posted March 07, 2015 05:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by IceQueen:
NOOOOOOOOOOO no no no no no no no.
I have exalted Venus but Saturn opposes it.

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OK, OK, we believe you Thanks!

Koho, thank you for sharing and I hope you didn't get offended I understood better now, the intention in your first post. I am intrigued by your placements, they don't really match what you describe, I think you will probably experience an important shift at some point, in your views, but this kind of shift matches a Scorpio Sun, 12th house Mars very well

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I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

posted March 08, 2015 01:39 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
OK OK....more details please!

what was that?:

no traditional set ups either

and that:

All the way weird.

??

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I should have been more serious and not added "all the way weird". Because I am quite serious about my relationships. Yeah, no traditional set ups either. Well, I'm a mother. I'm a woman and I'm a mother. I have responsibilities, but I am also still young and I get horny like a motha ****** (LeeLoo, no disrespect but if you're young I apologize. Some of you here are quite brilliant. I assume you are in your 40s and turns out you are 16. Anyway I just don't want to speak that way to a young person.) If you're not too young this is how I want to say it, because this is the best way to describe it. Anyway I never go out. If I'm not with children, I'm working. My relationships are long term and and committed. I need steady companionship, but I need an unconventional arrangement. There are terms. And I'm thinking maybe contracts in the future. (I may have a fun way to implement this). In addition to the terms LeeLoo, next time, I need freedom to leave. And so does he, of course.

Right now (currently) in my life I am ready to fall in love (and being ready to fall in love feels a little bit different than my philosophy above, yes, but I always need space, time, and freedom). I fell in love in the fall for I think the first time in my adult life. My friend tells me that after him I raised the bar. lol. No one comes into my life without doing what he did (in their own way). Well, love hasn't happened yet, but a man came speaking practical and very sexy things. I'm thinking about my contracts again.

No matter what, love or contract, I need my freedom. I have time constraints and I will not permit my love life and family life to merge. There are other restrictions, but I reward my man, in this committed relationship, by not giving him grief if he wants to have another or a few other committed relationships. As long as he honors our terms, and he spoils me. A man will not find me sexually satisfying if he does not spoil me. I don't give a **** what anybody thinks about that. That's the way it is. I *** better when spoiled.

Is that still too vague? It's the weekend. I'm celebrating. Sorry if I'm not clear and I'm all spacey...

posted March 08, 2015 09:14 AM            

I understand what you mean, although personally I am no longer in this anymore: at this point, sex is beyond a physical need for me and I believe experiencing sex as sensorial activity/release/strictly pleasure (as it happens in ONS or contract relationships) leads, if happening for a longer time, to a severe damage to the soul/psyche and alienation. Purely physical sensorial sex is something everyone should experience for a while in their life, in order to understand what I'm trying to say here so if you are experiencing this kind of liberation, I believe you are on the right track.

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I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

posted March 08, 2015 09:32 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I'm no longer interested in pursuing one night stands or relationships, too much trouble for too little of a reward. However, I do get "hungry" and when I get "hungry" i'd rather go to a "restaurant" than to go hunting for something to satisfy that hunger. At a "restaurant" you can get what you want if you're willing to spend money. No mindgames, No BS, No uncertainty, just satisfaction.

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That's even more depressing, to share this with someone willing to sell their body to strangers, especially if we consider why this happens: poverty, child abuse, human trafficking, slavery, lack of education, a general disenchanted view on life, serious psychological issues. Not sexy.

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I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

posted March 08, 2015 09:40 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
That's even more depressing, to share this with someone willing to sell their body to strangers, especially if we consider why this happens: poverty, child abuse, human trafficking, slavery, lack of education, a general disenchanted view on life, serious psychological issues. Not sexy.

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posted March 08, 2015 09:43 AM            

But, if you find the right person you don't need a contract to have your needs met. You just have to find the right person.

posted March 08, 2015 09:44 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
^^^

Baaahahaha
I never thought I'd see you speak that way!!
The truth comes out!

