posted January 24, 2016 07:55 PM            

quote:

---

due to childhood trauma, have trouble letting anyone come close, and react with panic even though they secretly long for it. That's not being a player, at least as I understand the term. With player, I associate lying, manipulating, and using other people to get one's way; whereas in cases such as this one, the person in question gains nothing from their bad behavior, only more pain

---

I've had traumatic experiences myself (the joys of having a Capricorn Moon).. but the reason I relate to Scorpio is that - their way of dealing with trauma is usually by facing up to it, not running.
We all deal in different ways though... I just don't think this behaviour is all that "Scorpio-like" from an astrological pov.
It seems more mutable to me, than fixed.

posted January 24, 2016 09:22 PM            

- RogueReader: Thank you very much, I have in some kind of way, but it's just the beginning, I will work hard for this change to be permanent, cause I'm tired of my old ways, it's time to be different

Sikanda: Vivo en Paraguay, me divago nomas muy bien en ingles, y en esta página por alguna extraña razón nomás es que decidí contar esta experiencia y a través de mi "epifanía" tratar de mostrar lo que somos, con nuestra oscuridad incluida.

Y voy a tratar de hacer lo mejor posible de recobrar la confianza de mi querida amiga canceriana, no voy a rendirme sin pelear hasta que ella sepa la verdad al 100%, que sepa lo importante que ella es para mí, y que sepa que verdaderamente voy a estar para ella, para bien o para mal.

Vajra: Yeah, she's kinda self-conscious in a few things, and I tried to push her, in an artistic way, but unfortunately I realized I didn't on a romantic way, and she's a very beautiful, artistic, very intelligent, sensitive woman, and I couldn't say how much her time with me was important to me, and how valuable of a person she's for me, and it kills me to know that I did something wrong to her, I let my fears take the best out of me with someone as amazing as her, and it's because of that is that I decided to make this necessary change, to not ever do wrong to a woman ever again, and to be better with my relationships in general.

The other irony is when I wanted to make the reunion, she said first that she wanted to write to know how I am and to talk about the band, that turnaround was very painful. And deserved in some kind of way.

And I'm thinking to send this

What was the last time I heard
Your voice that soothed my soul
What were the final words
I said before it went out of control
It was fast, it was painful
Not a thing was said since then
Not an action, not a farewell
We drifted and we haven’t look back

We didn’t fought, or argue at all
We weren’t strangers or foes
We just fell in the games of push and pull
Playing it until the fun stopped
Yet I see you in my dreams
I see you in the newspapers
And through the stories of our friends
And I’m getting insane

I suppress all the needs, the desires
My humanity is at its lowest point
I can’t walk through the streets
Nor to salute our pals from the joint
I withdraw from all the memories
But they turned into nails to my heart
Daily pains, daily remembrances
Of keeping your heart on your sleeve

Everybody warns me that this is wrong
“Why you bring yourself to this suffering”
Said Charlie boy to me last December
“Why you do this treatment to her”
I said, let her be free, she’s fine
Her silence equals mine
That’s all I need to know
Let her be, please, let her go

I went to Tiberius bar for a drink
And I watched a rocker wink
She took me straight to the center
And asked me to share a dance
She reminded me of you in many ways
With her manners and her tricks
After five minutes of that trance
I said, nice moves, but I have to go

Yet you put out those pictures
From the past when things shined
Where it started in the lowlands
As a session with the blues
But I can’t think of a way
To come back and see you
Maybe someday when this feeling ends
I’ll say hello, how are your days

I spoke with Eleanor, she said you’re fine
Living and making moves from here to there
I said she misses me, she said yes
But not as often as you do miss her
She knows I’m a lost case
Drowned in misery, with this silence
But she keeps an open door
When I’m back from hell

The months pass, it’s still the same
Somehow we both know this is for the best
I remained distant, no matter the pain
And now it’s slowly winding down
But I know I have a place
In the corners of your mind
That’s enough for me darling
A window is open when you want to come.

And yeah, I'm planning too to say to our common friend to help me out. The only thing that stopped me from doing something are my fears, now I will fight, I will be consistent, and I will persevere, because I love her, and at the least I want to recover my friend, my musical companion, my dear soulmate and have the chance to enjoy with her again, and to regain her trust, and let her know how dear to me, and how great of a woman she is. I will fight.

