posted August 24, 2020 02:37 AM            

it's cool, hopefully you're feeling better

well the thing is i'm just straight up implying it's ******** to justify cluster b type behaviors because the people who display them do so with everyone in their lives and there ultimately is no justification outside of their own twisted ********

you're talking about a woman who went on to plant drugs on a coworker who tried to give her a place to stay, spread rumors to keep all her other coworkers and friends fighting amongst each other while she remained the center of attention etc and so on

this is someone who treated everyone like **** and engaged in these behaviors (or tried to) with everyone she came in contact with and at the end of the day that kind of **** isn't someone else's fault and there's no justification for ****** sociopathic behavior

it's not "well you couldve played sociopath games and it would have stopped" because that's really not how it worked

this is someone who was mad and made me pay for years over stopping a suicide attempt while she simultaneously went on about how happy she was to be alive

there is no winning with garbage there is no game playing and bending over backwards to appease someone like that leaves you coming up dry repeatedly

my point is my behavior regardless of what it was at any given time never changed hers because people who have mental issues like that don't need or have justification they will make things up when they don't have it

people do need to own up for their own **** because no one makes anyone do anything at the end of the day

different people can go through the same exact **** but does that mean anything? no because they still have the option of responding differently and likely will in many cases

what it became and what it had been were 2 different things because she started to lose it more with age

in my view there is no justification for behaviors like that you can go "well if you acted like" and the truth is no she just would have done something else

everyone judges and is human yes and i accept that as natural and do it myself, i'm not nearly as "fussed" about judgement as you seem to think

what i said was that judgement based off hardly anything isnt sound enough to give weight to or care about which is true

i reserve full sweeping judgements of people until ive gained knowledge of them over time because i find it stupid to judge someone as a human going off very little

posted August 24, 2020 11:15 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by TaurusVenusGirl:
Aileen Wuornos was not an attractive woman by any means, yet men still paid to have sex with her. Goes to show you what men can be like.

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posted August 24, 2020 11:22 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
No I’m not on Tinder lol I think I misunderstood what he said. He was saying that he likes all women not just one type. We did meet in a Facebook group though we've been talking for a year. But we haven't met yet because of this pandemic. I stopped using Tinder but I didn't know it was only for sex lol.

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He sees a gal, finds her physically attractive, throws a net and wait for the catch. He may not care much about her personality (not at this stage). But you said he has been chatting with you for a year... quite patient. How many guys are you chatting and meeting, btw (lol)? Have you not found "the one" yet or not intending to?

posted August 24, 2020 03:47 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
He sees a gal, finds her physically attractive, throws a net and wait for the catch. He may not care much about her personality (not at this stage). But you said he has been chatting with you for a year... quite patient. How many guys are you chatting and meeting, btw (lol)? Have you not found "the one" yet or not intending to?

There're a lot of people on Tinder who're either looking for sex or are scammers. All claimed to live in the US/UK and work in the petroleum industry and they look like some models or Korean actors. All fakes.

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posted August 28, 2020 06:22 AM            

months?
Maybe some men, just like some women.

years?
Probably not common for either sex, but possible.

Notice how I did not single out one sex...

posted August 29, 2020 04:06 PM              

Close to giving up, I've said I'm explaining not justifying and you keep going in like a mustang through an already opened door saying there's no justification for her behaviour... have at it love, but, you're not replying to me is all

And, I can only react to what you give and you often comment about others judging, judging it, not harshly, but somehow in a black/white way (I'm **** at explaining, stupid brain), I don't have an opinion on that, but this is where the impression you're reactive about judgement came from. Thanks for clarifying

posted September 16, 2020 09:10 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by vansio:
@leo-cancer98 it’s called Compulsion

kannon why is this on astrology 2.0?

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posted September 16, 2020 09:26 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted:
What do you mean by “Compulsion” exactly?

