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Author
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Topic: Friends?????
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LEXX
Moderator Posts: 1745
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 02, 2010 11:53 PM
 
quote:
I believe the humor in the "mean list" is that it's so unexpected. That is, it's not about laughing at someone getting hurt, it's about surprising people who expected another fluff bunny chain letter instead.
Yeah...
DEFINITELY unexpected.
And since when is kindness and caring
"fluff bunny" or "sissy?" 
I do not see the two I posted as fluff bunny or sissy.
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Dervish
Knowflake Posts: 594
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted June 03, 2010 04:12 AM
Just an expression. It's fine to post, but I didn't see a point in posting it either. I have friends who I would be that way for and I believe would be that way for me, but even we wouldn't pass this along to each other. But just so I'm clear, I'm not against this being posted here, just I'm bemused that it was. And I worry that it might be leading to a false impression that all those strangers listed as "friends" in MySpace and the like actually are this way, which isn't true, and in some cases may even be dangerous who can use this to guilt the people they send this to for "not being a real friend" unless they meet with them (among other unpleasant possibilities). IP: Logged |
charmainec
Moderator Posts: 386
From: on the other side of the rainbow
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 03, 2010 04:53 AM
quote:
"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."
quote:
A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else."
quote:
"Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you."
quote:
"One's best friend is oneself."
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quote:
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies with in us."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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LEXX
Moderator Posts: 1745
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 03, 2010 08:13 AM
quote:
Just an expression.
I do understand "fluffy bunny". There are some who send along every "cause" and stuff I refer to as new age tripe or whatever.
I reposted the two about friendship here because the guy who posted the first one is a friend in my offline life, and has found that too many "friends" are fair weather friends only.
The second I posted because I have indeed experienced such too many times and will try harder not to again.
And to remind folks to treasure their real friends.
quote:
It's fine to post, but I didn't see a point in posting it either. I have friends who I would be that way for and I believe would be that way for me, but even we wouldn't pass this along to each other. But just so I'm clear, I'm not against this being posted here, just I'm bemused that it was.
I see your point but I am not one who sends such on willynilly. These two have personal significance and too many folks do take friends for granted.
quote:
And I worry that it might be leading to a false impression that all those strangers listed as "friends" in MySpace and the like actually are this way, which isn't true, and in some cases may even be dangerous who can use this to guilt the people they send this to for "not being a real friend" unless they meet with them (among other unpleasant possibilities).
Oh my! 
I definitely do not want anyone to get such an impression!
One must be VERY CAREFUL OF ONLINE contacts until absolutely sure and the initial meeting should be in a public place and not alone.
Also a background check and other reputable references is not a bad idea.
As to this: quote:
and in some cases may even be dangerous who can use this to guilt the people they send this to for "not being a real friend" unless they meet with them
I know that too well! "shudder"
I was subjected to unexpected projected feelings of rejection, rage, then threats of vengeance by a few online "friends" when I refused to let them come visit me. Big mistake, do not give out your phone number or address to anyone until you feel it is absolutely safe to do so. Even that might not work however, as I was fooled because they were all so wonderfully nice and sweet to me....at first and for some time.
How does one know for sure?
Some folks think just because they talk by phone that they should be allowed to just pop over to visit in person no matter how much hardship or discomfort it would cause. Like in my situation, I cannot plan to be well enough for a spontaneous visit, nor do I have the means to host guests from far away. And going out would be a big problem as I do not drive except for emergencies. But some were very upset and said they would even want to visit at my bedside. I found that kind but creepy too.
So yeah, even seemingly nice folks met on the internet can be overly aggressively "friendly" which these days could be dangerous. Or lead to tons of spam and hate mail and or online public harassment which can cross from one site to another and another. Also, when I think of friends in the way of my first post, I am not talking of just anyone, but folks I have known in real life offline for years or decades.
I would still help others not fitting that, but not let them into my home. There are other ways to help.
PS.
I changed my first post line on this thread to this to indicate "long time" and well known, not casual barely known friends.
quote:
A long time friend in my offline world (over a decade) and at MySpace posted this:
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Everyone is a teacher...
Everyone is a student...
Learning is eternal.
}><}}(*>
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LEXX
Moderator Posts: 1745
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 03, 2010 08:24 AM
charmainec  ------------------
Everyone is a teacher...