I admit that it was my failure to not properly communicate with her about the growing feelings when things were good, even if my gut was shouting "DO IT", I thought the music was enough to sustain this, but I know now it's not, and the other irony is that our first song that we made together was made with the lyrics I wrote about the insant connection I have with her, and the doubts I had for it.
http://proyectodemos.bandcamp.com/track/moonshiners-questions

posted January 24, 2016 09:36 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Vajra:
Hi LF DX,

sorry the meeting didn't happen It is unfortunately possible that the girl quite simply freaked out. Cancer has this unfortunate tendency to be very self-conscious and to always suspect they are not good enough, not pretty enough, not funny enough, not smart enough.... - you name it. Linda Goodman even commented on that in her books and she's right. This means that your previous coldness towards her could have had the effect of shattering her self-confidence as a woman, make her second-guess her attractiveness, and it might take some persistence and consistency on your part to help her overcome this, as Dancing Maenad already pointed out (@DM: I loved that paragraph that Doux Reve quoted as well, btw!)

If you have common friends who can tell you how she feels about you - couldn't you then let them tell her how you feel about her as well? It could not hurt to give her some information on your state of mind and your feelings. Remember, the famous Scorpio mind-games which devastate so many people around here are only so terrible because nothing is ever made explicit, and people are left guessing and second-guessing everything. If you can manage to let her inside your mind just a little - it can even be in the form of a song, or a poem, or a letter, it doesn't have to be said in person - this would already take a lot of possible misunderstandings out of the equation.

---

I think we all have negative automatic thoughts and false beliefs about ourselves that make us feel we are not enough perhaps what is unique to Cancer is that their need to feel safe and secure in a relationship is stronger/highlighted. If you disappear on them or are not there when its crucial for them or they feel they can't turn to you to talk to you when something really bad happens to them, they will take that as a sign you are not right for them.

Emotional connection is crucial to them, they want to hear that you love them and for you to say it FIRST and they want you to show it and they want to feel that they are special to you.

My best friend is a cancer and a few weeks ago I called her to check up on her and it meant so much to her that I reached out to her that day precisely bc she really needed me as two rough things happen that day, I kept thinking of her that day and followed my instincts and reached out.

We met up and I saw her cry for the first time, I was there for her; I am very expressive and naturally show her love verbally and through my actions, she feels safe with me. Not a coincidence that my best friend throughout high school was also a cancer.

That day we met she broke up with her boyfriend and found out some bad news. She was with her boyfriend when she found out the bad news and could not tell him, she did not feel comfortable telling him even though she had been dating him for 6 months or so and that is why she decided to end it. She did tell me and felt comfortable crying in front of me. She felt a lot better after we met and better and better as the week progressed.

Cancers are shy and need a partner who is very expressive and shows them verbally and through actions they are loved and appreciated and that they can let their guard down with you and count on you. They need to feel its ok to show their vulnerable side to you and for that to happen they need to feel secure about you and clear about your feelings for them.

I genuinely love and appreciate my friend a lot so it just comes out naturally that appreciation with how I am around her and what I say around her. I am very instinctual and responsive with her, we always feel SUPER rejuvenated after we hang out together. I told her 'she is like magic and medicine to my soul' and she feels the same way about me.

posted January 24, 2016 09:44 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sikanda:
Hi LD FX, you should take what is happening to you now as an opportunity to learn and grow.
I wish you the best with your Cancer girl, I really do ♡ (I've been in a similar situation before, in which I felt I betrayed or hurt people that are important to me, so I understand you). But even if you couldn't recover her trust and you have to move on, a very valuable lesson would be learned to put you on the right path, so that next time you meet a soulmate you'd know exactly what to do and how to treat her.

---

Well said.

LD, I want you to forgive yourself completely for not dealing with this better and not assign blame to yourself or anyone.

posted January 24, 2016 10:35 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by LF DX:
My lifetime problem is that, I supressed my own need for emotional connection, the thing with this woman is that unfortunately I'm still very emotionally blocked to provide that for her, and I can understand now why she left.