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http://yogananda.com.au/gita/gita0337-41desire.html#top http://youtu.be/HPwE5IHXdlw

speaking as someone who practices brahmacarya, this type of circumstance that OP described is recognized as compulsive, rather, unconscious behavior.

nothing more nothing less—they know-not what they do

single and married humans alike, we can all do this

similar concept would be when one believes they are “in love” with someone that they clearly dislike—attachment to their own shadow, in effect, projected on to another to interact with

posted September 16, 2020 01:12 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Chanterelle:
@Dumuzi: This sounds so familiar! Maybe a little less dysfunctional in my case, but same dynamic: partner keeps bringing up one or two specific things that happened way back in the beginning of our relationship, I either a. Try to focus on the present, b. Ask how this is relevant to the present, c. Point out that I tried to change as soon as I realized it was such a problem, if it’s still ongoing and I don’t realize it please give examples from at least this year if not this month or week or day. Same with the stoically letting s*** roll off your back without responding, because every form of engagement has been tried and failed. It’s like mental judo... what you said about dodging (not literal in my case) made me want to chime in with something that popped up when I was looking at Mayan astrology. The glyph of the blue monkey popped up several times; it represents the Divine Child within each of us. It said something along the lines of perfect transparency being the most powerful form of protection, because the slings and arrows of life just pass right through you. Unfortunately I don’t have the option of just cutting this person off, so instead of mental walls I’m trying to cultivate the image of a very firm but gracious doorkeeper.

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yeah exactly that it would be something that was already long since corrected and dealt with, and there wouldn't be any specific examples it was just a way to shift things and change the subject

gaslighting

i dealt with it for many years and i'm honestly relieved that **** is over 🤣 i felt this deep responsibility towards her due to length of time together and feeling like making a serious relationship work was important (catholic upbringing on some level) but there's no real way to work on that kind of thing

you can cut pieces of yourself away trying to appease someone like that, but they're ultimately never satisfied or happy, because there's something intrinsically wrong in themselves that they're not facing

i'm sorry to hear you're staying in that situation, but glad to hear it's less dysfunctional than mine was

mine was extremely dysfunctional but because of my childhood a good deal of the dysfunction just seemed so normal it went unnoticed until it escalated past a certain point

in a way i'm grateful for the experience both having had it and (even moreso) it being behind me now because i learned a good deal about myself through it and it shaped me in a way where i've been able to acknowledge and confront issues from my own childhood

it provided a backdrop for a lot of self examination and understanding, and we had our good times i won't lie and say it was 100% awful or she's this 100% terrible person because that's not really how life or people work

i will say though that feeling like you're stuck doesn't mean you actually are and sometimes what we fail to do on our own the universe will take care of and fate will bring about anyway

i had many signs that relationship would end and eventually fate lined up in a way where it did, and so i learned about the nature of that as well

how even our attempts to avoid things that are meant to be can ultimately set the stage for them

all good though 😁 hardship only shapes us it doesnt have to destroy us and sometimes going through rough **** is ultimately better for the soul than things being easy

posted September 16, 2020 01:14 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Moonbeth:
@Dumuzi
Brain fog still foggy...

Close to giving up, I've said I'm explaining not justifying and you keep going in like a mustang through an already opened door saying there's no justification for her behaviour... have at it love, but, you're not replying to me is all

And, I can only react to what you give and you often comment about others judging, judging it, not harshly, but somehow in a black/white way (I'm **** at explaining, stupid brain), I don't have an opinion on that, but this is where the impression you're reactive about judgement came from. Thanks for clarifying

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i'm reactive by nature but confusing my reactions for my deeper thoughts is usually a mistake

i understand you're explaining, but i was sharing my own view of the situation and elaborating on it, no offense was taken or anything

posted September 16, 2020 01:19 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Chanterelle:
And yeah, it’s totally possible to love someone you don’t really like. Or to be attracted to someone for reasons that have little to do with love. Or to ‘need’ physical pleasure in a way that has nothing to do with emotional connection. Ultimately, I think it all comes down to how a person makes you feel about yourself. What’s really being given and received, energetically speaking, in any given interaction? Is it something you can carry with you, or does it drain right out of you when that interaction is over? Sorry, this isn’t really very astrological... I’m new to it. PS Venus is conjunct my south node (again, TOB best guess.) What does that mean, I have to give up on love to follow my true path? Go figure....

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posted September 16, 2020 01:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Chanterelle:
‘Impulsion’ implies that the desire comes from within; ‘compulsion’ is more strongly influenced by the other, a sort of energetic feedback loop... maybe?

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com- a prefix meaning “with,” “together,” “in association”
im- a prefix meaning “not”, “negate”, though impuls is “strike against”

so... something seemingly external invokes the act, com-pulsive

driven to act, seemingly alone, without involving nor recognizing nor meeting anyone or thing, then impulsive?

obviously these words have been borrowed in psychiatry for their own diagnostic terms; compulsive is to coercion as impulsive is to mania.. but I don’t prescribe to standardized psychology science mumbojumbo because I believe in soul having purpose, recognized or not..