posted June 27, 2019 05:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
@teasal

Mars in Pisces are usually very charming and attractive, I just feel they don't tend to pursue, they need to be pursued.

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I was agreeing, I just met my limit with the guy I mentioned. I used to be such a romantic, still am, really. I just don't tap into those feelings much at the moment. He had Venus in Pisces, Sun conjunct Moon in Taurus. I don't really want to get into it, but I had the strongest feelings for him, for a long while. And then I hated him for a decade. The composite description actually fit: we could either be really sweet together, or really bitter.

posted June 27, 2019 05:55 PM            

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Originally posted by MoonsOfJupiter:

Just wanted to clarify if this was a response to Hypathia or I?

If for me: I assumed the same at some point (he just doesn't like me - ok cool). Accepted it as platonic friendship with some chemistry on the side and let it go.

But here we are, almost a year later. I am not exaggerating, he texts all day. ALL. DAY. When we hang, he never flippin' wants to leave. Holds my hand. Hugs me. Plays 'couple' pretend.

Could just be games, but I feel like he's playing house.

I am trying to be without agenda, but dude...

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Plays 'couple' pretend? Then you do need to express yourself, and get it over with. If it were him posting this, on a relationship board I used to visit, a lot of guys would be telling him that he was being used emotionally, until the girl met someone that she wanted to really be with, fully.

posted June 27, 2019 07:31 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
Plays 'couple' pretend? Then you do need to express yourself, and get it over with. If it were him posting this, on a relationship board I used to visit, a lot of guys would be telling him that he was being used emotionally, until the girl met someone that she wanted to really be with, fully.

How old is he?

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OK, this is some golden insight. Thanks dude (or dudette). Empathized with your 'fed up' moment there. I think mine is nigh - figured I'd post here before pulling the trigger - ha. He is 33.

These things are silly as balls at our age. Accommodating him at every stage, flirting my @$$ off, never not returning hugs or affections...if he is still wondering if I'm into him, he may actually just be a dummy (which incidentally may be my answer).

You also said: "I think the OP is going to have to state her feelings at some point, because I don't know if a friendship is possible, as long as she's wanting to jump him. I know and love the sweet interactions, and the wondering, but it's better to get the wondering over with pretty soon."

You right. I shall report back.

posted June 27, 2019 11:30 PM            

It's difficult for Venus in Virgo (I have this placement) because we DO want to define things. We want to know where we stand with that other person.

Maybe it shouldn't be about where we stand, but instead who we're standing with.

posted June 28, 2019 12:47 AM            

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Originally posted by StubbornVirgo:
I've noticed that Venus in Scorpio is usually very guarded and they're not quick to define a relationship, but rather take it easy and see where it goes.

It's difficult for Venus in Virgo (I have this placement) because we DO want to define things. We want to know where we stand with that other person.

Maybe it shouldn't be about where we stand, but instead who we're standing with.

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My mum was a Venus in Scorpio, and she liked to define it. She was impulsive. and jumped right in, if the feelings were there.

I just think it's driving her mad, *she* needs for something to change. I can understand hesitancy, and insecurity, but not "playing pretend couple" at the age of 33. I'm not saying that she has to clobber him with it, but I was looking back through old emails - when this guy disappeared on me for a while, and contacted me again, just as I was getting used to not hearing from him, and feeling okay about it. Then several months later, he started to open up more, to ask questions about what was important to me, and so on, I'm not going to say anything further about that, because to put it lightly: he really managed to push me away, later on in the year.

I was loyal, acted like a cheerleader for him, basically built him up, and I thought we were getting closer, and I'm going to cut it short there, because it will make me emotional, and it's in the past. He emailed me recently, and I didn't read it, because I only remember pain from our interactions, after a certain point. I don't trust him.

posted June 28, 2019 12:55 AM            

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Originally posted by MoonsOfJupiter:
OK, this is some golden insight. Thanks dude (or dudette). Empathized with your 'fed up' moment there. I think mine is nigh - figured I'd post here before pulling the trigger - ha. He is 33.

These things are silly as balls at our age. Accommodating him at every stage, flirting my @$$ off, never not returning hugs or affections...if he is still wondering if I'm into him, he may actually just be a dummy (which incidentally may be my answer).

You also said: "I think the OP is going to have to state her feelings at some point, because I don't know if a friendship is possible, as long as she's wanting to jump him. I know and love the sweet interactions, and the wondering, but it's better to get the wondering over with pretty soon."

You right. I shall report back.

All the intel here is just damn priceless.