It's kinda hard yet for me Hypatia, cause it really kills me now that I did caused a lot of pain to an already scarred woman, victim of 10 years of an abusive relationship, of a **** that hit her, that neglected his own son, that treated her so badly, and that suffered a lot of **** with him, it causes me a lot of pain that I did that much damage to someone I deeply love, maybe it's for that reason, to prepare myself for the greater love, but I can't give up on this cancer woman, I can't continue with my life until she can know all of this, that she understands that it's not her, it's me, through what I did for her I will change, so I can give and take love, for her, or for the next woman that cames into my life, I trully want her in my life, And I trully want to be in her life, I will put my effort on this, in some kind of way. That's the only thing that will set me free, I can't let it wither this way.

---

posted January 24, 2016 10:39 PM            

------------------
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posted January 25, 2016 03:32 PM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by LF DX:

- 4lifephrases: For the times it felt mutual, that the woman could try a little harder. I must admit, it's stupid, but if some of the girls would have tried some more, I'd open up to them. Gotta admit that I'm kinda passive for a scorpio in love matters.

---

I guess as a Scorpio female, I have lot on my plate and honestly I do not think I need anybody's else drama. I guess I just didn't have it in me as I am really tired and I need to take care of my life. I have a limit on giving and I feel that if somebody is not going to open up then that's that.
However I also feel we never had right circumstances so I don't really blame men for it too.

Good Luck with your girl. Do not give up on hope.

posted January 25, 2016 03:56 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Vajra:
Hi LF DX,

couldn't you then let them tell her how you feel about her as well? It could not hurt to give her some information on your state of mind and your feelings. Remember, the famous Scorpio mind-games which devastate so many people around here are only so terrible because nothing is ever made explicit, and people are left guessing and second-guessing everything. If you can manage to let her inside your mind just a little - it can even be in the form of a song, or a poem, or a letter, it doesn't have to be said in person - this would already take a lot of possible misunderstandings out of the equation.

---

Agree, I would not wait to meet her in person. i would try to write as much as I can to make clear what i feel and why i behave so strangely. when you meet her, all your emotions may compromise your thoughts and you may withdraw without intention, because it is a so much ingrained behavior pattern.. i would write a super long letter, email, poem.. song... you pick it

posted January 25, 2016 04:10 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by LF DX:
Dancing Maenad: That's what it kills me, because in some way, until recently I didn't know how much I have hurt her for my withdrawal, and if I have to pay for it, then I will, but... for a brief period of time it was a necesary thing because she was getting colder towards me, and she even didn't pay attention towards the songs I wrote for our band, and that caused me the natural instinct to be away from her for a while, I didn't really know that it caused a lot of damage to her, cause we didn't properly communicate our emotions for each other when we were together, we talked about everything but ourselves, then we just drifted, and then my fears took over and I couldn't open up until it was enough, but I realize it may be a bit late...

- RogueReader: Thank you very much, I have in some kind of way, but it's just the beginning, I will work hard for this change to be permanent, cause I'm tired of my old ways, it's time to be different

Sikanda: Vivo en Paraguay, me divago nomas muy bien en ingles, y en esta página por alguna extraña razón nomás es que decidí contar esta experiencia y a través de mi "epifanía" tratar de mostrar lo que somos, con nuestra oscuridad incluida.

Y voy a tratar de hacer lo mejor posible de recobrar la confianza de mi querida amiga canceriana, no voy a rendirme sin pelear hasta que ella sepa la verdad al 100%, que sepa lo importante que ella es para mí, y que sepa que verdaderamente voy a estar para ella, para bien o para mal.

Vajra: Yeah, she's kinda self-conscious in a few things, and I tried to push her, in an artistic way, but unfortunately I realized I didn't on a romantic way, and she's a very beautiful, artistic, very intelligent, sensitive woman, and I couldn't say how much her time with me was important to me, and how valuable of a person she's for me, and it kills me to know that I did something wrong to her, I let my fears take the best out of me with someone as amazing as her, and it's because of that is that I decided to make this necessary change, to not ever do wrong to a woman ever again, and to be better with my relationships in general.

The other irony is when I wanted to make the reunion, she said first that she wanted to write to know how I am and to talk about the band, that turnaround was very painful. And deserved in some kind of way.

