posted December 21, 2012 08:46 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by JLyn ~:
I'm not here to judge the people who choose to have open relationships...

But have fun!
and try to remember HIV and hepB doesnt have a smell or a taste

---

Ugh. That last bit about having fun & STDs seems a little negative to me.

You say you don't want to judge but then almost instantly make a comment about STDs.

It comes across like you are implying that people in open relationships are more likely to get STDs. Or more likely to be swingers (we weren't). Or more likely to have one night flings with multiple partners (we didn't).

To recap...

* Open relationship does not always = polyamory
* Polyamory does not always = swinging
* Swinging does not always = reckless
* Monogamous does not always = faithful
* Any one can get STDs if there is sex involved.
* Any man/woman can betray you or lie to you.

For me, it's just as disappointing as any other blanket statement about any other group (gays/lesbians, etc.).

It can work for people, I have lived it, and I have friends who continue to live it.

As far as *this* thread is concerned, I don't know if I can be more helpful or explain it any better. I offered an alternative point of view (a positive experience) but the subject seems to be taboo.

Not much more I can say. I am glad it has been discussed here though.

posted December 21, 2012 10:50 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Geeky:
Ugh. That last bit about having fun & STDs seems a little negative to me.

You say you don't want to judge but then almost instantly make a comment about STDs.

---

It's an interesting comment too, considering that plenty of people give/receive STDs while in so called 'monogamus' relationships.

STDs are transmitted via sex, period. Anyone who is getting laid and not using protection stands a chance of getting em. Whether they're in an exclusive relationship, or not. Those disease don't discriminate and go, "Oh well, gee - I won't infect this person cuz they only date each other", come on now, that's asinine.

Honestly Geeky, I think you're being incredibly patient here - probably more than you should be - with some of the responses you've been getting. It takes alot to stay calm when someone tells you in a heavy-handed, condescending tone that you need to watch a movie about something you actually know and have experienced firsthand, or people immediately alluding to sexually transmitted diseases.

I think people are forgetting that values differ from person to person, and that just because you wouldn't do something, doesn't really mean that everyone else has to fall in line behind you and do what you do, or needs a lecture or judgment. As long as everybody involved is a consenting adult, worry about what you do with your private parts and stop trying to dictate to other people what they can do with their own hearts, lives and bodies.

The last few posts just p*ssed me off; and not because I've been in an 'open relationship'; I haven't. But if you think about it, it could be argued that these types of relationships are a way more dignified, honest, mature and safe way to handle things than the way most people do - which is coupling up with someone and then going out and cheating, or the single folks going to the club and then jumping from bed to bed...

posted December 21, 2012 11:00 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Geeky:
Ugh. That last bit about having fun & STDs seems a little negative to me.

You say you don't want to judge but then almost instantly make a comment about STDs.

It comes across like you are implying that people in open relationships are more likely to get STDs. Or more likely to be swingers (we weren't). Or more likely to have one night flings with multiple partners (we didn't).

To recap...

* Open relationship does not always = polyamory
* Polyamory does not always = swinging
* Swinging does not always = reckless
* Monogamous does not always = faithful
* Any one can get STDs if there is sex involved.
* Any man/woman can betray you or lie to you.

For me, it's just as disappointing as any other blanket statement about any other group (gays/lesbians, etc.).

It can work for people, I have lived it, and I have friends who continue to live it.

As far as *this* thread is concerned, I don't know if I can be more helpful or explain it any better. I offered an alternative point of view (a positive experience) but the subject seems to be taboo.

Not much more I can say. I am glad it has been discussed here though.

---

My message is,
your taking a GREATER RISK excepting others in your sex life. And if you and your partner decides to? i'm not judging!!! because who says i'm perfect? but i care about the human race and our well being and feel our generation is evolving into a more freely life style, and in a much dirtier world compared to the past. And yes, cheaters can bring a sick surprise back home to their partner, but it wasnt consent. See my point

I made this thread so everyone can share their own personal views, but assuming and jumping to conclusions is being to self defensive without looking past the trees. It's only a debate not a personal cut down.

