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Author
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Topic: Now that I finally found someone, he's dying :((
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Geocosmic* Valentine
Knowflake Posts: 1191
From: New York, NY
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 19, 2011 04:15 PM
  
Ami Anne,I didn't know that either and I'm also sorry for your loss. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 29224
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 19, 2011 04:15 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Geocosmic* Valentine:
That's beautiful, the optimism.  And yes, sometimes it's better to just to have someone there with you, even in the silence. 
Yes grief needs silence cuz there are no words.It is wordless and hence most words seem cheap 
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Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 29224
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 19, 2011 04:17 PM
Thank you Geo
I appreciate that. I don't want this to be about me other than the fact that I am someone who knows grief intimately.
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MertSerimer
Knowflake Posts: 936
From: where the fun is
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted August 19, 2011 04:23 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Hera:
Hello all... I write heartbroken. I can barely breathe. I don't know what to make of this, how I should react, what I should do. Thoughts come in and out of my head, which is spinning. My boyfriend since 9 days ago has told me he has a potentially fatal illness. It could be cured with brain surgery, except he decided not to have it. He wants to go through this alone. He said he had a hard life and even though he's not suicidal, he doesn't want to fight this, for reasons he wouldn't disclose. He could die any minute... He doesn't want to talk to me about it, he said this is his problem and doesn't want me to assume it... I reacted badly. I was angry and upset and said harsh things... I called him a coward. I think he's ending things with me... He would have done it any way, since he chose not to live... This is making me choke. I told him I want to be there for him and that he shouldn't be alone in this and he rejected me. I told him to have the surgery, he said he made up his mind and end of discussion... I'm still in shock. I still cannot believe it. Even though our relationship is recent, it is very intense and I believe we love each other a lot. I still hope this is a lie or a nightmare. I still hope he will come around and change his mind about the surgery. I still hope he will decide to fight this. Please help... I don't know what to do, what to think, how to react further. I might have messed things up already. The last thing he needed was my bad attitude... but I was so frustrated with his resignation to life, to his future... to us...
I'm selfish, I don't want to let him go... not even to death. Not with his agreement. Not like this. I feel like I'm in a really bad soap opera. But I forgot how dramatic life can be sometimes, much more than the movies. How the hell am I supposed to go on now??? Now that I'm sure I love him, that he's probably the one I've been searching for my whole life?? Any kind of reading or advice is welcome. Any kind of guidance...
Sorry for your POSSIBLE loss.... First be sure if he is healthy enough to give a decision like that... If yes, you should live with him fully to the last breathe. If not;
What would you feel if you know that you have the chance to persuade him for surgery? You have to convince him no matter what. Maybe you are the savior of him. Maybe your efforts will save him... I think even he made up his mind, you should find a way to change it. He is sick so he may not be in a condition to DECIDE wisely.. Maybe he gave up on himself but you should not.... Human lives once, you BOTH should live it, NOT waste it. He got moon in 8th house. It is like moon/pluto aspect natally(so x2).So he is genius in crisis moments. He can change or transform for the better. He has the ability to do it. He has got venus sextile Jupiter and Venus in second house. He can easily gain money and live in wealth. Another small reason to live. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 29224
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 19, 2011 04:36 PM
Mert
You are so dear.I know I say that all the time but I can't help myself!IP: Logged |
Hera
Knowflake Posts: 1245
From: the OR
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 19, 2011 05:50 PM
We talked the whole night. It was warm and nice... He changed the subject at some point with a funny comment (he's such a Sag... and I really admire his strength to make jokes at a time like this) and I let him. He sounded better before going to bed. I think this was good for both of us...I'm the only one who knows about this. I'm going to sleep too. I feel drained out... Thank you all! I'll keep you posted. IP: Logged |
Dreamy_AriesGirl
Knowflake Posts: 188
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 20, 2011 05:54 AM
Im very sorry about it, Girl!
But, do not lose your faith and optimism under any circumstances! Just listen to your heart, and to the wise advices you have been recieved! Im not an astrologer or any kind of expert as you know, but i think if he decides to fight with his illness, then he really has the chance to survive and change his life for the better. I dont really know what to say, but I tell you a story.