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posted March 08, 2015 09:47 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
AG...

Oh this is funny! (And fun)
So do you eat at this restaurant, or only smell the food, then go home and fix yourself something to eat? LMAO

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posted March 08, 2015 09:48 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Not sexy.

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posted March 08, 2015 09:51 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
That's even more depressing, to share this with someone willing to sell their body to strangers, especially if we consider why this happens: poverty, child abuse, human trafficking, slavery, lack of education, a general disenchanted view on life, serious psychological issues. Not sexy.

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posted March 08, 2015 09:51 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
[b] That's even more depressing, to share this with someone willing to sell their body to strangers, especially if we consider why this happens: poverty, child abuse, human trafficking, slavery, lack of education, a general disenchanted view on life, serious psychological issues. Not sexy.

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posted March 08, 2015 10:04 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
[b] Not sexy.

That's a matter of opinion.

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Finding sexy you releasing on the body of a potential human trafficking victim the same as going to a "restaurant"...let this be your problem. Don't pin it on others: women or society.

Male prostitutes can't get it up anymore after few years on the job. It's a terrible occupation associated with sensorial numbness as an unconsciously created shield to protect the body, the aura and the psyche from the invasion associated with repeatedly being intimate with unknown people.

Intimacy of our body and soul is a real, important thing.

Just like Enneline, I simply can't find the words right now to describe the damage in this.

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I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

posted March 08, 2015 10:08 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:

Oh please....
If I won the lottery tomorrow and became rich i'd have no problems getting women. They'd suddenly become interested in me and want to be with me. Why is that? Would it be because I was "confident" and women loved me for my personality? Now that's rich... No i'd still be me but i'd have money and women would want access to my resources. Knowing that...... What's the problem?men are getting what they want and women are just getting what they want without all the bs and unneccesary courtship rituals. That's all.....

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You're basically saying you've never met women who support themselves, earn their own money, build their own careers and look for a partner in romantic relationships, rather than a 'sugar daddy'. That's unfortunate for you, really. They/we do exist, in large, large numbers - just not around you apparently.

posted March 08, 2015 10:18 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
I understand your point and to some extent, agree.
However, LeeLoo is correct.
Also, I think it's wrong to lump women together like that. They are not all the same, just like I'm sure you'd like women to understand that not all men are the same.
Some women stick with some real "deadbeats". I know some personally that the man makes less money and isn't particularly attractive in a conventional sense but they love them. They find them attractive.

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posted March 08, 2015 10:26 AM            

The next arrangement I am considering will be with an American who has spent a considerable amount of time in the Muslim world. He understands the nuances of Islam, and the theocracy of Islamic communities. He understands that I make my actual, real life choices through the filter of Islam because of my children. I was raised a Muslim, but my people raised me around Sufis and Dervishes (please do not quote me). I have to explore every corner of my life. And I can't be contained by rules. I can be seen as following the rules. But I have to live the truth of who I am. Sometimes that is socially acceptable. Sometimes it isn't.

My terms actually address the nature of the sexual relationship. More important for me than love is my spiritual growth. I don't mean I want to be a better person. I am talking about exploration, travelling, flying carpets, and the death in orgasm. I already love everyone. Love in a relationship simply means I submit. It's true. When I'm in love, I yield, for a time...I do believe in deep transformative sex. I cannot engage in light friendly interactions. Being in love gives a very deep meaning to sex. But you can also find someone who will commit (has the ability) to performing for you so that you can reach your sexual ambitions. I have sexual ambitions. I have always been very sexual and needed to explore myself through sex, but in my traditional relationships, my needs weren't spelled out. Other things were considered more important- living together, making a family together, looking like a couple. I don't need those things. I actually can't fit those things into my life. What I need is a man. My definition of a man is someone who is free and strong, and who takes responsibility for "what his right hand possesses", yeah I effing said it, for anyone who has heard it before. I said it. He sleeps with women, and is committed to their well being for as long as he is with them. That man needs to give me a sense of security so that when we are together I can let go, and begin my sexual/spiritual journey. In order for me to travel sexually/spiritually, there are worldly matters that need to be agreed upon so that I feel secure. Without security I go nowhere. Just the way it is.

