posted April 26, 2012 07:59 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sashar:
Don't ask me what they are but there are synastry aspects that might make you want to keep a relationship with a specific person secret, even when there isn't really a justifiable reason for it.

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posted April 26, 2012 08:29 AM            

My family didn't know my wife until after the fact. They didn't know I was engaged to be married nor did they know my marriage date.

They objected to the marriage, and my middle finger was firmly stuck out in their faces. Foxtrot Yankee.

Same story for my wife. In fact, my family didn't meet my wife until three years after we were married and had our first son.

You think they met any of my ex-girlfriends? None of their damn business.

Venus and Saturn in 12th House in Aquarius.

posted April 26, 2012 09:11 AM            

e:I just noticed that I also keep most of my friendships a secret..

ee: Sorry I hit the quote button instead of edit

posted April 26, 2012 10:03 AM            

I have a 12th house Venus-Pluto conjunction. I don't believe in that "open book, no boundaries" stuff. No way.

It would be awkward to tell family that you're dating. They'd make stupid jokes or get into your business or tell you what to do. I've had extended family make stupid comments to me just because I'm of dating and marrying age--like I'm going to go out and do something dumb. It's annoying. Other people that I know also ask embarrassing, rude, and inappropriate questions that are none of their business when someone they know is dating someone.

It's really no one's business who you date unless there's something wrong, like if someone is being abused or if someone is dating someone who needs an intervention, something major where someone could come to serious harm if no one does anything. In that case, yes, someone would, in my opinion, have the right to interfere.

I don't understand why people DO get involved--without good reason--in the love lives of their families. I don't understand people who ask nosy questions about this stuff or who want to go meet a boyfriend/girlfriend right away, when the relationship isn't an engagement or marriage. Even if people are married or engaged, family still does NOT have the right to get involved without a serious reason, like the ones that I mentioned above.

A relationship is between two people, not two people + their immediate family + extended family + friends. I don't mean that people in a relationship can't or shouldn't be close to their family and friends, just that family and friends need to know their place in the context of a relationship (i.e., outside of it) and respect those boundaries. Only in very serious cases should a person intervene or interfere.

posted April 26, 2012 10:04 AM            

LMAO. That's fantastic about your Venus. I've met the same type of person with that placement. I could have SWORN they had Venus in Leo, or some other such firey sign, but you just never know how other aspects will play off each other. Uranian influence can never really be pinned down or put under a category though, can it?

posted April 26, 2012 10:42 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
I would DEFINITELY keep a relationship a secret, unless I was engaged and then getting married.

I have a 12th house Venus-Pluto conjunction. I don't believe in that "open book, no boundaries" stuff. No way.

It would be awkward to tell family that you're dating. They'd make stupid jokes or get into your business or tell you what to do. I've had extended family make stupid comments to me just because I'm of dating and marrying age--like I'm going to go out and do something dumb. It's annoying. Other people that I know also ask embarrassing, rude, and inappropriate questions that are none of their business when someone they know is dating someone.

It's really no one's business who you date unless there's something wrong, like if someone is being abused or if someone is dating someone who needs an intervention, something major where someone could come to serious harm if no one does anything. In that case, yes, someone would, in my opinion, have the right to interfere.

I don't understand why people DO get involved--without good reason--in the love lives of their families. I don't understand people who ask nosy questions about this stuff or who want to go meet a boyfriend/girlfriend right away, when the relationship isn't an engagement or marriage. Even if people are married or engaged, family still does NOT have the right to get involved without a serious reason, like the ones that I mentioned above.

A relationship is between two people, not two people + their immediate family + extended family + friends. I don't mean that people in a relationship can't or shouldn't be close to their family and friends, just that family and friends need to know their place in the context of a relationship (i.e., outside of it) and respect those boundaries. Only in very serious cases should a person intervene or interfere.

Now, that said, people who know about the boyfriend/girlfriend can certainly have an opinion about the relationship, but family does not get to make relationship decisions for a couple if they are legally adults.

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posted April 26, 2012 11:23 AM            

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And hypothetically, if you're dating someone for 2 years, isn't it weird that they've never met your parents even ifyou're not engaged? If my boyfriend did that, I'd feel like I'm not important enough to him.

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I agree. I find it a red flag personally. If there are circumstances such that would make it a negative to meet the family, fair enough. But having been through the type of relationship where I wasn't introduced for about a year, and once I was, it was as a total shock to the parents that my ex even had been serious about ONE girl, I wouldn't put up with it again. I can see both sides of the coin, but for me PERSONALLY, I don't like that idea.

posted April 26, 2012 11:25 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ghanima81:
YTA,

LMAO. That's fantastic about your Venus. I've met the same type of person with that placement. I could have SWORN they had Venus in Leo, or some other such firey sign, but you just never know how other aspects will play off each other. Uranian influence can never really be pinned down or put under a category though, can it?

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Hahaha... well, my natal Uranus is in the 7th House in Virgo, where my wife has her Venus, Mercury, Jupiter, Pluto and Uranus. Furthermore, my Uranus 7th House is ruled by Mercury in the 11th House in my Sun sign of Capricorn. I suppose that would make me rather hardcore Capricorn, over-ruling the Venus in Aquarius, noting that Saturn also sits in the same 12th House and Saturn is the ruler of Capricorn.

Anyway, given my family history and a lousy friendship history, nothing good can come out of sharing information about marrriage.

I told my parents that I'm not coming to you for damn permission. I'm telling you as a courtesy, and beyond that, you will have zero input. Thank you very much. And if you don't like it... Foxtrot Yankee and Kilo Mike Alpha.

Jon Bon Jovi wrote a song called "It's My Life."

posted April 26, 2012 11:57 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I personally don't believe that secrecy is manifested only in the 12th House. Surely that there are far more aspects that govern privacy than the 12th House. Keeping information tightly controlled is just plain common sense.

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posted April 26, 2012 12:01 PM            

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Originally posted by amowls**:
If your family wasn't rude or disapproving, you'd tell them, though. That doesn't really have much to do with your natal chart, save for maybe Saturn aspects to your Moon/Sun or maybe your 4th house (you feel restricted by your family in the choices you make).

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Yes. Tell, as a courtesy. I don't expect them to do a CIA investigation of my girlfriend's extended family and complete ancestral heritage. Where her great great grandparents come from is so damn important? Guess what, dad, I married a Caucasian. Take that.