And i warn people about HIV because the virus is real sh`t, not a fairytale from a book, feel me?

But thanks for your input

posted December 21, 2012 11:12 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by JLyn ~:
My message is,
your taking a GREATER RISK excepting others in your sex life. And if you and your partner decides to? i'm not judging!!! because who says i'm perfect? but i care about the human race and our well being and feel our generation is evolving into a more freely life style, and in a much dirtier world compared to the past. And yes, cheaters can bring a sick surprise back home their partner, but it wasnt consent. See my point

I made this post so everyone can share their own personal views, but assuming and jumping to conclusions is being to self defensive without looking past the trees. It's only a debate not a personal cut down.

And i warn people about HIV because the virus is real sh`t, not a fairytale from a book, feel me?

But thanks for your input

Aqu Venus

---

Actually, that's what condoms are for.

Also, she rattled off the ages and level of education of all parties involved. I think they were/are fully aware of whatever possible risks were there and don't need you to keep beating her over the head with it, which is what you assumed she needed.

Honestly? From where I'm sitting this reads more like you trying to force your own value system and morality onto her than anything else, and that says more about you than it does, her. As long as the people involved are all adults and all consent to it and know what they're getting into and are honest with one another, it's really none of your business and you really don't have the right to try and guilt-trip her for doing what she wants to do, just because you personally wouldn't do it.

posted December 21, 2012 11:50 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by StacyLewis:
Actually, that's what condoms are for.

Also, she rattled off the ages and level of education of all parties involved. I think they were/are fully aware of whatever possible risks were there and don't need you to keep beating her over the head with it, which is what you assumed she needed.

Honestly? From where I'm sitting this reads more like you trying to force your own value system and morality onto her than anything else, and that says more about you than it does, her. As long as the people involved are all adults and all consent to it and know what they're getting into and are honest with one another, it's really none of your business and you really don't have the right to try and guilt-trip her for doing what she wants to do, just because you personally wouldn't do it.

And rattling off a Venus placement out of the context of the rest of the chart, says nada. Just because you have Venus in Aquarius doesn't automatically mean by default that you're open-minded and non-judgmental about this sort of thing, and clearly, your posts back me up on this.

---

Sorry to burst your little bubble but condoms don't keep you from catching HIV. Also if you tongue kiss and the infected person has a cut or sore in their mouth, you will get it.

I'm obviously more concered about people spreading the virus but thats my personal view!! cant handle what i write and truly don't understand what i'm saying then go continue playing in a sand box cause i dont waste time on inbalances.

p.s
i'm extremely open minded and loving life everyday!

posted December 22, 2012 12:32 AM            

Thank you for that important info

Thanks

posted December 22, 2012 12:50 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by JLyn ~:
The u.s. bureau estimates 4,000,000,000 people living in america & 7,000,000 have HIV, but the scarier sh`t is 1 in 57 people dont even have a clue they got it because symtoms usually dont show 3 months up to 10 years later THEN it turns into AIDS. oh?'

I think you can love 2 people at the same time but you can only be in in-love with 1. We all wired to love. share love, but if you want a stable committed relationship with a partner as your best friend your side kick, then lets face it, threes company ruins that secret bond you once shared together.

"Rainbows are just a beautiful mist in the air that disappears when the reflection can only be seen by the eyes"

---

Read this old post above just in case you didn't see this

posted December 22, 2012 04:23 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by JLyn ~:
our generation

---

Just out of curiosity, which generation is that?

I'm around all the generations, from the grandparents to the tweens, and I don't see anything like what you're seeing. If anything the tweens (at least a few years ago, so they'd be teens now) were even worse than tweens my age, and by worse I mean ridiculously judgmental and condemning of anything even hinting of sexuality (for example, I think it was Hilary Duff who posed in a bikini on a bed for a music video of hers, and wow were her tween fans upset over her acting so "slutty"...I wonder if their little heads would've exploded if they'd seen Britney Spears a few years earlier ).

