posted October 05, 2013 05:11 PM            

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Oh I see, if this was a log, only one end of it need be carried.

And do keep in mind mi boyo, by your own standard your awesome wife never should have married you.

One was broke and w/o prospects afterall.

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I don't know what exactly you are talking about but I was the furthest thing away from being broke in my 20s. And I've always had a string of interested parties.

posted October 05, 2013 05:12 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Having a life in order is to have the ability to feed your azz and that of your companion. Without the ability and/or willingness taking care of yourself, forget about attempting to take care of your companion. Going Dutch says "sorry, you take care of yourself because I won't take care of your sorry azz." What sort of man is that?

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Not all women want to be "taken care of"...I mean, everything comes with a price.

Some guys will take care of a woman's bills but not her heart, others will do the reverse, some do a bit of each, but at the end of the day I think we are all responsible for our own happiness. When two people can collaborate towards mutual happiness, that's ideal.

posted October 05, 2013 05:14 PM            

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Originally posted by MetalAphrodite:
Well, my ex had the ability to afford to pay for me and keep me at home as a housewife. However, that did not mean that he regarded me as a woman, but as some mothering bother whom he often referred to as a **** to his friends while I was standing right there lol.

I think true chivalry may have something to do with protecting my honor in some sort of way. Doesn't have to be in a flashy kind of way, not asking for someone to jump in front of a speeding train or some equally ridiculous shiz, but have some care.

If that guy doesn't earn as much, that's fine. I do not see going dutch as an indicator of a terrible date, but it would be rather ****** if the other one continuously makes it a requirement to go dutch. Go Scrooge somewhere else if that's how you feel. Going somewhere with someone on a date should be fun for both people involved, so if both are in agreement over how to divvy the financial part, what's the problem? It's strength of character and conviction that I'm after. I'm not a tool to be bought. I believe I'm a strong woman in search of a strong man. Money is involved of course, but it is not everything.

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Agreed, maybe sexist, to me I believe if one is in a relationship one has to up your game.

Meaning, you've chosen to be with them, that carries the ideal of constantly improving the quality of life you both share.

Does not mean take on a huge mortgage, or to be a dummy consumer, it does mean it is incumbent on BOTH to make it work and to make things better.

No exceptions no demurs, no excuses.

posted October 05, 2013 05:15 PM            

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Originally posted by Faith:
Not all women want to be "taken care of"...I mean, everything comes with a price.

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posted October 05, 2013 05:15 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I don't know what exactly you are talking about but I was the furthest thing away from being broke in my 20s. And I've always had a string of interested parties.

I bought my first house with her in cash.

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posted October 05, 2013 05:22 PM            

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Originally posted by Faith:
Not all women want to be "taken care of"...I mean, everything comes with a price.

Some guys will take care of a woman's bills but not her heart, others will do the reverse, some do a bit of each, but at the end of the day I think we are all responsible for our own happiness. When two people can collaborate towards mutual happiness, that's ideal.

It's not a gender thing to me so much as avoiding or overcoming the language barriers that prevent cooperation. But if one person is fixated on gender stereotypes, that's enough of a barrier to weigh down any relationship they get into, right from the start.

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Agreed..sort of..meaning gender roles matter, what matters more is just finding the other person interesting.

Contrary to AG's notions, a beautiful woman is not made of gold with a heart of stone.

My problem is more they tend to be very dull b/c of their looks they have their ass kissed constantly

"..oh so you did not go into work and he called you on it now he is a butthole.."

posted October 05, 2013 05:23 PM            

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Originally posted by Padre35:
One did mention when you and your wife met, you had been outcast from your family.

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posted October 05, 2013 05:29 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Indeed. I had my own hard earned net worth by then, some of it due to the financial markets. Two apartments fully paid for. And funded college tuition for one imaginary child.

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Still and all, not where you are today.

posted October 05, 2013 05:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Agreed, maybe sexist, to me I believe if one is in a relationship one has to up your game.

Meaning, you've chosen to be with them, that carries the ideal of constantly improving the quality of life you both share.

Does not mean take on a huge mortgage, or to be a dummy consumer, it does mean it is incumbent on BOTH to make it work and to make things better.

No exceptions no demurs, no excuses.

This is why one has to be certain of whom one chooses to be with, sex and saying "I love you" is not enough

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One of my common responses to "I love you" when I didn't believe the other loved me was "That's what you say." That didn't go over too well and I'm not going to lie about how I feel.

Was raised and essentially trained to be a doting house darling who depended on a partner for everything. I'd learned how to dim self and accept what is given to me instead of challenging self for growth.

Still in a male dominated type of environment where women are expected to be treated like domicile objects that only exist when they fit a purpose.

Mm, I don't want to raise my daughter to believe in those types of chains. I also don't want to teach her it's okay to accept a partner just because he has money and can take care of her materially.

Has nothing to do with feminism as much as it does that she should be able to healthily assert what is and is not logical to do based on personal values.

posted October 05, 2013 05:34 PM            

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Still and all, not where you are today.

This is why I called ******** on your post, to assume a man has to be all squared away before even talking or dating is beyond arrogant, it's delusional.

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No. You are being delusional.

And acting insecure. And the inadequacy isn't pretty.

And do I look like I give two sh1ts what anyone's opinion of me is?

posted October 05, 2013 05:50 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Agreed..sort of..meaning gender roles matter, what matters more is just finding the other person interesting.

