posted December 16, 2018 10:35 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dumuzi:
@Aries23

this will sound ****** i guess, but i know what that guy meant about too many feelings being a turn off

my fiancee has a lot of feelings and can be like an emotional rollercoaster which i don't find offputting when it's her for some reason because id go through hell with her and wouldnt break the promises ive made her

but anyone else when they start having too many intense or difficult to deal with feelings i tend to lose interest even if i like them otherwise

i really did love our ex (only other person ive hooked up with that i had romantic feelings towards), but then she just became too erratic and it became mind numbing and i stopped wanting to deal with her (as shallow as it sounds, if i had been more physically attracted to her this probably wouldnt have happened as quickly) and she had too much going on with her having kids and whatnot

i'm fine with kids that's not a dealbreaker for me, but their father already hated me because he saw my chart when she read it and decided she was going to cheat with me (she did) so that didnt help

but ultimately she just had too many feelings and half of them were excessive for me

sometimes she'd be hysterical over i don't even know what and i'd just stop listening altogether, and id avoid her sometimes too if i knew id just be getting bitched at

i want to have fun not deal with a bunch of **** and some people just always have **** to unload and that gets old and kills things for me

---

I hear you. Emotional intensity is a no go area with Venus-Uranus. They need to be emotionally free. I get that. Emotional clutter drives them bonkers. I feel the same.

On the other hand however, I do think that it borders loosely on emotional retardation in his case. In that on the one hand he would claim to miss me when you are gone. But resent me when I am close.

I wanted to get close to get to know him. Not to "crowd" him. And when he backed away. My feelings for him sobered up. Because I realised that he does not want to get close enough to be my lover. But insists that I act as if we are close as lovers are when in public or with friends etc.

The last he called I was from work and he asked what I was up to. And I said I was doing fine. Just minding my own.Then he said he wanted to come and sleep over.

I treated him very casually and declined. Said that it was late and I was waking up early etc. And he said that it hurt that my tone was less affectionate hand more platonic. But that he understood.

Then there was a very long pause during the phone call, before I said "well, it was great hearing from you. You take care of yourself. Bye!" To which he then responded by texting that I had wiped him off my heart.

It very confusing. And I just can't play that anymore. Aqua/Uranus energy on Venus can be very confusing: fantastic as friends. Terrible as lovers for me.

But to each his own though because it seems to be a pattern with him. He and his new love are on/off,up/down etc. And he(the new boyfriend) is perplexed with the stoicism and the disappearing acts. But tolerates it.

I empathize with him. I really do. But I am okay with never being in that place again. Lol. Drove me nuts.

I think of Madonna's "Miles away" song when I remember him: "You always have the biggest heart. When we're six thousand miles apart."

posted December 16, 2018 11:49 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
I hear you. Emotional intensity is a no go area with Venus-Uranus. They need to be emotionally free. I get that. Emotional clutter drives them bonkers. I feel the same.

On the other hand however, I do think that it borders loosely on emotional retardation in his case. In that on the one hand he would claim to miss me when you are gone. But resent me when I am close.

I wanted to get close to get to know him. Not to "crowd" him. And when he backed away. My feelings for him sobered up. Because I realised that he does not want to get close enough to be my lover. But insists that I act as if we are close as lovers are when in public or with friends etc.

The last he called I was from work and he asked what I was up to. And I said I was doing fine. Just minding my own.Then he said he wanted to come and sleep over.

I treated him very casually and declined. Said that it was late and I was waking up early etc. And he said that it hurt that my tone was less affectionate hand more platonic. But that he understood.

Then there was a very long pause during the phone call, before I said "well, it was great hearing from you. You take care of yourself. Bye!" To which he then responded by texting that I had wiped him off my heart.

It very confusing. And I just can't play that anymore. Aqua/Uranus energy on Venus can be very confusing: fantastic as friends. Terrible as lovers for me.

But to each his own though because it seems to be a pattern with him. He and his new love are on/off,up/down etc. And he(the new boyfriend) is perplexed with the stoicism and the disappearing acts. But tolerates it.