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I'm a dudette. I won't tell you what to do - you know this guy, I don't. I just wish that I'd sorted things out sooner with the guy I mentioned, because my feelings were all over the place, and I didn't know if he was playing games, or was genuinely clueless.

posted June 28, 2019 06:34 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by StubbornVirgo:
I've noticed that Venus in Scorpio is usually very guarded and they're not quick to define a relationship, but rather take it easy and see where it goes.

It's difficult for Venus in Virgo (I have this placement) because we DO want to define things. We want to know where we stand with that other person.

Maybe it shouldn't be about where we stand, but instead who we're standing with.

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Well dang, thank you! - you know, there is that, for sure.
A Tarot reader said to me (and this may be helpful to some) - that this type of thing needs to be approached without AGENDA. Which is easier said than done, but worth practicing. Enjoy the moment with the person, etc.

posted June 28, 2019 06:37 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
Tbf I dont think that is because they are afraid of defining a relationship, is more like they are afraid of getting attached and getting hurt. Like they are worried the death of the connection will destroy them unconsciously, there is a lot of anxiety around attachment.

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I didn't say that they're *afraid* to define it. I said that they're not *quick* to define it. There's a difference. I don't associate Scorpio with fear at all. And 99% percent of the time I think they've already defined it for themselves. They just haven't told their partner yet.

posted June 28, 2019 06:40 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
My mum was a Venus in Scorpio, and she liked to define it. She was impulsive. and jumped right in, if the feelings were there.

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My mom has this placement too, and she acted similarly with 2 marriages. But I do think women behave differently than men with this placement. The men that I have known, do not want to define it. That's just been my experience.

posted June 28, 2019 06:42 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
I'm a dudette. I won't tell you what to do - you know this guy, I don't. I just wish that I'd sorted things out sooner with the guy I mentioned, because my feelings were all over the place, and I didn't know if he was playing games, or was genuinely clueless.

I remember one of the times I found him most attractive, was when I was upset about something, and he asked me what he could do to fix it. What I needed from him. Just like that, there were no games, and I felt like he actually cared, and wanted to make things better. Suddenly, he was an adult man, right there. I just really can't stand games.

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Teasel - dudette! This is a response to BOTH your posts (I just don't know how to quote both, cause I'm a forum dummy).

I laughed when I read "clobber him".

I didn't laugh, however, when reading about your old situation, which sounds really painful to hash out for the purpose of a stupid forum post, so protect yer heart. V helpful to read, however, so I appreciate it.

I will say one thing: this dude is not a "disappearer", which is what makes it all the more befuddling. Like - go and act like a f***boi dude, that language I understand, do some sh*t that will make it clear you're trash, do that whole Pisces disappearing act, be a psychotic Virgo character, DO SOMETHING! Ha. But this couplehood role-play biz for almost a year is just kind of past the point of funny. z

Snoozville. At the end to the day, I'll be the one taking matters into my own hands, I'm ok with that now. Shrug. Hopefully that act itself doesn't kill my attraction for him. Or hopefully it does.

posted June 28, 2019 06:46 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by StubbornVirgo:
My mom has this placement too, and she acted similarly with 2 marriages. But I do think women behave differently than men with this placement. The men that I have known, do not want to define it. That's just been my experience.

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Why does this happen in Astrology? Men and women displaying the opposite character of its sign, when it comes to Mars and Venus placements. One would THINK that a Venus Scorpio man would be even more determined and pronounced in matters of love.

posted June 28, 2019 09:54 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MoonsOfJupiter:
Why does this happen in Astrology? Men and women displaying the opposite character of its sign, when it comes to Mars and Venus placements. One would THINK that a Venus Scorpio man would be even more determined and pronounced in matters of love.

I was reading the same about Mars placements. Eg I have Mars Cancer, a weak position for Mars obviously, but apparently endows a woman's character with a lot more strength than a man with a Moon Mars. I suppose it's more comfortable for the female to own this energy? V fascinating.

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Until men "own" their feminine traits and express their masculine side etc. There will always be challenges.

I find Sun in Cancer men so "macho"-acting i.e Brock Lesnar, 50 cent, Vin Diesel. I don't know whether that is to disguise their sensitive nature or something.

If a guy has Mars in 4th or in Cancer and does not devote the energy towards domestic pursuits.He may come off as irritable around others,hypersensitive- leading to physical fights etc. They need to learn to express their maternal side without self-recrimination.

Mars in Aries or Mars in 1st house women must learn to own their own assertion & not expect another to fulfill that role for them. Worrying too much about "looking" feminine can trip them up & zap their confidence in going after what they truly want.

posted June 28, 2019 11:25 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:

Mars in Aries or Mars in 1st house women must learn to own their own assertion & not expect another to fulfill that role for them. Worrying too much about "looking" feminine can trip them up & zap their confidence in going after what they truly want.

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My goodness, I feel seen.

