posted October 15, 2019 01:01 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GalacticCoreExplosion:
Interesting dream hypatia238, thank you for sharing it.

When you say "hometown" did you mean in this, or in the past life?

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posted October 15, 2019 01:13 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MoonsOfJupiter:

About the 'vacation life' @hypathia and @moonbeth- holy crap, there IS that element, manifesting in a social climb towards being a 'kept man' in some way. An entitlement to the good life. Did I mention I pay for most things when we go out? Gulp.

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That is a great theory!

He is either super cheap bc he has that scarcity mindset or genuinely struggling.

I think is cool when the girl pays but ideally is nice for both to be able to take each other out from time to time and pay the bill.

posted October 15, 2019 06:43 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
That is a great theory!

He is either super cheap bc he has that scarcity mindset or genuinely struggling.

I think is cool when the girl pays but ideally is nice for both to be able to take each other out from time to time and pay the bill.

Keeping your distance definitely helps in the moving on process.

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Fully agree. Wouldn't have minded to continue forking up cash knowing he's still on the 'come up'. But also, you know when you just KNOW someone is getting a little comfy? It's when they never really acknowledge or express thanks, and start to assume you'll just cover it.

posted October 15, 2019 02:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MoonsOfJupiter:
@moonbeth - thanks for reposting the Goat man chronicles.

I did read it, many times. It's a heartbreak chapter, to be honest. Reasons:

a) I wanted to be what he wanted, and it seems I that am not.
b) Walking around with this vague, illogical sense of having let him down just by being human.
c) Shame that one should expect to be 'less capable' to be what he wants. I can't do that.
d) More disturbingly, if anyone is familiar with the idealization / devaluation / discard cycle from narcissistic personalities (covert or overt). It feels, curiously, like this is what this is.

Also, he is 33.

Thank God my mind is strong, because my heart is a damn sad pile of warm s**t.

Now we wait for it to catch up.

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I love Liz Greene so much, her writing feels cosy to me, you agree or don't but you always see what she means so clearly

Awww, really? I love it, it soothes me, I'm so sorry it's heartbreaking to you, *huggles*.

Ooh, I see...
a) I think this is one of our massive flaw as a species, the notion of criteria relationships. "Don't waste your time in no-criteria rs" bla, bla.... exfuckingcuse me, but people aren't courses you validate so you can claim such and such relationship degree. We spend more time defining what we want than who we are and then wonder how we end up so disappointed with such perfectly clear desires. Well, duh! lol
It's all in the "question", you wanted to be what he wanted, but has it ever occurred to you, you wanting that wasn't who you really are or what he wants really is something he can get? We never do that, we buy others' projections of what they dream they were and pet our own about how we'd like to be seen and it's often disastrous because those are just desires, fantasises, whims... I'm not trying to be a devil's advocate for the sake of it, I'm more honestly wondering, why would you want to be something you're not? What was so appealing in being what he wanted besides it was what HER wanted and you wanted him? (that's a question I've asked myself SO many times and it's always come back to bite me in the tushy and teach me a lesson lol)
b) From everything I've read, it seems *he* disappoints you greatly just by being himself. Why should it matter then that you'd disappoint him too? All those flaws of his you've described are VERY human lol It seems to be working both ways, why be so hard on yourself? Because he seems not to be? You never know what's it like inside others, you can't let that dictate your feelings though. You both projected something you wanted and realised the other isn't that, you can either embrace that and get to know each other or call it disillusion and walk away, but why involve your self-esteem so much by considering YOU disappointed him. It's not as if you purposely deceived him, you shouldn't blame yourself... is logic back? (I hate that feeling, I know over-logic doesn't work, but had to try )
c) I think that type of functioning is poor Capricorn. A real true goat doesn't need others to be less for them to be more, but because their ambitions are so high, it can take a LOT for them to finally respect themselves and not see others' accomplishments as diminution of their own. Obviously in the meantime they should be left alone (regardless of age, I think 30's is young for a winter sign) or taken with a pinch of salt, because no one is pretty "in the make", but then again, maybe love is when you can take the other person's ugliness. I know I couldn't dream to change myself to fit anything, but I also don't really see that goat trait as a problem. I guess my ambitions aren't social and I don't thrive on that kind of success, so being "under" in that way doesn't affect me so much. I think being capable in different manners is what works for most pairs, unless you're the competitive type, or have a very strong third leg in the relationship.
As for money, I don't know, you trust your guts, if you feel he's comfy not paying because he's not paying, then address it, but sometimes it could also be just being comfy with you and accepting you pay, you know, as in constantly thanking and showing gratitude isn't really "equal", so... the thing in itself is quite grey, but again, do trust your guts.
d) I'm no professional and he's no patient of mine, but why not?! Thing is, if so, then you cannot associate that to Capricorn because, poor goatsies! and also, well if it's that, then you know there's probably not much you can do and it's part of who he is, so if you don't like it, you have no reason to stay.