I know a girl of my age who last year went through a similar situation as your boyfriend. She has been seriously ill for many months, but she didnt really want to fight with it, and unfortunately she got worse and worse. I've always believed in Angels and their amazing healing power, so I gave my favourite book about Angels to this girl, cause I REALLY believed that even having that book close to her can help her. Few days after that, she had to be taken to the hospital again, and doctors told her mother that they had arrived at the very last moment. She was between life and death for days, but then she started to get better and eventually she survived! And now, like 6 month after her major battle, she is healthy,looks amazing and she is ready to start a new life Of course, Im not saying that it was the book that saved her, but faith can do miracles, so never lose hope! On the other hand, be sure that you're selfish enough to listen to yourself and your own needs also, not just his.
many hugs
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Hera
Knowflake Posts: 1245
From: the OR
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 20, 2011 06:19 AM
Hello, everyone... Thank you for your support. It seems like it was a false alarm. He said the lab called him this morning and said they switched the envelopes... I find it extremely suspicious. I think he was lying about the illness in the first place, or at least he exagerated it completely. He said he had a CT scan, it's almost impossible to mix patients because their NAMES are on the sheets and the films. He doesn't want to give me details, which makes me even more suspicious. He said why do I care, it's over now. And the lab calling him on Saturday morning??? Just after he gave me the news?? WTF??? If this was a lie, I'm so dumping his lame a$$. Putting me through this... is just cruel. No words. IP: Logged |
Hera
Knowflake Posts: 1245
From: the OR
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 20, 2011 06:29 AM
Someone from another forum said his chart looks like the chart of a psychopath and a pathological liar...
Is this true??
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Hera
Knowflake Posts: 1245
From: the OR
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 20, 2011 06:40 AM
It is over. I confrunted him about it. He said he's gonna show me the test results next week and then we're done. ........................
Sometimes I think my love life is one gigantic sick joke.
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Dreamy_AriesGirl
Knowflake Posts: 188
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 20, 2011 06:43 AM
Uhh...Well, with Neptune conjuntc Mercury, he can surely make up stories. He's going to have some very hard transits around october-november, so maybe an other possible explanation is that his illness is real, but he doesnt want to deal with it at all, nor talk abouot it, so he's trying to escape from it? Its just a guess though.
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Dreamy_AriesGirl
Knowflake Posts: 188
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 20, 2011 06:49 AM
Hugs, Girl! You have to keep your faith in love and in a suitable partner no matter what. I know its hard, but you have to do it for yourself! IP: Logged |
Hera
Knowflake Posts: 1245
From: the OR
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 20, 2011 06:54 AM
Thank you, honey. It was a lie for sure. He's now ignoring me, playing the offended card. I so don't care. He's not going to show me his lab results, I'm sure. It was all a big, fat, sick, cruel joke. God, I surely know how to pick 'em, don't I??? IP: Logged |
Hera
Knowflake Posts: 1245
From: the OR
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 20, 2011 07:15 AM
I don't think there was any illness at all. I asked him about his symptoms, he said this was a routine check-up for work. Pardon me, but I have never seen brain CTs being done routinely for work. Too expensive. I just checked asteroid Lie in his chart. Pisces 5. Trine his Asc, square Venus. Clear as crystal. Chiron is around that degree. Lying about being sick. What a jerk. And a pretty stupid one... Of all the people to lie about being sick, he chose a doctor. LOOOL.
Yeah, I saw the Mercury-neptune conjunction. It raised a flag, but hey, I have the trine. I'm not gonna go around calling every Mercury-Neptune person out there a liar. Should have checked asteroids.
Probably for the best, his Nessus was right on my DC, squaring my Mercury (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and widely (4 deg) squaring my Dejanira. IP: Logged |
abcd efg
Knowflake Posts: 1118
From: India
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted August 20, 2011 07:25 AM
Are you really sure Hera which one is the lie? I mean have you cross checked with the lab or something? Btw is his chart timing also a lie? Anyways do whatever you do with a cool head.IP: Logged |
Hera
Knowflake Posts: 1245
From: the OR
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 20, 2011 07:32 AM
dpIP: Logged |
Hera
Knowflake Posts: 1245
From: the OR
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 20, 2011 07:33 AM
He didn't give me the name of the lab, though I asked, and even if he did, the lab wouldn't disclose his info to me. It's unethical and illegal. His results are confidential.
I have no way to verify it, except by seeing the lab tests. If he will ever show them to me.
There's nothing left to do. It is over. If it was a lie, clearly I don't want anything to do with him. If it wasn't, he has every right to be offended and want nothing to do with me. So it's done either way. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 29224
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 20, 2011 08:31 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Hera:
He didn't give me the name of the lab, though I asked, and even if he did, the lab wouldn't disclose his info to me. It's unethical and illegal. His results are confidential.
I have no way to verify it, except by seeing the lab tests. If he will ever show them to me.
There's nothing left to do. It is over. If it was a lie, clearly I don't want anything to do with him. If it wasn't, he has every right to be offended and want nothing to do with me. So it's done either way.
