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Author
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Topic: So much hate against Valentine's Day!
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 10765
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted February 04, 2014 10:17 AM
  
quote:
Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
Nah, that's wrong mentality too.
It's confidence, I believe. No woman wants a jerk that I know of.
You know what I did? I spent two years being single, learning to be okay with being single. Getting comfortable with myself, learning to love myself. All that stuff. So that I was happy completely by myself.
Then BAM... there she was. 
So in the end... there was no "tactic" to speak of. I simply learned to be happy with myself, and then just was... well.. myself. No efforts were made to be anything else.
Really? Than how do you explain the overwhelming number of jerks who are very successful when it comes to getting women? Also confidence doesn't have any value when it comes to attracting partners , you get confident from having success, if you doubt what I'm saying just look at the definition of confidence in webster's dictionary. In case you don't know it says "a self assured feeling that you will succeed based off of past success." Confidence is not a natural all pervasive state that comes from within, its a feeling you get after you accomplish something or have success. Confidence is also a context thing, you can be very confident in one area and have zero confidence in another. Just to give a specific example i am extremely confident behind the wheel of a car. I have several hundred thousand miles under my belt and i have never had an accident. I have driven in all types of conditions including ice and snow and heavy fog, all that with a rear wheel drive small pickup truck with bald tires! When i get behind the wheel of a vehicle i feel totally in control,relaxed ,and confident, i never feel any anxiety about driving. My good friend on the other hand has been in several minor car accidents and he experiences alot of anxiety when he gets in a car. He is always really tense and nervous even if he isnt driving and it shows in his body language and tone of voice. This is how confidence works in a nutshell... IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 7045
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted February 04, 2014 10:58 AM
It's an annual tradition. We tend to go all out. Celebrate or not, it's no big deal. It's not the price tag that counts.IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 9071
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 04, 2014 12:13 PM
quote:
Originally posted by T:
So i guess you don't believe in celebrating birthdays and stuff like that like that, right?  Out of the question or...........oh. hm. okay.
That's one of the reasons we don't need any more "obligation" holidays. There's birthdays, too 
IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 9071
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 04, 2014 12:24 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Really? Than how do you explain the overwhelming number of jerks who are very successful when it comes to getting women? Also confidence doesn't have any value when it comes to attracting partners , you get confident from having success, if you doubt what I'm saying just look at the definition of confidence in webster's dictionary. In case you don't know it says "a self assured feeling that you will succeed based off of past success." Confidence is not a natural all pervasive state that comes from within, its a feeling you get after you accomplish something or have success. Confidence is also a context thing, you can be very confident in one area and have zero confidence in another. Just to give a specific example i am extremely confident behind the wheel of a car. I have several hundred thousand miles under my belt and i have never had an accident. I have driven in all types of conditions including ice and snow and heavy fog, all that with a rear wheel drive small pickup truck with bald tires! When i get behind the wheel of a vehicle i feel totally in control,relaxed ,and confident, i never feel any anxiety about driving. My good friend on the other hand has been in several minor car accidents and he experiences alot of anxiety when he gets in a car. He is always really tense and nervous even if he isnt driving and it shows in his body language and tone of voice. This is how confidence works in a nutshell...
And jerks don't get their partner's anything for Valentine's Day? Believe me, most women would break up with you if you forgot that holiday unless it is just a casual relationship.
IP: Logged |
DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 4348
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted February 04, 2014 12:53 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:Really? Than how do you explain the overwhelming number of jerks who are very successful when it comes to getting women? Also confidence doesn't have any value when it comes to attracting partners , you get confident from having success, if you doubt what I'm saying just look at the definition of confidence in webster's dictionary. In case you don't know it says "a self assured feeling that you will succeed based off of past success." Confidence is not a natural all pervasive state that comes from within, its a feeling you get after you accomplish something or have success. Confidence is also a context thing, you can be very confident in one area and have zero confidence in another. Just to give a specific example i am extremely confident behind the wheel of a car. I have several hundred thousand miles under my belt and i have never had an accident. I have driven in all types of conditions including ice and snow and heavy fog, all that with a rear wheel drive small pickup truck with bald tires! When i get behind the wheel of a vehicle i feel totally in control,relaxed ,and confident, i never feel any anxiety about driving. My good friend on the other hand has been in several minor car accidents and he experiences alot of anxiety when he gets in a car. He is always really tense and nervous even if he isnt driving and it shows in his body language and tone of voice. This is how confidence works in a nutshell... [/B]
You're failing with women so you blame women.... Essentially.