posted March 08, 2015 10:30 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[quote]
Well here's my thing....
All you have to do is watch the news to see that lots of women have unusual taste in men. There's always a story of some woman who got beat up or even worse by her badboy boyfriends. I see these women and all the abuse and BS they'll take from the guys they deem sexy and I see that there is no incentive to play the game. Guys like me have to do everything right and jump through all the hoops. Think of women as gatekeepers.... I have to stand outside the gate in the cold for hours and negotiate to get inside while all a sexy guy has to do is show up and the gate is opened for him. And the women will meet him inside butt naked and have a hot meal on the table. Why should a guy like me play a game that i'm going to lose when some guys win just by showing up? I just don't see how that benefits me.

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quote:

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Think of women as gatekeepers....

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posted March 08, 2015 10:37 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
I definitely see venus2tinkerbell's point. I used to joke, but joke seriously, that I wanted a part time girlfriend. Contract relationship... the Virgo in me I think finds that appealing.

But, if you find the right person you don't need a contract to have your needs met. You just have to find the right person.

I'm agree with LeeLoo. Sex for me goes way beyond sensory... our bodies. It always has for me. (Venus/mars in 12th?)
I've had one nighters but they were ALWAYS missing something.

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Marriage is a contract, but because you're in love you assume the terms are understood and the same, agreed upon.

posted March 08, 2015 10:37 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:

Well here's my thing....
All you have to do is watch the news to see that lots of women have unusual taste in men. There's always a story of some woman who got beat up or even worse by her badboy boyfriends. I see these women and all the abuse and BS they'll take from the guys they deem sexy and I see that there is no incentive to play the game. Guys like me have to do everything right and jump through all the hoops. Think of women as gatekeepers.... I have to stand outside the gate in the cold for hours and negotiate to get inside while all a sexy guy has to do is show up and the gate is opened for him. And the women will meet him inside butt naked and have a hot meal on the table. Why should a guy like me play a game that i'm going to lose when some guys win just by showing up? I just don't see how that benefits me.

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I don't see any need to re-iterate what Selenite said above so eloquently, just one thing to add:
Out of all reasons women stay with domestic abusers, finding their abuser 'sexy' is NEVER one of them. How incredibly appalling, uneducated and offensive to abuse victims to imply such a thing! Even in cases of strong sexual attraction in abusive relationships, there are other stronger factors at play. A 10-minute research on domestic abuse can show you that.

posted March 08, 2015 10:39 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
OK, OK, we believe you Thanks!

Koho, thank you for sharing and I hope you didn't get offended I understood better now, the intention in your first post. I am intrigued by your placements, they don't really match what you describe, I think you will probably experience an important shift at some point, in your views, but this kind of shift matches a Scorpio Sun, 12th house Mars very well

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Not offended, no worries. I disagree though. I don't think I have anything to shift to. Obviously the future is difficult to know though.

I'm just very open to all modes of relating. I suspect you think I should be a more intense and commitment wanting 7th Scorpio Sun and Mars 12ther. I can do that.

But I also acknowledge that it isn't the only way of relating. I disagree in the sense that the correct way of love and sex is through deepness and intensity and that it makes you a more spiritually soul-fulfilled person.

posted March 08, 2015 10:41 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
That's even more depressing, to share this with someone willing to sell their body to strangers, especially if we consider why this happens: poverty, child abuse, human trafficking, slavery, lack of education, a general disenchanted view on life, serious psychological issues. Not sexy.

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Not all women who enter into this profession are damaged. I know many are, and I am not sure who Aquaguy is seeing, but reform in this industry would actually allow women for whom this work is not immoral to negotiate terms and conditions with a bit more leverage, benefiting them and elevating their condition. Again, contracts.