Everyone is a student...
Learning is eternal.
}><}}(*>
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Coffee
Knowflake Posts: 990
From: Leeds
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 03, 2010 08:44 AM
quote:
Even that might not work however, as I was fooled because they were all so wonderfully nice and sweet to me....at first and for some time.
I guess friends can also be groups. Just walking round town got accosted by some spiritual people, so thought why not? Went with them to public place and never had such a friendlier welcome anywhere else. Never had so many devilish looking women interested at one time. Ok, I normally do. I lie. Yeah. At first. IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 1745
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 03, 2010 09:20 AM
Sounds like a group of friendly Amway salespeople who did not reveal that until they convinced me to come to a party and meet their other friends.
(After I had known them in public/by phone for about 6 months!)
Well I went, only to discover they were all Amway freaks, and talked like they were filming commercials (which they were not doing) when they offered me any food or drink.
(like all the people did in the movie, "The Truman Show", except Truman) 
I tried to leave and was steered into a backroom and badgered for over an hour and a half by the husband and wife and their
Amway "brother".
They told me I must join their "family"... "for my own good"... and when I refused, they made serious threats, and the husband started playing with his fancy handguns and telling me that if I told anyone about their recruitment process, that there "would be serious consequences to me and mine". They even called me unAmerican, a Communist, and accused me of having trust issues. Oh yeah, and they in betwixt scaring me something terrible and insulting me, would hug me, pat me, smile and tell me that if I joined their "family" I would be loved and protected like I'd never known before.
So badgering me about having trust issues like these people did, and the others I mentioned who wanted to visit me no matter what.....
well the warning warning bells just go off very loudly!
That woman who was murdered and her unborn baby cut from her, trusted a woman who seemed kind too.
One never knows for sure about people do they?
Some do indeed do the guilt/trust me ploy.
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Everyone is a teacher...
Everyone is a student...
Learning is eternal.
}><}}(*>
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WinkAway
Knowflake Posts: 537
From: The great beyond
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 03, 2010 01:52 PM
cpn quote:
and thank you wink away. i have a feeling you are someone i would be proud to call friend too. when that guy swindled you a long time ago, i i would have loved to be the one to sit with you and plot revenge we would never carry out until i could make you laugh.
I just wanted to thank you for that. It seriously brought tears to my eyes. I didn't know if anyone here remembers anything I post or posted since I've changed my username a few times since coming here 3 yrs ago. But a lot has changed with me since then. Especially my self esteem, which was in pieces at the time I was scammed. I admit that I did that to myself by the choices I made. But anyway I know this isn't about me, but I wanted to take the time to thank you for your kind words. And I'd be all over plotting revenge  IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 1745
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 03, 2010 02:02 PM
WinkAway 
I remember. It was horrible. As to the revenge line.... quote:
1. When you are sad ~ I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry ******* who made you sad.
As anyone can see,
it said nothing about "NOT DOING IT", nor laughing... LIKE THIS REVISED LINE: quote:
i would have loved to be the one to sit with you and plot revenge we would never carry out until i could make you laugh.
Radical difference in intention/meaning betwixt the two versions.
The revised line even omits the getting drunk bit which is a bad mix with the words plot and revenge.
I would NOT have objected to the revised version as much. But I would still object because what if such action lead the upset person to actually act out the plotted revenge? ------------------
Everyone is a teacher...
Everyone is a student...
Learning is eternal.
}><}}(*>
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WinkAway
Knowflake Posts: 537
From: The great beyond
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 03, 2010 02:06 PM
Thank you LEXX
ahhh but who said anything about NOT carrying it out? LOL... kidding, kidding... 
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LEXX
Moderator Posts: 1745
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 03, 2010 02:12 PM
WinkAway
No, did not think you would take such action!
You would not lower yourself to his scaggy level.
Hope life is being kinder to you now.  PS. Thanks for clarifying that you were joking! I was able to laugh at your joke, knowing it was a joke! 
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Everyone is a teacher...
Everyone is a student...
Learning is eternal.
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cpn_edgar_winner
Knowflake Posts: 2316
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 03, 2010 04:46 PM
LEXX said - I have no reason to be embarrassed by you.
However I feel that by what you find funny..."clumsy falling people" for example, and so forth...that I would embarrass you, or I feel that even if you did not say so, that by what you find humorous....well that you you would be thinking "what a clumsy ass".
