posted April 23, 2013 07:55 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I just have one question, Why are decent guys expected to be ok with being ignored for a whole decade? People tell me all the time (especially older women) that women "wise up" by the time they are 30 and start seeking out decent guys.Just being honest when I say i'm not ok with that.

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Many of us here have spent a heck of a lot of time counselling you and trying to get you to look at things differently.

You continue to mostly ignore it all and come back repeating the same things over and over again. We have heard it all before.

So, I kindly ask you to repeat them in the countless other threads floating about out there. This is not the place for you to repeat what you have said a million times.

posted April 23, 2013 08:00 PM            

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Originally posted by ail221:
Yes I am tired of the "bad boys" tirade. The "bad boy" trope is one of those symbols that should have died out with the phrase "from the wrong side of the tracks". None of my friends have a continuously dated "bad boys" at least to their or my knowledge. I find that most men who claim women are only going after one type of man usually is lacking in the self-esteem department (either their appearance, finances or educational background) and as a result revert to the default of women only want "bad boys" when the reality is they need to accept the side of themselves that is unappealing to the opposite sex.

For the most part, my friends date real good guys that happen to be attractive, attentive and secure in themselves. Sure there are times when things go sour and both parties have a negative view of one another but nothing to the degree of he was abusive, or stole from them, or used them things that horrible.

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posted April 23, 2013 08:04 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
@kerosene, of course its always about the guy and his insecurities...... I suppose all the women I see everyday dating :cheaters/players, druggies, guys without jobs, guys with criminal records, guys who are emotionally and/or physically abusive to women etc. are just a figment of my imagination. Yep , i'm delusional and none of that exists... i guess i'm spineless for calling it like i see it.

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Thats so immature aquaguy -_-
You need to grow up.
Girls who date scumbags aren't really gems either.

I bet you only go for those really pretty but vapid/shallow girls.
Thats why you're still single.
I know some amazingly nice and lovely girls I can totally see you with.
They may not be skinny beauty queens but their personalities are flawless.

posted April 23, 2013 08:09 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
This deserves a repeat on page 2.

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posted April 23, 2013 08:11 PM            

I'm fairly impatient about the things I have to do and things I want to do/have. So, good or bad I wasn't labeling anyone anything back then, they did a good job of making themselves into whichever they truly were in the end. I seem to attract more "bad boys" than good... Far as I'm aware it has to do with those naughty types seeing me as youthful and corruptible (some primitive part of their brains - the same part that makes them such bullies usually no doubt), part of it is that "good guys" tend to find I have too much moxy, and I'm too headstrong or *gasp* (lil me) intimidating! I credit this to my Mercury-Moon (Virgo/Taurus) making me appear more fragile than I ever could be, and my Mars-Pluto, Saturn (Scorpio) aspects beaming out through my no-bs personality when dealing with certain types of people. I tend to always pine away for the "good guy" the true-blue good guys, not the "poor me" good guys, but sensible, respectable, solid men. *sigh*

It was all more of a problem when I was a teenager, I let those "bad boys" who all needed years to mature since they were simply not supposed to be boys at all at their ages (I dated much older than peers) have a chance, and even enjoyed the chaos and drama during that time. I think a lot of young girls/women go through that nonsense... rebellion. Lots of teenagers go through it of any orientation... Mine was more about pushing boundaries for freedom and looking for truth out there to explain those silly boundaries that I couldn't comprehend... Venus cnj Uranus (Sag). I have no idea how I could have avoided that phase, even if I tried, good guys ran for the hills or had impossibly high standards that they used to compete with their buddies and please their parents more than themselves. So too bad for them anyway... >.>; (whah? it's true...) and for every one of them good guy types that approached me after our academic years were over and through, as though they now finally had time for the likes of headstrong me, and were bored with their primadonna flaketards and pleasing of others, there are at least 3 of the not so great guys who gave me far more good memories and happiness even where things never manifested into a real relationship...

good guys are often not so great as they make themselves appear, bad guys aren't nearly as bad or hard arse as they want to appear, and the normal fellas who live in the moment instead of putting up some false advertising are really where it's at. lol

