posted September 19, 2015 07:51 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by nordicsoul:
I am always suspicious when someone call others selfish. are they selfish because they dont satisfy our SELFISH needs?

back to your question... it is difficult to tell because sometimes a very giving person may become self-protective because of stress, because of too much emotional demands. i have seen very sensitive souls to switch off when under too much emotional demands...

I would agree with one of the comments about depending on the synastry. someone evil is someone else blessing. but if i were to think of selfishness as a neutral concept, then lot of aries, cancer (self-centered), capricorn moon(only about protecting my needs and what makes me not to do the wrong thing)taurus-scorpio (stingy) aquarious (i care too much about humanity, but your particular problem is not that important).. as you can see many can be selfish. it is difficult to find a particular aspect...

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posted September 20, 2015 02:50 AM            

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Originally posted by 4lifephrases:
So I am weary of anybody helping me unless we both know we are getting something out of it.;-)

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I could not agree more and I would add that the 'transaction' goes sometimes unnoticed for those who receive, but also for those who expect.

1- person A give person B lot of emotional support (i am here for you expecting you will be here for me when the occasion comes)
2.- person B receives unaware what is expected. sometimes they dont even realize that they are 'receiving'. they may even surprise when pointed out their selfishness (whed did I promise this or that? or why this person gave this if they are expecting to be paid back?)

so, at the end everybody is SELFISH in their own way, but there are selfishness that is upfront (Aries type going for what they want without asking permission)or the manipulative one (i am giving this with the expectation that you pay me somehow the sacrifice)-more the piscean-cancerian way

i would use the words of khalil gibrand.. the three give fruits for not doing is dying. they dont ask is you are worth of receiving the fruit or not... so they just give because it is part of their SELFISH need for continue livig...

posted September 20, 2015 05:11 AM              

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Originally posted by Nine:
Like most things there are probably varying degrees of selfish.

To me, selfish is someone who can't empathize with the other side. Where they must always get the best of every situation.

One of the most selfish people I know is a Pisces w/ Cap moon, Venus & Mars in Aries. If there's no personal tangible benefit to him, he's not interested. Whenever free stuff is handed out he's first in line.

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I agree with this 100%.

I'm an Aries moon (conjunction Aries Mars) and I would say that I consider most things before I carry them out. For example, if anyone offered me anything from their plate or their money; I would ensure that they didn't want it or didn't need it. This is because I can empathise and put myself in their shoes. If the situation was reversed I wouldn't want someone to borrow from me without thinking of me. I am a firm believer in when you can, doing onto others. Perhaps one might say that the very act of thinking about my future interactions with others and trying to ensure that they run smoothly (based on what you give out is what you get back) is the selfish thing; but I don't know if I can really agree to that. Sometimes it's just about considering the other person and realising that if someone treated me in a particular way, I would be MAD. So, I try and avoid being the perpetrator of that particular behaviour.

When it comes to sharing resources, I am more likely to give something to someone when I have decided that I personally have no use for it. For example, I don't need £2 right now. I would give it to my friend and not expect it back because I've already written it off. However, if I was looking at a larger sum e.g. £10 I might be more hesitant and I probably would expect it back because I could use that cash some day. In this way, I guess I am being selfish; but at the same time... I would much rather GIVE someone something. LENDING is not really for me, as at feel that it can often cause more problems for both parties.

Where I will admit outright that I'm selfish, is when it comes to emotional honesty and emotional intimacy. My desire to KNOW is often direct, impulsive and quite brutal. Over the years, I feel that I've learned to listen to my gut as opposed to reaching out to other people for confirmation of what I already know and this SAVES a lot of time/confrontation. I've also learned to pick who I surround myself with better and therefore, this need is less of a selfish thing that is imposed on others. It is simply part of the natural course of things, because honesty is a characteristic that I now strive to find in a friend and therefore, it comes naturally and without it having to be sought in an aggressive, blunt, direct manner.

Finally... barking orders. When it comes to the way I work, I already know my style. I like a structured approached and to see a job completed. If my name is on it, I see it as a reflection of me and therefore, it needs to be the best it can be. I prefer to work alone because I can order myself around and I can handle the pressure I put myself under. I do still like working with others, but I'll always ensure that I have permission to lead before I start doing anything dominating. I'll ask questions as food for thought as opposed to coming out and trying to revamp the whole process. I've accepted that I can be a bit of a control freak in that sense and I always think about others before I unleash it in a workplace environment.

posted September 20, 2015 07:38 AM            

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Originally posted by 4lifephrases:
Somebody who hasn't been through life in your shoes and can not relate to you. They haven't suffered as you. They would be much better and emotionally giving, empathic and caring when they face same problems so stop expecting people who hasn't been through to be nice to you instead go find your support group. There is always group of people who are going through what you are going through. Online or offline.

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posted September 20, 2015 12:07 PM            

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Originally posted by Belage:
Moon is exalted in Taurus.

This placement doesn't indicate selfishness.

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I have Taurus moon. Not selfish at all, quite the doormat.

My sister is a double capricorn, sun and moon. She is the most selfish insufferable person I have ever met. She wouldnt do anything for you unless she thought something was in it for her.

posted September 20, 2015 02:07 PM            

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Originally posted by ail221:
Jupiter square perhaps

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i have this and i admit i can be very selfish and very giving. i feel i struggle to balance when it comes to generosity cause I'm so generous at times and other times i don't even want to bother to be generous to someone who i feel that won't even deserve it or to even really care (jupiter square venus my chart ruler)

posted September 20, 2015 02:19 PM            

mars Retrograde in aries especially in the fire signs THAT is only afflicted can be very selfish and cause a lot of drama and immaturity.

posted September 20, 2015 02:49 PM            

Most of my friends are water or earth dominant and they were taking advantage of me and being really terrible people

When I am air dominant and I explained the situation to them and they knew they just couldn't see past themselves

Like I'm not wealthy but even if I was extremely rich that's no reason to use me

I mind to I am a human being

posted September 20, 2015 07:13 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by nordicsoul:
I could not agree more and I would add that the 'transaction' goes sometimes unnoticed for those who receive, but also for those who expect.