How can I feel otherwise?
You made it very clear that such things are funny to you.since you replied to every single word i said, I figured, I would at least try to be more thourough in my reply to you also.
one of my dear frineds, who i am currently making a rap/hip hop album with, is a quaropelegic, who has a ventillator and a tracheostomy, to breathe and not drown because he can not move from the neck down. surprisingly he is always in a good mood and upbeat despite his circumstances of being shot in the neck some 15 years ago, when he was innocently at the cash register during a gas station robbery. this friend of mine travels with much apparatus, and a full time nurse. he nor i have ever been "embarrassed" together in public. he is someone i admire much, mostly because of his totally positive attitude and the fact that in his adverse circumstances he always looks for the good. he in fact is doing most of the work on our music using a straw like thing he blows in to navigate through very detailed recording software that allows him to do a majority of the work the project. his van has been broke for months, he doesnt have much money, and has every right in this world to complain about the unfairness of things, seeing as he can't even breathe without a machine doing the work of his lungs. i know what a total struggle it is for him to even have someone dress him fully when i come over, which he always always manages to do, even knowing i could care less if he is dressed well or not. i am 100 percent sure he would tell you that i am not nor could ever be mean. even though we have been in some circumstances that had us both laughing to tears when caught in the rain and he couldn't reach his blower thing to make his wheelchair move and the mishaps we had trying to get him out of the rain. for some reason i don't think you would find it one bit funny, but it was spontaneous moment that at the time was funny to both of us. which loosely would fall under number 8. number 7. I wrote about being considerate when having airborne pathogens, as it could risk other peoples lives that may have immune systems compromised. do you or do you not agree? when sick it is best to contain yourself as to not compromise others health?
i don't see how expecting that is mean. at all. it was worded rather bluntly, but i don't consider it mean. I consider it mean to subject others to disease when you can avoid it. and in fact think it is inconsiderate to others to come to work sick even...and keep lysol in my office for just those occasions. it really surprises me that all of your friends considered that "mean". the only things i really consider "mean" are things deliberately done or said to hurt another individual. i think everyones definition of mean and funny are different. i am out of time for now. take care.
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WinkAway
Knowflake Posts: 537
From: The great beyond
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 03, 2010 05:08 PM
quote:
i think everyones definition of mean and funny are different.
very much agreed  Then again, I'm very hard to offend. IP: Logged |
cpn_edgar_winner
Knowflake Posts: 2316
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 03, 2010 05:22 PM
oh one more thing, i never thoguht you were in any way weak for breaking down. i have no idea where you got that from. everyone has ups and downs and sometimes a hard time dealing with the difficulties of life. myself included.i don't think i am the person or picture you have of me in your mind at all and i KNOW i am not the person or picture valus holds of me in his mind. i can't change that, so other than having open dialect to try to get past the invisible barriers, i can't do much about it.
valus and i ceased being able to do that, have open and productive dialect, preconcieved notions too much of a stronghold to breach. i would much rather spend my time productively and positively. things i can't change are not worth exerting energy into. i accept that. i don't believe for one minute that you and i have that kind of gap where communication is not productive. and i am glad i was able to cheer you up that day.  IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 1745
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 03, 2010 05:47 PM
cpn_edgar_winner
Thank you for clarifying.Firstly I shall respond to the contagious situation which by what you said, tells me you missed my take and my friends' take on that.
I said: quote:
I totally agree about airborne nasties.
However I would glove up and mask up...and have to help friends who were home bound and sick.
I would not visit anyone if I were ill.
I even took care of someone for 12 weeks and had my doctor put me on antibiotics so I would be safe. I have delivered food to sick folks....and more.
You said: quote:
number 7. I wrote about being considerate when having airborne pathogens, as it could risk other peoples lives that may have immune systems compromised. do you or do you not agree?
I did mot elaborate before but will now.
Of course I would NOT risk other people's lives that may have immune systems compromised! Case and point...a friend with cancer has a severely compromised immune system and we do not go near him when we are ill in even the slightest! That is unthinkable! Another case and point...my son had a bad heart and we had to wear gloves and masks often for over 8 years, and lysol like crazy,
yet my ex would infect him repeatedly during visitations (the original cause of the heart condition)and then at 16 he even had a heart attack after my ex's stepson gave my son Encephalitis.