Do you mind sharing more about this?

Mars in Cancer in 1st House / Mars Conjunct Ascendant over here.

Frequent struggle with feeling feminine, occupying instead what I think is a forceful, strong body (aspects of which I love). But I don't feel graceful or 'maidenly' in any way, and when some type of elegant, slender Libran type walks past, I feel like Rambo by comparison.

I thought Cancer on the ascendent would lend a certain kind of feminine lunar quality, but all I have are giant bazooms on a bullish structure.

In skirts and dresses, I feel utterly ridiculous.
Jeans, boots and tank are the uniform of comfort.

Feedback of 'first impressions' about me, character AND appearance wise, always involves the words 'strong', 'direct', etc. Not talking about romance, just in general.

posted June 28, 2019 03:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MoonsOfJupiter:
My goodness, I feel seen.

Do you mind sharing more about this?

Mars in Cancer in 1st House / Mars Conjunct Ascendant over here.

Frequent struggle with feeling feminine, occupying instead what I think is a forceful, strong body (aspects of which I love). But I don't feel graceful or 'maidenly' in any way, and when some type of elegant, slender Libran type walks past, I feel like Rambo by comparison.

I thought Cancer on the ascendent would lend a certain kind of feminine lunar quality, but all I have are giant bazooms on a bullish structure.

In skirts and dresses, I feel utterly ridiculous.
Jeans, boots and tank are the uniform of comfort.

Feedback of 'first impressions' about me, character AND appearance wise, always involves the words 'strong', 'direct', etc. Not talking about romance, just in general.

Mars Cancer kinda sucks as an experience. I am sure it has its blessings.

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Mars in 1st house can definitely be awkward for women. Especially given the fact that to be viewed as "feminine", the general consensus is that the native in question has to look "dainty","delicate" & "graceful" etc.

The insecurity comes more from society's insistence to put them(a square peg) into a round hole(what is deemed "ladylike") and not necessarily from the native intrinsically.

In other words, Mars in 1st house women are fine with assuming otherwise "boyish" identities.It is not seen by them as something "abhorrent" at all or incompatible with their sex i.e why can't I wear pants? Why can't I kick a ball? Why can't I do wrestling as a sport and why can't I drink beer from a can? etc.

Interestingly, Mars in 1st can also have the effect of making the women with this position "sexy". Their gutsy and direct energy can be seen as refreshing(people are usee to women being passive)- this especially when its accompanied by looks that are traditionally "feminine".

In other instances of course, it can be seen as threatening & brutish i.e "why are you trying to be a man?" etc. The thing is that they are not "trying". They are just comfortable assuming roles that are predominantly given to men.

Interestingly however, men with Venus in 1st house or Moon in 1st house are often interested in roles that are associated with women or femininity i.e designing clothes, cooking, home-making, the arts or drama etc. And yet they are praised for it. See the stark inequality there?

Mars in 1st house women may flaunt their sexuality openly or deny to be boxed into it.And perhaps its the world's obsession with mixing Venus with Mars? But because they exude this constant "balancing" of one and then the other, they are seen as "sexy".

Even in men, this mix of masculine features with feminine sensitivity of personality is found "desirable". All "sexiest man alive" nominees and winners have this mix of Venus femininity and Mars masculine balancing act. I see it most prevalent with Channing Tatum who rocker to stardom as the dancing(Venus) janitor(Mars)

With women, I looked at the following examples:

Megan Fox has Mars/Asc conjunct exact.She likes to play roles where she is the "aggressor" i.e "Jennifer's body".She doesn't do well with the "damsel in distress" roles at all. Her looks are also sultry & feminine.And this often has her "type cast" as the unattainable beauty.

Nicki Minaj has Mars conjunct Asc and she entered the predominantly male hip-hop scene with overt female sexuality(a very definitive Mars trait). She was raunchy & provocative at the beginning of her career.

But she also accompanied that sexually aggressive nature with a feminine style i.e the song "You see right through me" is about deep femininity hidden behind a mask of aggression and having the partner "uncover" that.

Sandra Bullock has Mars conjunct Asc & notice how Sandra comes off more "tomboy" girl next door than sultry siren? This especially when we consider the Mars in 1st house role she played in "Miss Congeniality".

Her character felt awkward in a dress & thought beauty pageants just "ridiculous"(Mars in 1st house women are often staunch feminists & dislike things that put women in a subjugated role)

Ironically however, Mars in 1st house women are also the likely winners of such pageants. Because they are very competitive & want to "win"(whatever the challenge is)

Have you noticed that pioneering women often have Mars in aspect to Asc, Sun or Moon? Or perhaps planets conjunct the 1st house angle? Mars is grit. Interesting people often have a Mars strong chart.