I empathize with him. I really do. But I am okay with never being in that place again. Lol. Drove me nuts.

I think of Madonna's "Miles away" song when I remember him: "You always have the biggest heart. When we're six thousand miles apart."

---

posted December 16, 2018 11:51 AM            

he has really deep and passionate feelings,

perhaps it's his moon/pluto conjunction

I also have a lot of uranus aspecting personal and outer planets in my chart, plus an aquarius descendant and I can't even get my head around the idea of open relationships

I can't have feelings for two people at the same time

and can't have sex without feelings for someone

posted December 16, 2018 12:01 PM            

with no venus or moon aspects to pluto

also an aqua DC, he was never into anything open...very exclusively invested only in me, even when I showed some need for space he did not seem to understand why!

I don't think everybody with this aspect is into open relationships

mostly you'd have to check the status of a person's jupiter to see if they're capable of going with open relationships

posted December 16, 2018 12:05 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
I hear you. Emotional intensity is a no go area with Venus-Uranus. They need to be emotionally free. I get that. Emotional clutter drives them bonkers. I feel the same.

On the other hand however, I do think that it borders loosely on emotional retardation in his case. In that on the one hand he would claim to miss me when you are gone. But resent me when I am close.

I wanted to get close to get to know him. Not to "crowd" him. And when he backed away. My feelings for him sobered up. Because I realised that he does not want to get close enough to be my lover. But insists that I act as if we are close as lovers are when in public or with friends etc.

The last he called I was from work and he asked what I was up to. And I said I was doing fine. Just minding my own.Then he said he wanted to come and sleep over.

I treated him very casually and declined. Said that it was late and I was waking up early etc. And he said that it hurt that my tone was less affectionate hand more platonic. But that he understood.

Then there was a very long pause during the phone call, before I said "well, it was great hearing from you. You take care of yourself. Bye!" To which he then responded by texting that I had wiped him off my heart.

It very confusing. And I just can't play that anymore. Aqua/Uranus energy on Venus can be very confusing: fantastic as friends. Terrible as lovers for me.

But to each his own though because it seems to be a pattern with him. He and his new love are on/off,up/down etc. And he(the new boyfriend) is perplexed with the stoicism and the disappearing acts. But tolerates it.

I empathize with him. I really do. But I am okay with never being in that place again. Lol. Drove me nuts.

I think of Madonna's "Miles away" song when I remember him: "You always have the biggest heart. When we're six thousand miles apart."

---

Interesting! I can totally see his venus in scorpio in conflict with his venus conjunct uranus playing out in relationships...

I also can understand why he felt deeply loved by you with moon in cancer and venus in scorpio...

Venus in hard aspect to Uranus with either ruling the 7th seems to manifest as avoidant attachment style, I dont like to date people with this issue, it is exhausting and gets old...

posted December 16, 2018 12:18 PM            

Nobody can deal with that long term bc that is not healthy and is not a secure attachment and the whole point of been in a relationship is to feel accepted, secure and like the other is not just going to walk away and abandon you at the first drop of trouble.

posted December 16, 2018 01:51 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by girlwiththerainysoul:
dated another guy for over a year who had venus conjunct uranus, mercury and neptune

with no venus or moon aspects to pluto

also an aqua DC, he was never into anything open...very exclusively invested only in me, even when I showed some need for space he did not seem to understand why!

I don't think everybody with this aspect is into open relationships

mostly you'd have to check the status of a person's jupiter to see if they're capable of going with open relationships

was with a pisces guy with venus aquarius on the hand, and he was majorly into open relationships..venus square moon/pluto and opposite mars..I left as soon as he began showing his player nature

---

posted December 16, 2018 01:57 PM            

usually there's a venus/saturn and/or mars/saturn aspect as well in addition to venus/uranus and a jupiter with those conditions

posted December 16, 2018 01:57 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by hypatia238:
[b]

---

Nobody can deal with that long term bc that is not healthy and is not a secure attachment and the whole point of been in a relationship is to feel accepted, secure and like the other is not just going to walk away and abandon you at the first drop of trouble.

