posted January 18, 2016 10:49 AM            

He was creating so much distance, pushing me away so I sent a note to say I am sorry but needed more closeness from him and consistency. I was a nice as possible and told him how much I cared.

He replied "I respect any decision you make"
And now is icing me.

posted January 18, 2016 10:49 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LF DX:
Sure, here it is

]http://i.imgur.com/cm8Em0r.gif[/IMG]

---

Interesting, you have the same birthday as my BF but different year.

He had to go through alot of self digging and for 3 years he worked on himself. It takes time to change. The focus should not be on the end product but should be on the little steps, or 'mini goals', for yourself along the way.

posted January 18, 2016 10:53 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by misspriss:
I ended it with my enevolved Scorpio today

He was creating so much distance, pushing me away so I sent a note to say I am sorry but needed more closeness from him and consistency. I was a nice as possible and told him how much I cared.

He replied "I respect any decision you make"
And now is icing me.

Sometimes Scorpio males can do such a good impression of someone who doesn't care that they leave the people who love them unsure of whether they actually don't care!

---

So sorry to hear! I hope you find someone who will truly cherish and love you for all that you are.

Scorpios, evolved or unevolved, are quite 'special' to deal with. I'm with a Scorpio myself, and I can understand and see some of these underlying themes that everyone talks about. It's not easy, but nothing worth it in life ever comes easy.

posted January 18, 2016 04:04 PM            

I started with a lot of anxieties, but, I'll make step by step, to make a difference in my life, to improve it, litte by little, I know I'll be back some days in the black hole, but I'll make sure to get out there, cause there's a lot to see and to feel in the world, and I want to be happy and live the life I want to live, it's a long way, but I'll make it through.

posted January 18, 2016 05:07 PM              

Band rehearsals are the worst!
I just hope maybe he can learn the way you have to stop being so afraid. Life shouldn't be lived that way and he should know intrinsically I'm not here to hurt him.

posted January 18, 2016 06:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dancing Maenad:
You don't seem that unevolved to me.

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Very true!

It's almost like the very fact you are aware of the behavior makes you evolved. No?

posted January 18, 2016 07:49 PM            

I am in the (apparently) lucky situation of never having had this experience with a Scorpio, or even a person with other planets in Scorpio.

Scorpio is one of my favourite signs, precisely because they never play games with me of any sort. I feel like this is the most trustworthy and reliable sign.

Either I've only attracted evolved Scorpios, or alternatively -our synastry brings out the best in them

I am curious... if you know your exes' charts... have you ever behaved in this manner (playing mind games etc)... with those who have strong Capricorn influences?

posted January 19, 2016 12:33 PM            

- midnightcatqueen: If there's no chance to talk about it, then leave him be, and thinking about it, you still have your band and you still rehearse, keep the machine going, it's for those melodramas that bands with potential broke up, so keep it going, make music please. At least you have your band going, my band is literally dead since I drifted from the cancer woman, and no matter the times I've tried, people don't respond, it sucks.

- Vajra: Yes, I do meditate, almost on a daily basis since last year, and thanks to that is that I experienced some changes that allowed me to experience the good things that happened to me last year, which was the first I think I felt I lived, new friends, new experiences, lots of adventures, it was amazing in a lot of senses, having the power to open up to the world more and getting the chance to connect with people. And, I think it's because of meditating that I became able to express this and finally realizing my self-sabotaging ways that ruined many things, luckily, most of the things and relationships that happened last year didn't end completely, and my emotional extremes are now more controlled, so, I have changed something, but there's a long way to go, but at least, I'm moving forward.

All of my problems started since me and the cancer woman drifted, because she was getting very cold with me after that botched date, and we lose contact gradually, until her coldness affected our band discussions, and that did an effect on me that made me withdraw, but I thought it would be temporary cause it was the holidays and I had test to pass and she had personal problems and we just... stopped contact, and we barely did a thing about it, just a few textings saying we both wanted to continue playing together and then this past week she put pictures of our first meeting and our first recording, and then we had our first pleasant conversation saying to reunite again, even without the other bandmembers don't respond.

But unfortunately, since that coldness is that I developed that extreme anxiety for her, I can't put myself to talk with her, to just say Hi, I have this panic that leaves me frozen, and as time went by, my emotions took the best out of me and I became more and more stressed, more nervous, I drinked a lot, I was sinking, it was this last sunday that I decided to finally stop this, because it was killing me so bad, that I was even saying to my friends that I wanted her to hate me, that I want her out, that I was a miserable man, the negativity was really controlling me completely, and even now, that I have a gut feeling that is saying to me "Reconnect with her ********* ", I'm still distant, but yesterday I did a few little things just to mark my presence into her life again.