Hey, sad piles of warm shite can help grow wonderful gardens You just need to do a bit of shovelling to pick them up and I have a fierce hunch you are already picking yourself up love

posted October 15, 2019 09:57 PM            

The elephant symbolism is very interesting as well. While it could be literal, when I think of elephant in a symbolic manner, I think of that old Indian teaching about the blind men feeling the parts of an elephant and each declaring that a different part is something, and none seeing the whole picture. Hence, the elephant could represent the larger, unseen truth that is hard for you to grasp?

The other thing that comes up in relation to elephants is them being known for their long memories and familial and herd loyalty.

posted October 16, 2019 12:55 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GalacticCoreExplosion:

The other thing that comes up in relation to elephants is them being known for their long memories and familial and herd loyalty.

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This would make more sense since having "long memories" allows me to access a past life via this dream. This dream allowed me to see the bigger picture and brought clarity by letting me access a past life and letting me know it connects to this life and were I chose to be born etc.

posted October 16, 2019 12:50 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
I associate elephants more with Ganesha since I also had a past life dream involving India or maybe it was an astral travel experience, I was in the Taj Mahal. It felt like astral travel tbh that one and it was super vivid.

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Makes sense.

posted October 16, 2019 01:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GalacticCoreExplosion:
Makes sense.

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posted October 16, 2019 01:58 PM            

Ok, the main one is actually one that my long time partner had for and about me. She was viewing ancient Egypt and the scenes primarily centered around two men who were friends/co workers, and one was more the teacher and one more the student. She said both men were in the process of trying to spiritually ascend.

One man went unnamed, but she knew it was past life me. He was a spiritual teacher and holistic healer type. The other man (the teacher/counselor to past life me) she got the name of Thoth in relation to. While past life me was more in the public, Thoth was more in the background working through me in a sense.

Then the dream gets a bit strange. At some point, she became aware of this group of beings that she had a hard time perceiving and describing. She said that they looked and felt like upright, intelligent, small dinosaur like beings. They REALLY did not like what past life me was doing i.e. trying to help spiritually uplift my fellow humans. So they focused on me as a group and started to inject negative psychic energy (like energetic poison) into my energy field and it started to have a detrimental and limiting effect.

My friend/teacher Thoth became aware of what was happening (past life me apparently wasn't), and he decided to help me, and did so by absorbing all that negative energy out of my energetic field and trying to transmute it. This process somehow killed his physical body, but through this act of self sacrifice, he did spiritually ascend in that life (I don't know, but I assume that I didn't). That was pretty much the gist and whole of it.

The dream that I had maybe wasn't so much a past life dream. I had a very intensely vivid dream about being on the Giza plataue, and first came upon the smaller pyramids, each of which was a different major color--I think primary colors. I climbed/scaled over each--the last I think was blue.

When I came to the Great Pyramid, which was white, I found a secret entrance, and started going down into the GP. I came to a room that was completely dark (yet I could somehow see for a bit). I don't remember anything else from that dream, but I woke up from it with such a feeling of intensity and profundity that I can't even begin to describe. I know on some deep level that something very important and major happened to me in there.

Some months or a year or so after having this dream, I was in metaphysical book shop just chatting with a woman a couple to few decades older than myself, about spiritual and metaphysical topics. All of a sudden in the middle of our conversation, she completely stopped and with a look of utter surprise, blurted, out, "Oh my God, you're an Initiate!". I think she was surprised partly because I was still in my teens at the time.

She later on became a professional sensitive/psychic reader and we became somewhat friends. I ended up getting a reading with her. Interestingly, she told me that she became OBSESSED with Edgar Cayce at a very young age. She started reading books about him, his work and life starting around 8 years old.