Why would you stick around to be with someone who is not reliable? That is a bad investment and it gets old quickly, you want someone who has staying power, who you can grow old with, who doesn't disappear when things fall apart or get scary, if you are not that person in my eyes all you are good for is a good time which is fine, I can appreciate you as a lover for a few months but I wont build a future with someone like that or destroy something solid I have with someone for someone like that.[/B][/QUOTE]

posted December 16, 2018 02:19 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by hypatia238:

Nobody can deal with that long term bc that is not healthy and is not a secure attachment and the whole point of been in a relationship is to feel accepted, secure and like the other is not just going to walk away and abandon you at the first drop of trouble.

Why would you stick around to be with someone who is not reliable? That is a bad investment and it gets old quickly, you want someone who has staying power, who you can grow old with, who doesn't disappear when things fall apart or get scary, if you are not that person in my eyes all you are good for is a good time which is fine, I can appreciate you as a lover for a few months but I wont build a future with someone like that or destroy something solid I have with someone for someone like that.[/B]

---

I agree with this statement

also there's a difference between leaving and disappearing

every day people leave relationships which are of no use anymore, and not all of those people have venus/uranus

the important thing here is to give the other person some sort of closure as to why you are leaving

posted December 16, 2018 03:36 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dumuzi:
@Aries23

this will sound ****** i guess, but i know what that guy meant about too many feelings being a turn off

my fiancee has a lot of feelings and can be like an emotional rollercoaster which i don't find offputting when it's her for some reason because id go through hell with her and wouldnt break the promises ive made her

but anyone else when they start having too many intense or difficult to deal with feelings i tend to lose interest even if i like them otherwise

---

posted December 16, 2018 06:06 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Brenda_S:
True, although my fifth house ruler (Venus) opposes Uranus and seventh house ruler sits in my third. For the most part I get turned off by emotional people. But something makes me believe that the person I really like I wouldn't necessarily mind it from.

Which is why I'm wondering, if I do get turned off by someone's emotions, if it means something more serious than the simple fact that it's just a 'new' interaction so to speak. Or if it's something deeper and I'll just never like to be emotionally involved with that person at all.

---

posted December 16, 2018 06:22 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by girlwiththerainysoul:
I agree with this statement

also there's a difference between leaving and disappearing

every day people leave relationships which are of no use anymore, and not all of those people have venus/uranus

the important thing here is to give the other person some sort of closure as to why you are leaving

if you disappear on somebody on the other hand, without feeling the need to explain, you are hurting another person, deliberately or without intention, and the same will happen to you...I have seen it many times, frequently happens to men/women who are players; soon they fall for somebody and decide to finally commit and then that person disappears on them right when they're feeling safe in a relationship

---

posted December 16, 2018 06:23 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by hypatia238:
Well do you have other things falling in the 8th house or 4th house? which would hint a part of you also craves that deeper more emotional connection so it would mean you have two sides of you that finds different things attractive...

---

Uranus and Neptune (conjunct) fall in my eighth being ruled by Saturn which falls in my ninth.
Fourth house is empty with its' ruler (sun) in my twelfth.

Also, would an aspect from Uranus in the eighth... Like would it make Uranus more intense or would Uranus dampen the eighth house intenseness - especially with its' ruler being Saturn?

posted December 16, 2018 07:16 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by girlwiththerainysoul:
I agree with this statement

also there's a difference between leaving and disappearing

every day people leave relationships which are of no use anymore, and not all of those people have venus/uranus

the important thing here is to give the other person some sort of closure as to why you are leaving

if you disappear on somebody on the other hand, without feeling the need to explain, you are hurting another person, deliberately or without intention, and the same will happen to you...I have seen it many times, frequently happens to men/women who are players; soon they fall for somebody and decide to finally commit and then that person disappears on them right when they're feeling safe in a relationship

---

posted December 16, 2018 08:36 PM            

the way i think it manifests for me is the intellectual aspect. i like to discuss ideas with my partner...(although that could be gemini mars as well)...
also it makes me want to be friends most importantly with my lovers. i don't like ppl being too sappy?
i like what i can't have ...but that could be venus aries...