1- person A give person B lot of emotional support (i am here for you expecting you will be here for me when the occasion comes)
2.- person B receives unaware what is expected. sometimes they dont even realize that they are 'receiving'. they may even surprise when pointed out their selfishness (whed did I promise this or that? or why this person gave this if they are expecting to be paid back?)

so, at the end everybody is SELFISH in their own way, but there are selfishness that is upfront (Aries type going for what they want without asking permission)or the manipulative one (i am giving this with the expectation that you pay me somehow the sacrifice)-more the piscean-cancerian way

i would use the words of khalil gibrand.. the three give fruits for not doing is dying. they dont ask is you are worth of receiving the fruit or not... so they just give because it is part of their SELFISH need for continue livig...

so, whenever a person find themselves used, i invite he-she to think what was the unsaid transaction that was broken? if we are honest with ourselves, we should conclude that if we dont want to be angry against selfish, we need to take care of our needs FIRST and not expect other do that for us, just because we sacrifice. sacrifice is a manipulative tools of those who are do not dare to go for what they want: I am not going to satisfy my needs, i expect you to do so. in turn, i will give you all I can to make you happy, so you will pay me back----WRONG APPROACH

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Both your post lovely answers. Can you care to share your placements as well ?

posted September 20, 2015 09:24 PM            

Although Cancer is supposed to be the nurturing sign, a few Cancerian folks I've known quite personally have ended up being very selfish - withholding their resources or ignoring others in spite or revenge. But even then, it's all highly dependent on the rest of the chart, and what other aspects the person's planets are making in their chart. It depends on so many factors.

Some universal factors of a giving spirit? A strong Jupiter influence with positive aspects. The trine and conjunction to many personal planets, especially Venus and the Sun.

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Celestial psychic readings, astrological charts, and crystal healing by Alexa.

posted September 21, 2015 01:43 PM              

Or maybe it was just the ones I've known, exhibiting the not-so-nice spectrum of moon in Sag.

posted April 24, 2020 03:16 AM            

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Originally posted by wheresthemoon:
I think Mars/Uranus, and from my personal observation, Pisces influence.

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It’s ironic ‘cause you would think Pisces is all about compassion and putting others’ needs above their own.

posted April 24, 2020 04:45 AM            

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Originally posted by Belage:
Is every Aries on this board going to come out of the woodword to swear that they're not selfish? :P

Okay, I believe you. As I previously stated, you may have some aspect that mitigates your natural selfishness. that doesn't negate the fact that Aries by nature put itself first.

Angelina Jolie is a perfect example. She has moon and Jupiter in Aries. Yes, she goes and does all sort of wonderful things for refugees and children (Cancer ascendant), but in her private life, she has no problem going for what she wants without worrying about how it affects others.

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Well, like I said five years ago, I was honest, and not listened to. I do care about how I might affect others. I don’t run off and do something anyway, because I want to.

posted April 24, 2020 04:47 AM            

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Originally posted by EmGem:
Hey teasel, this moon/mars hard aspect gal is also exiting

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posted April 24, 2020 10:51 AM            

The maid of honor flipped out on me, and called me the S word.
After she left I blurted out "she's the one that chose going to a hockey game over being at the bridal shower." She came back all like "what did you say about me!?" I was not going to go there...on my sister wedding day and dropped it.

But my sister and I privately agreed that choosing a hockey game over a bridal shower is you are the maid of honor in, is pretty sh1++y. You can go to a hockey game anytime. Your best friend's bridal shower is often a once in a lifetime thing. My sister forgives her and just says she's an alcoholic she will always choose the thing that allows drinking.

The maid of honor who called me selfish has Aries ASC

posted April 24, 2020 05:47 PM            

When I first started my job and had stuff to turn in for college that's when I began to realize I don't have to be so nice and can decline her calls.
It got weirder, I would tell her I'll call you back after I take my bath. Couldn't wait, didn't listen called me four times when I was in the tub.
It got weirder, I was so sick that I called off work, when I told her she called off work sick too the next day. And then tried to call me four times! I think that is bizarre and selfish to take a stay-cation and want a sick person to entertain you. And even got texts like "we should hang soon!"
Once I had to social distance from my job, she really thought I was having a stay-cation, and had nothing better to do but talk to her multiple times a day.
She also went out in public everyday. To the grocery and drug store everyday. Tried to invite herself over to my apartment too. I think that is pretty selfish.

The phones calls and texts got so excessive that I ignored her calls. Called me 10 times between noon-9 at night.

Can't take a hint. I finally had to ask her to contact me less. Today I got one of those calls and then I text like I didn't mean to call you.

I am contemplating actually using the do not disturb options on my phone. I can't believe I might actually have to use it.

Her attitude has been p1$$ing me off before I established better boundaries, but is also a tad child like. Basically like what do you mean you can't talk? you are not at work.

I think she is so use to the attention I was giving her, that she is too impatient to balance out her friendships more and meet new people.

I almost want to tell her do you ever think about going back to church and meeting new people? Or suggesting she tries a making new friends website. (like online dating but with friends.)

She makes me feel like a dude who is trying to get rid of a chick. Like is there a nicer way to say "I want to see other people" "I like to have open friendships"