that you are not followed, meet there rather than going together, don't give the person your address, don't let the other person into your residence, have a cell phone with you to call for help but don't talk on it unless it's an emergency (talking on your phone means that you're not on guard and someone could take you by surprise if you're walking alone somewhere), carry something that you can use as a weapon that would not normally be considered a weapon (so that you won't have it taken away from you by security), etc. And, above all, pay attention to your feelings and intuition: if a red flag is raised even the slightest bit, do not ignore that. Better to be safe than sorry. [/B]

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posted April 27, 2012 11:44 AM            

Not saying all Scorpio Mercuries are such, but in my experience, we all have this tendency to a degree, just with varying levels. Since I've been hurt in the past I keep my guard up even more.

posted April 27, 2012 12:31 PM            

I don't have a "realationship status" posted on FB and never have, although I have been in both a serious relationship and dated two people since joining FB in 2007. I keep all my pictures private, and don't post anything on my bf's wall, nor does he on mine unless it's the occasional "like".

It ran through my mind because last year, when I dated somebody for about 3 months, who claimed to "love" me, he never put me as his gf nor listed himself as "in a relationship" on his fb, although I did meet his mother, father, sister and kids. No friends, and we NEVER went anywhere together. Since we broke up, he has listed three different women as "in a relationship with" and posted copious pictures with them. It makes me wonder either WTH is wrong with him that he could speak of love without meaning it, WTH was wrong with me that he couldn't put it out there to the "world" of fb friends that he was with me, or WTH do I even care now? LOL It kinda made me laugh to think about.

My current BF and I have met each others' kids, families, and some friends, (both of our closest friends live nowhere near where we currently live) and he put his status as "in a relationship" on his fb. I still haven't, with no offense to him, and neither of us really care about any of that one way or another.

posted April 27, 2012 12:47 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ghanima81:
It makes me wonder either WTH is wrong with him that he could speak of love without meaning it...

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My greatest fear. Some people are in love with love a little too much.

posted April 27, 2012 02:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Rosalind:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Faith:
[b] I'm amazed that so many people here keep relationships private. It never even occurred to me to do that. Interesting!

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[/B][/QUOTE]

some people liked that movie..

posted April 27, 2012 05:18 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:

As for the comment about telling people who you are dating for safety reasons: I don't date, so it's a moot point. However, it's something to think about, and a point worth consideration. I'd probably tell someone else rather than family where I was going and, if I could find a tough-looking guy friend to do it, have someone trusted follow me, discreetly. There are also basic safety things to do, such as never dating someone that you met online, get to know a person before ever dating him and her as opposed to hooking up with some stranger, being on guard and alert at all times, not drinking alcohol or doing drugs, always get your own (non-intoxicating) drinks and don't let them out of your sight, coasters that you can use to test for certain date rape drugs, don't go anywhere after dark/before sunrise, go somewhere VERY public, let the other person leave first so that you are not followed, meet there rather than going together, don't give the person your address, don't let the other person into your residence, have a cell phone with you to call for help but don't talk on it unless it's an emergency (talking on your phone means that you're not on guard and someone could take you by surprise if you're walking alone somewhere), carry something that you can use as a weapon that would not normally be considered a weapon (so that you won't have it taken away from you by security), etc. And, above all, pay attention to your feelings and intuition: if a red flag is raised even the slightest bit, do not ignore that. Better to be safe than sorry.

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I agree with all this. If you practice it won't come off as a weird. You don't have to have beady eyes and look left and right like the other poster made it out to be calling someone a whack job. Jeez lol. I mean, this stuff does work to protect you. I don't give an elephants behind what that a stranger would not like me to be cautious.

Also, if you meet someone online, it's a good idea NOT to start with your real first name unless it's generic. I did that once and the dude found my address and stuff...very creepy. It's all public info though.

RegardesPlatero I agree with all of what this poster mentioned. It's very easy and practical to be safe. It does not look silly or weird if you do it right.

posted April 27, 2012 07:13 PM            

Uranus rules my H12, which is in my H7. So maybe thats a part of it..

posted April 27, 2012 10:19 PM            

It sounds like a lot of people on this site swing to one extreme or the other.

Personally, I like a balance of privacy (not secrecy- to me that implies hiding a partner) and being open. No, I'm probably not going to share sexual preferences/tastes, or when we have 'moments' together, etc. but if I'm involved with someone, I will share that. I might casually mention that I'm dating someone, give very vague details, and leave it at that.

Ultimately though, if I'm truly 'involved' with someone, they are going to have to be a part of my life at some point, and that does mean that I will have to introduce them to the REST of my life- which includes my friends and my family... And yes, everyone involved will have opinions. However, I think it's important to distinguish between what is a truly relevant opinion (hey- I saw that guy dealing drugs- you might want to watch yourself) and what is just an opinion (hey- he has a funny tie on, don't you think that tie is just dreadful?).

However, I have not had the experience of having to disown some of my friends or family as it sounds like some of you had. That is unfortunate, and I'm sure I might feel the same way as many of you do if I had those experiences.

Truth is though... I have had an experience with a friend that was ultimately unfair because she did share her opinion to a guy I was dating. I could have blamed the entire mess on her, but instead I realized that what she did simply facilitated an already present breaking point within the relationship.

This girl herself had dated ex-cons (several- one of whom I found out later had dealt drugs from her apartment). Though I never approved of these guys, I ALWAYS kept my mouth shut except to tell her to watch her back. Until she started dating another guy. This guy was NOT an ex-con. He had a good job, a degree, etc... But when the three of us were out together at a bar he groped me without my permission or consent. I did tell my friend the exact truth about what happened immediately after it happened.

And I lost my friend... Or rather, I had to remove myself from my friend's presence for almost a year, because I will NOT compromise my own safety if she is not bright enough to do the same. She considered that what I did (which was TELL THE TRUTH) as meddling in her relationship. If it were ME, I'd want to know that my boyfriend was groping my best friend without her consent. We are friends again, but only because I am forgiving and she finally broke up with the guy (and he moved to another state).

posted January 29, 2021 06:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ghanima81:
I think we're all agreeing that whatever anyone does is FINE. Live and let live, yeah?

Just wanted to point that out.

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posted January 31, 2021 09:18 PM            

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Originally posted by inthemisosoup:
I just want to add, besides all of these aspects I mentioned earlier, I think my Scorpio Mercury plays a part here, too. I keep hidden what leaves me vulnerable. I don't like people to see or know much about my vulnerabilities. I don't often talk about my weaknesses, except with the very few I am extremely close to. For that reason, it takes a lot of time for me to trust my SO enough until I let the him meet a lot of friends or family.

Not saying all Scorpio Mercuries are such, but in my experience, we all have this tendency to a degree, just with varying levels. Since I've been hurt in the past I keep my guard up even more.

I wish I could be more carefree like some of you seem to be, but that just isn't who I am.

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I could be with somebody seriously for a while, and nobody would know. I think even my friends and family have misconceptions about my personal life, often I don’t feel like explaining. I might not know myself for sure. When it gets out, it might ruin the vibes. Scorpio Mercury.

posted January 31, 2021 09:46 PM            

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