posted February 04, 2014 12:13 AM              

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Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
I feel the same way, Kero. Most in relationships don't. A woman gets into a relationship so she has a partner for New Years and Valentine's Day. That's a big deal for most gals and if someone doesn't come through on those days, most women get really ****** off because they feel like they are single again and they get into a relationship to feel connected.

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posted February 04, 2014 12:14 AM            

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Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
This might sound cynical. Some are just glad they don't have to deal with any of it!

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posted February 04, 2014 12:16 AM            

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
Lol every holiday has its political agenda....

I just think the concept of valentines day is silly because yeah New years is when straightedge people sooooooo f'ed up.

4th of july-fire works and MURICCAAAA'
Christmas- Festivities- nostaligia.

BUT LOVE?
love should not be bound for one day only...
Like what crazy stuff do you do on V day?
Like doing anal for your partner.
Or that 3some?

LOL.

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But unfortunately, its not universal. There are still quite a few countries whose laws will place you in jail for going against the wishes of your household for refusing to marry someone that you hardly knew but was chosen for you by the household.

Never mind jail... You can get killed for it and the perp. will get away with the action because the family "honour" was at stake.

So in a broader sense, its a celebration of your freedom to love who you want to love and be with who you want to be with.

posted February 04, 2014 12:17 AM            

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
LOL...
weird.
I've been single around valentines day and it never bothered me at all... I guess some people are so brain washed.
New years you can just hook up with someone.
Its fun being single on new years actually.
NEW YEARS= NEW BEGINNINGS
that means people too.

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posted February 04, 2014 12:17 AM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I'm fairly neutral about V-Day, though I do observe it. My current partner has a Cancer moon, so it's a good idea. But I don't get her (or anyone else) cards or anything like that, I get stuff that is relevant to our relationship.

If I wanted to take issue with it then I suppose that yes, it is commercialized, but it's also plugged into a much greater problem: modern American society dismisses all forms of love other than romantic as trivial at best, which has multiple bad effects.

One, people feel like losers if they don't have a special someone and this holiday really brings it out, and it's more true of women than men, so not only are men spending more on this day but women are spending more throughout the year to land a man because her self-worth is defined by having one...and that can get her to accept very unhealthy relationships as it's better than "being alone." If they don't have "the one" then they feel unloved, friends and family don't count (I've seen men fall victim to this sort of thinking as well), and thus they feel worthless as human beings, and I believe that's willfully engineered to make a buck which is evil.

Another side effect is the devaluing of the family (especially extended family) also makes people more vulnerable which was important to the rise of big government to take care of things whereas countries that spend a lot less sometimes do a lot better because there family helps each other instead of being someone you need to get away from if you have any self-respect. And that disempowers people (with the notable exception of those from toxic homes). Of course to replace friends & family then one must turn to "true love" (which is often burdened by unrealistic expectations by both genders). As if all the other forms of love were somehow "false." The Ancient Greeks knew better, and we'd be healthier and happier if we remembered that, too.

Naturally, the fashion industry does all it can to make women feel undesirable and then sell them their snake oil, and they're now moving to ensnare the men as well (just as tobacco companies once ensnared women) and I think the only reason they haven't succeeded is because of the economy, not many men have the money to become metrosexuals and haven't been brainwashed to believe that looks are everything (plus most 20+ women--as you can see commenting about anywhere including LL--don't like men more fashion conscious than them, at least not as sexual partners) so they're a tougher market (but when the economy improves I expect that to change). Valentine's is just one more way to make the sale through the rest of the year (and get a few more bucks from the men).

Still, that's how I see it in modern America, not historically and not necessarily other countries. And again, I observe it, though more with sentiment than passion. And more importantly, NOT in ways that big business would profit from (at least those seeking to profit from the holiday) and not with the idea that all other forms of love are of little (or even no) value.

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posted February 04, 2014 12:25 AM            

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
Most of your "realism" is pessimistic views on women and/or relationships/sex/dating. (discrimination) It's not working for you so you've adopted these ridiculous viewpoints. It IS working for some of us... A lot of us.
So maybe it's time for you to reevaluate your thinking and figure out who has their head in the sand.

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posted February 04, 2014 12:28 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:

I am having far more success with women now that I have adopted a more selfish and assholish attitude. I used to be the nice guy who would do nice things for women and was honest and loyal to a fault. You know what that got me? Zero,zilch,nada. Now I look out for number one.

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posted February 04, 2014 12:35 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:

Why would you have to be a man? If you really think it would be fun to get someone presents, do it.

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I do! Often. I give to people no matter what the day. That's just me.

My point was that in general it's a more significant holiday to women. So as a man, why not have fun with it too? Rather than get all bent out of shape about why and why not spend money or how unfair it is to one sex or oh **** i have to run out and find a quick rose at a gas station etc etc.....

instead just use it as a day to do something more special than you normally would - weather you are in a relationship or not! And it doesnt mean you don't love less than any other day of the year, but wtf why not go even further and have fun with it? Make that one day even more special (even w/o the Hallmark BS). What's the harm in it?

Life's too short, why the eff not! Even if it's a date you barely know and not a SO or marriage partner. I'd rather die remembering how i went all out for someone once and had fun with them and made a memorable special moment for someone than worrying about if i spent too much money or was a chump in someone elses eyes. You gotta have fun with this sh*t and do it for the love. Even if you blow your whole paycheck - which btw you don't have to. Get into your right brain and do something just as special for free.

I'm just saying, all the ******** about this holiday usually comes from guys who are already deep down sour about relationships, don't have a romantic bone in their body, are tight-wads or scared and don't spend any time trying to be creative about it.

posted February 04, 2014 12:40 AM            

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Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[b]
I am having far more success with women now that I have adopted a more selfish and assholish attitude. I used to be the nice guy who would do nice things for women and was honest and loyal to a fault. You know what that got me? Zero,zilch,nada. Now I look out for number one.