As I said before, if you live in Paris or Washington DC then maybe...I'd be surprised but not shocked given the things I've heard about both cities. But just about everywhere else...and as revealed by this thread...open relationships, polyamory, etc, very much remain the exception (even taboo).

posted December 22, 2012 05:11 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by StacyLewis:
Honestly Geeky, I think you're being incredibly patient here - probably more than you should be - with some of the responses you've been getting. It takes alot to stay calm when someone tells you in a heavy-handed, condescending tone that you need to watch a movie about something you actually know and have experienced firsthand, or people immediately alluding to sexually transmitted diseases...

---

Well... yeah. It's been a little hard to take but I know what my experience was. I hoped to share with everyone that it's not ALL bad. And it does hurt when people say things like "he must have been smug" because he is still a friend. He is one of the kindest human beings I've ever known and he deserves more credit that that.

The original thread started off saying something like 5 of her friends were in open relationships but only 2 were still happy or something like that. The same could be said for most monogamous relationships too. The divorce rate is pretty high so I don't see how one relationship style is better than the other.

Bad relationships are the product of poor communication skills, unclear expectations, lies, manipulation, cheating, abuse, etc. and it doesn't matter if you have been monogamous for 10 years or not... to quote my fav show "everybody lies".

Regardless of my feelings, I remain patient/calm/civilized because there is no reason to get upset. I don't know any of you and consequently, I don't have to deal with any of you in my day-to-day life (so there is no awkwardness). Additionally, I am not here on some pro open relationship committee. If it's not a popular choice, it doesn't matter to me. That's the beauty of it... we all get to choose.

On that note, I must choose sleep! I am about 2 hours past my normal bed time.

posted December 22, 2012 07:54 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
Just out of curiosity, which generation is that?

I'm around all the generations, from the grandparents to the tweens, and I don't see anything like what you're seeing. If anything the tweens (at least a few years ago, so they'd be teens now) were even worse than tweens my age, and by worse I mean ridiculously judgmental and condemning of anything even hinting of sexuality (for example, I think it was Hilary Duff who posed in a bikini on a bed for a music video of hers, and wow were her tween fans upset over her acting so "slutty"...I wonder if their little heads would've exploded if they'd seen Britney Spears a few years earlier ).

As I said before, if you live in Paris or Washington DC then maybe...I'd be surprised but not shocked given the things I've heard about both cities. But just about everywhere else...and as revealed by this thread...open relationships, polyamory, etc, very much remain the exception (even taboo).

So again, what gen? And what city or general area are you seeing this in?

---

umm lol
Wow well lets see a generation is about 30 years, which btw i'm 30 in a month so i can only imagine my next 30 year generational life. And surprisly the start of awarness of HIV and AIDS was in the mid 80's, so brittany spears and all the rest of sex sales music, tv, the gays and les that came out, sexual computer interaction, meth, crack, shooting up till their veins colaped oh and we cant forget heroine came back in a big way with everyone including myself on some kinda Rx from the doctor, yes, in this generation more then any so far we SO FAR have to take accountable for the high rate for the STD's and HIV problem we try to hide under the carpet and twist the subject just to fight like a child i have one already, thank you. And look, i aint no angel and everyone has their own sexual preferences but take a long look in the mirror and lets respect our self more insteading of leaving out the candy dish, uh

Im just saying (to everyone) in the next 10 years, half the world or more is ganna be walking around with horrible flu like symtoms from HIV and hepB all the time that you cant get rid of!

I Wish everyone love and have

Edit: i'm ganna continue writing because i dont wanna leave it cold

posted December 22, 2012 10:25 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by JLyn ~:
Im just saying (to everyone) in the next 10 years, half the world or more is ganna be walking around with horrible flu like symtoms from HIV and hepB all the time that you cant get rid of!

