posted November 04, 2015 04:08 AM            

Sun Square Pluto (chart ruler)
Kaali Conjunct Neptune (which is already in 2H with my Moon)
Moon Square Venus
Deprez Conjunct MC
Lucifer & Sedna loosely Conjunct Chiron in 7H
And - wait for it....

Sedna Conjunct DC
Venus Conjunct SA in 4H

Oh, yes. I feel this. So much. Very abusive father, lots of romantic disappointment & betrayal, self esteem issues, trouble opening up & connecting. But if I'm going to fall, I fall HARD. Bleeding heart for basically anyone facing adversity. Sometimes to the point of physical pain...

I must have been the worst person in my past life which sucks because I KNOW I'm a pretty good person in this life. I do manage to have some pretty special friends though.

posted November 04, 2015 08:04 AM            

Sorry you went through that pain, my Friend and Welcome to our LL family.

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posted November 04, 2015 09:49 AM            

Just want to mention that with asteroids, the aspects must be very close( 1-2 in a conjunction and 1 in another aspect, such as a square)

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posted November 04, 2015 12:51 PM            

At least I don't have to worry about the aspects to Chiron. But everything else, yeah. 2 degrees or less. I feel like the Venus/SA conjunction in 4H just ices the cake. I've always hoped I could build a loving home with a wonderful partner. Mission unaccomplished so far.

posted November 04, 2015 01:03 PM            

Why don't you list your aspects with the degrees and we will take a look, S!

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posted November 04, 2015 02:17 PM            

You mean all my aspects or just the difficult ones we've been discussing? Here is a pic of my general natal chart: [IMG]http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm34/starwerx/Stars/c81 f1151-4557-4ee2-9591-02b9171deb90_zps36uroiws.png[/IMG]

But the aspects I mentioned are:

Sun 23 Cap 13 Square Pluto 21 Lib 44
Chiron(r) 9 Tau 8 Conjunct Lucifer 13 Tau 38
Chiron(r) 9 Tau 8 Conjunct Sedna(r) 5 Tau 15
Sedna(r) 5 Tau 15 Conjunct DC 4 Tau 41
Dejanira(r) 3 Vir 58 Sextile AC 4 Sco 41
Deprez(r) 9 Leo 16 Conjunct MC 11 Leo 41
Kaali 19 Sag 4 Conjunct Neptune 21 Sag 23
Venus 27 Aqu 41 Conjunct SA 29 Aqu 52

Also:

Dejanira(r) 3 Vir 58 Square Moon 6 Sag 34
Dejanira(r) 3 Vir 58 Sesqui Mercury 18 Cap 45
Deprez(r) 9 Leo 16 Trine Moon 6 Sag 34
Deprez(r) 9 Leo 16 Semisex Jupiter 9 Vir 41
Deprez(r) 9 Leo 16 Qunitile Pluto 21 Lib 44
Deprez(r) 9 Leo 16 Square Chiron(r) 9 Tau 8
Deprez(r) 9 Leo 16 Sextile AC 4 Sco 41
Kaali 19 Sag 4 Semisex Mercury 18 Cap 45
Kaali 19 Sag 4 Sextile Pluto 21 Lib 44
Kaali 19 Sag 4 Semisquare AC 4 Sco 41
Sedna 5 Tau 15 Sesqui Neptune 21 Sag 23
Sedna 5 Tau 15 Qunincunx Moon 6 Sag 34
Sedna 5 Tau 15 Opposite AC 4 Sco 41
Lucifer 13 Tau 38 Trine Mars 15 Vir 19
Lucifer 13 Tau 38 Square MC 11 Leo 41

I left out aspects with wider orbs :-/

My asteroid Compassion (8990) loosely trines my Neptune and loosely conjuncts my MC!

posted November 04, 2015 03:22 PM            

On this one, for example. You may seek for, unconsciously, of course, guys who will betray you.
I feel this would be a pattern in this case.

Do you feel it is?

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posted November 04, 2015 03:23 PM            

You may have depression that it is very hard to hide, even though you may want to.

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posted November 04, 2015 03:24 PM            

You may put your primal passions such as rage, lust etc in a box, separate from your ego.

You may feel compartmentalized in this.

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posted November 04, 2015 05:26 PM            

There's more to me than depression, but it is definitely something I struggle/live with and try not to show. Unsuccessfully, like you said.

Compartmentalized rage and lust? Like a secret life or BPD? God, I hope not. I don't think so... I rarely express those kinds of feelings. Maybe that's it. I definitely don't express rage well.

posted November 04, 2015 06:04 PM            

This is what I mean. xx

I am trying to feel out Pluto square the Sun more? Can I ask you some questions and you seem like a truly lovely person who is trying to face herself, which is SUPER hard.

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posted November 04, 2015 06:57 PM            

I really appreciate it. You are right. I am very much in a soul seeking, spiritual place right now. I think I have gathered that this incarnation will be about a perpetual cycle of births and deaths. But I am truly trying to check my path - and trying to figure out how to enjoy life.

posted November 04, 2015 09:10 PM            

I would like to pick your brain about the Pluto square Sun. I am doing a chart in which the person has this.