You're living in some kind of underworld man. You're hopeless. Good luck with that attitude.
IP: Logged |
Barbiegirl19
Moderator Posts: 5356
From: Pluto with DeepFreeze
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted February 04, 2014 12:56 PM
Confidence - a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.
Example - "she's brimming with confidence"
synonyms: self-assurance, self-confidence, self-possession, assertiveness
antonyms: uncertainty, doubtAll in all confidence is having trust in yourself and believing in yourself, what you said is a small part of it. IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 9071
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 04, 2014 01:32 PM
quote:
Originally posted by juniperb:
It`s not about cards or gifts so your wallets are safe. It`s about sharing. [ in my world anyhow]
X shared the history of St Valentines so you are aware of it`s intention, not like commercialized sweetest day....
Come on guys, quit bellyaching, YOU get something for Valentines as well. 
To the vast majority of people it's about cards or gifts
Look at the stores! On February 14th, about 4:30 pm, go to local drug store that sells Valentine's Day merchandise and see what it's like. You will see a long line full of men who have stopped by on their way home because they feel they must buy something or their lives will never be the same again. They will never be forgiven. I think it's funny and sorta sad at the same time. You can tell their hearts aren't in it. If someone were doing something like that for me and I knew how they really felt, I would just tell them don't bother, tyvm, but that's just how I am.My advice to anyone who chooses to celebrate this holiday do something because you really feel like it, not just because you know your partner will be angry or depressed if she doesn't get the best gift, better than all her friends.
Oh, and for all you guys with partners who work in offices and whatnot be extra sure, if you send a bouquet of flowers, be extra extra certain it is equal to or better than all the other women's in the office because women really take this seriously! I know from all my women friends and you would not believe the sulking and stories I have heard. One friend gets a sad, wilted rose from her bf, the others NEVER let her hear the end of it! You guys be prepared to send her a WORTHY bouquet of flowers and if you send her nothing at all, that's the WORST thing you could do.
I don't ever want to hear another story about a sad, wilted, solitary rose for Valentine's Day.
Believe me, you don't want all women in the office who got lovely, bountiful bouquets of red roses from their husbands or boyfriends forever looking at your girlfriend or wife with sadness and pity in their eyes and they will do that if she doesn't get a decent bouquet.
So my advice is, do as much as you can on this one and skimp on the others if you must but not this! This is like, the most important one to any woman who has to work with other women. IP: Logged |
Violets
Knowflake Posts: 4396
From:
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted February 04, 2014 02:04 PM
^ If I had to work with women like that I might have to resort to drastic measures.  Handing out chocolate "candies", i.e. laxatives. "Here, try one, they're delicious and they help you lose weight!" Buwahahahaha! Really, I'm kidding. But the thought would cross my mind. IP: Logged |
DaniPepper87
Moderator Posts: 3448
From: Curitiba, Brasil
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted February 04, 2014 02:08 PM
Ahhh I never had a bf in the Valentine's Day here in Brazil (it's celebrated in 13th June), but I'm not against it. But I need to agree that if you want give gifts for a beloved one, give it with no especific day LOL.IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 7045
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted February 04, 2014 02:13 PM
It shouldn't be a contest amongst women either. It perverts the concept of Valentine's. This isn't about the size or cost of the gifts. The angst among women over gifts truly irks me.Every year, for the last 20 years, my wife always gets blah blah blah etc. etc., plus other gifts, plus dinner blah blah. It's the natural propensity for women to announce what they have and that they are so happy. That I don't blame. My wife posts pics on FB. That I don't really endorse nor condone but I cannot blame. Given the occassion, I'm not about to burst a woman's bubble, especially one I love. What I hate is the artificial trumped up hate from me giving anything to my wife. I'm not in the business of making any other woman feel happy other than my wife. My sister-in-law turns to her husband and beats him up. He spent blah blah blah and you spent 1/4 of X, as opposed to my brother who spent 3/4 of X. Whatever. The guys in turn call me and try to beat me up. Too bad you guys are a bunch of procrasinating cheap sh1t mofos with no fo-ing imagination, dipsh1tz. F off, man. I'm sick and tired of Valentines becoming some opportunity for comparison... like the kids on the block complaining that the schlub next door got the most fancy bike or biggest toy. You mustn't have been good 'cos Santa brought you a mofo-ing lump of coal. In this case, we have women b1tching about the size of the other woman's canary diamond, etc. Valentines should be a private affair and not for advertisement nor comparison. There shouldn't be a monetary value attached to love. No amount of roses or fancy dinners makes up for a husband's love for his wife. Meanwhile, Proflowers, Godiva, etc. are just getting their pockets lined. IP: Logged |
Violets
Knowflake Posts: 4396
From:
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted February 04, 2014 02:21 PM
The type of women you guys are talking about here are like some sort of alien species to me. None of my women friends are that way, and I am not that way. I probably know women who are like that, but they're not people I spend my time around. IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 9071
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 04, 2014 02:32 PM
These were women I went to high school with. Very competitive over boyfriends and insecure and they all ended up working together. Then they had this supervisor who had a husband who worshiped the ground she walked on, was always sending her stuff, coming by, being every woman's dream husband, how they all wished theirs would act. He was just a really sweet guy who loved his wife dearly. So, they had this to deal with and we were all in our early twenties then.