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posted February 04, 2014 12:45 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:

Nah, I don't get into all that garbage. What I did do is realize the reality of the dating scene. I realized that you have to play to the level other people are playing. For example I used to only pursue one girl at a time. I had the mindset that I was a one woman man, and I got burned because most women are constantly seeing multiple guys. I used to see that as incredibly immoral, but im doing the exact same thing now. And you know what? It feels a lot better because if one girl flakes on ya or ditches ya you got another one lined up .

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posted February 04, 2014 12:49 AM            

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Originally posted by T:
When i was 19 i was ******** about the dumb commercialized holiday too.

Then i grew up. Looked at it for what it was and saw it in a more lighthearted light.

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posted February 04, 2014 12:53 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
well I partly agree with you. I agree with you that gifts don't buy love or attraction, so again you have to ask "what's the purpose"? Also I don't think that's why women leave. I think people in general are just selfish and lack loyalty. As a man I'm very uncomfortable with the idea of spending tons on a girl who may leave me high and dry tommorow. I would have to really trust a girl to do that. I would have no problem doing those things "if" I found a girl worth it. But the thing is she would have to meet me halfway, I'm not interested in jumping through hoops anymore, she has to prove herself to me too.

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psst You don't have to spend shtloads of money. Most women would be happy with something more thoughtful.

posted February 04, 2014 12:53 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]
I am having far more success with women now that I have adopted a more selfish and assholish attitude. I used to be the nice guy who would do nice things for women and was honest and loyal to a fault. You know what that got me? Zero,zilch,nada. Now I look out for number one.

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Nah, that's wrong mentality too.
It's confidence, I believe. No woman wants a jerk that I know of.

You know what I did? I spent two years being single, learning to be okay with being single. Getting comfortable with myself, learning to love myself. All that stuff. So that I was happy completely by myself.
Then BAM... there she was.

posted February 04, 2014 12:59 AM            

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Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
I just look at it as one of those "obligation" holidays, like Mother's Day and Father's Day. If you love your Mom and Dad, shouldn't you try to make most days Mother's and Father's ? Why do we need special days? Same with Valentines Day. That's just how I feel. I know others, especially those in relationships, feel a lot differently and want something. It's a major holiday, the stores go completely bonkers over it so there must be many people who celebrate it by spending. That's not even counting all the jewelry ads. It's a big diamond ring holiday, too.

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I hear what you are saying. I'm saying you can still celebrate w/o getting sucked into that. If you want to of course.
And what's wrong with putting even more of a special emphasis on one day? Nothing wrong with focussing the love and celebrating......imo

XODIAN,

posted February 04, 2014 01:23 AM            

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Originally posted by T:

XODIAN,

I get it. & have fun!

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Thankyou . You can sure bet I will .

And since there are those amoung us who are getting all bent out of shape about how this holiday is focused on women... Remember... March 14 is Steak and Sex day .

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Celebrated on March 14th, Steak and Sex Day is a holiday for men, celebrated the month after Valentine's Day -- A holiday for women.

The idea is simple: no cards, flowers, candy or other whimsical gifts. Ladies (and gay men), you simply bestow your partner with a steak and hot steamy Sex. Not necessarily in that order.

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posted February 04, 2014 01:43 AM            

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
Holidays I take seriously.

Halloween
Christmas sometimes
New Years.
4/20
4th of july

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One of these things is not like the other...obviously 4th of July

On a serious note, I like the discussion in here. Xodian, I like your take on V-day- it is so much more than what the commercialized marketing would tell you. I personally am neutral on this holiday- great concept, poor execution. The problem lies in the fact people get so caught up in the pressure to provide material items and not be single on this day to 'prove' they love and/or are loved, which misses the point.

There is nothing wrong with celebrating with gifts and whatnot, but Valentine's day is really meant to show love and appreciation to everyone, and this can be friends, family, pets, etc, not just 'partners' I think V-day is more about showing your gratitude, being of service, expressing positivity, and appreciation to everyone that touched your life. Don't have to buy things to accomplish this either.

posted February 04, 2014 04:17 AM            

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Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
I just look at it as one of those "obligation" holidays, like Mother's Day and Father's Day. If you love your Mom and Dad, shouldn't you try to make most days Mother's and Father's ? Why do we need special days?

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So i guess you don't believe in celebrating birthdays and stuff like that like that, right? Out of the question or......

.....oh.

hm.

posted February 04, 2014 04:22 AM            

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Originally posted by juniperb:
I enjoy Valentines day and do celebrate.

Life gets hectic, kids, jobs, bills, obligations to the nth degree to hold our every day focus .

Altho the shared responsibilities are love and expressed by attending to them, setting aside a day for me and thee is important .

It doesn`t have to be monetary gifts at all. A quiet shared dinner, movie or a hike in the woods. Private time for each other is essential. So we call it St valentines day, it is really just a single day we don`t feel guilty to steal some time to celebrate your love.

They say shared vibrations are strong and if umpteen million people celebrates, a love vibe would color the globe

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posted February 04, 2014 04:28 AM            

exactly!

posted February 04, 2014 04:57 AM            

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Originally posted by Xodian:

How about you guys? What does Valentine's Day mean to you?

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I'm neutral about valentine's day.

posted February 04, 2014 08:21 AM            

It`s about sharing. [ in my world anyhow]

X shared the history of St Valentines so you are aware of it`s intention, not like commercialized sweetest day....

Come on guys, quit bellyaching, YOU get something for Valentines as well.