So damn right it ****** me and my closest friends off when people are walking about like Typhoid Marys!
quote:
when sick it is best to contain yourself as to not compromise others health?
Indeed it is! And I have even gotten a reputation for being too paranoid about clean hands and all. Like the ladies at a church dinner with long fingernails preparing food...after I knew they had just changed their tampons or wiped their butts, and then did not wash their hands!
Did you know in hidden camera surveys that about 90% of people do not wash their hands after using a bathroom or before handling food?
Utterly disgusting!
And parents taking their green dripping snot nosed coughing sick kids in public! WTF are these people thinking?
quote:
i don't see how expecting that is mean. at all. it was worded rather bluntly, but i don't consider it mean. I consider it mean to subject others to disease when you can avoid it.
I totally agree! But get ridiculed by non friends for it! quote:
and in fact think it is inconsiderate to others to come to work sick even...and keep lysol in my office for just those occasions.
I totally agree! My husband goes nuts because the jerks at work keep spreading their germs around. quote:
it really surprises me that all of your friends considered that "mean".
I NEVER SAID THAT! NEVER NEVER NEVER!
Your rule was too vague.
It prohibited taking food to a home bound ill person or caring for one. It sounded like "stay away from me oh fowl demon of germs!" until you get well or die! Yes I agree with not making others ill.
However I would not avoid an ill person if there was no other way... because sometimes one is needed to be around the sick to care for them. I also said: quote:
I even took care of someone for 12 weeks and had my doctor put me on antibiotics so I would be safe.
OK...need a break. will reply later to your other part about your friend.
You again got me wrong. Will explain later.
And your explanation made sense and is appreciated.
Your rule was too blunt and I see that you would not call him (or anyone) a clumsy ass.
But the rule by being so bluntly vague appeared cold and unkind, and is still not funny. Later. ------------------
Everyone is a teacher...
Everyone is a student...
Learning is eternal.
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LEXX
Moderator Posts: 1745
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 03, 2010 06:32 PM
cpn
I still need to reply to the rest of your post but just saw the new post and will reply to it in full later too.
For now a response to part of it:
quote:
i don't believe for one minute that you and i have that kind of gap where communication is not productive.
I totally agree! 
I actually love trying to communicate and understand others!
Unless the other(s) is/are too bullheaded to even try.....I will try.
In fact in my offline life I am seen as exceedingly adaptable and tolerant, as long as communication and calm discussions can be had and the other(s) do not try to force themselves, their way is the only way, or whatever upon me.
I am also known as being very forgiving, too forgiving some say.
So much of who we are does not come across here at forums.
It is hard without the physical cues/vibes and body language and voice/tones.
LOL!
I suspect in person we just possibly might be able to crack each other up! OK...got to go for a bit. ------------------
Everyone is a teacher...
Everyone is a student...
Learning is eternal.
}><}}(*>
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cpn_edgar_winner
Knowflake Posts: 2316
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 03, 2010 08:46 PM
i love you lexx.sorry i missed what you wrote about the airborne pathogens. totally agree with you. i imagine we would get on well and have fun in real life. and with my friend i was talking about, so many people tell him they will come over and visit and stuff and then never show up never call, and he acts like it doesnt bother him, but i can tell it does, i always try to keep that in mind when he and i make plans, getting stuck in the rain with me and having mishaps at least made him feel so alive, you know. he's a pretty awesome person. but that day he couldnt reach his blower thing, so i disengaed the chair to push it, then he got to his blower thing i had disconnect it, then slipped in the mudd and ruined some cute outfit...we were a pretty pathetic pair, his nurse was no help at all, he was laughing to hard to be any help at all! 5 minutes after we get inside it quits raining. go figure. if i learned nothing else from this it is when i re-post something someone sent me, i should clarify that it was passed on and not my words. you remind me so unbelievably much of my dear aunt. almost eerily. i miss her so much. IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 1745
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 03, 2010 10:50 PM
I love you too cpn.
I feel very honored that I remind you of your dear aunt.
Forgive me but my offline world has kept me busy this evening, so will reply tomorrow after the follow up with the oral surgeon.
Sweet dreams!  ------------------
Everyone is a teacher...
Everyone is a student...
Learning is eternal.
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Lindaland
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