That is my lifetime problem, my unability to make deep connections with women, specifically romantic, that only since last year I started to make more female friends and seeing the attention that women gave me, and making baby steps to try to open up some more. Before that I barely have close friends, most of my relationships were very shallow, never have a girlfriend(I still don't), rarely had any deep physical contact, I withdraw from them as soon as problems came into the front, killing some great connections on the road, and the few times I had the power to express my feelings were only when I was completely overloaded with emotions and those times were more like a creep on a rampage rather than expressing love.

Yes, I have build on through this pattern through my life, my head when I'm facing something good, always tries to find a way to make it bad, and even knowing this pattern I never did try to make a difference, until now, because mainly with this great woman it's the first time I ever felt close to something resembling a relationship, with her I went further than everyone else, and we have something precious that it's worth keeping it, that musical thing, which was one of the two reasons for not acting on my feelings, I felt it was more important the music first, but that's not the case at this point. The other is the difference of maturity, she's a couple of years older, a single mom, a victim of an abusive relationship, and had a lot of more baggage in her life that really kinda scared me, I felt not mature enough to try to be of any help or to really be for her.

So yeah, the problem is that I fear so much right now to get close to her again, but my gut feelings say that I have to go forward, even if I'm trying to do a lot of things like meditating, playing music, rehearsing with my other band, and going out every once in a while, I know that I have to reconnect with that woman, it's what I want the most, and I'll do my best to regain that contact.

- Odette: never had exes xD, but my only real female friend is a Pisces, and the ones that I felt attracted were an Aquarius (never again), a Virgo, a Taurus(online, she said I love you, but I froze out after that), a Libra, an Aries with a Capricorn Moon and a Pisces Venus(sorry to remark that, but that's what she has)(she ended up going with one of my best friends, and it caused a lot of damage to my inner circle, luckily we make amends), a Scorpio(she was just 3 weeks older, but I couldn't make the next move) and another cancer that I was interested, but then the actual cancer woman started to get closer and the rest is history. But more or less I did the mind games with basically every women that I was getting close to me, every time that it was becoming romantic I started to do all the crap I did, damaging most of those relationships in the process.

There, I vented some more, the process continues.

posted January 19, 2016 02:18 PM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by misspriss:
Very true!

It's almost like the very fact you are aware of the behavior makes you evolved. No?

---

Well, it's the first step, that's for sure.

posted January 19, 2016 03:26 PM            

The thing I can hope for the most in my own situation is that after I have walked away from his behavior that he comes to the same realisations as you and learns how to help himself. It makes me sad to think of the life he chooses for himself.

I think one of the greatest lessons in life is that life is full of pain. It is unavoidable for it to be so, and avoidance of that pain only creates more pain. This is the way of life. Once we accept it, we learn surrender as Dancing Maenaed says.

The wonderful thing is that those who have loved and lost have a greater capacity to love than others who have lost nothing.

Strength is not in keeping yourself locked in a steel box that no one can penetrate, but rather in finding the courage to be vulnerable.

Wisdom is not in doing the right thing every time, but in learning to face yourself in the mirror and know when you have let yourself down and vow to do better next time.

A few years ago I was abaondoned. My seemingly very loving and devoted fiance literally disappeared from our home and never came back, and after he left he changed overnight into my enemy. Like all care for me and positive regard was removed overnight, and for me that was the most immense pain and suferring of my lifetime.

I lost faith in love for a long time, and in humans, and it was this quite that changed the way I view things completely:

"I thought I loved him but I never knew how much until we began the process of divorce. When someone does everything they can to break you, to scar you, when they seem to take pride in knowing they've destroyed you... You really see the depths of evil a person contains. And yet you still care about them? You still pray for them to find happiness? That's how I know what real love is. And I finally accept that I'm not the problem. The problem is that some people aren't capable of that kind of love. And no matter how much love I feel, I can't fill his empty heart. I will only hurt myself continuing this way. I need to start loving myself the way I loved him."

And that is just true.

Some of us have the capacity to love this way, and some don't. Those who hurt us are no reflection on us and are only the unfortunate ones who lack the capacity to love another person fully.

Most of all...the truth is that finding out "what love really is", comes from inside YOU. That love is there, in you, and learning what real love is will not be from the husband or wife who never leaves you or betrays you -it will be from your OWN capacity to love like that - even in the face of hate and rejection.

this is the greates love we can have in this lifetime, and when you find it, the fear goes away a little.

posted January 20, 2016 01:17 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by misspriss:
How interesting that I am also an older, single mother! Funny that you "unevolved Scorpios" are drawn to older women?

The thing I can hope for the most in my own situation is that after I have walked away from his behavior that he comes to the same realisations as you and learns how to help himself. It makes me sad to think of the life he chooses for himself.

I think one of the greatest lessons in life is that life is full of pain. It is unavoidable for it to be so, and avoidance of that pain only creates more pain. This is the way of life. Once we accept it, we learn surrender as Dancing Maenaed says.