My husband likes to play the bad act from time to time... he's still a momma's boy though, he's extremely charitable, has so much social anxiety you actually feel it for him when out together, he has "me so macho" self image, that never really leaves the house/car so it's more a private show of peacock feathers than anything else... anyway, he's pretty normal.~shrug~ lol

I never got the real good guy I had my eyes on all through middle to high school, but at least he proved that there were such lovely men out there, even if he was an impossible Aqua. >.<; lol ~once in a blue moon, a good guy really is a good guy... and not just some mythological creature, eh~

Most of the guys I am friends with are awesome, all of them are good to the women in their lives. The men in my family (except two of my older male cousins) are extremely old fashioned in courtship. (I exclude two because the one is extremely racist, and the other is a total schmoozer). lol

None are perfect, not even my kid brother, he can be quite poetic from time to time, but there's an irrational coldness there that he doesn't seem to have control over yet, so he tends to say harsh things to lady-friends that he doesn't quite mean... then, thinks back on what he said and kicks himself for it... /sigh

My galfriends are almost all settled down now, some on their 2nd marriage/committed partner though~ (eh life...) The guys in their lives now all seem pretty normal, which I count as better than good or bad, it's a mix of the two... they're human, so are the ladies, right? At least most of them are! XD (Iunno tho - you Pisces, Aqua, and Scorpion ladies are hard to peg... hmmmm...) *ponderponderponder*

You gotta go through that rebelliousness, just for kicks/sowin oats phase before you really let the other stallions (fillies) catch your eye, sometimes. Some chicks never get it (lazy, I used "chicks" sawwy). I have a few of those in my family too. Driven to serial dating bad guys for the half imagined sense of danger in their "naughty" mate, mostly because they fear actual commitment and don't value themselves as highly as they should and because well... they're f-g bored... lol It only makes me laugh. Sometimes you want to shake em a bit, "wake up" errr... "grow up!"? (no? >.>; just me? <.< )???

I don't care for the cliche that "good guys never get the girl" I don't care for the idea that there are that many good or bad guys to begin with, both are a minority. both ranks are filled with "posers". Real men, and gentlemen are all that really matters...

When I judge a man, I save it until he either commits some grand offense against me or my convictions (or my family - yes I have a sore spot), or, and most often, til I see how he acts towards his mother/eldermost important women in his life. I despise a man who treats his mother/grandmother poorly, who lies and disrespects her, I've seen a LOT of good guys fail right here and a lot of supposed bad men behave with the utmost respect. And, no... I know if they are putting on an angel act around mama or when they are uncomfortably close, experience and observation are on my side... lol Dealing with men who are too close and dependent or depended on by mama are as big a nuisance as good/bad ones! HAH!

I know I'm the odd one out~ and you can argue about good/bad guys winning/losing til the cows come home, but I really don't have time for that. I like reality... and I've found so few of the good/bad types exist in reality that so many of those who pretend to be either are only trying to sell you something and convince themselves that they have something over/under the other guy (some excuse to be however they want/for their success/failures or whatever)... both are out of touch ideas... bad guys suck, good guys suck - normal guys though, they're the bees knees, mixed goods, and at least 50% more reliable than those pretending they have more goodness or toughness than the next guy. lol

total Cap-Sag when it comes to my romantic ambitions and views. ~__~ I don't care~
But, the "good guys always lose" mentality is lame... it should be said, "good guys always give up" bad guys keep at it but you get sick of them sooner or later anyway, or they of you... so it doesn't matter. ^^; (sad but true!~)

no grammatical attention today whatsoever~ and not up for editing~ ^^; *technical difficulties* (not an excuse~ lol honest!)

<3

posted April 23, 2013 08:12 PM            

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
Thats so immature aquaguy -_-
You need to grow up.
Girls who date scumbags aren't really gems either.

I bet you only go for those really pretty but vapid/shallow girls.
Thats why you're still single.
I know some amazingly nice and lovely girls I can totally see you with.
They may not be skinny beauty queens but their personalities are flawless.

If your work on that poor opinion of yourself and women and your love life will drastically improve.

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posted April 23, 2013 08:13 PM            

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Originally posted by mercuranian:
simply, we date who we're attracted to. the end.

