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Author
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Topic: LL Men--What Do You Think Of FWB?
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LEXX
Moderator Posts: 6884
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 16, 2011 07:53 PM
  
You're welcome NickiG.
One more thing;
Never ever assume you know where another stands on things.
Like assuming someone loves you.
That assumption if ends up not being true, or the one you love has a different view or take on what love is.....
Well that is a heartbreak just waiting to happen.
So yeah follow your heart but do not assume without proof that the guy feels the same.
Communicate communicate communicate honest and openly with each other.IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 11012
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 16, 2011 07:58 PM
You really have no right to say who he can or cannot see or be with in a FWB relationship.------------------
"To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing." Aristotle IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 6884
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 16, 2011 08:12 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
You really have no right to say who he can or cannot see or be with in a FWB relationship.
OK, it all depends on what kind of FWB deal they make.
Is it the plural FRIENDS or the singular FRIEND with benefits?
I have had the singular and the plural form.
Two people can agree to be monogamous friends having sex with each other.
I know of folks who do that with one good friend.
It is like for example:
Hello George, this is Betty, would you be interested in getting it on tonight?
Or room mates...(George knock knock on Betty's bedroom door,
hey Betty, would you like some company in there?
George and Betty are not in love with each other but are friends.
They choose the safety of a mutual monogamous sexual arrangement, with no dramas nor dangers of disease.
Some such still date but only have sex with each other. If one or both do find a real mate, then one or each goes their separate ways.
IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 11012
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 16, 2011 09:44 PM
I see what you're saying, and I guess people can agree to whatever terms they want to...as in monogomous sex...but I think ultimately the emphasis is on the word friends--meaning that either party can date and pursue a relationship possibility in the meantime (with or without sex, of course), and neither party should be offended at that if it happens.IP: Logged |
NickiG
Moderator Posts: 4119
From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted August 16, 2011 10:15 PM
ok now, dont turn this into the biggest debate since thanksgiving  ------------------
I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate? when organic is used to describe food then you know we have come to a dark age in history IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 11012
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 16, 2011 11:36 PM
Otherwise, it's really not a FWB. It's really a relationship. Or a relationship in denial.  But that's my opinion.IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Moderator Posts: 5473
From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street..
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 17, 2011 01:18 AM
It IS a blurry line.
IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 6884
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 17, 2011 01:22 AM
quote:
Originally posted by GypseeWind:
It IS a blurry line.
It can be.------------------
~I remember, therefore I am immortal~LEXX
~The present time is theirs, but the future is mine.~Никола Тесла
~"You have to be willing to give up the life you've planned for in order to live the life that's waiting for you." ~Joseph Campbell
}><}}('>~ IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 6884
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 17, 2011 01:29 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
Otherwise, it's really not a FWB. It's really a relationship. Or a relationship in denial. But that's my opinion.
The folks I referred to want sex safely with someone until they find each the person they want long term. It is not a relationship in denial at all. The two friends
having sex are not interested in being more than friends because they just know their lives are too different for that. They date others but only because they do want to find the right mate or simply to socialize. And as I said, its agreed to end the sex once one or both find a person they want to have a serious relationship with. In the situation I mentioned, the woman is a career woman who simply wants safe sex but has no intentions of every marrying as she simply has no desire or time to devote to being a wife. She is "married" to her career but of course still wants sex.
I hope that made sense.------------------
~I remember, therefore I am immortal~LEXX
~The present time is theirs, but the future is mine.~Никола Тесла
~"You have to be willing to give up the life you've planned for in order to live the life that's waiting for you." ~Joseph Campbell
}><}}('>~ IP: Logged |
rajji
Moderator Posts: 970
From:
Registered: Jan 2011
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posted August 17, 2011 01:32 AM
Ami since you are asking a man's opinion i would like to contribute that though there are exceptions to every rule however stats say that in FWB relationships atleast 8 out of 10 were proposed by the man first.
So I came to the conclusion that it was probably invented by a man.
This is a very detrimental relationship in the long run and the benefits are relatively few.
As a woman I would never assume that for most woman it is possible to just sleep with a guy and then Scream-Well,that was FUN!
I really dont think a Woman can even pretend to have evolved to have sex like a man who has no problem in separating emotions and expectations form sex.
So basically what im trying to say is women arent naturally wired to have sex without strings aka FWB realtionship even if they do it is only in the hope of eventually turning it around into a Real Relationship
So I guess it is no use asking a man for an earnest opinion.