posted December 16, 2018 09:49 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by charlie:
I have Venus/Uranus and also Venus/Saturn. I’m a little bit peculiar in the way that I burn hard and fast and can keep going for YEARS at the same pace, until one day I simply feel nothing. The feeling of “nothing” is not something that grows on me or builds up over a period of time. I can literally just wake up and feel nothing for the person I used to love at which point I’ll simply switch to friend-mode. It seems I have no normal zone between loving hard and not loving at all :-/

Boredom for me comes with feeling restricted in the way I act/think/dress and generally express myself. I can be really goofy and say some crazy sh1t but I know about myself that I can be this way because what’s right and wrong is deeply ingrained in me and therefore I feel secure exploring...crazy sh1t, and talk about it. At the end of the day I’ll do what’s right anyway so why put a damper on me??

---

If you don’t mind me asking, what aspects in particular does your Venus make to your Saturn & Uranus? Are they difficult ones? How are your 5th & 7th houses?

posted December 16, 2018 10:06 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by charlie:
I have Venus/Uranus and also Venus/Saturn. I’m a little bit peculiar in the way that I burn hard and fast and can keep going for YEARS at the same pace, until one day I simply feel nothing. The feeling of “nothing” is not something that grows on me or builds up over a period of time. I can literally just wake up and feel nothing for the person I used to love at which point I’ll simply switch to friend-mode. It seems I have no normal zone between loving hard and not loving at all :-/

Boredom for me comes with feeling restricted in the way I act/think/dress and generally express myself. I can be really goofy and say some crazy sh1t but I know about myself that I can be this way because what’s right and wrong is deeply ingrained in me and therefore I feel secure exploring...crazy sh1t, and talk about it. At the end of the day I’ll do what’s right anyway so why put a damper on me??

---

If you don’t mind me asking, what aspects in particular does your Venus make to your Saturn & Uranus? Are they difficult ones? How are your 5th & 7th houses?

posted December 16, 2018 10:29 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Brenda_S:
If you don't mind me asking, since you're there for a while now lol. I know the feeling of not being into someone hence being put off by their emotions. So curious how it was for you from the get go with your fiancee? Like if it's just a beginner phase thingy or if it says something about the relationship with that person as a whole and will never change. (the being put off by someone's emotions part)

---

before i started dating her i loved her so much that i wouldnt have asked her out tbh

i didnt want to **** anything up and i knew that me dating her was a deep commitment, and it only ended up happening because we occasionally couldnt keep our hands off each other (and then just wouldnt talk about it, not going far but it was all very intimate) and then she told me she loved me

i actually turned her down and then asked her out a few months later when a bunch of guys hit on her and i realized that she said no to all of them, but that was only going to last so long

i told her from the beginning i was probably going to want to **** around with other people one day and asked if that was ok

that was actually how i told her i wanted to date her

i told her i'd always be loyal to her but that i would probably want that and if that wasnt ok then it was ok but i did love her

i havent necessarily felt that with anyone else, but i also tend to keep the same people around for a while even when it's not serious

i dont want to live with them or share my life with them like that but if we're cool with each other and nothing is going on in our lives otherwise that makes it not an option why not?

posted December 16, 2018 10:36 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
The distance just doesn't bother me We message each other every day though. I don't know I guess everyone is different. He doesn't want to live with anyone. He likes being to himself most of the time. He's a free spirit and likes to travel and be on the road a lot.

No way would I have been able to have someone else being involved with my ex. He wouldn't have allowed it. You are lucky to have found someone who doesn't mind.

I do talk to someone else that lives where I live. We've been messaging each other for awhile. We talk once a week sometimes every two weeks or once a month. We haven't actually been out yet. He seems ok with being friends with benefits but I don't know. I hope so because I don't want to stop seeing the other guy. He doesn't have Venus/Uranus in his chart but he does have Sun/Uranus. It depends on the synastry you have with the person too though. A person might be carefree on their own. But they could have synastry aspects that could make them want to have something serious with that person.