And I'm thinking to send this

What was the last time I heard
Your voice that soothed my soul
What were the final words
I said before it went out of control
It was fast, it was painful
Not a thing was said since then
Not an action, not a farewell
We drifted and we haven’t look back

We didn’t fought, or argue at all
We weren’t strangers or foes
We just fell in the games of push and pull
Playing it until the fun stopped
Yet I see you in my dreams
I see you in the newspapers
And through the stories of our friends
And I’m getting insane

I suppress all the needs, the desires
My humanity is at its lowest point
I can’t walk through the streets
Nor to salute our pals from the joint
I withdraw from all the memories
But they turned into nails to my heart
Daily pains, daily remembrances
Of keeping your heart on your sleeve

Everybody warns me that this is wrong
“Why you bring yourself to this suffering”
Said Charlie boy to me last December
“Why you do this treatment to her”
I said, let her be free, she’s fine
Her silence equals mine
That’s all I need to know
Let her be, please, let her go

I went to Tiberius bar for a drink
And I watched a rocker wink
She took me straight to the center
And asked me to share a dance
She reminded me of you in many ways
With her manners and her tricks
After five minutes of that trance
I said, nice moves, but I have to go

Yet you put out those pictures
From the past when things shined
Where it started in the lowlands
As a session with the blues
But I can’t think of a way
To come back and see you
Maybe someday when this feeling ends
I’ll say hello, how are your days

I spoke with Eleanor, she said you’re fine
Living and making moves from here to there
I said she misses me, she said yes
But not as often as you do miss her
She knows I’m a lost case
Drowned in misery, with this silence
But she keeps an open door
When I’m back from hell

The months pass, it’s still the same
Somehow we both know this is for the best
I remained distant, no matter the pain
And now it’s slowly winding down
But I know I have a place
In the corners of your mind
That’s enough for me darling
A window is open when you want to come.

And yeah, I'm planning too to say to our common friend to help me out. The only thing that stopped me from doing something are my fears, now I will fight, I will be consistent, and I will persevere, because I love her, and at the least I want to recover my friend, my musical companion, my dear soulmate and have the chance to enjoy with her again, and to regain her trust, and let her know how dear to me, and how great of a woman she is. I will fight.

I admit that it was my failure to not properly communicate with her about the growing feelings when things were good, even if my gut was shouting "DO IT", I thought the music was enough to sustain this, but I know now it's not, and the other irony is that our first song that we made together was made with the lyrics I wrote about the insant connection I have with her, and the doubts I had for it.
http://proyectodemos.bandcamp.com/track/moonshiners-questions

This is what we made with our band, I'm the singer and she's the bass player, on our first rehearsal she did the bassline and I fell in love with her as soon we tried to create this thing, but I wanted to make our band to rock the city, damn, this is hard.

---

posted January 26, 2016 12:10 PM            

And I feel more confortable singing and writing in english than spanish, and that's how it is for me since I started writing and making music, it's simpler with english, spanish is more complex with wording for me, and I don't know why. And yep, that's my voice xD.

4lifephrases: Finally, you asked the big question I was looking for. But before, gotta admit that NEVER, EVER, really tried for a woman, had to put it in caps cause that's the awful truth, I never did have the balls, only when I was emotionally over the top and looking like a desperate creep instead of showing my deepest feelings, I know now more how to be a friend, but I never really gave myself a chance to be a boyfriend, a partner, a man who can caress gently, who can protect her, who can tell her how beautiful and amazing she is, who can give a woman the time of her life, I felt always not worthy, not man enough, not mature enough and so on, I blocked myself the chance for deep and meaningful connections.

Probably the special thing is that with her we were very close, and with her I had the most deep connection I ever had, but that I wasn't able to trully experience it to the fullest because of all the things I have mentioned before, and I can't tell right now that she's the one, but she's all I ever looked for in a woman, beauty, intelligence, an artistic soul, and the common things and the differences to have something meaningful, but the fear of ruining the musical connection, and the maturity difference that I felt I couldn't be right there for her with her problems did a number on me.

posted January 26, 2016 04:29 PM              

I must say there are certain traits in me as a Scorpio woman are just evolving and I know I am not there yet.

I guess I am bit worried about Scorpio Men then. Do they not know what they want ? How is this even possible? They are supposed to know their minds and hearts. Once you desire something you really go for it ! but then again I have Aries Moon so I do tend to cut BS.

