Author
|
Topic: People who don't want to get married
|
YoursTrulyAlways Knowflake Posts: 6196 From: Registered: Oct 2011
|
posted October 16, 2013 08:45 AM
You people almost make divorce fashionable and the "in thing," and yet speak with so much damn authority on relationships when you haven't made/can't make a success of yours. And you do it again, and again, and perhaps yet again. Next, I see the implication that "God caused it." No, you caused it, and it was precisely your failures that led to divorce.Don't want to get married? Good. Do whatever you damn well want. Who gives a crap. IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy Knowflake Posts: 2632 From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron) Registered: Nov 2012
|
posted October 16, 2013 11:21 AM
quote: Anyway, I think the original question was regarding aspects or placements that would indicate someone not wanting to get married, yes?
I'm glad someone noticed  Now let's focus on astrology, ok? ------------------ I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
Aquacheeka Knowflake Posts: 2843 From: Toronto Registered: Mar 2012
|
posted October 16, 2013 11:24 AM
Count me in. No marriage for me. What's the point? Nobody means it anyways. 1/3rd of men married for 30 years have cheated.
IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy Knowflake Posts: 2632 From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron) Registered: Nov 2012
|
posted October 16, 2013 11:34 AM
Let's divide it into 2 situations: not wanting to get married because of the rejection of the idea of long-term/life-long commitment and not wanting to get married because of the rejection of the insitution ------------------ I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
Violets Knowflake Posts: 949 From: Registered: Apr 2011
|
posted October 16, 2013 11:54 AM
Cappy, why do your threads always turn out like this?! Haha...  IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy Knowflake Posts: 2632 From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron) Registered: Nov 2012
|
posted October 16, 2013 11:58 AM
I don't know, maybe it's my Pluto in the 3rd  ------------------ I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
Violets Knowflake Posts: 949 From: Registered: Apr 2011
|
posted October 16, 2013 12:18 PM
quote: Originally posted by I'm so cappy: I don't know, maybe it's my Pluto in the 3rd 
I have Pluto in 3rd!  Anyway, I assume that it's been my Uranus sitting on my IC, trine my Sun/Lilith in 8th and sextile my Virgo Moon in 2nd. Maybe my Aquarius Mercury and Part of Fortune conjunct in 7th? IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme Knowflake Posts: 4723 From: neptune Registered: Nov 2012
|
posted October 16, 2013 12:20 PM
I have a turbulent seventh house but also Jupiter in Libra but it's on the dark side of the ascendant so I have this idea that I will get married and feel stuck with that person and becoming unmarried will be difficult. I have heard horror stories about exes and am always glad I do not have one like that.So I have a fear of marriage, I guess. It boils down to being scared. IP: Logged |
Supermeggs12 Knowflake Posts: 123 From: California Registered: Jul 2013
|
posted October 16, 2013 12:33 PM
quote: Originally posted by I'm so cappy: I don't know, maybe it's my Pluto in the 3rd 
I have Pluto in the third house, too! My conversations be can start off pleasant, but end terribly. I also have Mercury conjuction Pluto. IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy Knowflake Posts: 2632 From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron) Registered: Nov 2012
|
posted October 16, 2013 01:54 PM
So I learnt a new thing today, thanks  ------------------ I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
Violets Knowflake Posts: 949 From: Registered: Apr 2011
|
posted October 16, 2013 02:01 PM
quote: Originally posted by PixieJane: I suppose it was just a misunderstanding...
Lol yes, I think there was a misunderstanding there somewhere.
IP: Logged |
Violets Knowflake Posts: 949 From: Registered: Apr 2011
|
posted October 16, 2013 02:10 PM
Eh...although I've been very against marriage (for myself) for most of my life, I like the fact that my Uranus aspects and Aqua placements can still manifest in my marriage and home life.We like to go on adventures together, move to different places, try new ways of living... My husband has Aqua Mars and Sag AC, so that's helpful. We're always trying to stay as true to our higher selves as we can, but it's a process we go through together, every day. I like that part, in addition to having a reasonably happy little family. All bases get covered.  IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy Knowflake Posts: 2632 From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron) Registered: Nov 2012
|
posted October 16, 2013 02:25 PM
I'm glad it works for you. And I'm also glad I live in the 21st centry and can choose to follow a different path.------------------ I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
Violets Knowflake Posts: 949 From: Registered: Apr 2011
|
posted October 16, 2013 02:43 PM
quote: Originally posted by I'm so cappy: I'm glad it works for you. And I'm also glad I live in the 21st centry and can choose to follow a different path.
I hear ya. I'm not a fan of archaic societal expectations in any way.  IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy Knowflake Posts: 2632 From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron) Registered: Nov 2012
|
posted October 16, 2013 02:46 PM
What changed your attitude then?------------------ I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
Violets Knowflake Posts: 949 From: Registered: Apr 2011
|
posted October 16, 2013 03:09 PM
quote: Originally posted by I'm so cappy: What changed your attitude then?