---

i don't mind it when people are distant if there's a few people because that's whatever, i just meant as an actually deeply interested sort of thing that doesn't work for me

i would **** around with someone like that and be fine with it, but i'd probably want a lot extra on the side then

posted December 16, 2018 10:57 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
I hear you. Emotional intensity is a no go area with Venus-Uranus. They need to be emotionally free. I get that. Emotional clutter drives them bonkers. I feel the same.

On the other hand however, I do think that it borders loosely on emotional retardation in his case. In that on the one hand he would claim to miss me when you are gone. But resent me when I am close.

I wanted to get close to get to know him. Not to "crowd" him. And when he backed away. My feelings for him sobered up. Because I realised that he does not want to get close enough to be my lover. But insists that I act as if we are close as lovers are when in public or with friends etc.

The last he called I was from work and he asked what I was up to. And I said I was doing fine. Just minding my own.Then he said he wanted to come and sleep over.

I treated him very casually and declined. Said that it was late and I was waking up early etc. And he said that it hurt that my tone was less affectionate hand more platonic. But that he understood.

Then there was a very long pause during the phone call, before I said "well, it was great hearing from you. You take care of yourself. Bye!" To which he then responded by texting that I had wiped him off my heart.

It very confusing. And I just can't play that anymore. Aqua/Uranus energy on Venus can be very confusing: fantastic as friends. Terrible as lovers for me.

But to each his own though because it seems to be a pattern with him. He and his new love are on/off,up/down etc. And he(the new boyfriend) is perplexed with the stoicism and the disappearing acts. But tolerates it.

I empathize with him. I really do. But I am okay with never being in that place again. Lol. Drove me nuts.

I think of Madonna's "Miles away" song when I remember him: "You always have the biggest heart. When we're six thousand miles apart."

---

i like intensity at least for a little while, but there's a point where i'm just done with a lot of people

i lose touch with people a lot for long periods of time too, we'll talk all the time and then life just happens and i'll turn up eventually again

me being gone has nothing to do with caring if i am

i can actually only think of one person ive gotten bored with after a long time, but i told her the truth about it and i check in occasionally to let her know im not dead because she worries otherwise and i feel bad even though i dont really feel like i can talk to her anymore

it's a lot of things, but it's become boredom through me not feeling like i can be close to her anymore and her new relationship meaning we cant have sex ever either

i liked her better single and with her first husband and also before i dropped away from everything after a bunch of **** with heroin and life and other people

kills it completely

we got along both really terribly and really well for 16 years, she's dying and i feel like a ******* because i'm not around but i don't actually know how to be anyway and don't want to

just feel guilt and that seems like a bad reason to stick around talking to someone when you've been upfront about that sort of thing anyway

i could understand why you wouldnt want to deal with that sort of thing, im guilty of some of that myself

never heard that song

posted December 16, 2018 11:19 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Brenda_S:
Uranus and Neptune (conjunct) fall in my eighth being ruled by Saturn which falls in my ninth.
Fourth house is empty with its' ruler (sun) in my twelfth.

Also, would an aspect from Uranus in the eighth... Like would it make Uranus more intense or would Uranus dampen the eighth house intenseness - especially with its' ruler being Saturn?

It would explain a lot of things if the latter, since I don't necessarily feel 'passionate' about people's planets falling in my eighth.

---

posted December 16, 2018 11:34 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dumuzi:
before i started dating her i loved her so much that i wouldnt have asked her out tbh

i didnt want to **** anything up and i knew that me dating her was a deep commitment, and it only ended up happening because we occasionally couldnt keep our hands off each other (and then just wouldnt talk about it, not going far but it was all very intimate) and then she told me she loved me

i actually turned her down and then asked her out a few months later when a bunch of guys hit on her and i realized that she said no to all of them, but that was only going to last so long

i told her from the beginning i was probably going to want to **** around with other people one day and asked if that was ok

that was actually how i told her i wanted to date her

i told her i'd always be loyal to her but that i would probably want that and if that wasnt ok then it was ok but i did love her

i havent necessarily felt that with anyone else, but i also tend to keep the same people around for a while even when it's not serious

i dont want to live with them or share my life with them like that but if we're cool with each other and nothing is going on in our lives otherwise that makes it not an option why not?

---