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posted April 23, 2013 08:17 PM            

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Originally posted by Randall:
Agreed. I think it's all about perception. Maybe when there's an attraction, the woman can't see that he is a jerk. I see more women with jerks than not, and to me and to most guys it's fairly obvious when a guy is a total DB.

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posted April 23, 2013 08:20 PM            

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Originally posted by Randall:
Agreed. I think it's all about perception. Maybe when there's an attraction, the woman can't see that he is a jerk. I see more women with jerks than not, and to me and to most guys it's fairly obvious when a guy is a total DB.

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posted April 23, 2013 08:31 PM            

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Originally posted by Randall:
Yeah, Aquaguy, and when a chick is dating a total loser, she tends to pay for everything. My friend used to manage a movie theatre, and I stood at the front watching. Over and over again, an obvious DB shows up with his gf who almost always pays.

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posted April 23, 2013 08:34 PM            

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
@aquaguy
She was obviously not looking for a stable relationship and just an F-buddy. Anyways she was not a nice person.
I know a girl that would totally not do that.
She's a virgo with a libra moon.
I wish I could hook you guys up because she's always single and guys always blow off because she's "too nice".

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posted April 23, 2013 09:21 PM            

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Originally posted by Dee:
The bad boys i dated turned out to be very wealthy.
The man i married i thought to be a good guy turned out to be a SCHMUCK!

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posted April 23, 2013 09:27 PM            

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Originally posted by Dee:
The bad boys i dated turned out to be very wealthy.
The man i married i thought to be a good guy turned out to be a SCHMUCK!

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That is an interesting statement. Most badboys I know have been broke, moochers.

You said they "turned out to be very wealthy"....I am assuming they did not flaunt their wealth at the beginning? Most people don't ...or can't hide such a thing.

anyway....I think I can get your point....

that wealth or poverty does not make a good or bad man.

posted April 23, 2013 09:32 PM            

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good guys are often not so great as they make themselves appear, bad guys aren't nearly as bad or hard arse as they want to appear, and the normal fellas who live in the moment instead of putting up some false advertising are really where it's at. lol

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No truer words.

Reminds me of something hanna said in another thread. Might find it and put it in here later.

Yes, the 'normal fellas who live in the moment instead of putting up some false advertising are really where it's at.

posted April 23, 2013 09:36 PM            

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Originally posted by Randall:
Agreed. I think it's all about perception. Maybe when there's an attraction, the woman can't see that he is a jerk. I see more women with jerks than not, and to me and to most guys it's fairly obvious when a guy is a total DB.

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Unfortunatly she doesnt see it right away, but usually eventually does. Hopefully not before it's too late. When that happens, hopefully it's a phenomenal learning lessson she never repeats. A 'gift' she can carry with her, one that can help her, for the rest of her life.

I realize that a couple of you guys here see more women dating jerks than not, but as i am trying to point out, that just isnt true for the most part.

posted April 23, 2013 09:38 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
The best guys finish first.

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posted April 23, 2013 09:49 PM            

Thankfully it doesnt happen often.

posted April 23, 2013 09:51 PM            

Having said that, I've met more rich schmucks than I have met rich great guys. And I've met more broke gentlemen than I have met broke ***** .

posted April 23, 2013 10:53 PM            

As an extreme example I know a guy who didn't practice cleanliness (he'd literally buy new clothes rather than wash what he had), drink a lot of beer, had rotted teeth from terrible habits (from what he ate, drank, and smoked, plus the lack of hygiene again), was large and thought stalking was "cute" (and confused & angry when he got another restraining order), had a terrible family, slept on a puke-stained mattress for decades because he had to save his money for more weapons and body armor (and practiced such safety with them like when he damaged some of his cabinets while shooting his crossbow while drunk thinking it was funny but didn't understand why women found that disturbing), and yet the reason women didn't like him was because he was "nice." He was so "nice" that he refused a woman moving next door when she asked him if he'd help her get the couch inside because he knew "she wouldn't sleep with me for it" (brilliant, Holmes, and if she did sleep with you for it then better use super protection) and he "wasn't a chump." That is, he thought if he helped her move a couch in that she OWED him sex, but bitter experience taught him he'd get ripped off for "being nice."