You know, I honestly can't put a finger on it. It just felt right for us. I think two people can easily stay together for long periods of time, even for life, and completely avoid getting married. I also believe that people can be absolutely happy without a partner, and just live their life however they want to. We both laugh about it sometimes, and we're like "Wow. If anyone had told us this is what we'd be doing ten years ago, we both would have laughed our @sses off". So...I have no idea.  IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy Knowflake Posts: 2632 From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron) Registered: Nov 2012
|
posted October 16, 2013 03:11 PM
You probably became a victim of marriage romanticisation (is there even such a word? )------------------ I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
Violets Knowflake Posts: 949 From: Registered: Apr 2011
|
posted October 16, 2013 03:44 PM
quote: Originally posted by I'm so cappy: You probably became a victim of marriage romanticisation (is there even such a word? )
Ew, no. Not for us, anyway. Things happen the way they happen, and if people are happy then it's a good thing, to my way of thinking. I'm 38 years old. I don't think I'm even capable of sitting around and romanticizing the idea of marriage, haha. Maybe some people my age are, but that's not really how I do things. But I do let life happen naturally, and this is how it worked out for me.  IP: Logged |
Lotis White Knowflake Posts: 1293 From: USA Registered: Dec 2010
|
posted October 16, 2013 04:48 PM
quote: Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways: You people almost make divorce fashionable and the "in thing," and yet speak with so much damn authority on relationships when you haven't made/can't make a success of yours. And you do it again, and again, and perhaps yet again. Next, I see the implication that "God caused it." No, you caused it, and it was precisely your failures that led to divorce.Don't want to get married? Good. Do whatever you damn well want. Who gives a crap.
I know! It's like I'm getting the vibe that people think marriage is 'uncool' or something. Like it's out of fashion to say 'I want to get married'. I'm not just talking about this thread! It's a general trend I've noticed when the subject of marriage comes up. People say that marriage is just an 'institution', but I think it actually serves a worthwhile purpose in society. It exists for the sake of formalizing a life-long commitment to our chosen mate, and for providing a secure basis for having children. Lets face it, being a single parent is hard work! (And if anyone wants to know, yes, I'm a Capricorn with Venus trine Saturn and opposite Jupiter). People are free to choose as they’d like when it comes to getting married or not. My personal point of view is that marriage is a way of standing up before the world and saying 'I'm committed to this relationship'. It then becomes something you're obliged to. Scary stuff for some! Lol! For myself, I think if a man is not willing to make a serious, formalized commitment to me, then maybe deep down in his heart he doesn’t see me as someone he'd want to be with long-term. So yeah, for myself I would like to get married and have children, preferably in that order. There are no guarantees but a formal commitment at least increases the likelihood that you’ve with someone who can see themselves with you for life. If a person balks at the thought of such a commitment then they’re not for me, no hard feelings. That’s just where I stand. I also think if a person is frightened by the prospect of marriage, and don’t think the are capable of a life-long commitment, then they shouldn’t do it. If you’re going to make a vow to someone, then you should at least mean it! And about marriage just being an ’institution’, there are those that believe that when you make a vow before god it has a deeper significance then just a legal contract. Not everyone feels this way these days, but for those that do, it think it’s important to respect their beliefs.
IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy Knowflake Posts: 2632 From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron) Registered: Nov 2012
|
posted October 16, 2013 04:55 PM
quote: It then becomes something you're obliged to.
I'm Cap&Saturn dominant but this sentence got on my nerves. I would probably die inside if I found out that my partner was with me because he felt obliged to. That would be worse than breaking up. ------------------ I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa Knowflake Posts: 5854 From: Registered: Nov 2011
|
posted October 16, 2013 04:56 PM
quote: Originally posted by Lotis White: I know! It's like I'm getting the vibe that people think marriage is 'uncool' or something. Like it's out of fashion to say 'I want to get married'. I'm not just talking about this thread! It's a general trend I've noticed when the subject of marriage comes up. And about marriage just being an ’institution’, there are those that believe that when you make a vow before god it has a deeper significance then just a legal contract. Not everyone feels this way these days, but for those that do, it think it’s important to respect their beliefs.
IP: Logged |
Lotis White Knowflake Posts: 1293 From: USA Registered: Dec 2010
|
posted October 16, 2013 04:58 PM
quote: Originally posted by Violets: Ew, no. Not for us, anyway. Things happen the way they happen, and if people are happy then it's a good thing, to my way of thinking. I'm 38 years old. I don't think I'm even capable of sitting around and romanticizing the idea of marriage, haha. Maybe some people my age are, but that's not really how I do things. But I do let life happen naturally, and this is how it worked out for me. 
There is nothing wrong with getting married. If you felt that's what you wanted to do then awesome! IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways Knowflake Posts: 6196 From: Registered: Oct 2011
|
posted October 16, 2013 05:06 PM
I wanted children and I refused to have children outside of the institution of marriage. If you don't desire children, then good for you, and do whatever you want. But don't ever consider having children without both parents present and under a less-than-happy household. Children suffer under a single parent family. IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy Knowflake Posts: 2632 From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron) Registered: Nov 2012
|
posted October 16, 2013 05:09 PM
Lotis, don't worry, marriage-oriented people are still the majority. The right to complain belongs to us who are not interested in it for whatever reason. It's OUR business but others seem not to get it. If we can not get agitated when we find out someone is married then you should be able to leave us alone too.
quote: But don't ever consider having children without both parents present and under a less-than-happy household. Children suffer under a single parent family.
Yes, sir! I wouldn't even dare. ------------------ I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
Lotis White Knowflake Posts: 1293 From: USA Registered: Dec 2010
|
posted October 16, 2013 05:13 PM
quote: Originally posted by Lotis White: It then becomes something you're obliged to.
quote: Originally posted by I'm so cappy: I'm Cap&Saturn dominant but this sentence got on my nerves. I would probably die inside if I found out that my partner was with me because he felt obliged to. That would be worse than breaking up.
Relationships are full of ups and downs (stuff happens!). If people are committed to their relationships then they need to be able to withstand these ups and downs. Usually this takes the ability to see beyond a current disagreement and remember our commitment to the person we're with in the first place. Having a sense of obligation to someone doesn't negate also loving them! I would want my partner to love me and also feel committed to me. A sense of duty and commitment does have a place in relationships. It's not all just sentiment. IP: Logged |