The supervisor put the pressure on so it was like, emotionally abusive in a way, working there. I did not envy any of them. Just seemed like a headache to me. IP: Logged |
Violets
Knowflake Posts: 4396
From:
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted February 04, 2014 02:38 PM
Man, I don't think I was into Valentine's Day, even in my twenties. But I'm willing to bet money that the women I went to high school with are that way as well. Another stellar reason I don't live in the town I grew up in. IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 9071
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 04, 2014 02:53 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Violets:
Man, I don't think I was into Valentine's Day, even in my twenties. But I'm willing to bet money that the women I went to high school with are that way as well. Another stellar reason I don't live in the town I grew up in.
I was on the fringe of their clique so I never worked where they did but I hung out with both of them from time to time. They and this other girl worked at the same place, complained about each other constantly and then would say things to get the supervisor to show bias. With this one girl, I could hang out with her but she would get insanely jealous of others. It was just really tense. So, if I hung around the other girl, she would say things behind my back so the other girl wouldn't like me. She played that divide and conquer game. And then the other girl she had gotten in a huge fight with in high school before she went to the UK as a foreign exchange student.
Soon they were all working together at this store, in the office, even the one who had the falling out.
There was lots of jealousy but they were fun to go clubbing with and to see bands and stuff, which we spent most of our spare time doing. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 6029
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted February 04, 2014 09:54 PM
quote:
Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
Believe me, you don't want all women in the office who got lovely, bountiful bouquets of red roses from their husbands or boyfriends forever looking at your girlfriend or wife with sadness and pity in their eyes and they will do that if she doesn't get a decent bouquet.
So my advice is, do as much as you can on this one and skimp on the others if you must but not this! This is like, the most important one to any woman who has to work with other women.
I just got curious...any one read men magazines that talk about relationships? I read through a sampling of men's magazines before out of curiosity and trying to figure out how men think and what guys really want. I was actually impressed with their sex advice columns, typically so much better (for both genders) than what I've seen in most women's magazines. But I don't recall much of anything about dating (at least not any that wasn't treated as comedy with a lot of snark), whereas women's magazines were filled with them (like "don't have your guy hold your purse for you in public...ever"). Do they give advice and insights as the part I quoted? I'm sure a lot of guys would actually like to know stuff like that. IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 9071
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 05, 2014 02:40 AM
Most guys probably want to read about sex and not gifts. Dating advice isn't high on their priorities. A lot of them rely on their partner to educate them about dating and won't take advice offered in the pages of a magazine while women will gladly write in, hope their letter gets published in advice columns and will follow the published advice although sometimes it's utterly absurd and ridiculous nonsense, like when Glamour suggests putting toothpaste on blemishes. Some will try it.