If you haven't tried and tested or had bad experiences how would you know which ones are good ones. If woman just chased you long enough and thus you chased her back it doesn't give you any understanding on what good relationship is or should be. OR potential good partner is. I am not suggesting one should have multiple partners but I am suggesting either your first instincts should be good enough to know you are trying to be with right person.

Do you get like confused on whom should I love as there are too many woman chasing you ? Not decide at all. Are you ever spoil for choices or it is just so confusing or too much to just be vulnerable so you don't bother ?

I am really stumped with this friend thing. Are you platonic /sexual ?
Why would you make some woman just friend? What does that even mean to you ?

Receiving love is difficult, I must say.

posted January 28, 2016 10:55 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by 4lifephrases:
LF DX : Thanks for answering.
I wonder what your username mean ?

I must say there are certain traits in me as a Scorpio woman are just evolving and I know I am not there yet.

I guess I am bit worried about Scorpio Men then. Do they not know what they want ? How is this even possible? They are supposed to know their minds and hearts. Once you desire something you really go for it ! but then again I have Aries Moon so I do tend to cut BS.

If you haven't tried and tested or had bad experiences how would you know which ones are good ones. If woman just chased you long enough and thus you chased her back it doesn't give you any understanding on what good relationship is or should be. OR potential good partner is. I am not suggesting one should have multiple partners but I am suggesting either your first instincts should be good enough to know you are trying to be with right person.

Do you get like confused on whom should I love as there are too many woman chasing you ? Not decide at all. Are you ever spoil for choices or it is just so confusing or too much to just be vulnerable so you don't bother ?

I am really stumped with this friend thing. Are you platonic /sexual ?
Why would you make some woman just friend? What does that even mean to you ?

Receiving love is difficult, I must say.

Anyway I think this is how I feel about our Scorp - Scorp relationship
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqIxCtEveG8

---

I can't tell that much for other scorpios, haven't known any, except my own older sister.

2.- The point is that I felt never good enough for them, and I didn't have a real close relationship until the cancer woman, and even then, and even worst, I didn't feel good enough for her even further than what I've felt with most of the women I've felt something

3.- Until last year, I didn't see that I got the attention of many women,, now I see it, it's great and everything, but my focus is for the woman I have feelings, like the attention, but I love to have the attention of the one I want.... But my fear to be vulnerable is so strong that I don't bother

4.- We were mostly platonic, but with an implicit sexual tension that got out sometimes, mostly when we played music together.
And I like to know the woman long enough to really make things further, I like to develop things, getting to know each other, to share things slowly, then as time goes by, then we can make things go on further.
For me the first thing in a relationship is to be friends first, yeah, it would be great to have all the hormones high and all of that, but without a proper base, that will break fast, or that's what I think.

posted January 28, 2016 11:34 AM              

However I am like completely opposite and I sort of know in first few seconds.

I was asked by Scorpio Man to go for a coffee in the night time and refused as he seemed to / just wanted to devour me or I wanted to not sure but nothing good would have come out of it. I don't think he realized how sexy he was coming across.

Crossing the line without rejection and being called pervert that's hard one...lol... I guess you would find your rhythm but I am sure you would need to read girl really well. Pay close attention but I think Scorpio men are gentlemen and caring. Start by holding hands and good night kiss but also what girl expects from a boyfriend. I guess it is also building trust. Know before you sleep where you both are I suppose and what you want.

posted January 28, 2016 03:01 PM            

LF DX...the withdrawal thing...it HURTS! I think someone said to me that if you expect something to fail, you will do things to bring it about.

I think water signs are scared, Scorpio let so much pride and fear get in the way of happiness and it's such....well...a waste of life.

The fear of vulnerability brings so much more misery and pain than the vulnerability itself.

The funny thing is that probably while you are thinking you are "not good enough for her", she is probabyl thinking you don't like her. So the danger of all this fear is that no one ever really knows.

Did you ever see the movie "Remains of The Day?" I am sure that guy was a Scorpio!

After ending things with my Scorpio man two weeks ago, after he withdrew on me AGAIN, he is always contacting me, always asking how my day was, saying he is thinking of me all the time and he wants to meet me next week to discuss our relationship. He is obviously sad, obviously regrets it all but the truth is if I get back together with him he will continue to withdraw and I don't know how to change it. He hurts me...so what do I do? I feel very frustrated that he can't just express what he is feeling and allow himself to be vulnerable.