Oh MY Goodness.What was your history with this man from beginning to end? IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 29224
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 20, 2011 11:18 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Hera:
I don't think there was any illness at all. I asked him about his symptoms, he said this was a routine check-up for work. Pardon me, but I have never seen brain CTs being done routinely for work. Too expensive. I just checked asteroid Lie in his chart. Pisces 5. Trine his Asc, square Venus. Clear as crystal. Chiron is around that degree. Lying about being sick. What a jerk. And a pretty stupid one... Of all the people to lie about being sick, he chose a doctor. LOOOL.
Yeah, I saw the Mercury-neptune conjunction. It raised a flag, but hey, I have the trine. I'm not gonna go around calling every Mercury-Neptune person out there a liar. Should have checked asteroids.
Probably for the best, his Nessus was right on my DC, squaring my Mercury (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and widely (4 deg) squaring my Dejanira.
Just saw this. Was gonna ask about Nessus.
Is Mercury/Neptune classic for lying not that everyone is of course.
You may want to check the Asteroids Lie and Swindle. There are others of that nature too.
I am sorry you had to endure this IP: Logged |
lechien
Knowflake Posts: 1980
From: in a giant room with 2 little furry friends
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 20, 2011 11:45 AM
who would do that...!? i cannot believe how demented he is, if it was a lie. i'm so sorry for the heartbreak you had to endure, Hera. hope things become clear.IP: Logged |
Geocosmic* Valentine
Knowflake Posts: 1191
From: New York, NY
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 20, 2011 12:21 PM
If his Ascendant is anywhere between where you rectified it and the recommendation that I made, then I stand by what I originally said about his chart, but if the timing is off any more than that, then too much changes and I wouldn't be able to tell you, I wouldn't even try.My only suggestion is to think about the quality of person he was before this whole scenario began. Are you ordinarily able to trust the men who have been in your life? Did he seem like a quality person in your eyes? If he did, then consider that he might be going through severe psychological changes right now and this could be the denial portion. In terms lying and how it looks in a chart and why people do it, remember that on a psychological level it is a form of self defense, whether he's defending his own mind from thoughts of his illness or whether he's decided he feels he needs to protect you from the feelings he thinks he may have caused you with his condition. There's so much more to all of this than simple surface reaction. The fact that he keeps so much hidden (8th House Moon) is a huge indicator that you may always have difficulty getting information out of him. The Neptune-Mercury conjunction also helps to confuse communication whether suggesting lies or unclear communication. I just suggest using your common sense. Even though he may be terminally ill, he's still a person, treat him like a person NOT a "dying" person. IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9742
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 20, 2011 01:14 PM
Hera{{{hugs}}}
Something senses off here.
Until you see the actual test results you cannot be sure of the truth or untruth of his situation. 
Either way, his reluctance to talk with a fellow doctor/surgeon seems strange to me.
He may have made it up.
He may not have made it up and now is lying about the tests being switched.And if he truly has something physically wrong with his brain;
he might not be able to think clearly and so who knows what is true without seeing his actual test results? If I pick up anything specific and for sure, I will let you know.
I do get that he is ill, but in what way, physically or mentally, cannot ascertain.
I get a miasma, a confusion feeling, and oddly a sense of paranoia about him,
so feel yes, something feels very wrong.
OK...this just popped in.
I see a study or other not brightly lit room.
I see a bankers lamp.
I see him reading and signing lots of papers.
He stops, puts his hands in his hands,
then gets up and walks out of room.
I have no idea what that may mean.
It's just what came through.
An added feeling of pressure, frustration and resignation too.
I also got some names which may be just a false lead.
"Kevin" or "Kenneth" and "Blaine"
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~I remember, therefore I am immortal~LEXX
~The present time is theirs, but the future is mine.~Никола Тесла
~"You have to be willing to give up the life you've planned for in order to live the life that's waiting for you." ~Joseph Campbell
}><}}('>~
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Geocosmic* Valentine
Knowflake Posts: 1191
From: New York, NY
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 20, 2011 01:20 PM
Hello LEXX,Wow, am I glad to see you, especially for this situation. Awesome. I hope you're doing well. Geocosmic Valentine IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9742
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 20, 2011 01:27 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Geocosmic* Valentine:
Hello LEXX,Wow, am I glad to see you, especially for this situation. Awesome. I hope you're doing well. Geocosmic Valentine
Hello dearheart
I am doing better than recently. My world still in super chaos and hardship but physically somewhat better.
Thank you for caring.
Ahhh yes, this situation just hit me as one I am supposed to look into and see what I could sense.
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~I remember, therefore I am immortal~LEXX
~The present time is theirs, but the future is mine.~Никола Тесла
~"You have to be willing to give up the life you've planned for in order to live the life that's waiting for you." ~Joseph Campbell
}><}}('>~ IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9742
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 20, 2011 01:36 PM
This situation is really pinging me.
I will return and comment if I get anything.Hera
E-mail me if you wish.
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