The wonderful thing is that those who have loved and lost have a greater capacity to love than others who have lost nothing.

Strength is not in keeping yourself locked in a steel box that no one can penetrate, but rather in finding the courage to be vulnerable.

Wisdom is not in doing the right thing every time, but in learning to face yourself in the mirror and know when you have let yourself down and vow to do better next time.

A few years ago I was abaondoned. My seemingly very loving and devoted fiance literally disappeared from our home and never came back, and after he left he changed overnight into my enemy. Like all care for me and positive regard was removed overnight, and for me that was the most immense pain and suferring of my lifetime.

I lost faith in love for a long time, and in humans, and it was this quite that changed the way I view things completely:

"I thought I loved him but I never knew how much until we began the process of divorce. When someone does everything they can to break you, to scar you, when they seem to take pride in knowing they've destroyed you... You really see the depths of evil a person contains. And yet you still care about them? You still pray for them to find happiness? That's how I know what real love is. And I finally accept that I'm not the problem. The problem is that some people aren't capable of that kind of love. And no matter how much love I feel, I can't fill his empty heart. I will only hurt myself continuing this way. I need to start loving myself the way I loved him."

And that is just true.

Some of us have the capacity to love this way, and some don't. Those who hurt us are no reflection on us and are only the unfortunate ones who lack the capacity to love another person fully.

Most of all...the truth is that finding out "what love really is", comes from inside YOU. That love is there, in you, and learning what real love is will not be from the husband or wife who never leaves you or betrays you -it will be from your OWN capacity to love like that - even in the face of hate and rejection.

this is the greates love we can have in this lifetime, and when you find it, the fear goes away a little.

What can anyone ever take from you once you know that the capacity to love inside yourself is infinite?

---

Beautifully put!

You are so similar to me!

You are a sun in scorpio, with moon in pisces and Leo rising, at what degrees?

I have moon in pisces ruling my 8th, venus and mars in leo in the 8th and saturn plus psyche in scorpio.

In sidereal I have scorpio rising conjunct southnode.

I remmember you looked very leo...do you have any leo placements in sidereal by any chance? Is you sidereal rising also leo or virgo?

Curious. You sound like a soulmate to me.

posted January 20, 2016 05:05 AM            

quote:

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But more or less I did the mind games with basically every women that I was getting close to me, every time that it was becoming romantic I started to do all the crap I did, damaging most of those relationships in the process.

---

Oh wow! Every woman?!
I have some more questions for you then lol

Sorry if I'm overdoing it... But I'm curious.

Do you have mutable signs in your chart, mainly Sagittarius?

Is your Moon in either Taurus, Pisces or Cancer?

And.... do you have any of the following aspects:

Moon square or opposite Mars
Moon square or opposite Pluto

Moon square or opposite Venus

Venus square or opposite Mars
Venus square or opposite Pluto

posted January 20, 2016 05:07 AM            

:edit:

Hmmmm Well this is really interesting from my pov.
There's the South Node conjunct Neptune - and the Aquarius Moon square Pluto... and then your angles in mutable signs, with Pisces ASC...
These could be player-type indications ^

But still having a fixed Sun sign conjunct Pluto (Scorpio) and even Mars in Scorpio.. To me that says - emotionally stable and reliable lol

posted January 20, 2016 09:40 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Vajra:
Odette,
I think there's a difference between proverbial player types who are only into shallow contacts and those who, like LF DX and some other men I've known, due to childhood trauma, have trouble letting anyone come close, and react with panic even though they secretly long for it. That's not being a player, at least as I understand the term. With player, I associate lying, manipulating, and using other people to get one's way; whereas in cases such as this one, the person in question gains nothing from their bad behavior, only more pain - as LF DX described to us in detail. He was not "playing" that Cancer woman, or had others by the side, or made promises he couldn't keep. He was simply unable to let go and unable to let her come near, due to anxiety.

---

I agree with you so much on this. I have been with men who were players and also with men who had attachment anxiety and fear of being close and I do believe they hurt themselves as much as they hurt the ones who love them.

posted January 20, 2016 11:56 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by misspriss:
I am such a beginniner I don't know how to answer those qustions...I am virgo asc.

That's my chart...that wound be wonderful to find a soulmate

---

Wow I am right. Your moon conjuncts my moon by 2d exact. I have moon in pisces at 21d40.

Your IC conjuncts exact my southnode which is in Sag @19d42. Your IC conjuncts my AC and our Ascendants square. ALSO your AC opposes my Moon.

Your Venus conjuncts under 2d my name and your mars conjuncts my adorea. Your Sun conjuncts my Sidereal AC and southnode.

Our suns sextile under 1d. My Saturn in Scorpio is at 2d39 so it conjuncts widely your Venus and squares widely your Mars.

posted January 20, 2016 04:51 PM            

I love that we have a connection!