---

If true then you should realize the vast majority of them will have been monogamous and not into open relationships or any other alternative because this thread is a good representation of the world where the vast majority practice monogamy with a great many not even willing to consider any other alternative.

quote:

---

Originally posted by JLyn ~:
im not replying to ugly comments anymore

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posted December 22, 2012 11:51 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Geeky:
Ugh. That last bit about having fun & STDs seems a little negative to me.

You say you don't want to judge but then almost instantly make a comment about STDs.

It comes across like you are implying that people in open relationships are more likely to get STDs. Or more likely to be swingers (we weren't). Or more likely to have one night flings with multiple partners (we didn't).

To recap...

* Open relationship does not always = polyamory
* Polyamory does not always = swinging
* Swinging does not always = reckless
* Monogamous does not always = faithful
* Any one can get STDs if there is sex involved.
* Any man/woman can betray you or lie to you.

For me, it's just as disappointing as any other blanket statement about any other group (gays/lesbians, etc.).

It can work for people, I have lived it, and I have friends who continue to live it.

As far as *this* thread is concerned, I don't know if I can be more helpful or explain it any better. I offered an alternative point of view (a positive experience) but the subject seems to be taboo.

Not much more I can say. I am glad it has been discussed here though.

---

posted December 22, 2012 04:20 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by cappy1277:
I am 36 (the next generation up from yours) I can say that for sure, most of my generation practices safe sex and monogamy because we saw the generation before us becoming sick with HIV and other STDs that basically scared the bejesus out of us.

---

I am 34 & I agree. We worry more about AIDS and other STDs because we watched the AIDS epidemic get hyped on TV while we were kids in the 80s.

posted December 22, 2012 04:39 PM            

Anyway, I am wondering if we could now take this back to astrology? =D

What in my aspects would make me more open to this idea than another person? Because I think if had he approached some of the ladies here, he would have been given a firm "hell no" response.

Sun - Virgo
Asc - Leo
Moon - Sag
Merc - Leo
Venus - Scorp
Mars - Libra
Jupiter - Leo
Saturn - Virgo
Uranus - Scorp
Neptune - Sag
Pluto - Libra

More details...

posted December 22, 2012 05:04 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by cappy1277:
If I had to pinpoint it, I would say the Sagittarius moon...

---

I thought that too. I have the Virgo reasoning/analysis power to make decisions that might be risky but are ultimately very careful and timed appropriately.

I imagine if I had a Fire/Air sun combined with that Sag moon, I'd have a lot less restraint and I would not have analyzed/agonized over my decision to proceed like I did.

Also, if I had been a less evolved being (I know how emotional I was in my youth), my Scorpio Venus would have RAN FOR THE HILLS!!

posted December 22, 2012 06:54 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by StacyLewis:
It's an interesting comment too, considering that plenty of people give/receive STDs while in so called 'monogamus' relationships.

STDs are transmitted via sex, period. Anyone who is getting laid and not using protection stands a chance of getting em. Whether they're in an exclusive relationship, or not. Those disease don't discriminate and go, "Oh well, gee - I won't infect this person cuz they only date each other", come on now, that's asinine.

Honestly Geeky, I think you're being incredibly patient here - probably more than you should be - with some of the responses you've been getting. It takes alot to stay calm when someone tells you in a heavy-handed, condescending tone that you need to watch a movie about something you actually know and have experienced firsthand, or people immediately alluding to sexually transmitted diseases.

I think people are forgetting that values differ from person to person, and that just because you wouldn't do something, doesn't really mean that everyone else has to fall in line behind you and do what you do, or needs a lecture or judgment. As long as everybody involved is a consenting adult, worry about what you do with your private parts and stop trying to dictate to other people what they can do with their own hearts, lives and bodies.

---

looking at some of the comments I have no idea how stating if you are into monogamous vs. open and why, ended up turning into a "Oh hey your view is different from mine so maybe you need some education since you don't seem to know any better". Nobody needs to be scolded on what they choose to do with their own body. Plus considering none of us are darn near perfect I see no reason as to why anyone can argue a one way option to be for EVERYONE considering we're all so different and diverse and we all have different needs. "To each his own", what works for one person doesn't always work for the next.