posted October 16, 2013 05:26 PM            

It's not just a piece of paper, it's what that piece of paper represents; The fact that two people have so much faith in their relationship that they'll enter into a legal contract and affirm their love for one another before witnesses.

"People can be committed without being married"... How so? How do you really know that someone is committed if they won't take that final step? You only have their word for it, but you're always conscious of them eyeing the door and feeling their pocket to make sure their key is there.

Marriage takes away the air of temporariness that hangs over a relationship. It tells you that someone, at least for the foreseeable future, has decided that you are the one, that they are no longer open to 'better' offers, that they no longer have one eye on the window in case they see a more attractive prospect outside.

As you can probably tell, I'm firmly in the 'want to get married' camp. My other half is at the other end of the spectrum, subscribing to the "just a piece of paper" belief and one of wanting to learn from others' mistakes - her assumption being that marriage is a mistake because it didn't work out for *some* people. Every time something happens to remind me of this it's like feeling another little bubble inside me burst, another small cell of my heart dying.

Yes, marriages fail, but at least those who have the conviction to marry are willing to take that chance. Would a baby refrain from standing up and walking if it saw another baby stand up and then fall? Of course not, it would follow its instinct and stand up and try to walk.

Whatever we do or don't do with our lives, the end result is the same, so why not live a little from the heart? After all, we come from nowhere and spend just 70, 80, 90 years here and then disappear again. Forever.

posted October 16, 2013 05:27 PM            

I suppose no one will get this one but who cares

VirGuy, I'm moved
I hope you're not pressuring your gf. If marriage is so important to you then you shouldn't be with someone on the opposite side in the first place.

quote:

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How do you really know that someone is committed if they won't take that final step?

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Hehe, how do you really know anything? Their actions in everyday life showing their love and commitment would be enough. I don't need to legalize my relationship to feel secure nor that would make me feel more loved. And if we fall apart...well, at least I tried. Just like millions of married couples tried.

posted October 16, 2013 05:46 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by VirGuy:
"It's just a piece of paper"... How very sad.

It's not just a piece of paper, it's what that piece of paper represents; The fact that two people have so much faith in their relationship that they'll enter into a legal contract and affirm their love for one another before witnesses.

"People can be committed without being married"... How so? How do you really know that someone is committed if they won't take that final step? You only have their word for it, but you're always conscious of them eyeing the door and feeling their pocket to make sure their key is there.

Marriage takes away the air of temporariness that hangs over a relationship. It tells you that someone, at least for the foreseeable future, has decided that you are the one, that they are no longer open to 'better' offers, that they no longer have one eye on the window in case they see a more attractive prospect outside.

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posted October 16, 2013 05:53 PM            

Take it easy people, it wasn't directed at anyone.

So, can we finally get back to astrology?

posted October 16, 2013 05:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
There are downs that would end my relationship and if there's a feeling of obligation it should result from commitment, not the other way round.

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I think the essence of our little debate is semantics. I'm one who tends to think that being committed to someone, means that you have a sense of obligation to them.

posted October 16, 2013 05:59 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by VirGuy:
"It's just a piece of paper"... How very sad.

It's not just a piece of paper, it's what that piece of paper represents; The fact that two people have so much faith in their relationship that they'll enter into a legal contract and affirm their love for one another before witnesses.

"People can be committed without being married"... How so? How do you really know that someone is committed if they won't take that final step? You only have their word for it, but you're always conscious of them eyeing the door and feeling their pocket to make sure their key is there.

Marriage takes away the air of temporariness that hangs over a relationship. It tells you that someone, at least for the foreseeable future, has decided that you are the one, that they are no longer open to 'better' offers, that they no longer have one eye on the window in case they see a more attractive prospect outside.

As you can probably tell, I'm firmly in the 'want to get married' camp. My other half is at the other end of the spectrum, subscribing to the "just a piece of paper" belief and one of wanting to learn from others' mistakes - her assumption being that marriage is a mistake because it didn't work out for *some* people. Every time something happens to remind me of this it's like feeling another little bubble inside me burst, another small cell of my heart dying.

Yes, marriages fail, but at least those who have the conviction to marry are willing to take that chance. Would a baby refrain from standing up and walking if it saw another baby stand up and then fall? Of course not, it would follow its instinct and stand up and try to walk.

Whatever we do or don't do with our lives, the end result is the same, so why not live a little from the heart? After all, we come from nowhere and spend just 70, 80, 90 years here and then disappear again. Forever.

Really folks, just take the chance. No one will mind in the end.

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posted October 16, 2013 06:12 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
Hehe, how do you really know anything? Their actions in everyday life showing their love and commitment would be enough. I don't need to legalize my relationship to feel secure nor that would make me feel more loved. And if we fall apart...well, at least I tried. Just like millions of married couples tried.

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Life is a once in a lifetime trip - it would be a shame to make it without ever knowing the feeling of another's love for you affirmed without compromise. I, for one, don't want to make that trip without experiencing the feeling of having a lady look into my eyes and say 'I do' and to feel that, at least for a while, she truly believes in 'us'.

quote:

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Originally posted by Lotis White:
I feel very similar to you in this regard. It's not just a piece of paper, it's the intent symbolized by this 'piece of paper' that is significant.

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posted October 16, 2013 06:15 PM            

I wouldn't even entertain the thought for most of my adult life, so I decided to add my two cents regarding my placements here.

So...maybe there should be a thread started for people who REALLY, REALLY think that everyone should get married (or something to that effect).

posted October 16, 2013 06:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
Ehem! What about making a separate thread for opinions on marriage? I made this thread not even to discuss not wanting to get married but to figure out the astrology behind it. Can we focus on it from now on PLEASE?

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posted October 16, 2013 06:16 PM            

quote:

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violets:

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^ violets.

posted October 16, 2013 06:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
Ehem! What about making a separate thread for opinions on marriage? I made this thread not even to discuss not wanting to get married but to figure out the astrology behind it. Can we focus on it from now on PLEASE?

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posted October 16, 2013 06:19 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
Violets, thank you.
Barbie, how can I what?

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posted October 16, 2013 06:20 PM            

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Originally posted by 11nahyt:
^ violets.

This thread went from people who don't want to get married, to those that are pro marriage, coming in here to rain in our parade..

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posted October 16, 2013 06:27 PM            

Or, it might be Venus square Saturn.

Virgo sun trine Taurus Saturn?

Afflicted seventh house ruler?

Chiron conjunct descendant?

So many things or perhaps a combination of them all?

posted October 16, 2013 06:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
If you meant making a thread then no, I didn't offer to do it, I suggested that someone who wants to keep on blabbing does it.

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posted October 16, 2013 06:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
Are these your aspects?

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posted October 16, 2013 06:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
I made this thread not even to discuss not wanting to get married but to figure out the astrology behind it. Can we focus on it from now on PLEASE?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
I'm just kind of wondering why people are commenting on this thread if they're strongly in favor of marriage. The title of the thread is "PEOPLE WHO DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED". I'm not exactly sure what was lost in translation there.

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posted October 16, 2013 06:41 PM            

Barbie, I'm trying to learn astrology and I'm looking for patterns behind everything. Why would this be an exception?

posted October 16, 2013 06:42 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by VirGuy:


Because you can't really explore one extreme without acknowledging the other extreme too. How many people who have never seen light can truly understand dark?

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