I hope with your girl that you can just be brave!

Tell her how you feel, what you think of her and even tell her how scared you are - these honest human exchanges are the only way we can achieve intimacy with another person.

It's a waste of life to be stuck in this fear dance.

I am scared of flying (very scared) but I fly because I am MORE scared of missing the opportunity to travel.

I hope somehow you can see love like this.

My Scorpio man wants to come and see me next week to "discuss our breakup" and try and find a way for us to get back together, and honestly, I have no idea how to communicate with him to get through to him. Reading this has been a little helpful to maybe understand the things he might feel.

But sometimes those thoughts..."I am not good enough" and not making an effort / fighting for a girl can just make her feel so rejected.

Life is all about risk!

Rejecting someone first doesn't reduce your chances of rejection...it just removes all your chances for sucess

posted January 28, 2016 03:38 PM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by misspriss:
This is such interesting reading.

LF DX...the withdrawal thing...it HURTS! I think someone said to me that if you expect something to fail, you will do things to bring it about.

I think water signs are scared, Scorpio let so much pride and fear get in the way of happiness and it's such....well...a waste of life.

The fear of vulnerability brings so much more misery and pain than the vulnerability itself.

The funny thing is that probably while you are thinking you are "not good enough for her", she is probabyl thinking you don't like her. So the danger of all this fear is that no one ever really knows.

Did you ever see the movie "Remains of The Day?" I am sure that guy was a Scorpio!

After ending things with my Scorpio man two weeks ago, after he withdrew on me AGAIN, he is always contacting me, always asking how my day was, saying he is thinking of me all the time and he wants to meet me next week to discuss our relationship. He is obviously sad, obviously regrets it all but the truth is if I get back together with him he will continue to withdraw and I don't know how to change it. He hurts me...so what do I do? I feel very frustrated that he can't just express what he is feeling and allow himself to be vulnerable.

I hope with your girl that you can just be brave!

Tell her how you feel, what you think of her and even tell her how scared you are - these honest human exchanges are the only way we can achieve intimacy with another person.

It's a waste of life to be stuck in this fear dance.

I am scared of flying (very scared) but I fly because I am MORE scared of missing the opportunity to travel.

I hope somehow you can see love like this.

My Scorpio man wants to come and see me next week to "discuss our breakup" and try and find a way for us to get back together, and honestly, I have no idea how to communicate with him to get through to him. Reading this has been a little helpful to maybe understand the things he might feel.

But sometimes those thoughts..."I am not good enough" and not making an effort / fighting for a girl can just make her feel so rejected.

Life is all about risk!

Rejecting someone first doesn't reduce your chances of rejection...it just removes all your chances for sucess

xx

---

I am really glad he is chasing you. Good Luck ! Hope something good comes out. I wish you tell him what exactly you want. i.e.
1) He can run away if he is scared.He should always inform you when he is coming back.
2) If he has things to do just say that and not just be rubbish at communication.

posted January 29, 2016 01:52 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by 4lifephrases:
Thank you that helps so much so basically scorpio men like to take things slowly. Get to know people and has lots of fears. OK that's fine ! That is bit like how I feel where Scorpio I am thinking about is.

---

In my experience this only applies to scorpios who have Moon in hard aspect to Saturn.

My ex and I got involved in a committed relationship less than a month after we met, he gave me a card that said 'I love you/Te Amo' with a boomerang in it, he said it took him hours to find that card at the store as he wanted to find the perfect card and there was a message in it he wrote along the lines of whatever you give I will give back times 3....

We talked about marriage too probably around close to 6 months into the relationship....

I dont feel scorpios take it slow, if they like you and you fulfill them emotionally and physically they will go for it full on with their heart on their sleeve...He had scorpio with moon in pisces and his moon is not afflicted:

His Moon has:
Moon in Pisces (so do I)
Moon trine Sun 9d
Moon biquintile Venus
Moon square Neptune (so do I)
Moon biquintile Pluto (so do I)

Now any sign with moon and or venus in hard aspect to saturn or and saturn rising will be guarded, will take it slow and will have a lot of fears and issues with trusting and letting themselves fall in love as well as insecurities.

posted January 29, 2016 05:00 AM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by hypatia238:
In my experience this only applies to scorpios who have Moon in hard aspect to Saturn.