A little while after the above run in, I had one of my first psychic readings (different lady), and I asked the psychic about the GP dream. She said that I had been involved with building the G.P. and particularly had something to do with Star shaft alignments. She said that I had studied astrology in that life and that's why I had such an early interest and aptitude for it in this life.

At the time I took it with a large grain of salt, as I was rather wary of spiritual egotism. My partner's dream came many, many years after these earlier experiences, and confirmed information that I had received in between about my direct past. If I put together all the dreams, way beyond chance synchronicities, psychic readings, etc, etc over the last 20+ years relating to all this, I could write a small book (no worries, I won't).

I know more so intuitively and from some hints in some sources I respect here and there as well as dream and psychic reading hints, that in that Egyptian life, my Soul had come from the Stars, and when I was done my earthly work, I had my homegroup beam me up so to speak, and I became a human version of them for awhile, and eventually disconnected from the human body and became an explorer and communicator, visiting and communicating with many different groups from this and other Galaxies. And so I've come from the Stars again, some 12, 500 year later and at the exact opposite age point. My earlier lifetime was when the Age of Virgo was ending and Leo just beginning, and here we are at the exact opposite point where Pisces is ending and Aquarius beginning. Both were cycles of major alignments to the Galactic Core and the past experienced tremendous upheaval and change holistically and so to will this cycle in the near to nearish future.

There is nothing new under the Sun and what has come before, will come again, in a slightly different tune or context.

posted October 16, 2019 07:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
You clearly enjoy writing, you could write a book about something spiritual you feel people would gain from.

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Thank you Hypatia238, that is thoughtful of you to say. Have thought of it and have even started on a couple books over the years. I'm interested in writing a very holistic book tying together many different metaphysics and areas of consciousness, of course including also astrology.

But, I have wondered if maybe just writing a shorter, more astro based book might be a better idea to start out.

posted October 16, 2019 07:50 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MoonsOfJupiter:

Fully agree. Wouldn't have minded to continue forking up cash knowing he's still on the 'come up'. But also, you know when you just KNOW someone is getting a little comfy? It's when they never really acknowledge or express thanks, and start to assume you'll just cover it.

I'm just confounded that THIS has been the Capricorn experience. I expected better from my 'descendent'. Dammit.

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You could try asking your Spirit/guidance system, that if it's in the Creative Forces' will and the best thing for you and your spiritual growth, to send you a more spiritually mature and positive partner (regardless of the sign or signs involved).

posted October 16, 2019 11:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GalacticCoreExplosion:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by hypatia238:
[b]You clearly enjoy writing, you could write a book about something spiritual you feel people would gain from.

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Thank you Hypatia238, that is thoughtful of you to say. Have thought of it and have even started on a couple books over the years. I'm interested in writing a very holistic book tying together many different metaphysics and areas of consciousness, of course including also astrology.

But, I have wondered if maybe just writing a shorter, more astro based book might be a better idea to start out.

[/B][/QUOTE]

I dont know, you definitely got my attention with your first book idea, I could see how having a different spiritual/metaphysical topic for each chapter would be a lot of fun, it would keep me interested bc of the diversity of topics.

posted October 17, 2019 06:58 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Moonbeth:

a) What was so appealing in being what he wanted besides it was what HE wanted and you wanted him? (that's a question I've asked myself SO many times and it's always come back to bite me in the tushy and teach me a lesson lol)

b) From everything I've read, it seems *he* disappoints you greatly just by being himself. Why should it matter then that you'd disappoint him too? All those flaws of his you've described are VERY human lol It seems to be working both ways, why be so hard on yourself? Because he seems not to be? Why involve your self-esteem so much by considering YOU disappointed him. It's not as if you purposely deceived him, you shouldn't blame yourself... is logic back?

c) I think that type of functioning is poor Capricorn. A real true goat doesn't need others to be less for them to be more, but because their ambitions are so high, it can take a LOT for them to finally respect themselves and not see others' accomplishments as diminution of their own. Obviously in the meantime they should be left alone (regardless of age, I think 30's is young for a winter sign) or taken with a pinch of salt, because no one is pretty "in the make", but then again, maybe love is when you can take the other person's ugliness. I know I couldn't dream to change myself to fit anything, but I also don't really see that goat trait as a problem. I guess my ambitions aren't social and I don't thrive on that kind of success, so being "under" in that way doesn't affect me so much. As for money, I don't know, you trust your guts, if you feel he's comfy not paying because he's not paying, then address it, but sometimes it could also be just being comfy with you and accepting you pay, you know, as in constantly thanking and showing gratitude isn't really "equal", so... the thing in itself is quite grey, but again, do trust your guts.