Madonna has Mars parallel Sun
Jane Fonda has Mars in 1st
Angela Merkel has Mars in 1st
The Queen of England has Mars in 1st
Jennifer Lopez has Moon/Mars parrallel and conjunct
Katherine Zeta Jones has Mars in 1st
Angelina Jolie has Moon/Asc conjunct.

posted June 28, 2019 04:14 PM            

After I'd left his orbit he came to me in a dream to say - "I didn't have to leave. If I was stressed out and needed help I should've asked him for help." This from a child who is ten years younger than me.

He was in my life for four years. The reason he was in my dreams was because within six months of knowing him I iced him out. It was a complicated and confusing story.

posted June 28, 2019 04:26 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MoonsOfJupiter:
PREACH.
I'll destroy somethin' if I don't soon.
Question is, if you mount the Fish, will the Goat run away?

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Nah, he'll stick around.

A year into knowing my Capricorn we were at a social event. I saw him coming and gave him the look (come near me and I'll slap you - that look), then turned my head away from him. Moments later I heard a hiss (as in fak it), then he hugged me... And walked away. I wrote off that interaction as him being drunk.

posted June 28, 2019 06:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Nine:
I wasn't completely innocent myself. Before I'd officially iced him out I flirted with him terribly.

One day we were having lunch, so I asked him to get me a packet of ketchup. He goes over to the side table, gets one and brings it to me... as I took the packet I held unto his finger for a split second. He looked straight ahead, oblivious to what I did. Instantly, unsolicited, he goes back to the side table, gets another packet of ketchup and says - here's some ketchup. It was the cutest thing.

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posted June 29, 2019 06:49 AM            

So I'm going with something that hasn't been mentioned yet: I think as a fellow Venus in Virgo, it's very hard to really put my foot down in a convo sometimes, and just talk about myself. It definitely comes with some practice, Virgo is a sign that serves - it's just not natural to really step forward and be like, "ok, so about me". Obviously that can change with certain things in the chart, but I think it's definitely something that's difficult, especially when young.

So, that's actually what my Aries mom taught me, haha, and they may just learn more about you. But the first few times, it can make you nervous def. Especially if a lot of people around you have this idea of that you should always be nice to others, listen, or how to act as a woman. But you have a Sag moon, you're good at getting the truth and cutting through the crap.

Another thing I thought of was maybe your DSC. I work with that a lot and often, the sign on there is one that is hard to really understand. It's the kind of traits that are very much the opposite of how you normally act. Anything happening to your Saturn, either natally or in synastry? Some supportive aspects here can help so much.

I'm sorry the guy is so confusing for you. It does sound really confusing to get some good signs but then things don't really get much further!!

Capricorns do need security, I've found that people heavy in Saturn just don't really like to take risks unless the green light is pretty damn obvious. And the safety net. And the cushions on said safety net. Oh, and did they check if that parachute's working? It is very different from Sagittarius, who likes exploring and takes those leaps of faith way more easily.

(I have a Cap stellium and yeah same here sometimes) Hope I don't come across as the bearer of bad news here.

The Cancer Mars-ASC. Hmm. Some astrologers will say that a planet on the ASC takes over as the chart ruler, but I don't think it's that clear-cut easy. Like, yes, it alters a lot, but I don't think you just stop being a Cancer ASC just because Mars is there. It just gives you a bit of both, IMO, and that's really difficult with two signs that normally don't go well together (the square). The way you process your feelings, and feel things out in life is still a thing, same with the energy of Sagittarius, your moon sign. Just that you may relate a lot to the energy of a strong Mars or Aries as well as your Cancer ASC. :smile:

posted September 23, 2019 04:21 PM            

I wanted to give an update here (in case it's relevant to anyone, and also as a resolution to all you lovely souls who gave me good advice).

I did it, y'all. "Mounted him", so to speak. Made my move and kissed him, after one too many instances of him playing the boyfriend role with me. It very quickly became sexual, even though that wasn't my intention. Alas, he was like a thirsty man in the dessert.

Unfortunately, things didn't go so well thereafter (emotionally).

"I'd be heartbroken to lose this friendship" BLAH BLAH BLAH. I was pretty gutted but I accepted it, whatever dude. That was July. Since then, he is contacting me more than ever, basically going back to exactly how it was before, but ten times more intense. No more intimacy, though, but A LOT of contact and attention.

Too frakkin' confusing for me, dudes. Methinks he wants a pretend girlfriend without the girlfriend. The relationship experience without the relationship.

Disappointed with the Goat man, I must say.

Currently trying to distance myself, but it's tough to do with him calling and texting all day every day.

Anyone wanna set me up with their stable, boring Taurus brother or something?