My ex and I got involved in a committed relationship less than a month after we met, he gave me a card that said 'I love you/Te Amo' with a boomerang in it, he said it took him hours to find that card at the store as he wanted to find the perfect card and there was a message in it he wrote along the lines of whatever you give I will give back times 3....

We talked about marriage too probably around close to 6 months into the relationship....

I dont feel scorpios take it slow, if they like you and you fulfill them emotionally and physically they will go for it full on with their heart on their sleeve...He had scorpio with moon in pisces and his moon is not afflicted:

His Moon has:
Moon in Pisces (so do I)
Moon trine Sun 9d
Moon biquintile Venus
Moon square Neptune (so do I)
Moon biquintile Pluto (so do I)

Now any sign with moon and or venus in hard aspect to saturn or and saturn rising will be guarded, will take it slow and will have a lot of fears and issues with trusting and letting themselves fall in love as well as insecurities.

LF DX had a rough childhood so he developed a world schema that 'the world is not safe and can't be trusted' creating an 'avoidant attachment style' but he is clearly in the process of turning this around and in an instinctual level felt this was the perfect girl to heal with specially considering she has healing work to do herself; not a coincidence she is a cancer IMO, cancers make you feel safe, secure and accepted something he lacked growing up.

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posted January 29, 2016 05:52 AM            

But this is just an appearance...

Behind the scenes, the person has gone through a LONG mental checklist before I get to that point and while I appear to be "all in", there is always something else going on and being held back.

The phases of bonding can happen quite quickly - like quite a fast sense of falling in love, but the proper, deeper level secure bonding / trust and security actually happens very slowly for me - perhaps months of years with a series of testing behaviors.

posted January 29, 2016 03:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by misspriss:
I am one of those Scorpios who you'd perhaps look at from the outside and say "she doesn't take it slow"

But this is just an appearance...

Behind the scenes, the person has gone through a LONG mental checklist before I get to that point and while I appear to be "all in", there is always something else going on and being held back.

The phases of bonding can happen quite quickly - like quite a fast sense of falling in love, but the proper, deeper level secure bonding / trust and security actually happens very slowly for me - perhaps months of years with a series of testing behaviors.

So I appear to be impulsive with love, but actually am not at all!

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This, I couldn't say this better than you.

I know my fears ruined many things in my life, but this is how I would operate if I wasn't that insecure, I love more knowing the woman in question, and let things flow, the trust and deep bonding take some time to develop, and unfortunately, myself and my fears, and the women could never try to make this way to happen.

One of the things I'm realizing is how vulnerability can really make you bond with other people, as I told my stories to two lady friends, one who wasn't that close, and other a friend that we had a fight a long time ago, had make them close to me, in a deep way, with this I don't mean I will do anything more with these two girls, but the power of opening did a great thing for me and these people.

I now need to apply this to the cancer woman, she's the only one that I can't quite try to approach her, all the things I'm trying to do when I think to go to her, it all gets blocked, I need to figure it out how to use this new power to reach her, because I know now that with saying some of these things, we can really get back in track again.

And I'm very glad for you misspriss, hope things can work out this time, but always keep an eye on him, and for yourself, to not fall again for his turnarounds.

posted January 29, 2016 06:40 PM            

In my case he has none of your awareness yet -or not on the same level and I have no hope at all that we can work it out.

I know part of him wants to, but he's not got enough awareness and I am tired from the fight, the rejection and from being pushed away.

I am not sure if I will even meet him or not!

If I do..in a month I have no doubt it will all fall apart again.

posted January 31, 2016 12:25 PM            

Yesterday, it finally happened, the long awaited reunion, and finally found out that yeah, she's been dating just recently, with a man who's very identical to me , musician, a computer engineer, bassist, but he's 36 years old, and has a good car.

It was awkward as hell, but dunno how I did it, and how I handle it quite well, I ended up talking a lot to her boyfriend, we became buddies even, the good is that she still wants to play with me, so, it's something.

I will tell more of what happened yesterday later on, I still need to process this, glad it's all over, but I'm ****** , kinda sad, but it will pass.