Hey, sad piles of warm shite can help grow wonderful gardens You just need to do a bit of shovelling to pick them up and I have a fierce hunch you are already picking yourself up love

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@moonbeth:
Just wanted to quote some of the above selects of your wisdom and thank you for taking the time. All of it applies and all of it stands. You affirmed the majority of what I had slowly and eventually realized, almost verbatim, it's kinda creepy almost.

Sometimes ya fall hard and ignore things in favor of the experience.

Growing a garden as we speak.

posted October 17, 2019 06:59 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
You clearly enjoy writing, you could write a book about something spiritual you feel people would gain from.

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posted October 17, 2019 05:32 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MoonsOfJupiter:
@moonbeth:
Just wanted to quote some of the above selects of your wisdom and thank you for taking the time. All of it applies and all of it stands. You affirmed the majority of what I had slowly and eventually realized, almost verbatim, it's kinda creepy almost.

Sometimes ya fall hard and ignore things in favor of the experience.

Growing a garden as we speak.

Thank you again. <3

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Awww Moons, it's easy being the sage pointing at the moon when you're not experiencing the situation. In the moment, we're all fools, especially when it comes to love <3
I'll fall right back into ignoring all I've written for the next Capricorn lol
You're so welcome, I have chiron in the 10th conjunct my MC, sharing "gardening" experiences is basically my calling, always happy to take the time for fellow gardeners

posted October 17, 2019 10:51 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
I dont know, you definitely got my attention with your first book idea, I could see how having a different spiritual/metaphysical topic for each chapter would be a lot of fun, it would keep me interested bc of the diversity of topics.

But you can do both! The astro one would be a great success too.

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quote:

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Originally posted by MoonsOfJupiter:
Also, ditto to this @GalacticCore.

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Tanks Luvs for the encouragement and positivity. I've literally had guidance tell me, via my partner's dream, "write a book!", but as I noted, us Crappacorns can be a wee bit stubborn (or slow, take your pick). (smile).

posted October 21, 2019 11:17 AM            

Come to think of it his chart I feel is more Yin polarized, he definitely is more in touch with his feminine side not by a little but by a lot. I am thinking this is why there is this issue with acting on his desires and feeling comfortable with acting on this desires ect........so much passive/receptive energy in his chart.

posted October 24, 2019 09:26 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Moonbeth:
Awww Moons, it's easy being the sage pointing at the moon when you're not experiencing the situation. In the moment, we're all fools, especially when it comes to love <3
I'll fall right back into ignoring all I've written for the next Capricorn lol
You're so welcome, I have chiron in the 10th conjunct my MC, sharing "gardening" experiences is basically my calling, always happy to take the time for fellow gardeners

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I am all for these gardening analogies, dude.
Currently pulling out and discarding fungal weeds, if we're gonna get metaphorical.

And I truly hope your next Cappi is an evolved, endearing old man soul who puts a Saturn ring on it, instead of a covert narcissist deep-space trash receptacle like mine.

posted October 24, 2019 09:34 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
MoonsofJupiter I was thinking this morning about that last Cappy guy which I was friends with and our relationship was pretty much platonic, the one I told you he has never been in a long term committed relationship and seems to be in the asexual spectrum...well I remember your guy and him had similar placements.

Come to think of it his chart I feel is more Yin polarized, he definitely is more in touch with his feminine side not by a little but by a lot. I am thinking this is why there is this issue with acting on his desires and feeling comfortable with acting on this desires ect........so much passive/receptive energy in his chart.

His sun, moon, venus and mars are all YIN. I get the sense that this past year with your guy has been frustrating for you for similar reasons, he has too much Yin in his chart. Remind me what is his sun, moon, venus, and mars? I think you said cappy with moon and venus in scorpio but I cannot remember his mars right now...