So I would say take everything with a grain of salt in a women's magazine. Caveat Emptor. I guess the same could be said for men's magazines or any publication for that matter. Sometimes pages are filled with bs because the writer cannot think of anything else.  IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 3920
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted February 05, 2014 05:42 AM
Well, to me it is a good time for giving flirty/fun gifts to the single ladies in ones life one is attracted to and would like to know.They don't have to be expensive, that is where things go awry as that puts things on that "he spent how much and I bet he wants something (sex) for doing it, I never asked for this" zone Randal is right, this notion men are expected to spend large $$ is an imposition IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 3920
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted February 05, 2014 05:45 AM
quote:
Originally posted by T:
When i was 19 i was ******** about the dumb commercialized holiday too.Then i grew up. Looked at it for what it was and saw it in a more lighthearted light.
Exactly, if both are not comfortable with it, they why do it if whatever one does is not fun? IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 7045
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted February 05, 2014 12:39 PM
The concept of people grooming themselves solely for the purpose of going out on Valentines is also ridiculous. People should take care of themselves, period. I'm not advocating dressing to the nines all the time, but personal grooming standards ought to be maintained year round.Same goes for sex on Valentines. Seriously. Do people take extra measures just to have special sex on Valentines? And just have lackluster sex for the rest of the year? That sounds ridiculous. IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 9071
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 05, 2014 03:20 PM
With some women on Valentine's it's less about sex and more about what they tell other women. They want a good story to tell involving something really nice and romantic and for other women to wish they had the same or better.
Some men will pay an escort a lot of money on Valentines day and spend time with her, not caring if he has a girlfriend the rest of the year.
Then you have the occasional woman who will hire a male escort for Valentine's Day but I bet this is really uncommon.
Some women will just go to a spa an pamper themselves on this day.
Everyone is different. IP: Logged |
Kerosene
unregistered
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posted February 05, 2014 10:01 PM
I was talking to a lot of young people at uni about what they are doing for V-day.All them either felt it was commercialized or just not interested.
I fall under the not interested category..
Most of them belonged to pluto in Scorpio-Sag generation.
Then again young people are often openly amorous especially this generation.
So why would you need to emphasize romance for one day of the year?
Perhaps as you get older stuff like Vday seems more attractive? IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 9071
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 05, 2014 10:18 PM
It's attractive to married people or someone with a steady bf/gf.In school we exchanged Valentines with everyone in the class so we all got neat Valentines from everyone else but it was nbd. IP: Logged |
Violets
Knowflake Posts: 4396
From:
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted February 05, 2014 11:13 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
I was talking to a lot of young people at uni about what they are doing for V-day.All them either felt it was commercialized or just not interested.
I fall under the not interested category..
Most of them belonged to pluto in Scorpio-Sag generation.
Then again young people are often openly amorous especially this generation.
So why would you need to emphasize romance for one day of the year?
Perhaps as you get older stuff like Vday seems more attractive?
Nope. Even as a Pluto in Libra person (hence older, and married for that matter) it does not become more attractive. Seriously, I don't care. If my husband completely forgot about it, it would not phase me one bit. Hell, I forget about it. I'm not worried about one day of the year marked by a calender that is supposed to dictate my romantic life. It doesn't. If other people want to celebrate the holiday because they enjoy it, that's great. I'm not going to rain on their parade, but I'm also not going to show up with bells on. If I forgot V-Day, I think my Leo husband might be slightly hurt, but not by much. We both tend to forget stuff like that, because it's not what makes up our lives. ...In other news, the stereotypes in this thread are killing me. Stop the madness! IP: Logged |
Violets
Knowflake Posts: 4396
From:
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted February 05, 2014 11:25 PM
I think more about getting things for my son, or appreciating the cards my parents send me on Valentine's Day. I should also add here that my husband's Mars/NN in Aquarius is conjunct my Aqua DSC and Mercury, and we both have prominent Uranus in our charts. Societal norms and expectations are not our specialty. IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 3920
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted February 05, 2014 11:59 PM
Chatted with my neighbor(ette) about this very thing, "would you be my awkward Valentine's Day Date" she is asked, and she is quite single
And a bit afraid that if she agreed to one of the date proposals then the guy would think she liked them more then she really didThe implied obligation so to speak What is even funnier to me is several gentlemen (presumably) want to take her to really expensive places, and she is a vegan at heart and does not like places with to much "meat" on the menu. I told her I'd just take her for a feta and spinach pizza at a local pizzeria and a couple of beers, she'd told me she'd be happy to accept..tho I'm not really on the dating market just yet.and when I told her she'd have to pay she got down right disagreeable (she knew I was being sarcastic). She's a great lady, pity atm, ah well IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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