IP: Logged |
dysfunctionalmystic
Moderator Posts: 665
From:
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 17, 2011 07:24 AM
As a girl...I've had FWB in my younger years, I kind of have one now. However, I wasn't in love with any of them. I liked them as people, we got on, but it was a gap filler for me (and them) and as Lexx has mentioned, it's better than having to go out to a club or whatever else or at least it is for me. I don't like (nor have the time) to go out on the pull , so a fwb can be a good thing. I think Randall as given some seriously honest advice. I don't have an issue with the whole fwb thing but I wouldn't recommend it if there were feelings involved or at the very least - you both need to make it very clear on the expectations of one another. I think the intentions of people involved need to be understood clearly. And I can't stress that enough. There's no way I could have casual sex with someone I had feelings for..I just couldn't do it. I'm not convinced on the whole separation from love/sex thing, I know people say that men can do it and women can't but to me that's a denial in action. IP: Logged |
mir
Knowflake Posts: 601
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 17, 2011 08:23 AM
Ok, now I know what a FWB is...  I admit I was a bit shocked about the meaning behind this term, like; wow man, this MUST be a form of denial to one of them (mostly women ofcourse). Raji.. you worded it sooo well, exactly what I was thinking! But okay, although very hard to believe there can be exceptions to the rule, well, I got my proof here  IP: Logged |
Venus
Moderator Posts: 478
From:
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted August 17, 2011 08:26 AM
how can sex be casual? sex is like the most intimate and sincere thing between people, how can it be casual?!casual sex is a paradox, just like the term civil war, "whats so civil 'bout war anyway.. (quoting axel rose)" IP: Logged |
mir
Knowflake Posts: 601
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 17, 2011 09:18 AM
Recently my (ex-) pisces said to me; "We can stay just friends and my grandfather once said to me that friends can have SEX too"I almost can't tell how deeply flabbergasted I was when I heard these words... At that moment I could only ridicule him by laughing at it but the REAL emotions came to the surface a few days later,.. too much to tell  IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 18887
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 17, 2011 09:21 AM
quote:
Originally posted by NickiG:
ok now, dont turn this into the biggest debate since thanksgiving
YOU did it IP: Logged |
NickiG
Moderator Posts: 4119
From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted August 17, 2011 09:42 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
YOU did it
i only started the discussion ------------------
I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate? when organic is used to describe food then you know we have come to a dark age in history IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 11012
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 17, 2011 10:33 AM
It makes total sense, LEXX. But when one party is in love with the other--and all the other wants is sex--that's not the same thing at all. The one party will always be hoping for more and hurt if that doesn't manifest. ------------------
"To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing." Aristotle IP: Logged |
Mblake81
Knowflake Posts: 1659
From:
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted August 17, 2011 10:37 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
 IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 18887
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 17, 2011 10:39 AM
edit IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 18887
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 17, 2011 10:41 AM
Mblake
Your humor is getting more cutting edge Darling
I knew you had that wild eccentricity in you
Sun conjunct Uranus  ------------------
Want to see an awesome Psychic?
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 18887
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 17, 2011 10:45 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
It makes total sense, LEXX. But when one party is in love with the other--and all the other wants is sex--that's not the same thing at all. The one party will always be hoping for more and hurt if that doesn't manifest.
YES I love truth when I hear it.It does something to my body and soul.It sings in a way that I feel centered.
IP: Logged |
mir
Knowflake Posts: 601
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 17, 2011 11:41 AM
I wanted to surprise you with a nice truth- quote Ami..but let the big surprise be; There are TOO many nice ones! IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 18887
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 17, 2011 12:44 PM
quote:
Originally posted by mir:
I wanted to surprise you with a nice truth- quote Ami..but let the big surprise be; There are TOO many nice ones!
Hi Mir
How are you? If you ever want to write and talk in a private format ,please e mail.Look at the top of the forum and you can e mail me.
Be well Darling
I would love to hear from you ------------------
Want to see an awesome Psychic?
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
ghanima81
Moderator Posts: 705
From: Maine
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 17, 2011 01:21 PM
It's completely situational and case specific. Gyps, yours sounds like my current situation. Minus the end result of husband. LOL. Just in the early stages of "i don't want serious atm, but let's just feel things together if we get a moment". IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 6884
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 17, 2011 02:33 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
It makes total sense, LEXX. But when one party is in love with the other--and all the other wants is sex--that's not the same thing at all. The one party will always be hoping for more and hurt if that doesn't manifest.
Oh I totally agree! Both MUST be on same wavelength or it is a recipe for heartbreak for the one who wants more.
And is definitely NOT for anyone in love.
Oh you can love each other but not have the being IN LOVE.
That being "IN LOVE" state just does not work in a platonic sex for just fun or relief situation.
I speak from much experience on such.------------------
~I remember, therefore I am immortal~LEXX
~The present time is theirs, but the future is mine.~Никола Тесла
~"You have to be willing to give up the life you've planned for in order to live the life that's waiting for you." ~Joseph Campbell
}><}}('>~ IP: Logged |
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