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Could bloody well be. Although did you also find it to be such a polarizing mindf**k? A man (supposedly) in tune with his "soft" side, while simultaneously fighting everything it stands for and projecting that back onto you as a weakness in YOU? Let's not forget the disdain of his conservative and closed-minded mother, plus the logically following underlying and deep seeded resentment for women and their "weaknesses" in general...while WANTING to claim being sensitive and empathic, without any real display thereof.

They're wearing a mask on stage, and you're the flippin' stage.

Been reading a lot about narcissistic behavior, and while he is not a complete textbook case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, holy hell-balls there was a disturbing amount of toxicity there.

The complete sensitivity to criticism and utter inability to accept any, while dishing it out to me and others 24/7, for example. The silent treatment and gaslighting. The need for your intellectual submission to his wise and holier than thou teachings about politics and human behavior.

YAWN.

One thing I remain proud as f*** about is that I never fawned over it, and I guess they get tired of that. And then the devaluation starts. You're belittled (jokingly...) and reduced to nothing special in their eyes, until they are ready to discard you without conscience.

His planets here are Sun Cap, Moon Virgo, Venus Scorp, Mars Pisces. So VERY YIN, yes. Only Yang is Merc in Sag on his side. Not sure about rising.

I'm Sun, Rising and Mars Crab, Moon Sag, Merc Leo, Venus Virgo.

How about you?

Well Yin or Yang, he turned out to be a total crap bucket.

posted October 24, 2019 09:55 AM            

quote:

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AND I'M YANGRY.

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LOL. Seriously, if you haven't already, try asking guidance and the Creative Forces to send you an older, self actualized Soul for a mate.

posted October 24, 2019 11:49 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MoonsOfJupiter:
Could bloody well be. Although did you also find it to be such a polarizing mindf**k? A man (supposedly) in tune with his "soft" side, while simultaneously fighting everything it stands for...

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hahahahahhahahaha right on girl! you are such a trip! You seem like so much fun and smart to top it off and you go after what you want! High five!

Yes I can relate to that a lot, a bit of a mind f*ck, except in my case he did not project it back to me at least hahaha...I can say my friend is a great person.

"plus the logically following underlying and deep seeded resentment for women and their "weaknesses" in general...while WANTING to claim being sensitive and empathic, without any real display thereof." poor thing, sounds like he has a lot of unresolved trauma and wounds he neeeds to heal but girl he does not have to be your project, let him go see a counselor My friend is going to be a counselor and is seeing a counselor so he is more ahead in his healing journey and wants to help others too in theirs.

"The complete sensitivity to criticism and utter inability to accept any, while dishing it out to me and others 24/7, for example. The silent treatment and gaslighting. The need for your intellectual submission to his wise and holier than thou teachings about politics and human behavior." OMG the more you talk about him, he sounds nothing like my friend! I am glad you are distancing yourself from him! He sounds like too much work and drama.

My friend has sun in cappy and moon/venus/uranus conjunct all in scorpio and mars in Capricorn and libra rising. He is a great guy and I care for him a lot but I will not be hanging out with him, maybe once or twice a year, I need to keep it light.

posted October 26, 2019 09:34 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GalacticCoreExplosion:
[QUOTE]

LOL. Seriously, if you haven't already, try asking guidance and the Creative Forces to send you an older, self actualized Soul for a mate.

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posted October 26, 2019 10:01 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MoonsOfJupiter:
Could bloody well be. Although did you also find it to be such a polarizing mindf**k? A man (supposedly) in tune with his "soft" side, while simultaneously fighting everything it stands for and projecting that back onto you as a weakness in YOU? Let's not forget the disdain of his conservative and closed-minded mother, plus the logically following underlying and deep seeded resentment for women and their "weaknesses" in general...while WANTING to claim being sensitive and empathic, without any real display thereof.

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Yeah, I reconnected with the Taurus (reluctantly at first) that I mentioned here in your thread. It was okay at first, but once he started to feel better, and decided that he had his faith back? (He became heavily religious, sometime over the past seven to eight years). I realized we were too different to be involved as anything more than friends - we were even more different than before. He was pushing a bit to be involved romantically, and once he realized that wasn't going to happen, I was suddenly a bad person, arrogant to think that I am a good person (usually). And it went on from there. I wasn't good enough to know, because I wasn't filled with the light of Jesus Christ. He just went off the deep end with it.