Was your dad out of control and did this make you shut yourself down?

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posted November 05, 2015 01:10 AM            

My father was out of control and very much in control at the same time. He's generally a megalomaniac. But I would say he has sadistic personality disorder. I do think he loves me. When I was a kid, he went through a very unhappy period where his behavior was just magnified. But very systematic, almost effortlessly. He never broke anything and rarely left visible injury in unclothed areas. Psychological abuse was what he liked best anyway. I won't go into it. Calling me names would have been fine. That is definitely where the shutting down began. But unfortunately, my next significant relationship with a man was very emotionally abusive and I think that sort of sealed the deal. Like confirmation that my father was "right."

I've done my time on the proverbial couch. I don't really experience PTSD symptoms much anymore. Most of the time I can even forget about depression. Unfortunately, when circumstances get really tough from time to time, stuff I thought I made peace with can infiltrate.

Funnily enough, the Sabian symbol for my Sedna is "A Young Widow Stands At an Open Grave." So, if only this were so easy, right? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moSFlvxnbgk

posted November 05, 2015 01:53 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
No, Lucifer is not what people think. His Theme is spiritual pride, not spells or evil, per se.

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posted November 05, 2015 09:46 AM            

Thank you for sharing. I understand, first hand what you went through.

Astrology can help us see that it was NOT our fault.

One of my longtime clients has Sun square Pluto and she went through something similar to you.

I appreciate your explaining what you went through because it helps us to see those powerful energies and what they do in a square.

Stick your chart up and I will take a look, if you want.

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posted November 05, 2015 01:39 PM            

Your 12th house Pluto is hard because your primal passions are pushed down, through no fault of her own.

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posted November 05, 2015 02:15 PM            

Your Pluto in the 12th makes it really hard to accept your primal passions, such as lust, rage etc. You tend to push them inside and this makes it hard for you to carry.

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posted November 05, 2015 02:22 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by starxd:
Thanks again

What orbs do you use? Do you use wider orbs amongst personal planets? Also, please forgive my ignorance, but don't a lot of people of the same generation have the outer planets in the same houses?

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Orbs-- about 5 for planets

2 in a conjunction for asteroids

1 in other aspects for asteroids like squares,trines etc

NO, the Houses are based on TIME of birth, solely.

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posted November 06, 2015 12:09 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by StubbornVirgo:
Chiron in the 6th house is a pretty painful position, especially when paired with a Saturn opposition in the 12th house.

You want to help people (in any capacity really but I've seen this play out in healthcare professions mostly) and you're probably a fantastic provider, but...

You're too busy dealing with you're own health issues. It's not in anyway you're fault, because you truly are sick. It's just the burden you're meant to deal with in this life.

So even though you're a natural caregiver, at some point, there is a career change. I think, if there's other factors in the chart, there may be an opportunity to use those experiences for the better good (writing a book about chronic illness, for example). But there is a shift of some kind, simply because they cannot do the job that they did before.

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I didn't really experience my Chiron in 6th fully until I had several hard-hitting transits at once, including a long-term Chiron and Neptune opposition to my Virgo stellium. Still, I didn't feel the effects of illness on my career until Saturn crossed over my MC.

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Hi StubbornVirgo!

Can you explain more on why there would be a career change?

I have Chiron in 6th house, and Saturn in 12th house but they are not in opposition though.. Too wide of an orb.

I am in medical field.. doing research, but for the last couple of years or so, work and schooling have made me physically very weak. I feel like I need to survive and live through one day at a time. Still, it doesn't make me want to change my career... The hardships make me want to get through it even more.

posted November 06, 2015 02:26 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YellowGerbera:
Hi StubbornVirgo!

Can you explain more on why there would be a career change?

I have Chiron in 6th house, and Saturn in 12th house but they are not in opposition though.. Too wide of an orb.

I am in medical field.. doing research, but for the last couple of years or so, work and schooling have made me physically very weak. I feel like I need to survive and live through one day at a time. Still, it doesn't make me want to change my career... The hardships make me want to get through it even more.

I am back in school to advance in my career but... the change you mentioned is kinda scarying me! lol!!

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I'm probably speaking more from personal experience for that part...but Ami would be a good person to ask about that.

I worked in the medical field for a little while before my health finally went kaput. I miss it quite a bit, but my health always pays dearly for it.

I've instead turned my attention to other things that I can do well and profit from (writing mostly, but also graphic design and handcrafting items to sell). Also, when Saturn crossed over my MC around the same time, I decided I would go to graduate school, but in a completely different area. I'm transitioning out of the medical field, basically.

posted November 06, 2015 05:22 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by starxd:
Thanks again

Funny about the houses. A lot of past relationships I've checked my synastry with, our 4,5,7,8 houses overlap. No matter where in the world or what time. I guess that shouldn't be surprising. But considering my track record. LOL

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You are most welcome, my FRiend!

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