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I was just taking issue with people who are fixated on gender stereotypes.

Gender roles matter to most people, sure. The difference is, if a person is hung up on stereotypes, they narrow their focus and can't see people for who they are. So they won't choose a partner based on a whole assessment, but rather on their pigeonhole view. That's gonna backfire.

posted October 05, 2013 05:53 PM            

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Originally posted by MetalAphrodite:
Has nothing to do with feminism as much as it does that she should be able to healthily assert what is and is not logical to do based on personal values.

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posted October 05, 2013 05:53 PM            

I think it is honorable that you decided that it was important to be in a position to take care of your partner. I remember you said that at 16 you decided you wanted to be married.

I worked full time before I had a child and my ex gambled my paychecks away and would call mommy to send us money(without my knowledge or permission) to replace funds before I noticed. Of course, I found out anyway, how could I not?

I wouldn't drink milk for several years because I was always afraid that his daughter and my baby would not have enough sometimes. He didn't care about this and would usually finish a gallon by himself in two days, telling me how dare I keep him from eating.

posted October 05, 2013 05:57 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I didn't say I give a sh1t about "all women." I'm not out to date and marry "all women." Like I said. A difference in values symbolizes incompatibility.

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Not talking about your personal preferences but your attitude about dating. If you think all men should insist on paying, then you're saying all women should submit to having things paid for.

posted October 05, 2013 06:06 PM            

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Originally posted by Faith:
I was just taking issue with people who are fixated on gender stereotypes.

Gender roles matter to most people, sure. The difference is, if a person is hung up on stereotypes, they narrow their focus and can't see people for who they are. So they won't choose a partner based on a whole assessment, but rather on their pigeonhole view. That's gonna backfire.

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Absolutely, no one wants to be with Captain Bligh or Capt Feminism.

Point being, ideology aside, a responsible parent reads to their child before bed, makes sure there is food on the table etc.

Instead of just defaulting to gender roles where the male does not talk, and female just is vapid..why not a honest partnership.

As an aside, my last finace' and myself went clothes shopping for clothes for her 12 yr old daughter...just wow..talk about differences!

"Do you like this skirt"?

Me: No, it is too short

"You are no fun!"

posted October 05, 2013 06:09 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
No. You are being delusional.

And acting insecure. And the inadequacy isn't pretty.

And do I look like I give two sh1ts what anyone's opinion of me is?

I'm not here for polite consensus building. And I'll state any opinion I damn well want to. And if I pi$$ more people off. Then oh well.

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I'm going to have to rip off Eminenem:

"Mr Ak straight out of Compton"

posted October 05, 2013 06:13 PM            

He can have his opinion. Your approval is not needed.

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted October 05, 2013 06:24 PM            

"Women play with their beauty as children do with knives: they wound themselves with it." -Victor Hugo

It's a challenge for me, I admit, foregoing certain aesthetics in my daughter's wardrobe for her safety's sake. To me, she looks fine in her new jeans, but my husband says they are too tight...so I'm begrudgingly deferring to him and today I've been shopping online for almost non-existent baggy pants for an 11 year-old.

posted October 05, 2013 06:25 PM            

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
He can have his opinion. Your approval is not needed.

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Picking a fight with me, Ami?

posted October 05, 2013 06:27 PM            

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
[b]Not talking about your personal preferences but your attitude about dating. If you think all men should insist on paying, then you're saying all women should submit to having things paid for.

He can have his opinion. Your approval is not needed.

[/B]

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EXACTLY!

Ian is a Castle Builder, a Patriarch of his family, 40 yrs from now his family will still benefit not only from the short term wealth but from his sterling deeds.

I suspect the term is "meta", Ian knows what he is about and is taking his one asset, time, to teach us all.

posted October 05, 2013 06:33 PM            

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Originally posted by Faith:
@Padre: Hopefully she saw that your intentions were honorable.

"Women play with their beauty as children do with knives: they wound themselves with it." -Victor Hugo

It's a challenge for me, I admit, foregoing certain aesthetics in my daughter's wardrobe for her safety's sake. To me, she looks fine in her new jeans, but my husband says they are too tight...so I'm begrudgingly deferring to him and today I've been shopping online for almost non-existent baggy pants for an 11 year-old.

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Yep, that is a man

Jean skirt above the knee on your daughter?

Aw hell no

Jean skirt on a woman you do not know?

Aww hell yes!

Ugly but true Faith, every single time. The moms are more into letting her be free, the dads are not having it!

Fine balance b/t wanting your children to look presentable and potentially making them easy targets!

posted October 05, 2013 06:34 PM            

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted October 05, 2013 06:39 PM            

My husband is also very traditional, which in the beginning took me off guard. When we went on our first date we went to the movies, an when we were at the counter I opened my purse an took out some money. He just looked at me funny an asked what I was doing an then told me to put it back in my purse as he was paying for it. Thing is I would offer to pay or chip in for our dates but he wasnt having it. First man that was ever like that with me.

posted October 05, 2013 06:49 PM            

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
My personal dislike is this fake feminism thing.

I am sure you married a guy who could support you, Faith, from all I have gleaned on here.

I am sure you did that on purpose, but then you talk this fake feminism.

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You just don't read carefully enough.